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Jun 5, 2024 17:36
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- The Lone Badger
- Sep 24, 2007
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<awards medal to kid>
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May 10, 2019 05:08
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- Xenocides
- Jan 14, 2008
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This world looks very scary....
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Probably fake but:
Me [24m] and my gf [23f] of 3 years, she oils guys butt on the beach and Im annoyed and she says im ridiculous.
quote:Yup, short and sweet. I was at the beach and she rolls up with this good looking guy and he is in a speedo and he wants her to oil his body. She then proceeds to oil his rear end as well. Then they sit on a blanket and talk like 5 inches away from eachothers face. Abnormal amount of distance. She had just met this guy BTW.
Normally, Id be for sure pissed and wouldnt need validation from Reddit. But the twist is he is gay. Personally I dont think it matters, but she says it does. It means nothing because he is gay.
But I can gaurantee you if some smoking hot lesbian was beside me and I was oiling her breasts shed think otherwise.
Having trouble gauging it so Im looking for opinions and kneeling before Reddit for a consensus.
TL;DR gf oils guys rear end while he is in a speedo on the beach and says it doesnt matter cause he is gay. I say it doesnt matter, it is inappropriate. She wont accept. Who is WRONG?
Then the gf shows up:
quote:
UNBELIEVABLE.
You know I browse reddit relationships, and to find this is hosed up. Did you want me to find this? You are being so untruthful.
You know full well how this situation went and this is why I bring it up with you about these other girls. BECAUSE YOU CANNOT GIVE ME THE SAME COURTESY I GAVE YOU. The girls you gently caress around with, grabbing your 'friend's' tits when I'm not there, slapping your ex's rear end when you thought I wasn't there to see it, sitting so close to your girl friend (that has a crush on you) that is naked at the beach with her tits in your face, cuddling up to your other girl friend (who also has a crush on you) so tightly that your touching all while bitching about me half naked on a floaty on the lake. That's closer than the '5"s' you claim I was to this gay friend.
I listened and talked it out and apologized and heard you out without any interjection! Never once did I say you were ridiculous for bringing it up.
But when I bring up these other things you've done, you blow me off and have some excuse or jump on me saying that you did it because of something I said or have done. You have back-handed apologies and so many drat excuses for your behaviour and why it's fine for you to do this and not hear me out and understand why it hurts me!
You brought this up to me and how it hurt you, I IMMEDIATELY said I was sorry, that it didn't mean anything. I apologized profusely and listened to how it upset you and talked through it with you without bringing up anything else as to what you have previously done. As far as I was to understand, we worked this out!! I was at the beach with him and he was gay, we were getting along and were with a few other friends, we put suntan lotion on each others backs as well as our other friends and he asked if I could put sun tan lotion on his butt cheeks while I was putting it on his lower back. I felt awkward but did it to not be weird, I regretted it and felt weird as it was a pressure to just do it like it was normal. I knew you were at the beach, we were texting each other all day and talked while there, I told you he was gay. I wasn't hiding anything. It was a mistake and I told you I felt nothing for him and listened to you and let you vent.
We talked this out almost a year ago and multiple times since and I see you really can't wrap your head around how it actually went and how we talked it out.
What it feels like you're doing is bringing this up to garner some sort of attention for yourself because of our current situation so you can feel better and validated that you haven’t done any wrongdoing and it is all me that is the issue in our relationship. This is so classic from you.
Would you like to also bring up how you don't like bringing me around when you go out because girls treat you different and then still claim that you're not flirting or eliciting behaviours from them that make you feel desired? Would you like to explain why you don't put me on social media yet all your other girl friends are LOADED on there?
You comment about how everything I do is fine and everything you do is bad. Revisit this please, you RIP me apart constantly and your communication with me is deplorable. I’ve spent too many days apologizing and taking your lashings and hurtful words when you rip on me for situations that do not deserve it and when I ask for you to see how it wasn’t deserved, I barely get an apology for your outlandish actions.
Your comment stating how hard is it to say - 'sorry, you are right, I shouldn't be touching other mens bodies like that,' IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID TO YOU. And when I ask for this in return like when you slapped your ex's BARE rear end hard at a bikini party (all while not knowing I was there or that I watched it from 15 ft away from you), you defend and give a back-handed sorry IF at all.
Why the gently caress have I spent the last four years of my life putting up with you and these bullshit behaviours? This is the real question.
And now YOU have a tough decision to make?? Nice comment thinking that you have to make this decision, maybe you shouldn't be lying and half-truthing situations to others online and god knows who else you talk with. Sadly this isn't the first time you've hurt me with what you've said online. I'm such an idiot to have stayed with you.
FYI I am attracted to women.
And my favorite comment:
quote:If this is real, the you guys put the fun in dysfunction.
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May 10, 2019 05:47
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- Motherfucker
- Jul 16, 2011
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I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
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Pete: The teenage years.
My (27F) brother (33M) reached out to his kid (13M) his kid essentially told him to go F himself. They've never met. Brother isn't taking it well.
lmao sounds like a success story to me.
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May 10, 2019 06:00
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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My (27F) brother (33M) reached out to his kid (13M) his kid essentially told him to go F himself. They've never met. Brother isn't taking it well.
You didnt raise a good kid but you did make one
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May 10, 2019 06:05
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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Cousin/ Best friend [26/M] is staying with me as he is on the outs with his GF [25/F] after she slapped him. I [26/M] am actually on her side and want him to apologize. He will not listen to reason.
My cousin Miles and I grew up together, he’s my best friend and though we’ve grown apart the last few years, I’d always be there for him. During high school, a few things happened that indelibly changed Miles and he kind of went down a dark path. He rebounded but was never the same afterwards. A couple of years ago, probably 5 years now, he met “Susanne” who has been his long-suffering girlfriend. They are dramatic and have broken up at least a dozen times over the last 5 years. Usually every couple of months there is some sort of problem and at least every 6 months they “take a break.”
Miles has become a perpetual gently caress-up. He can get fired on his second day of work; he perpetually says the wrong thing, acts in a manner contrary to good sense and will invariably infuriate his girlfriend. He’s the kind of guy who forgets to buy heating oil; he can’t cook and is absolutely unable to get poo poo done. He’s unreliable and his judgement is always off. Despite that, he’s got a heart of gold and absolutely has a huge amount of love to give. The number of times I’ve had to get involved and save him from self-destruction is innumerable. I personally think the drugs messed up his brain in such a way that he’s become child-like in his inability to fend for himself in so many situations. Susanne effectively looks after him and now they’re having a baby.
She’s 3 months pregnant and caught him flirting with another girl that lives nearby. The girl tried to kiss Miles who didn’t exactly pull away and he did this not realizing Susanne was standing there. Miles is yet again out of work, doesn’t have prospects right now and was at home while Susanne was working. When she arrived home and realized he wasn’t around, she went looking. She came upon the two of them getting too close for comfort. Susanne was furious and as best I can tell from both their accounts (her I trust more, sadly), they returned home and they got into a huge fight. He called her s(#t. She turned to walk away, he tried to grab her to say something and she struggled to get away and when he persisted and wouldn’t let her go, she walloped him. I am absolutely not condoning violence, but if she’s struggling to get away from you, there’s a chance you’re going to get hit.
He stormed out and left. He’s staying at various places and has come by my apartment on more than a few occasions. I live in the city and he hates driving/visiting the city, so the frequency of his visits lets me know he’s really conflicted about this. He thinks the problem is all on the girls – the first girl for kissing him and Susanne for slapping him. He often won’t see his own culpability. I’m busy in grad school (fulfilling a lifelong dream, finally) and yet I still managed to jockey the phone to broker peace. My aunt blames herself for the way Miles turned out (which I would say is probably true as she hosed things up royally) and will never, ever, be straightforward with him. She’ll also never tell him when he has done wrong. His mom validates everything. So, it means she will say the problem is all on Susanne when in reality, he’s such a tool that he brought a lot of this drama on himself.
I’m getting fed up. I’m constantly busy with school work, I’m fed up with Miles’ drama and I’m getting to the point where I can’t be his sage. I am racking my brains trying to find a way to get through to him. I’m appealing to all of you: What should I do in this situation? Am I wrong? Am I the crazy one?
tl;dr Cousin engaged in a lot of drugs and wound-up kind of frying his brain. He got into an altercation with his long suffering GF and tried to keep her from walking away. She slapped when after he tried to restrain her and now he wants an apology from her. I'm tired of being in the middle and not sure if I've handled the situation correctly,
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May 10, 2019 06:25
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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TIFU by jacking off at my brothers house!
Ok so i ought to start with the background
I am 18. I walk/feed my brothers dogs for him when his wife or him cant since they are at work and he lives close to my house. Yesterday,he called me and asked me to go feed them since he cant make it home. I did that because im a nice little brother. Well, it was my last day of senior year and I was a little bit high (more like a lot). After feeding them, I found the couch and chilled for like 20 minutes. My high self got very bored and started to wank one out. I finished my business and left his house. Everything is done!
Well, I thought so.
Today, he texts me and basically is going off on me because they recently installed a camera in the living room that allows them to watch the dogs when they arent home. I guess they watched the camera today and saw me, from the front, wankin one off. I am so soooo embarassed. I didnt know what to say to him lmao. I will never be able to look at his wife the same again
Tl;dr I wanked one out at my brothers and his wife saw it on a new camera they installed that was sposed to be for watching the dogs. How embarrassing!
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May 10, 2019 06:40
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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TIFU by jacking off at my brothers house!
Ok so i ought to start with the background
I am 18. I walk/feed my brothers dogs for him when his wife or him cant since they are at work and he lives close to my house. Yesterday,he called me and asked me to go feed them since he cant make it home. I did that because im a nice little brother. Well, it was my last day of senior year and I was a little bit high (more like a lot). After feeding them, I found the couch and chilled for like 20 minutes. My high self got very bored and started to wank one out. I finished my business and left his house. Everything is done!
Well, I thought so.
Today, he texts me and basically is going off on me because they recently installed a camera in the living room that allows them to watch the dogs when they arent home. I guess they watched the camera today and saw me, from the front, wankin one off. I am so soooo embarassed. I didnt know what to say to him lmao. I will never be able to look at his wife the same again
Tl;dr I wanked one out at my brothers and his wife saw it on a new camera they installed that was sposed to be for watching the dogs. How embarrassing!
Lol
This is perfect. So loving perfect.
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May 10, 2019 06:42
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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TIFU by accidentally wearing my chastity cage to a urinalysis
I was (still am) in the Army, and we frequently have urinalyses, typically with no warning. I would typically be prepared.. So, the woman I was with then we're constantly engaging in power play, where I would be wearing a metal chastity cage (to, literally, control your sexual urges)and she has the key to unlock it. So, it was a chastity lifestyle where it would locked on unless I am doing morning physical training, where I use a backup key.
To set the stage: We have formations every morning at 0630 for accountability, and to conduct PT (exercise) afterward. Most of the time, I am tasked out with duty, or on the gate, so I rarely need to show up.
Cue that Monday morning, I had just finished the weekly guard duty and had forgotten to set my alarm for the next day. I realized that I was already late, so dressed and rushed down to formatiom, either forgetting or not having time to take off the cage.
There was a surprise urinalysis that morning, and of course I am one of those randomly selected. We have to go to another barracks to do this, and I now realize my problem.
Once I am called into the latrine to do the piss test, I drop trou and begin. The meat gazers mostly don't care (some always want to physically see the urine leave your body) but if he had seen my metal dick, there wasn't much of a reaction). However, after I turned in the sample, he just gave me a long, strange look for a few seconds.
Afterwards, like any responsible soldier, I posted in a panic to /r/army sub asking if I would draw trouble (improper sample? Sexual harassment?) thankfully was vague enough and didn't get doxxed. The observer was already being sent to a different base, so at least he did not tell anyone..
TLDR; wore a dick cage to a piss test, (probably) pissed off the observer, got off scot-free.
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May 10, 2019 07:33
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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AITA for telling a STEM major to shut the gently caress up?
So I have finals this week and, tensions are running high everywhere. I was studying in the library with a group of friends for a political science class, and my friend complained that this class is incredibly hard and he's having a tough time. This girl who was studying with us heard him and was like "you aren't a STEM major so why are you even complaining? you haven't had a hard class till you've taken calc 3." Now I'm not a STEM major either, and I just felt tired of always being told my major isn't hard or anything, especially since she has mentioned it several times before, so I told her to shut the gently caress up for once. But this led to her crying and her friends started telling me I was being mean to her.
Was I the rear end in a top hat here?
didn't even have to read the post
lol what a tool
hell yeah gimme that sweet tree law justice
oh poo poo, the violators weren't just idiots, but were actually rich bougie assholes who acted maliciously over and over? and now they have to sell their multimillion dollar property? smear this story all over my body i want to bathe in it
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May 10, 2019 08:25
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- MLKQUOTEMACHINE
- Oct 22, 2012
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Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill
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My (24M) gf (24F) is unusually buying new bras and panties
*Bold emphasis his, italics mine
I love buying myself some gay underwear, but $1100 for underwear is obscene. Or as op would put it, unusual
Update 6 posted:UPDATE 6: You know you have one of those days when all the hell breaks loose and this was one for me. I skipped lunch break phone call in hopes I can talk to my gf when she gets back home. Spoke to Karen and her mom in the meantime to ensure if she isn't in some kind of financial mess or other kind of trouble. But it takes one loving truth to destroy it all. You guys, my gf saw this post at work and she immediately knew it was me posting it here. I didn't realize this, leaving rest of her day off. Some 4 hours ago my gf confessed that she was sleeping with some guy she met at her work gym. Since the beginning of March. gently caress me.
She met this guy at her work gym some 8 months ago. This guy is not even from her workplace, he works at this other startup, in a different building of this corporate park. She said things got all heated up late February after one afternoon. I loving though she stopped going to gym owing to her hectic schedule after her promotion late November. But there she was, going to gym all along. From the day she started sleeping with this guy, she told her coworkers she has switched gyms across the street. I haven't even cared to ask where they did it. The missing underwear: this is so messed up. Sick. She had this realization midway in March that this was wrong. I don't know why I never saw this side of her but she began buying new underwear and throwing it off AS SOME loving GUILT RITUAL. She said she couldn't get off that guilt of wearing the same underwear in bed with me as she worn hours earlier sleeping with that mf. Do you know how disgusting that feels? Who loving does this - throw underwear because you want tp dust off guilt from having it worn during sex with a guy you've met and barely known? I was stand still, but I held up for the moment. She says she was confused and that she has backed away from this guy's advances since past one week. I don't believe any word of it. In fact I don't think I wanna believe what she's said. Also, the "tossing her underwear at workplace" was an excuse - yes, because back then I was driving and she didn't know how to react or what to say, so she made that excuse up. And here I was worrying whole day what it could be.
I later called Karen because we were both emotionally drained. I didn't even wait a bit after she arrived. Even Karen was shocked by the ramble. She later called me, because I had already left them in our apartment. It took me a while to get my thinking right and call my brother. I'll be crashing at his house for now.
Honestly I don't even wanna see her face ever. How can someone lie so perfectly? How can someone be so cold that they show no emotional change or discomfort when sleeping with two people??? WTF - she slept with me hours after she slept with that idiot? And throwing underwear was her means to get over that guilt. I don't understand her anymore. When she said it was all carnal, I didn't even know she believed in notion of sleeping around with people for physical needs. She said she still loves me and this was just something that made her feel good. I don't even know what to interpret of that. Honestly I think my thoughts are all over the place. But thank you - I don't know if I could have known about this if it wasn't for this post. It was after dinner did I realize that was trending on this sub, and this post made her take the mid-day train back home. I have so many questions. Part of me wants to see her again just to make sure she is alright. Part of me doesn't want to see her ever again. I have so many questions but I just avoided her by walking downstairs in no time. I had to ask my brother and his wife to pick some stuff off from home. poo poo this is all messed up.
no happy endings
MLKQUOTEMACHINE fucked around with this message at 08:32 on May 10, 2019
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May 10, 2019 08:29
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Ahaha exactly what I thought.
Oh wait Im just sad.
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May 10, 2019 08:31
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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uh you know where the something awful forums are hosted out of and who owns the site, right?
Rich "Adolf Hitler" Kyanka
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May 10, 2019 08:36
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I know Lowtax has defended some of Amir Timur's policies, but that doesnt mean he supports a return to nadic steppe conquering
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May 10, 2019 08:44
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Huh... well someone called the cheating but the underwear part... that’s just fuckin weird.
Well at least he broke it off. That’s some good news out of the whole mess.
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May 10, 2019 08:52
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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People do weird poo poo when they start cheating, its one of the hallmarks. People who used to be polite and nice suddenly arguing with every server and demanding discounts or dinners returned is, Im told, a common one because the partner overcompensates trying to show they care and provide.
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May 10, 2019 09:02
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- it dont matter
- Aug 29, 2008
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AITA for refusing to go to my brother’s wedding over his requests
He said anyone but boyfriend, so bring a friend. Your loudest, campest, most fabulous friend.
And explain that while you were unable to gain the required amount of weight you did find a lovely fat suit.
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May 10, 2019 10:57
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- Darkhold
- Feb 19, 2011
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No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅
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Edit: misread
have a story instead quote:AITA for sulking over an unwanted birthday presentMy wife (let's call her Liz) decided to surprise me for my birthday. As we headed out for a night on the town in Paris (where we live), I could only guess at what fun event it could be. Maybe a concert, a nice meal, or an interesting play? I could only imagine, and maybe I let my hopes run a bit wild.
The surprise was a self-styled "fashion freak show," a song-and-dance cabaret (almost entirely in French, which I don't really speak, but Liz does) review of the life, times, and inspirations of famous French designer Jean-Paul Gaultier. If you have no idea who he is (as was the case for me), with a little light googling you can find that he designed the Madonna cone bra and was/is best-known for scandalizing the Paris fashion establishment. Right.
I self-identify as a bit of a nerd. My interests include music, sci-fi/fantasy, politics, video gaming, history, food, karaoke. A live podcast of My Brother My Brother and Me or Five Thirty Eight? Perfect. A They Might be Giants or Belle and Sebastian concert? Bulls eye. Escape rooms? Baller.
A cabaret-style fashion show and musical retrospective of the life and style of monsieur Gaultier? Erk.
While opinions have differed over whether I behaved appropriately, friends and family all agree that Liz missed the mark pretty badly. I stuck through to the end of the performance, but I'm afraid I didn't hide my dismay particularly well. Liz became offended that I didn't enjoy and appreciate a night that was intended as a present. She tartly offered that for her birthday we could do something I would enjoy. I responded that this was not a quid pro quo. I would never gift her something I did no reasonably believe she would enjoy. Reader, things got tense.
My disappointment stems from the fact that this was to be a birthday surprise. Had Liz approached me and asked if I would go with her to the "Fashion Freak Show" because it was something SHE wanted to do, of course I'd say yes. I would even appreciate getting out of my comfort zone a bit and doing something that made her happy. Instead, I was left scratching my head and wondering how, after 13 years together, she could miss on my interests so badly. AITA for feeling hurt that my wife would give a gift that I so obviously would not enjoy?
Or better an escape room but leave her in there alone.
Darkhold fucked around with this message at 11:13 on May 10, 2019
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May 10, 2019 11:06
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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AITA for going skinny dipping over my (F21) vacation?
quote:
I went on a beach house vacation with several friends from university. Yesterday, after spending the entire day drinking at the beach, we decide to go the club and drink even more.
After the club, we went skinny dipping. I told my boyfriend before I left for this vacay that the girls we're talking about skinny dipping and that I wanted to join them. As a kid, I thought that's what all the college kids did and I've never felt like it was overtly sexual. Just something that was fun. I knew he didn't like the situation, but after telling him that I wanted to just be young and have fun, we dropped the convo.
Fast forward to the beach house, 8 of us college girls and 2 guys go skinny dipping in the pool and then head to the hot tub afterwards. One of the guy friends is gay, and the other one is getting married (his fiancee was also in the hottub).
When I get back home, my boyfriend is very upset about what happened. He kept going on and on about how all those guys 'didn't deserve to see me naked' and how it wouldn't be an issue if I 'weren't so attractive to him.' He said he thought we would be skinny dipping at night at the beach, not in the light, in close proximity to each other in a hot tub. Before the trip, I thought we were skinny dipping at the beach too.
We calmly spoke about it, and I decided that I didn't like seeing him so upset over something like this so I told him he was right and that I was sorry. He was particularly upset at the guy getting married for getting to see me naked. He kept calling it 'the best bachelor party this kid could get'. I didn't fully understand his beef with the married guy but I guess that's why I'm here asking Reddit.
Although we've talked it through I'd like 3rd party perspective. AITA here? I just wanted to be young. Is skinny dipping sexual? Would you consider it cheating on an SO?
EDIT 1: Because I'm receiving a lot of personal attacks. I'd like to emphasize that my boyfriend and I have resolved this issue. Long before I even posted here. Because he and I had such different views, I was curious to see what other 3rd parties would think. My post states that. Clearly, the comment section is divided over the situation too.
EDIT 2: For everyone calling my boyfriend misogynist, he is certainly not. u/veastt 's comment perfectly captured how my boyfriend felt towards this situation.
OP was in the same hot tub water as a naked penis, so obviously she's damaged goods now and probably pregnant
Also if the OP's boyfriend gets married I hope he tries to reproduce this "best bachelor party" situation of some friends hanging around drinking while some tits happen to be displayed
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May 10, 2019 11:08
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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27F is the kid’s aunt, not his mother
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May 10, 2019 11:08
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- Darkhold
- Feb 19, 2011
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No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅
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27F is the kid’s aunt, not his mother
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May 10, 2019 11:10
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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Don't remember who Karen is.
Regardless, I really don't understand why he's the one leaving while she's the cheater. Throw her poo poo on the lawn.
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May 10, 2019 11:25
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- darkwasthenight
- Jan 7, 2011
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GENE TRAITOR
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AITA for going skinny dipping over my (F21) vacation?
OP was in the same hot tub water as a naked penis, so obviously she's damaged goods now and probably pregnant
Also if the OP's boyfriend gets married I hope he tries to reproduce this "best bachelor party" situation of some friends hanging around drinking while some tits happen to be displayed
Man, I don't really have any particular comment on their relationship but if I told my wife I'd been in a hot tub with two naked girls and seven other dudes there would be some loving QUESTIONS being asked, let me tell you. Also slight lol that she doesn't see a difference between skinny dipping at the beach and getting in a hot tub.
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May 10, 2019 13:26
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- it dont matter
- Aug 29, 2008
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Some good stuff from slate
Entitled sister in law
quote:Dear Prudence,
I make a good living and spend pretty frugally. I bought two homes by the time I was 30 (I rent one out) and drive the same car I had in college. I’ve been very lucky—and I haven’t dated since I was 19. I work like a dog. There are trade-offs. Four years ago, my stepfather had a heart attack while my stepsister was engaged. I paid for half of her wedding and her honeymoon (around $10,000). It was a gift, and I didn’t want my parents stressing out over anything more than my stepfather getting better. I am also close to my stepsister.
My half-brother is much younger than me and getting married to a girl he knew from high school. I don’t know either of them well. At a welcome brunch, his fiancée wanted to know how much I was going to give them for the wedding. My brother attempted to hush her, but this girl pushed on to tell the entire table I “owed” her a honeymoon and reception because I did the same for our sister. I was the “rich sister,” after all, and didn’t have a family of my own. She shut up after her own mother told her to be quiet, but it was an uncomfortable brunch.
Both my brother and the mother of the bride have personally apologized to me. I would be willing to let this go, but both my brother and his bride-to-be have obliquely begged for money on social media and via email. We used to talk once or twice a year, but since that brunch he has called me 10 times wanting to “catch up” (really to complain about wedding costs). I am not sure what to do. They haven’t straight-out asked me yet, but I am not giving either of them a red cent after that brunch. I will buy something on the registry, but the sister of the groom has no obligation to pay for the wedding (the bride’s family does). I know that her parents can’t afford this (my hometown is pretty poor), but I am never going to spend money on a spoiled brat who thinks I owe her a dream wedding. Should I play dumb? How should I proceed?
—Not a Fairy Godmother
A quick point of clarification: The bride’s family doesn’t have an obligation to pay for a wedding. The bride’s family customarily pays for the wedding, but this isn’t the Spencer Tracy version of The Father of the Bride, and just as often they don’t or can’t. Even if you were one of the parents of the bride, it wouldn’t be OK for someone to hound you for money like this. You’re generous to still plan to attend the wedding and pick up a gift, but if you ultimately decide it’s not worth the hassle, send your regrets and book yourself a spa day. And if you’d like to play dumb, you certainly can. You haven’t misled anyone or raised expectations that you’re obligated to squash. But I think you’ll feel less jumpy if you’ve set your brother straight: “I just wanted to clarify after the brunch that I cannot contribute to your wedding funds, so you and your fiancée can factor that into your budget.” No need to explain why or go into details about your finances. If he’s rude enough to press the issue, tell him that it’s not up for discussion and end the conversation.
It doesn’t sound like his fiancée ever apologized to you, just that her mother and your brother apologized on her behalf. My guess is that it’d be close to impossible to get an apology out of her, but I do think it’s a helpful indicator in terms of what you can expect from your relationship to them as a couple. I wouldn’t worry too much about burning bridges, since it seems like their dynamic is a sort of good cop/bad cop attempt to gouge their relatives. She makes unreasonable public demands, he apologizes for her, and then he not-so-subtly reiterates those demands in a slightly politer tone. My vote is for you to take that spa day.
And a surprise cock chopping party
quote:Dear Care and Feeding,
My fiancé was raised as a reform Jew; I am a casual Christian. We have mutually decided not to circumcise our forthcoming son. His family is, to put it lightly, up in arms about our not hosting a bris. (“Because it’s a Jewish rite of passage!”)
I’ve tried reasoning that I won’t be up for hosting 20-plus people seven days after giving birth; I’ve tried explaining that we just won’t be circumcising; I’ve tried making the argument that it’s not sterile for a random rabbi to cut our newborn on the dining room table. I’ve done everything short of saying “Because I don’t want to host a penis party to expose my son to the world.”
Through my fiancé’s sister, we were warned of my future mother-in-law’s plan to host a “surprise” bris at our house a week after the birth! I’m ready to fly off the handle. This isn’t completely out of character for her, but it seems like a new level of crazy and violation. My fiancé has intervened in the past, but never on something of this magnitude. I feel that as the baby’s mother, this is not a situation I should just leave to him.
How do I confront her about this and, God forbid, deal with a “surprise bris” if family and a rabbi show up at our door in a few months?
—We Do Not Want a Bris
Dear WDNWaB,
You may be the baby’s mother, but your fiancé is the son of the lady who appears to be planning to toss you a “surprise” bris, and it’s absolutely his job to have this conversation. He needs to talk to her, preferably in person, immediately.
I guarantee that she does not think the decision was mutual. She thinks that you, “a casual Christian,” have pressured her Jewish son into forgoing something intensely important to his cultural heritage (not just the bris, but the circumcision itself), and nothing you say to her on the subject is going to make a dent in that.
Your fiancé has to have this talk. He needs to look her in the eyes and say that this is what he wants as well. You are blessed in your future sister-in-law being willing to narc on the “surprise!” bris; perhaps she and you and your fiancé could plan a party, a month or so after you’re truly back on your feet, that will celebrate his side of the family and his Jewish heritage, minus any mild surgery. It’ll be later than usual, but would you be open to a naming ceremony? I think that might do a lot to heal this relationship.
I do think she is behaving outrageously, but I also think, like so much outrageous behavior, it’s coming from a place of fear. That your family will be closer to your grandson, that your holidays will take precedence over the ones she raised your fiancé to celebrate, etc. Even as he lays down the law on the bris, I want your fiancé to do it with great kindness and provide her a degree of reassurance that this beautiful boy is still 100 percent her grandson, and (I assume) you plan on keeping his Jewish heritage alive in his life.
If that’s not the case, well, I would reconsider that. I wish you the best of luck, and if a rabbi does show up with a medical kit, you can lock yourself in the bathroom with the baby until he goes. I am hoping that your fiancé and his mother can have the sort of conversation that renders that unnecessary.
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May 10, 2019 13:44
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 17:36
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Edit: misread
have a story instead
He needs to buy himself a video game console for her birthday.
Or better an escape room but leave her in there alone.
This actually looks pretty baller, what a whiny loser
https://booking.parisinfo.com/il4-offer_i561-fashion-freak-show-by-jean-paul-gaultier.aspx
quote:A unique show – cabaret and fashion show rolled into one
Take your seats at the Folies Bergères for a unique show! Director and set designer, Jean Paul Gaultier draws you into his thoroughly fantastical and spectacular world. Enjoy 2 hours 30 of entertainment with great music selected by Nile Rodgers, and rediscover the iconic creations of the French stylist!
‘This show is the story of my life’
Fascinated by the world of entertainment and a lover of fashion, Jean Paul Gaultier has once again proved his forward-thinking and his boundless creativity by creating the Fashion Freak Show. The designer, a perfectionist, has surrounded himself with the best names in show business to put on this new show: Tonie Marshall (actress, writer and director) and Marion Motin (a choreographer recognized for having worked with Christine and the Queens, France Gall and Stromae).
Like a private diary opened to the public, the couturier recounts his present life and his past life before he became successful. From his beginnings to catwalk shows and crazy London parties, Jean Paul Gaultier opens the doors of his imagination for you. With some fifteen artists embodying wild characters, the designer pays tribute to great stars that have inspired him such as Madonna, Luc Besson, Pedro Almodovar, Kylie Minogue and Mylène Farmer.
Eccentric, funny and totally offbeat, you will leave the Fashion Freak Show in a more upbeat mood than on arriving!
Please note:
The show is not recommended for children under age 16.
The entire show will be surtitled in English to accommodate the audiences.
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May 10, 2019 14:05
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May 10, 2019 05:04
Cat Army 
