GOT: Stick them with the disappointy end

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GOT: Stick them with the disappointy end

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

Are all the undead Starks really going to rise up and kill everyone in the crypts? Is this why Arya is running in the previews all panicked like, did she have to put someone down like Rob or Rickon?

Aren't most of them skeletons anyway?

gently caress this show.

It doesn't even make any sense. It's not like they are putting peasants in there, it's only the Lord of Winterfell's immediate family. There has to be maybe 15 viable corpses tops in there, assuming they all turn in to worm food.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:34

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# ? May 16, 2024 11:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

ElGroucho posted:

It doesn't even make any sense. It's not like they are putting peasants in there, it's only the Lord of Winterfell's immediate family. There has to be maybe 15 viable corpses tops in there, assuming they all turn in to worm food.

And they are presumably buried under massive slabs of stone.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:35

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

Seemed like some things happened this episode:
-Jaime is accepted at Winterfell despite Daeneyrs's objections because Brienne and others vouch for him
-In preparations for the siege, they agree to use Bran as bait for the Night King
-Theon returns to Winterfell and pledges to fight for them
-Brienne is knighted
-Arya and Gendry gently caress
-Jon tells Daenerys his ancestry

Yes, I reasonably believe these events occurred.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:43

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

ElGroucho posted:

It doesn't even make any sense. It's not like they are putting peasants in there, it's only the Lord of Winterfell's immediate family. There has to be maybe 15 viable corpses tops in there, assuming they all turn in to worm food.

beyond a certain latitude/altitude every corpse ever buried since the last winter might still be viable if it wasn't dug up at some point by animals

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:47

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

I'm just thinking about how every time Arya touches a weapon now she has to spin it around to show off her mad ninja skills but it's so drat stupid and cringey.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:52

FogHelmut: Dec 18, 2003

oh dope posted:

I'm just thinking about how every time Arya touches a weapon now she has to spin it around to show off her mad ninja skills but it's so drat stupid and cringey.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:54

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

so Arya just needed some magic kingsjizz for some death magic, right?

# ? Apr 22, 2019 18:56

Tinfoil Papercut: Jul 27, 2016; by Athanatos

Martman posted:

so Arya just needed some magic kingsjizz for some death magic, right?

This would be a good twist so no.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:05

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

steinrokkan posted:

Skeletons are valuable stealth assassins

The moment where a Game of Thrones scene was inexplicably replaced with a Skyrim random encounter.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:27

Damo: Nov 8, 2002; The second-generation Pontiac Sunbird, introduced by the automaker for the 1982 model year as the J2000, was built to be an inexpensive and fuel-efficient front-wheel-drive commuter car capable of seating five.; Offensive Clock

dickon

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:29

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Knight posted:

Seemed like some things happened this episode:
-Jaime is accepted at Winterfell despite Daeneyrs's objections because Brienne and others vouch for him
-In preparations for the siege, they agree to use Bran as bait for the Night King
-Theon returns to Winterfell and pledges to fight for them
-Brienne is knighted
-Arya and Gendry gently caress
-Jon tells Daenerys his ancestry

Yes, I reasonably believe these events occurred.

That must have been 30 mins tops! What happened in the rest of this, no doubt, well paced episode??

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:41

Armacham: Mar 3, 2007; Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

steinrokkan posted:

It happened in real life as well, e.g. Henry the Young King was knighted by William Marshal. It was usual that knighthood was granted by king directly, but it depended on time, place, and situation.

facebook jihad posted:

Yeah I want to be like "that's some total bullshit" but maybe they can in their world. Who knows. It still sucks.

Yeah it depends on the specific historical period, but in general someone can be knighted by a King, Duke, or other Lord, another knight, or by religious leaders like Bishops, Cardinals, and Pontiffs.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:47

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

Remember when the battle of the Blackwater had buildup, character moments, and the entire battle in a single episode?

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:48

superjew: Sep 5, 2007; No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

My wife kept half covering her eyes thinking someone was going to die in every scene. She thought a crossbow bolt would fly out of nowhere and brain Jamie/Tyrion, or Arya would kill someone, or Gendry would be Jaqun and kill Arya.

But the writers aren't that jazzy, they're literally smacking the characters together like action figures in all permutations. Ending it with ~~Pippin~~ Podrick singing ~~Edge of Night~~ Jenny's ~~Mom~~ Song was truly original.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:51

Doctor Faustine: Sep 2, 2018

Arcsquad12 posted:

Remember when the battle of the Blackwater had buildup, character moments, and the entire battle in a single episode?

Yes, I remember when the show was good.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:55

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

superjew posted:

My wife kept half covering her eyes thinking someone was going to die in every scene. She thought a crossbow bolt would fly out of nowhere and brain Jamie/Tyrion, or Arya would kill someone, or Gendry would be Jaqun and kill Arya.

I was anticipating this when Brienne got knighted. She was so happy *SCHLUCK* bolt to the head because no one�s allowed to be happy in the Game of Thrones.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 19:56

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

At least someone will finally die next week.

They gotsa kill a lot of people in a short amount of time, though. I think they love the characters too much and are afraid to do anything with them.

Also, this last episode felt kinda like a denouement but in reverse. I know they can't do the same sort of thing after things are resolved because some people will be dead, but just saying. And it's obvious the last episode is going to be heavy on people talking and hugging. Which means there are 3 episodes of any meaning left. And the middle one will probably be more hugging.

So maybe two good episodes? Good = death. A great episode would be the writers jumping off the golden gate bridge.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:00

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

Glenn Quebec posted:

That must have been 30 mins tops! What happened in the rest of this, no doubt, well paced episode??

Concerned glares and a montage.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:00

superjew: Sep 5, 2007; No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

I was anticipating this when Brienne got knighted. She was so happy *SCHLUCK* bolt to the head because no one�s allowed to be happy in the Game of Thrones.

Admittedly I bought into the "Bronn showing up and killing someone" idea because I have no reason to believe he couldn't make it there in time in this flimsy space-time continuum containing zombie dragons.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:00

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

I�m really not trying to be a dick here because I agree the writing is.. difficult but we all had to know there would be two or three talking episodes this season. If there�s more than that we mutiny though.

The episode length goes up from here I think which could be good or bad but I think it�s encouraging.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:03

Away all Goats: Jul 5, 2005; Goose's rebellion

Brienne getting knighted was a nice scene :unsmith:

Which means she's probably gonna die

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:06

font color sea: Jan 23, 2017; Expelliarmus!

I hope we actually get undead headless Ned Stark, because that would be the best thing about this stupid show (other than poop ending)

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:11

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Waltzing Along posted:

At least someone will finally die next week.

They gotsa kill a lot of people in a short amount of time, though. I think they love the characters too much and are afraid to do anything with them.

Also, this last episode felt kinda like a denouement but in reverse. I know they can't do the same sort of thing after things are resolved because some people will be dead, but just saying. And it's obvious the last episode is going to be heavy on people talking and hugging. Which means there are 3 episodes of any meaning left. And the middle one will probably be more hugging.

So maybe two good episodes? Good = death. A great episode would be the writers jumping off the golden gate bridge.

On a totally unrelated note, Miguel Sapochnik (director of eps like Hardhome and Winds of Winter) is credited as the director of episodes 3 and 5 of this season.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:13

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

shout out to my main dude, Wholesome Tormund.

my gf and i both cackled when he asked "YO WHERE THAT BIG BITCH AT?" and later gave her the standing O after she got knighted

e:also shout to to Arya's secret cake

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:19

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

On a totally unrelated note, Miguel Sapochnik (director of eps like Hardhome and Winds of Winter) is credited as the director of episodes 3 and 5 of this season.

yeah i figured 3 and 5 would be the straight up battle scene ones

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:21

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

My worthless opinions that I will spoil for safety�s sake

1. The Night King will resurrect the undead in the crypts and with my hope being it will be a scene out of something like Aliens. �They�re already inside the walls!!� �Game over Man!� �I say we nuke Winterfell from orbit, it�s the only way to be sure. Get the Dragons�

2. Arya should be the one to kill the Mountain after The Hound and Mountain have an epic fight that the Mountain either wins or is about to.

3. The Dragons should face off and the undead one and a living one should both die having killed each other leaving one behind or they say gently caress it join forces and kill everyone and fly into the sunset.

4. Brienne should kill converted Jamie who takes an undead to the neck for her. Cersi should be offed by the Night King and in return her allies go �Nope.� And leave, John Snow dies fighting when he is betrayed by Danerys. Theon dies in noble fashion saving everyone. Danerys is assassinated by Sansa who sits on the throne with Arya as her right hand woman because nearly everyone else dies.. Badass little girl who told everyone to gently caress off and she�ll fight destroys hordes of White Walkers and offs the Night King riding one of the living dragons into battle. The whole story was narrated by Tyrion who at the end dies exactly as he had hoped, with a whore on his cock, drunk as hell.

5. Tormund and Brienne ride off into the sunset and raise giant children to rule the world in the sequel.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:29

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

The night king is actually cool & good, and wants to bring full communism to westeros.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:31

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Gatts posted:

worthless

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:32

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

The whole show is actually bullshit revisionism.

# ? Apr 22, 2019 20:32

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Gatts posted:

My worthless opinions that I will spoil for safety’s sake

1. The Night King will resurrect the undead in the crypts and with my hope being it will be a scene out of something like Aliens. “They’re already inside the walls!!” “Game over Man!” “I say we nuke Winterfell from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. Get the Dragons”

2. Arya should be the one to kill the Mountain after The Hound and Mountain have an epic fight that the Mountain either wins or is about to.

3. The Dragons should face off and the undead one and a living one should both die having killed each other leaving one behind or they say gently caress it join forces and kill everyone and fly into the sunset.

4. Brienne should kill converted Jamie who takes an undead to the neck for her. Cersi should be offed by the Night King and in return her allies go “Nope.” And leave, John Snow dies fighting when he is betrayed by Danerys. Theon dies in noble fashion saving everyone. Danerys is assassinated by Sansa who sits on the throne with Arya as her right hand woman because nearly everyone else dies.. Badass little girl who told everyone to gently caress off and she’ll fight destroys hordes of White Walkers and offs the Night King riding one of the living dragons into battle. The whole story was narrated by Tyrion who at the end dies exactly as he had hoped, with a whore on his cock, drunk as hell.

5. Tormund and Brienne ride off into the sunset and raise giant children to rule the world in the sequel.