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Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority

spb posted:

Any good Strats for eating pussy? I mostly do ordinary things like rubbing my face in it, breathing on it and doing the alphabet with my tongue. Hoping to pick up some Strats that I can use "in the bedroom".

When she goes "oooooohhh," slide two fingers in and say "THE CLAWWWWWWWWWWW!"

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Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Read 3 books about eating pussy than learn your life partner is asexual.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Don’t do the goddamned alphabet!

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

spb posted:

Any good Strats for eating pussy? I mostly do ordinary things like rubbing my face in it, breathing on it and doing the alphabet with my tongue. Hoping to pick up some Strats that I can use "in the bedroom".

Have her masturbate for you, pay attention to where and how she touches herself. Duplicate to the best of your ability with your tongue and mouth.

Also pay attention to how she responds - if she moans or pulls you in while you're doing something, do more of it. If she's silent and still then what you're doing probably isn't working and you need to change it up.

And enthusiasm goes a long way even if your technique needs some work.

Geoj fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Apr 15, 2019

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.
I've been having an infrequent but frustrating problem with condoms. When doing missionary, sometimes it feels like the condom has worn all of its lube off, and when that happens and I start to feel friction I lose my erection very quickly. It doesn't seem to happen at all in other positions we've tried, so I'm not sure if it's a position problem, a problem with the condoms themselves, or if i should just be putting more lube on the condom before we start. Any ideas?

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

SpaceViking posted:

I've been having an infrequent but frustrating problem with condoms. When doing missionary, sometimes it feels like the condom has worn all of its lube off, and when that happens and I start to feel friction I lose my erection very quickly. It doesn't seem to happen at all in other positions we've tried, so I'm not sure if it's a position problem, a problem with the condoms themselves, or if i should just be putting more lube on the condom before we start. Any ideas?

Condoms are always under-lubed (imagine how much more annoying they’d be to use if they weren’t) and the lube is usually lovely and full of parabens. Add some of your own.

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty

SpaceViking posted:

I've been having an infrequent but frustrating problem with condoms. When doing missionary, sometimes it feels like the condom has worn all of its lube off, and when that happens and I start to feel friction I lose my erection very quickly. It doesn't seem to happen at all in other positions we've tried, so I'm not sure if it's a position problem, a problem with the condoms themselves, or if i should just be putting more lube on the condom before we start. Any ideas?

Put a tiny dab of lube in the tip of the condom before starting, and as much lube as you want on the outside.

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.
Thanks for the advice, I'll plan to make extra lube part of the condom process.

Hyperlynx
Sep 13, 2015

e: never mind

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Question for uncircumcised dudes (I guess circumcised guys can answer too): how easy are quickies for you? Like can you have sex that lasts <5 mins where you're able to actually finish just from intercourse?

Colonel J
Jan 3, 2008

Qubee posted:

Question for uncircumcised dudes (I guess circumcised guys can answer too): how easy are quickies for you? Like can you have sex that lasts <5 mins where you're able to actually finish just from intercourse?

Real easy, if I don't control myself it can be over quite fast.

One time it took like... 5 seconds? One of the most shameful moments of my life. Usually not a problem but that time I really dropped the ball. I cringe when i think back

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Yeah I've been in the same place; she'll be touching me but I'm not the focus because I'm doing her, but I'll be way too excited from doing her, and when the focus does shift it's sometimes over real quickly. That's why she comes first :v:

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

Qubee posted:

Question for uncircumcised dudes (I guess circumcised guys can answer too): how easy are quickies for you? Like can you have sex that lasts <5 mins where you're able to actually finish just from intercourse?

Do you masterbate with the skin? If you want more sensitivity then you can try and change your technique.

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

Qubee posted:

Question for uncircumcised dudes (I guess circumcised guys can answer too): how easy are quickies for you? Like can you have sex that lasts <5 mins where you're able to actually finish just from intercourse?

Yes? I mean it really depends on the situation- what we’re doing, whether I’ve jerked off a bunch recently or not, how tired I am, etc. I feel like maybe part of it is me getting older too.

I also tend to go through phases, it seems- sometimes it’s much easier for me to finish quickly and to choose to do so, other times I’d like to last longer and can’t. And then I’ll go through periods where I can just make myself last indefinitely, but then also periods where I just go and go and would love to finish but have difficulty doing so.

Honestly, the best thing I’ve found is to just keep having lots of sex and not worry so much if something does/doesn’t happen. If somebody finishes and the other needs manual attention as well then you take care of it.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority

Qubee posted:

Question for uncircumcised dudes (I guess circumcised guys can answer too): how easy are quickies for you? Like can you have sex that lasts <5 mins where you're able to actually finish just from intercourse?

Poncho dick-haver here, and quickies are easy for me.

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

Planning on having reverse cowgirl on Tuesday. Tuesday or Wendesday.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Kazvall posted:

Do you masterbate with the skin? If you want more sensitivity then you can try and change your technique.

I'm circumcised, so I used to use lube or just weirdly jerk the tip to get around the lack of foreskin. The entire concept of a quickie is beyond me. I can't cum fast no matter how turned on I am, I just gotta thrust away until I eventually hit climax. Which kinda sucks cause creampies are my poo poo, but 9 times out of 10 we finish me off with manual stimulation because I just get absolutely wrecked from how tiring it is. I thought it'd get better with time and laying off masturbation / porn, but I'm stuck in limbo and I guess this is my lot in life.

We've tried so many different positions, some are better than others for me (and vice versa for her). But we haven't found "the one" position that'll make me bust a nut in no time.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

spb posted:

Planning on having reverse cowgirl on Tuesday. Tuesday or Wendesday.

Hell yeah nice

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

Qubee posted:

I'm circumcised, so I used to use lube or just weirdly jerk the tip to get around the lack of foreskin. The entire concept of a quickie is beyond me. I can't cum fast no matter how turned on I am, I just gotta thrust away until I eventually hit climax. Which kinda sucks cause creampies are my poo poo, but 9 times out of 10 we finish me off with manual stimulation because I just get absolutely wrecked from how tiring it is. I thought it'd get better with time and laying off masturbation / porn, but I'm stuck in limbo and I guess this is my lot in life.

We've tried so many different positions, some are better than others for me (and vice versa for her). But we haven't found "the one" position that'll make me bust a nut in no time.

Sometimes it takes weeks. Are you on any meds that might affect it? Do you work out?

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
Dude, you've been having sex for like 6 weeks. You probably aren't tragically cursed to learn nothing and stay exactly the same for the rest of your life

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Electric Bugaloo posted:

Sometimes it takes weeks. Are you on any meds that might affect it? Do you work out?

No meds, and no I don't work out but I probably should. Would help.

Anne Whateley posted:

Dude, you've been having sex for like 6 weeks. You probably aren't tragically cursed to learn nothing and stay exactly the same for the rest of your life

I mean true but poo poo man.

Hats Wouldnt Fly
Feb 9, 2010

.
Redfont is my hero.

Qubee posted:

I'm circumcised, so I used to use lube or just weirdly jerk the tip to get around the lack of foreskin. The entire concept of a quickie is beyond me. I can't cum fast no matter how turned on I am, I just gotta thrust away until I eventually hit climax. Which kinda sucks cause creampies are my poo poo, but 9 times out of 10 we finish me off with manual stimulation because I just get absolutely wrecked from how tiring it is. I thought it'd get better with time and laying off masturbation / porn, but I'm stuck in limbo and I guess this is my lot in life.

We've tried so many different positions, some are better than others for me (and vice versa for her). But we haven't found "the one" position that'll make me bust a nut in no time.

Don't worry you're just gay.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Qubee posted:

I'm circumcised, so I used to use lube or just weirdly jerk the tip to get around the lack of foreskin. The entire concept of a quickie is beyond me. I can't cum fast no matter how turned on I am, I just gotta thrust away until I eventually hit climax. Which kinda sucks cause creampies are my poo poo, but 9 times out of 10 we finish me off with manual stimulation because I just get absolutely wrecked from how tiring it is. I thought it'd get better with time and laying off masturbation / porn, but I'm stuck in limbo and I guess this is my lot in life.

Give it time dude.

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty

Qubee posted:

creampies

I really, really detest this word. Why does every sexual act have to have a porn term attached now? :argh: (e: because internet porn searches, I know)

Also, practice makes perfect and holy poo poo, the sex I was having when I first started out is worlds apart from most of the sex I have now. Things change, you learn, you learn about yourself and your partner/s, sex is not a static thing throughout anyone's life.

Bollock Monkey fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Apr 21, 2019

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

I wouldn't mind the porno terms if porno terms weren't consistently the absolute grossest words they could come up with

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

purple death ray posted:

I wouldn't mind the porno terms if porno terms weren't consistently the absolute grossest words they could come up with

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade :c00lbert:
What kind of creampies are you talking about?

https://youtu.be/dvZpFItnaSM

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty

purple death ray posted:

I wouldn't mind the porno terms if porno terms weren't consistently the absolute grossest words they could come up with

Why are they all so, so gross?

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

You can save so much money by using the pull out method instead of condoms.

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




spb posted:

You can save so much money by using the pull out method instead of condoms.

:thunk:

This is.. a joke, right?

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


spb posted:

You can save so much money by using the pull out method instead of condoms.

Kids are p expensive duder

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

How strict is the expiration date on condoms? It claims they'll last for years but is it better not to let them lie around that long?

Bollock Monkey posted:

Why are they all so, so gross?
Maybe they're made up by those really gross and creepy guys who seem to get off on grossing others out.

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Poil posted:

How strict is the expiration date on condoms? It claims they'll last for years but is it better not to let them lie around that long?
strict

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
I mean if you want to use them up sooner then God bless, but assuming you're keeping them like the insert says (normal room temperature, out of sunlight, no weird friction), they'll be good until the expiration date. That's kinda the concept

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!
Yes, don’t keep them in like a wallet or purse for weeks and weeks

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority

Johnny Truant posted:

:thunk:

This is.. a joke, right?

Who knows anymore.

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE


what. the. gently caress.

The creator of this fine not condom had attempted to SUPER GLUE his urethra shut as a way to negate the need for a condom.

This is the world we live in.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
If your condoms expire, they don't have to end up in the bin. It's always worth keeping a few around for the odd posh wank.

trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

Masonity posted:

If your condoms expire, they don't have to end up in the bin. It's always worth keeping a few around for the odd posh wank.

quoi?

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trilobite terror
Oct 20, 2007
BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!
Oh also- whomever recommended putting a drop of lube in the condom to make it more comfortable-
:rudebox:

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