/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Blade Runner posted:

It's basically just them trying to bribe him into not getting them kicked out because they're extremely violating the lease

I should send these to my crazy roommate whenever she gets angry at me for locking the door while she's out doing whatever. As happened just yesterday

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:39

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# ? May 9, 2024 16:52

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Ooooh. I just woke up and have a killer sinus thing, my brain is not reading good. Apologies.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:41

Clawtopsy: Dec 17, 2009; What a fascinatingly unusual cock. Now, allow me to show you my collection...

e: wrong thread

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:43

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

bell jar posted:

that's a big ol yikes from me

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:48

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Sjs00 posted:

I should send these to my crazy roommate whenever she gets angry at me for locking the door while she's out doing whatever. As happened just yesterday

My craziest roommate was a dude who liked cleaning too much when I was in the military

You might think this is good, as did I, until he began unscrewing the lightbulbs so he could clean the inside of the connectors

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:53

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I [22M] didn't mind another guy [22M] jerking me off during sex with my girlfriend [19F]

Just a bro helping another bro out in a moment of weakness

# ? Apr 18, 2019 15:54

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Deaf lady renting a room at her parentshouse

Beachcomber posted:

Did she say where? $600 would get you the bottom half of a bunk in the bay area.

She said SoCal, so not as bad as the Bay area but still pricey in areas.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:08

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Blade Runner posted:

My craziest roommate was a dude who liked cleaning too much when I was in the military

You might think this is good, as did I, until he began unscrewing the lightbulbs so he could clean the inside of the connectors

You sure he wasn't using the light bulbs to smoke meth?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:10

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

How many meth addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:15

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Pope Corky the IX posted:

How many meth addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but I don't know how they got in there.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:16

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Pope Corky the IX posted:

How many meth addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Excuse me the correct term is "methican Americans"

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Don't make fun of people with speech impediments.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:22

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Blade Runner posted:

My craziest roommate was a dude who liked cleaning too much when I was in the military

You might think this is good, as did I, until he began unscrewing the lightbulbs so he could clean the inside of the connectors

That's crazy enough that I'd say you were lucky he didn't try to clean out the inside of your skull.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:23

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Blade Runner posted:

My craziest roommate was a dude who liked cleaning too much when I was in the military

You might think this is good, as did I, until he began unscrewing the lightbulbs so he could clean the inside of the connectors

can I hire this person to clean my apartment?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:39

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

I [31f] said to my husband [30m] that I wouldn't have moved countries for him like he did for me, and it hurt him. What should I do now?

quote:

We have been married 2 years. We were together 4 years before that, and on the third year we moved to another country because of my work. I asked him if he was willing to make that sacrifice (leave his job, go into an English speaking country knowing I was more fluent than he was, start basically from scratch) knowing there was a chance he'd say he wasn't and we would be over.

But he was and he spent around a year unemployed (legally unable to work) then 3 months working low level jobs while looking for a job in his field until he finally started working again. During that time he was almost entirely reliant on me. It put some pressure on us but we worked things out and I can say I am happy to be with him and I'm glad he took the chance, and my life is so much richer with him.

But I don't think I could have done the same, and he was hurt when I told him that. We were in bed talking very pleasantly and we started talking about when we moved and what an crazy ride it has been. He asked if I would have taken the chance with him if the roles had been reversed, and I said I don't think I would have.

I replied very quickly after he asked because it is something I have thought of several times and I think he was taken aback by the tone I used. His expression changed and he asked me why. I said that I don't think I could have started from scratch for anyone else in a situation like this.

He asked me what I would have done if the roles were reversed and I told him if I had been in such a stable position as he was in our case I would have stayed home and we would have broken up. He said "drat, you are straightforward" and I could see that he was very hurt. He said that it was good to know that I had my priorities clear but it made him feel like I wasn't as willing to make sacrifices as he was. He asked "are you?" and I didn't say anything because I knew that if I said yes, then I'd be lying, based on what I had just said.

We didn't speak to each other for a while. He went out, walked around, then came back. I spooned him from behind in bed but he didn't really reciprocated, he just fell asleep.

It's been very cold for us since that moment (Sunday night). He is civil and we talk about the regular responsibilities, but there's been no intimacy of any kind. We haven't kissed, or talked or touched intimately. I tried to talk to him just now and he said he wasn't ready yet, he needed more to think and feel.

I feel terrible that what I said hurt him so much, but also I wanted to be totally honest with him. I probably never would have told him if he hadn't asked, though. I fear this hurt him deeper than I am aware of and it will be a problem for us.

What should I do now? Was I "too honest"? Should I have sugar coated it in any way? Should I have lied to spare him of hurt feelings?

tl;dr: My husband asked if I would have made the sacrifices he made when moving countries, and I said I didn't think I would have done it for him or anyone. He is very hurt but said he wasn't ready to talk yet. What should I do now? Did I do something wrong? How should I handle it from now on?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I [31f] said to my husband [30m] that I wouldn't have moved countries for him like he did for me, and it hurt him. What should I do now?

And you are married to each other, you say?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:58

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I [31f] said to my husband [30m] that I wouldn't have moved countries for him like he did for me, and it hurt him. What should I do now?

I hope he takes everything in the divorce.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:00

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I [31f] said to my husband [30m] that I wouldn't have moved countries for him like he did for me, and it hurt him. What should I do now?

God drat that's cold as poo poo

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:01

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Doc Hawkins posted:

That's crazy enough that I'd say you were lucky he didn't try to clean out the inside of your skull.

Renegret posted:

can I hire this person to clean my apartment?

He was just a weird guy in general, honestly

He used to eat breakfast cereal with water, like he'd pour water into it instead of milk, and it made me feel like I was watching something inherently wrong

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:02

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I once ran out of milk and instead used orange juice in my Frosted Flakes and I'm still gagging.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:04

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Blade Runner posted:

He was just a weird guy in general, honestly

He used to eat breakfast cereal with water, like he'd pour water into it instead of milk, and it made me feel like I was watching something inherently wrong

Doc Hawkins posted:

That's crazy enough that I'd say you were lucky he didn't try to clean out the inside of your skull.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:04

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I once ran out of milk and instead used orange juice in my Frosted Flakes and I'm still gagging.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C19MdWxcEfI

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:08

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Blade Runner posted:

He used to eat breakfast cereal with water, like he'd pour water into it instead of milk, and it made me feel like I was watching something inherently wrong

my ex used to do this

there's a reason she's my ex

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:16

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I�d rather eat fistfuls of dry cereal than attempt it with water.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:17

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Girlfriend of 4 years cheats on me at a restaurant, sees me there and then throws the drink at me and calls me a loving loser in front of 30 people.

quote:

I feel like a piece of poo poo. Here's how it went down. It was the morning and everything was going good. I went to work she went to work.

We both get home and she tells me she is going out with some friends. I was completely fine with that because I do that quite frequently too. She tells me one of her friends is going to pick her up. This is where it gets a little fishy. I look over her shoulder is she is frantically texting someone. When she sees me look over she puts her phone down immediately and tells me to mind my own business.

I knew something was up. So I tell her sorry and then I go upstairs. I'm upstairs looking out the window seeing who is going to pick her up.

When the car pulls into our driveway I see that its a guy. He's in his 20's like me, good looking and I was pretty scared because this dude had a really good chance to be with her. I open the window and say "What the hell are you doing?" My girlfriend says "That's my brother, he's a little psycho." Before I say anything else they drive off. I was not happy. I knew what restaurant they were going to because she went to the same one everytime.

I get in the car, drive to the restaurant and see her and the guy sitting down. I confront my gf and ask her who this guy is. She confirms to me that she cheated on me for 3 years and didn't care. This is where it gets terrible. I ask her why she would do this and she said "because I can" She gets up from her chair and says "I don't date loving losers like you." Gets her strawberry lemonade, throws the whole thing at me. Everyone is looking and a few kids start laughing. The guy calls me a little bitch and then my gf kicks me in the shin. I'm sitting there with a bunch of people looking at me on the ground soaking wet. I leave the restaurant and go to the car. I'm wondering if I should go back in but I dont. I drive home instead.

I pack up her things and put them in front of the house. When she comes back she says "No, you're leaving. This is me and my boyfriends house." I lose it. I tell her to leave because I was the one paying and she wasn't. She leaves and says "Me and my boyfriend will be back tomorrow, this house is ours."

I had true feelings for this girl and she ruined everything. Its the morning time and I am waiting to see what she does. Pray that she doesn't burn my house down.

TL;DR Guy comes to house to pick up girlfriend, I yell at them and they drive off, Go to restaurant and find them there, Gf throws lemonade in face in front of 30 people and calls me a loving loser, guy calls me a loving bitch, I go back home and pack up her things, she refuses to leave, eventually does but says something is in store for me tomorrow.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:37

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

as usual chad gets the girl. loving chad

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:45

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

DemoneeHo posted:

Girlfriend of 4 years cheats on me at a restaurant, sees me there and then throws the drink at me and calls me a loving loser in front of 30 people.

wow this is what relationships with 3d girls are really like... makes you think...

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:47

Harrow: Jun 30, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

Girlfriend of 4 years cheats on me at a restaurant, sees me there and then throws the drink at me and calls me a loving loser in front of 30 people.

And that man...

...was Albert Einstein

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:48

Bronze Fonz: Feb 14, 2019

The TL;DR left out the part that she refers to the other guy as "boyfriend", but I guess at this point this is fairly moot.

4 years together, 3 years cheating.

Yeah, I think I would go postal.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:49

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

It�s a rather fake story.

They didn�t even really try and make it believable is the sad part.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:51

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

new Tommy Wiseau movie looking good

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:55

Tired Moritz: Mar 25, 2012; wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

_{_{(n o i c e)}}

considering that I cant find it at all, I assume that even redditors knew it was fake.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:58

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

CharlestheHammer posted:

It’s a rather fake story.

They didn’t even really try and make it believable is the sad part.

That's enough pro Chad propaganda thank you

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:58

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Pope Corky the IX posted:

How many meth addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Excuse me the correct term is "methican Americans"

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Don't make fun of people with speech impediments.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:01

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

I don�t think I�ve met anyone in my life who�s had a successful & heathy relationship who identifies as polyamorous.

I mean, there�s a term for polyamory: �being single and fuckin� people� which is totally cool. Not cool to act like wanting to gently caress other people is the same as LGBTQ people�s struggles. Also not cool to be a pedophile. Also also not cool to surprise your monogamous partner with �polyamory� and then manipulate them into staying in the relationship (that was started when one person was a literal child).

Fire that lady into the sun before her five year old gets victimized like that dude was.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:10

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

alright it's annoying when people call stories fake but that one about the cheating girlfriend is 100% made up

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:10

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Gone Fashing posted:

alright it's annoying when people call stories fake but that one about the cheating girlfriend is 100% made up

Yeah it was eye rollingly bad.

Like come on at least try!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:12

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

I dunno, I'm not so sure. If the OP had been nuclear pissed from moment one, yeah, I'd be agreeing that it sounds like incel fanfic, but he comes off as more confused and stunned by the whole situation as if he genuinely doesn't expect that kind of thing. It took nearly being homeless to make him actually angry and not just going :stare:

at the whole thing. Incel types won't see that and feel validated, they'll see that and see an opportunity to proselytize.

I've met awful enough people that, pending an actual smoking gun in the "fake" direction, I'm inclined to give stories about someone being staggeringly horrible the benefit of the doubt.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:15

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Of course he�s confused at first, being angry off the bat undermines the plucky hero thing he is going for

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:17

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# ? May 9, 2024 16:52

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

lmao, rekt, nerd

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:22

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