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this is the weirdest truth.
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Apr 17, 2019 08:08
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Elton John: Honky Cat plz go. Honky Cat: no |
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Apr 17, 2019 20:48
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Scientists discover black cats aren't bad luck, they just seem that way because all your good luck was used up encountering a nice kitty.Splatmaster posted:I've NEVER eaten ANCHOVIES! It's like eating a pound of salt that has a fish flavor to it.
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Apr 17, 2019 21:57
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Farecoal posted:they called the second gamecube, the gamecube one lol
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Apr 17, 2019 22:54
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super sweet best pal posted:Scientists discover black cats aren't bad luck, they just seem that way because all your good luck was used up encountering a nice kitty. |
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Apr 17, 2019 22:54
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super sweet best pal posted:Scientists discover black cats aren't bad luck, they just seem that way because all your good luck was used up encountering a nice kitty. walking under a ladder isn't bad luck, the ladder just protects you from bad luck while you're under it. afterwards all that bad luck Final Destinations up with you CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Apr 18, 2019 02:53
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This is amazing. It could also be "huge unexplained gap in work history" ---------------- |
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Apr 18, 2019 07:59
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I was a receptionist for an office full of loan processors in the 80s. My job was to keep borrowers from bothering the processors so they could work. I had 10 lines lit up from 9 to 5. That is kind of how I remember the processors except they were also women and hot. |
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Apr 20, 2019 03:00
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alnilam posted:I'll show you a joke not worth making a thread about... if you turn your screen off for a good joke press alt-f4 |
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Apr 20, 2019 06:39
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Rolling Nuns posted:for a good joke press alt-f4 classic ---------------- |
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Apr 20, 2019 17:07
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Clicking here makes all your wildest dreams come true. |
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Apr 20, 2019 18:47
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Phone users are brutally immune to any of those. Take that, joksters!!
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Apr 20, 2019 19:17
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The floor was clean so the pancakes didnt really fall on the floor. They just sort of went down for a sec then back up. How many do you want? |
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Apr 20, 2019 19:39
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mountaincat posted:The floor was clean so the pancakes didnt really fall on the floor. They just sort of went down for a sec then back up. How many do you want? did they land syrup side up? ---------------- |
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Apr 20, 2019 20:10
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No they were dry so you can put on whatever you want now. The butter and syrup also fell on the floor but, you know, closed container and everything, so they are good to go. |
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Apr 20, 2019 20:39
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Going up to girls at S&M parties and saying "Hey is this guy bothering you?" |
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Apr 22, 2019 01:46
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The Ring except it's an edible and if you take it you'll be super high in seven days
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Apr 22, 2019 01:52
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ghost emoji posted:The Ring except it's an edible and if you take it you'll be super high in seven days happy 4/13! ---------------- |
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Apr 22, 2019 03:52
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A very homophobic cleaning product called Orson Scotch Guard |
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Apr 22, 2019 09:27
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corporate mascots doubling up with sidegigs to make ends meet mr clean now also reps for rogaine ---------------- |
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Apr 22, 2019 15:45
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FactsAreUseless posted:A very homophobic cleaning product called Orson Scotch Guard lmao got any sevens posted:mr clean now also reps for rogaine It comes out that Mr. Clean causes hair loss. Stoners everywhere are FURIOUS. |
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Apr 22, 2019 16:29
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led zeppelin except all the mythology and lord of the rings references are replaced with simpsons references
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Apr 23, 2019 16:58
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we come from the land of albany in upstate new york where the hams are steamed |
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Apr 23, 2019 16:58
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Babe I'm Gonna Steam Hams
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Apr 23, 2019 17:23
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how years ago in days of old when magic filled the air somebody had to take the babysitter home then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can I grabbed her sweet can oh just thinking about her sweet sweet can |
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Apr 23, 2019 17:29
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Donut of the gods...will tempt our mouth to new lands
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Apr 23, 2019 17:30
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there's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold and she's buying an escalator to nowhere |
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Apr 23, 2019 17:38
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when she gets there, she knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word she can trade it all for what's in this box 
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Apr 23, 2019 17:40
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Cubone posted:when she gets there, she knows, there's a man named snrub who suggests where to spend all the money from the nuclear waste bill and a man with a plan to put springfield on the map but the idea is more suited for shelbyville |
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Apr 23, 2019 18:01
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quote:there's a sign on the wall 
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Apr 23, 2019 18:15
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canyoneer posted:there's a man named snrub lol btw |
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Apr 23, 2019 18:17
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joke seen in the wild: what if soy milk was just regular milk practicing spanish? ---------------- |
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Apr 23, 2019 21:43
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got any sevens posted:joke seen in the wild: lol what if "la bamba" was actually a marketing jingle for a tofu imitation of capitan?
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Apr 24, 2019 02:43
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It came from documentation: Test-Driven Development with Python: Obey the Testing Goat: Using Django, Selenium, and JavaScript 2nd Edition, Kindle Edition Obey the testing goat, y'all. |
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Apr 24, 2019 17:33
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FactsAreUseless posted:A very homophobic cleaning product called Orson Scotch Guard 
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Apr 25, 2019 14:20
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on my bus route i pass a place called 'espresso dental' that sounds too intimidating to enter will the patients be trying to sip a latte between scrapes? or will the dentist be so jittery you're trying to not scream when they drill you? what are some other businesses that shouldnt be combined? ---------------- |
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Apr 25, 2019 16:29
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Manifisto posted:lol Was this after they stopped making the tofu marinara sauce? |
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Apr 26, 2019 18:40
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Wolverine sits quietly, alone in his thoughts. He's in the classic Rodin's "Thinker" pose, chin on fist, knee on elbow. Just then, Cyclops sneaks up on him, blown up paper bag in hand and POPS the bag with a loud report. A familiar *snick* is heard as Wolverine's claws shoot out, unbidden...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Apr 26, 2019 18:57
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I was supposed to learn how to use comic hyperbole in theater class back in high school, but our drama teacher was so bad... (how bad was he?) he was so bad, I do not know how to use comic hyperbole |
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Apr 27, 2019 09:05
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Cubone posted:I was supposed to learn how to use comic hyperbole in theater class back in high school, but our drama teacher was so bad... |
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Apr 27, 2019 11:17
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