zakharov posted:

Wedding chat via Prudence


Broke: looking at your resources and figuring out what you can afford.

Woke: assuming dad will foot the bill.

Willfrey posted:

Which loving state has a 30k wedding be below average cost

zakharov posted:

I would bet New York based on my own experience. Catering is insanely expensive.

Palpek posted:

Dad sounds completely normal. Yeah, let me pay this arbitrary bill that was handed to me by idiot children who assumed that because I'm rich I'm paying no matter the cost no questions asked.

areyoucontagious posted:

I still don’t understand the “blow a down payment on a house” style weddings. It’s one thing if you’re independently wealthy or have a silver spoon but people who are like “were barely keeping it together, driving ourselves and our loved ones into debt, should we uninvite Uncle Rebus’s +1 for his new girlfriend” need to take a step back and re-evaluate their priorities

basement_family posted:

I'll try and be as factual as possible.

In the middle of January my wife's family moved into the basement when their former home was condemned and their temporary housing ran out. The family consists of Mom (50s), Dad (50s), three brothers (from 19 to late 20s) and her trans sister (mid-30s) The only source of income for the entire family is dad's military pension. Besides Dad, the only one who has any work history is the eldest. She sold cell phones for an electronics retailer for about a year, however it is now several years since she has worked.

My basement is finished, has a second kitchen, but no bathroom, so we must share the only bathroom in the house which is on the second floor. There are many trips through our family room to go upstairs. Cleanliness has been an issue as well, there have been several times that I've found urine and feces on/around the toilet. Today, when I went to take a shower I found feces all over the shower... on the floor, in the drain, and the wall.

At this point I feel like we are enabling their lifestyle, but also delaying the inevitable. I've asked my wife to have them leave by May 1 (I did this several weeks ago) but now as the day approaches I feel very guilty for returning them to homelessness. That being said, it is very hard to come home some nights (I work full time and have two side gigs) to a grown people who seem to be doing nothing to improve their situation.

AITA?

Edit: In fairness to them, they aren't smearing it. This is a carelessness, not malicious. They aren't bad people, just misguided.

IIIIIIII321 posted:

I'm using an alt to save me some trouble. This summer i'm taking my family to Disneyland. We have been planning for almost a year to go and all 3 of my kids are ecstatic. Everything has honestly been great so far and it looked to be a great vacation, until recently. This is where my 13 year old son James comes in. James has been a problem child as of recent. He's been acting up in school, getting in trouble around the house, and been an overall headache for me. I've always had the mindset that "kids will be kids". Hating school is fine, I get it. And he's getting to that age where he's going to push back a little but he has tested my every nerve.

​

I've tried to handle it with care and be "the good cop". Try and handle it with love and care, you know? Well, that changed this last week. James was caught shoplifting. The store called us and my wife had to go and deal with it. The owner was nice enough not to get the police involved and we made James pay for what he was going to steal.

​

That was not enough for me. The minute I got home I sat him down and lectured him. He seemed to not really care and eventually started to argue with me. Eventually I had enough and told him that he's lost his right to go to Disney with us. He immediately started to apologize and begged to go but I told him no. I told him he will instead be going to my parents and working on my dads farm for that time while his sisters have fun at Disney.

​

James has been a wreak since then. He's been crying to his mom for me to reconsider and claiming he'll stop being bad but I don't buy it. My wife says i'm being to harsh and to let him go but I feel like this is where we need to put our foot down. My dad says I'm doing the right thing and is all for working him while we go to Disney but could I be wrong. I feel like maybe a second opinion would be good here. So, what do you guys think?

Renegret posted:

Lower the budget and see how quickly he changes his mind when his fellow millionaire friends get invited to a hobo wedding. Or just cut the dad's friends.

Willfrey posted:

Then again I am unmarried and you can hear my cheeks clap while I talk outta my rear end

zakharov posted:

Wedding chat via Prudence


Broke: looking at your resources and figuring out what you can afford.

Woke: assuming dad will foot the bill.

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

Joke: siding with millionaires

areyoucontagious posted:

What really happened is he initially told them he’d pay for everything and they came back to him with the swan labyrinth

Scathach posted:

...? Please tell me this is a labyrinth full of angry swans.

Leon Einstein posted:

My dad offers me money for each additional grandchild.

Clark Nova posted:

The millionaire offering to split everything exactly evenly 4-ways with working people is absolutely an overstuffed colostomy bag of a human being

tactlessbastard posted:

My dad still complains about only having one grandchild (He has 9 granddaughters)

Leon Einstein posted:

I think you overestimate the wealth of your average millionaires.

InediblePenguin posted:

"the Fair Thing is equal contributions even though im fully aware that we don't all have equal resources" isn't fair and is a sign of being a regressive poo poo, hth

Leon Einstein posted:

Nobody is obligated to pay for the wedding. The bride and groom can pay for their own party. Hth

Do you compare financial statements when splitting the bill with others at a restaurant?

username1770 posted:

Had the day off today, much needed time to stay home and hangout with my wife and 2 year old daughter.

During our daughter's nap my wife started tidying up a bit while I watched some TV. About 20 minutes later I (not so subtlety) hinted to if she wanted to "take a break" from cleaning. She scoffed and said no that she needed to finish cleaning. I was a little disappointed and probably let it show in my facial expressions, but said okay and went back to the couch. She came out 5 minutes later in an almost exasperated tone and said "okay fine we can go have sex then if you really want to"

I felt completely belittled and almost like it would have felt like begging if I said okay. So I declined and and said, "that's okay, you can finish what you're doing." She countered with "well you're just going to be upset at me if we don't so let's just go to the bedroom." I then restated that I didn't want to anymore and it was fine, she could go back to what she was doing, which she then did.

Honestly I feel a little degraded that my wife acted like it was such an inconvenience to have sex with me. We've been married 5 years and our sex life has definitely slowed down over the last 2 since having kids, but this is a first.

So am I the rear end in a top hat here?

Leon Einstein posted:

I think you overestimate the wealth of your average millionaires.

InediblePenguin posted:

i see your point in this post, but i still don't see your point in the last one about "overestimating the wealth of millionaires" tbh

Tythas posted:

AITA for refusing my wife sex after she refused me?

Pick posted:

Tythas posted:

AITA for refusing my wife sex after she refused me?

Palpek posted:

Give me a nickle for every zero-communication keeping-score marriage post on reddit complete with crab mentality OP. Fun for everybody involved including the kid.

LeonCovacs posted:

This may be a really messed up way of thinking, but I would like to hear what you guys have to say. I think that people have certain things that they want to have in a relationship. One of those things for me is sex. I want to have sex that is enjoyable for both me and my SO. If my SO hypothetically is unable to have sex, is it justified to tell them that the relationship would not work for me? My SO made me feel really bad about me saying this and I feel awful for thinking this way. My SO thinks that a relationship has sex on the side as a bonus, while I think that it is a large part of being comfortable with your SO. I would like to know if my thoughts are justified or not and why.

TL;DR I feel that sex is a requirement for me in a relationship. Is that justified, if so, why?

Tythas posted:

AITA for refusing my wife sex after she refused me?