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the whole rancor scene in ROTJ was supposed to be a 5-minutes-in-heaven deal but Luke totally misunderstood
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Apr 25, 2019 19:19
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Han shat first, tbqh.
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Apr 25, 2019 19:28
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I wanna see a prequel film about that rancor keeper guy he seemed like a swell dude.
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Apr 25, 2019 21:08
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Colonel Cancer posted:I wanna see a prequel film about that rancor keeper guy he seemed like a swell dude. Would you be interested in starring in one?
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Apr 25, 2019 22:51
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Colonel Cancer posted:I wanna see a prequel film about that rancor keeper guy he seemed like a swell dude. They actually flesh out his backstory in tales from Jabba’s palace. Just one more payment and the rancor would’ve been all his! (Not really but that’s basically gist of it)
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Apr 25, 2019 23:57
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Xtra Innings Lovin posted:They actually flesh out his backstory in tales from Jabba’s palace. Just one more payment and the rancor would’ve been all his! (Not really but that’s basically gist of it) Yeah i think I heard that. Ive managed to avoid star wars literature for the most part though. Did pick up a Tarkin book at a dumpster last year, it was about as good as you'd expect. Big Beef City posted:Would you be interested in starring in one? Only if I get to be the rancor.
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Apr 26, 2019 00:00
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Sorry the part of the rancor is already taken by  my wife who is the perfect fit since even shoving my giant bone in her mouth won't stop her from biting my head off hah right? this guy knows what I'm talking about
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Apr 26, 2019 00:13
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Murray Mantoinette posted:Sorry the part of the rancor is already taken by 
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Apr 26, 2019 00:20
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KillerJunglist posted:Or you could smoke it through a special long pipe known as a "pole". 
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Apr 26, 2019 00:55
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staberind posted:its because they don't have access to chris cunningham, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmqDZLt0ZEc far far out
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Apr 26, 2019 08:03
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:That shouldn't be too difficult, I used to bullseye cumshots back home on Splatooine. I was going to do some editing to this. . . but it's already perfect in every way.  "Great cum-shot, kid! That was one in a million!"
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Apr 26, 2019 22:01
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i've watched 40 minutes of the last jedi so far and i can safely say its absolutely terrible just terrible awful
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Apr 27, 2019 02:21
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You know what truly is awful? your mom lmoa
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Apr 27, 2019 02:23
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RaySmuckles posted:i've watched 40 minutes of the last jedi so far and i can safely say its absolutely terrible Wait until they let the horses go. That makes it all worth it
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Apr 27, 2019 02:28
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Vim Fuego posted:Wait until they let the horses go. That makes it all worth it it did not, in fact, make any of this "worth it" in fact, it just gets worse and worse who allowed this movie to be made?
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Apr 27, 2019 02:57
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RaySmuckles posted:who allowed this movie to be made? This lady. . . who is apparently very proud of her breasts. 
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Apr 27, 2019 02:59
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these late night texting scenes are painful this whole movie is just awful
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Apr 27, 2019 03:01
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RaySmuckles posted:these late night texting scenes are painful I wish you'd filmed your expression while you were watching so I could enjoy someone learning to hate TLJ for the first time.
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Apr 27, 2019 03:13
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Vim Fuego posted:Wait until they let the horses go. That makes it all worth it no wait  now it's worth it
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Apr 27, 2019 03:21
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RaySmuckles posted:these late night texting scenes are painful THE SACRED TEXTS
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Apr 27, 2019 03:22
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I watched the last jedi on a plane. The flight was shorter than the movie so I still haven't seen the actual ending. I saw where luke is there but isn't there, I thought "okay, that's the end" but the movie didn't stop. Then we landed so I turned it off. The only part that sticks out to me at all was where maz katana was like "you guys need the best code breaker in the universe, I know where he is! He'll be wearing a pin!" I still think this is so loving stupid that the only description she can give is that he's got a pin on. I remember saying "what?!" Out loud because my wife got startled and was like "what, what?"
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Apr 27, 2019 03:24
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KillerJunglist posted:I watched the last jedi on a plane. The flight was shorter than the movie so I still haven't seen the actual ending. I saw where luke is there but isn't there, I thought "okay, that's the end" but the movie didn't stop. Then we landed so I turned it off. she was fighting a raging battle and described it as a "union dispute" as the owner of a business which side of that "union dispute" was she on and who was she killing? was she murdering exploited workers fighting for better living conditions? if so, lol Applewhite posted:I wish you'd filmed your expression while you were watching so I could enjoy someone learning to hate TLJ for the first time. its not the fun kind of bad. its just aggravatingly bad
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Apr 27, 2019 03:32
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That joke genuinely made me laugh because it’s so bald faced and comes out of loving nowhere. What happened to ugly blob head alien from the last movie? She’s motherfucking mowing down her striking employees with a rifle.
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Apr 27, 2019 03:36
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Sook Slimefucker.
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Apr 27, 2019 03:43
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RaySmuckles posted:she was fighting a raging battle and described it as a "union dispute" I didn't even realize that's what it was, I was only half paying attention and wrote it off as "dumb star wars lazer gun fight." Makes sense, Maz struck me like a jerk.
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Apr 27, 2019 03:50
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Is she gonna get on the space phone in the next movie and tell us how she got likes light saber?
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Apr 27, 2019 04:24
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Was there a single attempt at (intentional) humour that was actually funny?
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Apr 27, 2019 04:45
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that movie was absolute trash but i have to say, it found a tiny bit of its own footing by the end. part of it felt like it was a meta-narrative about "star wars" in the first place, what with the holy jedi texts and an emphasis on "letting go" and then a refocusing on "rebuilding the rebellion." but i wouldn't say any of that was good, and each time it started to do something interesting it quickly undid it like "oops, the jedi texts are actually here too" and luke dying anyway for no reason (lol) i guess the film put a major emphasis on "subverting expectation" but almost always did so in a way that was never satisfying or enjoyable. every step in the right direction was followed by one in the wrong. the movies seem irrevocably hamstrung by two things: 1) perpetually directly imitating the original trilogy. it always feels contrived and forced and i don't think it ever works. it robs the movies of their ability to ever do anything original or interesting. its too frequent and noticeable and feels cheap and uninspired. makes sense rian johnson seemed to focus so much on trying to cut that dead weight and try to start from scratch. the movie was trash in almost every way (looked pretty good), but if that was his intention then it was a good one. he either failed miserably at it or was never allowed to actually make it happen 2) the material plot. the first order was a terrible mistake. its existence robs the original trilogy of any meaning or value. they're way too strong and are never explained making them the most hollow "movie bad guys" i've ever come across. the new trilogy needed to ape the original so badly it had to keep the good guys as "the rebels" even though the whole point of the OT is that the rebels won and are presumably no longer "rebels" in the first place. the creators just couldn't let that go and move one. also, didn't the rebels just blow up the first order's superweapon/main base/home planet in the first movie? didn't they just kill all the bad guys? how the heck does "the first order reigns." how do they have all this stuff that is even better than the combined resources of the galactic empire? i get it, they're just "the empire all over again" but that's stupid as hell and even stupider that they're "the empire but bigger and stronger" with no explanation. at least the word "empire" did a poo poo load of heavy lifting for the audience. "first order" doesn't do poo poo. "who cares, they're just the baddies" is a weak excuse. give the audience some credit for wanting even the barest semblance of setting/plot bonus round) there's no talking in this movie. no just sits around the dinner table complaining that they can't go to pilot academy. there's no time to settle into the setting and characters. everything moves too quickly and is way to amped up. the jokes are almost uniformly bad this movie kept forgetting its a kids' movie and keeps throwing in lowest common denominator pandering. its tacky everything having to do with nature/animals/wildlife was awful its clear that the two NT movies had different directors with different visions. this movie had some themes that would have been a fine start to the trilogy if they could have somehow merged it with the first one, cutting out the chaff. introduce rey, she catches up with the leaders of the republic who are being couped, end on red hoth, or something like that. shoulda saved the super death star for later everything luke related was bad. it had to be bad though because the writing set it up to be bad. there's a saying that if there's something more interesting that happens in a flashback or exposition about the past then you're telling the wrong story. the jedi academy is interesting and deserves more than what we got about it. its something that should likely have featured prominently in the NT since its the most obvious continuation of the story from the OT. i can see how it would be so obviously challenging to do though the "talking to each other like embarrassing like night texting" thing was awful. just terrible. awkward and stupid. if you need the characters to interact then find a way to put them somewhere together where they can't kill each other. in fact, this should have basically been the whole second movie. rey and kylo stuck somewhere where kylo trains rey but with an emphasis on the dark side (cuz that's what he knows); like an inverse yoda. i dunno, something like that. oh yeah, a special lol at the fin/rose execution scene where phasma is right next to them and then suicide bombing happens and suddenly everyone in armor is dead, the good guys are fine, and phasma is somehow on the other end of the hanger i can't emphasize enough that the last jedi was just painfully, annoyingly bad from start to finish. it wasn't fun to watch and was full of some of the worst scenes and arcs i've ever seen in movies, all of which was compounded because its so poorly aping superior movies RaySmuckles fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Apr 27, 2019 |
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Apr 27, 2019 04:57
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"Now this is Porg Racing!"
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Apr 27, 2019 05:02
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Sometimes you don't need an analysis any deeper than "It was poo poo to start to finish in all aspects from writing, directing, cinematography, musical score, editing and general production". Also ever notice how nobody leaps to defend it anymore because all the viral marketing dosh has been long spent?
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Apr 27, 2019 05:03
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DancingShade posted:Sometimes you don't need an analysis any deeper than "It was poo poo to start to finish in all aspects from writing, directing, cinematography, musical score, editing and general production". yeah but i had to get it off my chest i can't bitch at the wife all night. she gets tired of that poo poo so i have to shout it into the void the movie was too bad to not want to tear it to pieces
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Apr 27, 2019 05:04
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RaySmuckles posted:yeah but i had to get it off my chest Understandable. I disliked the 3rd Matrix movie so much I tossed the DVD in the trash after watching it. Snapped in half.
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Apr 27, 2019 05:05
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DancingShade posted:Understandable. I disliked the 3rd Matrix movie so much I tossed the DVD in the trash after watching it. Snapped in half. a perfectly reasonable reaction, frankly
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Apr 27, 2019 05:08
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DancingShade posted:Sometimes you don't need an analysis any deeper than "It was poo poo to start to finish in all aspects from writing, directing, cinematography, musical score, editing and general production". There wasn't a single action scene in the movie that had any manner of tension or excitement. Rogue one had a ton, Solo had some as well, and to a lesser extent TFA, but TLJ had absolutely none. If you can't get invested into the characters and their motivations, then you've got nothing to really hold an audience's attention. I'm going to wait for the last one to come to netflix just so I can at the very least see the Emperor shuffling around in the death star wreckage in his filthy robe, eating decades old MREs, and sexually violating an ewok he has chained up in his bedroom.
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Apr 27, 2019 06:04
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I hope phasma comes back. Maybe the ghost of evil bad guy can possess her corpse? Idk. She was the only interesting villain in new trilogy.
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Apr 27, 2019 06:10
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DancingShade posted:I disliked the 3rd Matrix movie so much I tossed the DVD in the trash after watching it. Snapped in half. In my lifetime, I feel like the Matrix started the trend of needless sequels that add nothing of meaning to the original film/s, and even detract from the experience (I was about 11 when The Matrix came out). MCU feels like the new method, where you have a series of indirectly related franchises which you can sort of dip test separately from each other, but then cross over the more successful stories with each other to extend it, and the bad ones don't detract from the overall product.
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Apr 27, 2019 06:14
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I just genuinely feel bad about Mark. Just... like... google the things he's said about TLJ, or his current pinned tweet. People go on about toxic masculinity and all that, but Luke Skywalker was an example of an actual nontoxic male hero you could point at that people actually loved. I think chuds would actually have lost their poo poo if he had been in character, it's not like right wingers didn't used to treat Luke like Steven Universe half the time with how many of them called Luke "unmanly" or "whiny" because he wasn't a power fantasy. Mark's been proud of that role for decades, he was the face of the franchise, and somehow no one in the production of TLJ besides Mark said that this was a lovely idea.
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Apr 27, 2019 06:26
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call me a nerd call me gay but i am loving BUMMED that the sequel trilogy has turned out to not be very good i predict in 5-10 years time the prequels will be generally accepted as better than the sequels (unless ep 9 is loving insane)
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Apr 27, 2019 06:26
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get me HQ! posted:call me a nerd I think we're basically there already tbh.
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Apr 27, 2019 06:27
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Colonel Cancer posted:I hope phasma comes back. Maybe the ghost of evil bad guy can possess her corpse? Idk. She was the only interesting villain in new trilogy. I mean, her costume was cool?
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Apr 27, 2019 06:29
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