/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Araenna posted:

Psychosis can definitely be a symptom of bipolar. I get delusions and sometimes hallucinations when I'm manic. Hell, I get delusions when I'm not manic. When you're psychotic, you're going to have problems being rational about your delusions. Especially when people close to you that you trust back you up on it, like his son is.

keep in mind the statement i am relaying is coming from someone who, when we were watching Ghost World one time as she was getting over an especially bad manic episode, thought a lawyer-friendly cover of Master of Puppets playing in one scene was a sign the government was watching her through her laptop screen.

even someone who knows bipolar to that extent is saying something smells here.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 00:10

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

can we stop talking about poo poo eating and start poo poo posting?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:15

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Tythas posted:

My (26M) fiance (25F) told me about her ex's "size" and I feel heartbroken

Unless dude asked, bringing that up was an unforced error.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:15

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

i can't even imagine how terrible it must be to not have the biggest dick in the world

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:17

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Resting Lich Face posted:

Yeah but Hugh is on a similar level of lovely lame name as Bert.

I summon Pick to the thread

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:18

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

i can't even imagine how terrible it must be to not have the biggest dick in the world

Presumably he takes it out of your rear end once in a while? Probably like that.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:19

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Tythas posted:

My (26M) fiance (25F) told me about her ex's "size" and I feel heartbroken

Oh my god who the hell cares. loving idiot this guy.

therobit posted:

Unless dude asked, bringing that up was an unforced error.

Considering how loving insecure he is about it he probably asked if he's the biggest she's had or something lame like that.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:21

Olympic Mathlete: Feb 25, 2011

Pick posted:

looking for 5'4" natural redhead with a rose-scented flutter clam

(I'm wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the thread. This is Dec 2016. See you guys later).

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:27

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Guys care. Their whole identity is wrapped up in their dick, hence dick pics. I wonder if the financee is trying to tank the relationship though. I have a hard time believing anyone is so willfully dense as to offer unsolicited negative comparisons to an ex without realizing it would be super hurtful.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:28

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

Wondering if I (F28) made a mistake ending my relationship over his ex.

quote:

So last week I ended my relationship with my boyfriend (M31), let�s call him John, due to issues with his ex-wife. Long story short, he married her when she found out she was pregnant, but their marriage was very unhappy due to her controlling and jealous nature and so they ended things.

Our relationship was going great, he has a 3yr old son who is an awesome little guy and he has shared custody of him. We fell in love, we talked about marriage and starting our own family. But there is always some kind of drama happening with his ex that John has to deal with. He is constantly walking on egg shells, trying not to do anything that might upset his ex. He�s always getting angry texts and phone calls, that he has to respond to when we are spending time together. The final straw for me was when she started an argument with him about me losing my father last month.

I ended the relationship because I felt like the dramas aren�t going to get better as their child gets older, in fact i felt it would only get worse if we had our own children. But I�m devastated, I miss him and I�m starting to feel like I�ve made a huge mistake by ending things. What do you guys think, reddit? I guess I just wanted some other people�s perspectives or advice.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:28

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

i can't even imagine how terrible it must be to not have the biggest dick in the world

Yeah that must suck. Hey wait a minute.. :thunk:

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:30

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Dazerbeams posted:

Guys care. Their whole identity is wrapped up in their dick, hence dick pics. I wonder if the financee is trying to tank the relationship though. I have a hard time believing anyone is so willfully dense as to offer unsolicited negative comparisons to an ex without realizing it would be super hurtful.

I honestly will never understand how people take the darn things so seriously. 5-10 year olds have the truth of it: they're floppy, goofy and downright ridiculous.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:32

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Dazerbeams posted:

Guys care. Their whole identity is wrapped up in their dick, hence dick pics. I wonder if the financee is trying to tank the relationship though. I have a hard time believing anyone is so willfully dense as to offer unsolicited negative comparisons to an ex without realizing it would be super hurtful.

Dude I loving guarantee he asked.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:33

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

You would be surprised how many men ask during sex, like they think that's fun dirty talk. It's not fun and it has no winners, I still haven't figured out a good answer

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:40

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Resting Lich Face posted:

Dude I loving guarantee he asked.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:42

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I guess I've underestimated just how stupid men can be.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:47

Best Bi Geek Squid: Mar 25, 2016

Anne Whateley posted:

You would be surprised how many men ask during sex, like they think that's fun dirty talk. It's not fun and it has no winners, I still haven't figured out a good answer

just smile and say that it fits the type of guy he is perfectly

e: also, can't beat a short, hearty laugh for simplicity

Best Bi Geek Squid fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Apr 25, 2019

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:53

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Tythas posted:

Wondering if I (F28) made a mistake ending my relationship over his ex.

lovely situation, but if the guy you're dating doesn't have the back bone to establish boundaries with his ex then that's always going to be a huge problem.

I had a friend who got a girl pregnant at like 17 so they would always be linked by their kid, but she was loving nuts and awful and scared off other potential girlfriends over the years as she loved to just show up and start screaming about this or that. Eventually he met someone very nice but he also had to learn ways to establish extremely firm boundaries with his ex. Yes, it made some short-term flare ups in drama, police were involved, but in the long term he cut a major source of drama mostly from his life and most importantly protected his current wife from all that.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:54

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Anne Whateley posted:

You would be surprised how many men ask during sex, like they think that's fun dirty talk. It's not fun and it has no winners, I still haven't figured out a good answer

Just say "I can't be sure, I have a slight astigmatism which makes spatial perception more difficult"

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:56

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Dazerbeams posted:

I guess I've underestimated just how stupid men can be.

"Do I look fat?"

Anne Whateley posted:

You would be surprised how many men ask during sex, like they think that's fun dirty talk. It's not fun and it has no winners, I still haven't figured out a good answer

"You 'feel' like the biggest", or just lie and say yes. Personally, I asked my wife to not say I'm big, because it takes me right out of things, as I know I'm average.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:57

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Dazerbeams posted:

I guess I've underestimated just how stupid men can be.

if you need a refresher you can go through my posting history

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:57

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I [35M] cannot cope with father-in-law's sudden demand for money

quote:

Me and my father-in-law enjoy a good relationship; things got better since the gay nightclub incident mentioned a few years ago.

However, over the past few weeks, my father-in-law's been WhatsApp'ing and texting me constantly, saying how he owes:

£3,600 to a woman in Florida

£8,000 to a man in Amsterdam

£30,000 to a man in Tokyo

£15,000 to a man in Dublin

£4,500 to a man in NYC

£6,000 to a man in Ibiza

and they all want the money pretty quick.

He also said:

(Mother-in-law's name) doesn't know these people!

I've told him I'm not here to help with money, and to speak to a Citizens Advice Bureau, but he's insistent that I help him.

My father-in-law is also demanding we go into the U.S Embassy, Dutch Embassy and Swedish Embassy in London as a prank and fly-tip in there as a "joke" (my father-in-law has suddenly become very into fly-tipping, especially with food).

He won't tell me why he owes so much or how, but insists I keep it secret from my wife, my mother-in-law and said these people are demanding it in cash from him.

Me and my wife have no secrets; she seemed to handle the gay club thing OK, and my father-in-law felt suitably embarrassed at the time.

My father-in-law wants me to get a loan of £4,000 to pay off this woman in Florida. I told him "NO" and he insisted:

He said I should meet him in a McDonald's and give him the cash there and then.

Look, you gotta help me. I helped YOU with that big project of renovating the house.

I've already told him no, told him it makes me uncomfortable but he's insistent.

I have to tell my wife, but I worry she won't believe me on this. Not that I should hide it from her, but I'm worried.

My father-in-law said if I told mother-in-law about this that me and my wife could not bring the kids to see him.

What's with this sudden personality change and owing money?

I'm wondering if he's got dementia or something else.

I'm at a loss. Need help.

tl;dr: Father-in-law owes money and expects me to foot the bill, even though I said NO.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:05

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Beachcomber posted:

I [35M] cannot cope with father-in-law's sudden demand for money

A lot going on here.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:07

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

For pants pooper/poop eater guy, I actually think the trip may be beneficial. There are a lot of factors, and it's impossible to predict, but recovery from schizophrenia is higher in less developed countries. Obviously, there's going to be a difference between a local in SE Asia or LatAm or wherever, and a visiting missionary, but clearly the guy isn't thriving in the US or wherever he is right now.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:15

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Beachcomber posted:

I [35M] cannot cope with father-in-law's sudden demand for money

The rare case where you hope it is some kind of psychosis.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:15

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Gambling? Blackmail? What the gently caress's going on. And a sudden interest in fly-tipping as if it was some sort of hobby?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:16

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Resting Lich Face posted:

Dude I loving guarantee he asked.

Either she's super callous, or he harassed her about it so much she flipped, but you never ever say that you preferred the ex's body but settled no matter how true it is.

Knowing these stories, chances are sure probably said it specifically to hurt him because he was being annoying as hell about it

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:18

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I had to Google fly tipping

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:19

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

TIFU by wearing the wrong underwear to my kids field trip.

quote:

Everything is in the TL;DR.

This happened yesterday but I�m feeling the repercussions today.

It started with me getting dressed and just throwing on lace underwear vs cotton. I was just staying home all day so it wasn�t a big deal because after my kid leaves for school I walk around naked anyways.

My kid reminds me that I have volunteered for his field trip and here�s a list of kids that I would be watching.

I forgot so... poo poo! I don�t have a lunch for him or I so I threw jeans on to go run to get a lunch. I figured I could change when I got back no biggie. However... My husband text me asking for me to get some things from the store that had to be picked up immediately.

I had no time to change and made it to the field trip 10 min late. Fine, it�s fine. I�ll be ok. It�s 75degrees, I�m in jeans, lace undies, vagina freshly shaved from the night before. I didn�t think much of it.

There�s a lot of walking on this field trip though. I�m keeping up with the 8-9 year olds and I feel my underwear pull up between the lips of my vagina. So half my vagina is rubbing the lace and jeans while I walk.

I can�t fix it at any point and at this age I couldn�t just adjust and lie about tucking in my shirt etc. This is the age boobs and �lady parts� are a big deal.

*i did adjust at one point but my lady meat just fell out right away.

So for three hours my vagina is rubbing against uncomfortable fabric. It�s hot so my natural discharge and sweat are making it worse. I can�t adjust because the bathrooms are too far away for me to leave the kids and NONE of the little terds had to go!

I got home and half my vagina was rubbed raw. My husband said it looked swollen or like a big ingrown hair was forming.

Tl;dr- I shaved my vagina so had no hair buffer when my lady meat fell out of lace undies and chaffed during a three hour walk-a-thon field trip. My vagina lips are swollen and it hurts to be a functioning human.

I feel like this was typed one-handed.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:19

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Beachcomber posted:

I [35M] cannot cope with father-in-law's sudden demand for money

I wonder if it has anything to do with the gay nightclub incident OP mentions, which i'm gonna share here:

I [32M], newlywed and having a problem with my father-in-law [58M] which is causing conflict between me and him. Explanation in text.

quote:

I'm 32, newlywed, live in London, been married for a month to Jane now. Our marriage is good, for the most part. But the issue here isn't me and my wife, it's my father-in-law Me and my father-in-law have got on well, found out we had common interests; wines, wine-tasting, golf, sports, F1, comedy etc. and socialised a fair bit. We socialise a bit, go to a few events around London, and get on pretty well.

The issue, however, is what he wants me to do next weekend. On Wednesday night he phoned me up on the mobile and asked me to meet him in a local park (where he was out walking the dog), I said yes and met him there, he said he had something he wanted to talk about. I asked him what it was, and he said it'd have to wait till I got there.

I met him the same day, asked him what it was that was so important, he said to me, he wanted to go to G-A-Y or Heaven gay nightclubs with me, wanted us to pose as a gay couple to get in, said he'd read online Heaven only allows gays, said it'd be "a hoot, a great night out". I told him no, I felt uncomfortable with it but he was insistent we had to do it. He said he was going to lie to his wife (my mother-in-law) that we were going the pub (as we do some weekend, out "guys night out") and said I should lie to my wife about it. He said "I'm not taking no for an answer, this is something all guys have got to do in their lifetime, it's a blag, good fun too, cheap drinks" then began laughing to me, told me he'd bought a cheap bright vest top specifically for wearing to the club (some sort of dayglo coloured one he said) and he expected me to dress the same, said he wanted us to present as "the campest camp couple". How can he ask me to do this and think it's a good idea?

I told him no but he was insistent we should do it and it's making me question our friendship. I don't understand his motivation for doing this and am worrying where our friendship is going or if it's even stll there,. It's not the gay club aspect that's the issue, but the fact he wants use to pose as a gay couple to get in, isn't that a bit low?

I haven't told my wife about this, out of embarrassment and concern and feel really worried and embarrassed over the whole thing.

Is there anything I can/should/need to do, and what do I do next? I need some perspective and opinions before things go wrong.

tl;dr: Newlywed having issues with father-in-law, now he wants me to lie to my wife about where we're going, WON'T accept no for answer and I'm getting upset.

Okay, that doesn't clear anything up.

DemoneeHo fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Apr 25, 2019

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:20

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

WIBTA if I uninvited a friend on a trip after finding out he has feelings for me?

quote:

Just an fyi: we are both guys and are both 22.

So me and my group of friends have all made plans to go stay at a cottage next month for a weekend. I�m the main planner of this but everyone is contributing equally financially.

There are six of us going, including one of my good friends �Ryan�. Ryan is gay and I�ve never ever had a a problem with that. I barely ever think about it.

Ryan and one of my other friends �Rachel� are really close and they hang out separately all the time.

Rachel and I and a few of our other friends (Ryan wasn�t there) went out for drinks last weekend and we were all a little drunk by the end of the night.

At one point Rachel takes me to the side and says that she needs to tell me something. She said that Ryan confessed to her that he is starting to have serious almost love like feelings for me. She said that he is really distraught about it because I�m straight and he knows I�ll never reciprocate his feelings. She made me promise not to let on that I know.

To be honest I�m kind of freaked out by it. I don�t know if I�m comfortable having somebody there at the cottage who has such strong feelings for me. I�m considering asking him not to come on the trip. I would cover his portion of the cottage myself.

I feel like because I am the one organizing it that I should be able to decide who I want there or not. Obviously I would talk to him about this and emphasize that maybe it�s best for both of us if we spend some time apart so he can work through his feelings for me.

So WIBTA if I uninvited him?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:21

Harveygod: Jan 4, 2014; YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

Beachcomber posted:

I [35M] cannot cope with father-in-law's sudden demand for money

quote:
things got better since the gay nightclub incident mentioned a few years ago.

This needs some elaboration.

Also what the gently caress is fly-tipping?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:23

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Can't wait until manic dad publishes his new book: From Couch to 10K to Human Toilet

Harveygod posted:

Also what the gently caress is fly-tipping?

Dumping garbage illegally.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:24

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Harveygod posted:

This needs some elaboration.

Also what the gently caress is fly-tipping?

Illegally dumping trash somewhere it does not belong in quantities that are beyond littering. I had to look it up too.

E: Beaten

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:26

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Miserable Maid posted:

Either she's super callous, or he harassed her about it so much she flipped, but you never ever say that you preferred the ex's body but settled no matter how true it is

Did she even say she preferred it?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:27

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Leon Einstein posted:

Did she even say she preferred it?

She said bigger is better, but she loves OP.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:30

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

zakharov posted:

I had to Google fly tipping

What a lovely thing to do. :commissar:

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:30

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Beachcomber posted:

�3,600 to a woman in Florida

�8,000 to a man in Amsterdam

�30,000 to a man in Tokyo

�15,000 to a man in Dublin

�4,500 to a man in NYC

�6,000 to a man in Ibiza

Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:30

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

My dogs name is Banjo

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 00:10

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

DemoneeHo posted:

WIBTA if I uninvited a friend on a trip after finding out he has feelings for me?

Wow the girl is a complete 100% loving gendered insult for doing that to that guy. What was she intending to do by completely betraying the (gay) friend's trust and telling him that? She's no friend. IMO kick her stupid loose-lipped rear end out instead. That poo poo should have never been brought up by anyone else other than the guy himself. How embarrassing and what a stupid loving thing to do to cause a rift between friends.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 20:34

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »