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We were making birds out of clay and the teacher tried to explain how to make a tail without thinking about what she said: "What grows out of the bird's butt?" "POOP!!"
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Apr 26, 2019 15:46
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My coworker brought her tortoise to my class a couple weeks ago. The first thing it did was poo poo all over her. My kids, bless them, were remarkably restrained. There is NOTHING they find as funny as poop. She also brought in a guinea pig. The guinea pig so enchanted the entire class that they made HIM thank-you cards, and not Ms. R. They really loved the loving guinea pig. This will be important later. I asked them to write about the visit the next day, with sentence prompts like "I learned..." and "My favorite thing was..." and so on. A1, naturally, wrote "My favorite thing was when the turtle do a poo-poo on Ms. R." Thank you, A1. Yesterday, my coworker came to me in great distress. A1, when asked to describe his dream vacation, said he would go to Peru and kill "all the people of Peru." I had to admit that it was my fault- I had told the class that people sometimes eat guinea pigs in Peru. A1 took it very hard. M has started describing anything he doesn't like as a "cacapeepeeculopiss" and tbh I'm not even mad. It's just a really, really good profanity.
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Apr 27, 2019 00:20
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One of the preschoolers I work with stroked my tattoo and said, "Did you do that by yourself?" Nope, I went to a shop and a man did it. I probably shouldn't do that by myself. "Like the hairdressers. I probably shouldn't do that by myself.  "
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May 2, 2019 20:31
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eating only apples posted:One of the preschoolers I work with stroked my tattoo and said, "Did you do that by yourself?" It sounds like the kid learned that with personal experience.
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May 6, 2019 04:06
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G4: (in Spanish) "MS. FLETA!!!!!! I LOOKED AT A PICTURE OF A SHARK'S BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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May 14, 2019 12:23
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Okay, who else immediately Googled “shark cloaca” and then was slightly disappointed?
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May 14, 2019 15:40
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Fleta, sometimes I wonder. Just what is it with your kids and sharks.
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May 14, 2019 15:45
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butthole shark doo doo doo doo doo doo Another G4 quote, which he proudly delivered only in English: "Ms. Fleta! You are the poopoo! I want touch your bum!" ..........ooooooooooooooooookay.
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May 14, 2019 15:49
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If I'm parsing that right, G4 thinks you are the poo poo. That kind of flattering. Well, bar the butt touching, I guess, but that might also be flattering? I dunno. Euro is weird.
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May 14, 2019 16:15
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The butt touching has been epidemic lately. As a result, they now understand that molestar is not a cognate. "Ms. Fleta, he's molesting me!!!" Are you sure? "Oh. He's BOTHERING ME! Also he is molesting my eyes with his culo gordo!!!!"
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May 14, 2019 17:05
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Cardiovorax posted:Fleta, sometimes I wonder. Just what is it with your kids and sharks. A1, being the loudest and most charismatic member of the class, is scared of The Meg and as a result they have all become obsessed. Don't tell them I have a whole Science period about Megalodon planned for Friday! A1 will beg me to put pictures on sharks on Google Images, then will stand away from me and not look at them. But if I close the window and he notices, he gets super angry and insists I reopen it. He's moving on to Pokemon now, so hopefully his plan to make a book about every Pokemon will overcome his need to know that shark pictures exist.
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May 14, 2019 17:10
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:A1, being the loudest and most charismatic member of the class, is scared of The Meg and as a result they have all become obsessed. Don't tell them I have a whole Science period about Megalodon planned for Friday! Watch it all come crashing down the moment he encounters a Sharpedo.
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May 14, 2019 17:55
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A pretty good article I have become that person, the person who "says "I read an article about that, I'll send it to you."
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May 14, 2019 21:28
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The kids have begun to ask if the stuffed animals at the kindergarten has facebook accounts
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May 15, 2019 16:20
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That sounds like a learning opportunity
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May 15, 2019 18:31
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G4: "Miss Fleta, you want sleep with me?" ME: "The fu--" *I notice he has rolled himself up in the reading corner rug like a little burrito* "Uh, no, thanks. It's time for Social Studies." G4: "Oh. Okay. Can you do the work of A1 so he can sleep with me?" e: The first two lines of every student's current favorite song translate roughly to "Hey, Donald Trump, you are fat and stupid and you don't speak Catalan" and tbh it's pretty great. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 15:41 on May 21, 2019 |
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May 21, 2019 14:44
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Okay, so it turns out that M, A1, G2, and G3 wrote the "Donald Trump Song," of which they are very proud. With the assistance of A1, I have attempted to transcribe it: Havana Donald Trump Es gordo y feo y no sabe Catalan Es vegetariano porque es un tirano Tiene el culo demasiado gordo para matar Havana Donald Trump Se tira un pedo y lo sube a Instagram Se chupa el pene y se pone a cagar Y pobrecito Goyo que explota como un globo Havana Donald Trump Se tira un pedo y lo sube a Instagram Sus sucriptores le dicen guaro. Havana Donald Trump He is fat and ugly and does not know Catalan He is vegetarian because he is a tyrant His rear end is too fat to kill Havana Donald Trump He farts and uploads it to Instagram He sucks his penis and starts to poo poo And poor G2 who explodes like a balloon Havana Donald Trump He farts and uploads it to Instagram Your subscribers call you stupid. I should be angry about the language, but they didn't invent it at school, so I just banned two lines and they have to hum that part. It was very, very hard not to laugh.
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May 22, 2019 10:22
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Fleta, your stories never fail to brighten my day.
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May 22, 2019 10:33
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I'm pretty sure those kids are cspam posters
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May 22, 2019 14:07
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:
loving love this and love your weird lil charges - idk if it's a Latinx thing but this kind of word play and humour and general weirdness reminds me of the Latinx kids I grew up with. Except they're not bullying me
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May 22, 2019 14:59
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Havana Donald Trump 
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No, Fleta just has a talent for running into weird-rear end kids. Spanish, in this case, not Latin American.
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May 22, 2019 15:05
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Okay, so it turns out that M, A1, G2, and G3 wrote the "Donald Trump Song," of which they are very proud. With the assistance of A1, I have attempted to transcribe it: Please do the needful and link their Soundcloud.
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May 22, 2019 15:14
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Cardiovorax posted:No, Fleta just has a talent for running into weird-rear end kids. Spanish, in this case, not Latin American. I think these kids would fight you for calling them Spanish instead of Catalan.
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May 22, 2019 15:44
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...you know, you're probably right about that.
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May 22, 2019 16:06
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To be honest, one nice thing about working in an international school here is being able to sidestep the independinista* stuff a bit. I disagree with them using Catalan as the language of instruction in public schools- there are a LOT of people in Catalunya who are not native Catalan speakers, and while I absolutely understand the choice, I do not agree because Latinx students from other countries are FURTHER marginalized, and there is already drat well enough of that. But this is a thread for cute poo poo, not political poo poo that I am in no way qualified to or deserving of the freedom to comment on. * I might be spelling this wrong, but I just got home (it's 7:30) so gently caress it.
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May 22, 2019 18:39
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 (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 23, 2019 20:06
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Even as a joke, can you loving not?
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May 23, 2019 21:08
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What is that even supposed to be a reference to?
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May 23, 2019 21:12
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chris hansen as in bad taste especially for this thread pedo "joke".
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May 23, 2019 21:19
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Bertrand Hustle posted:What is that even supposed to be a reference to? The host of a TV show about entrapping potential child molesters, because it's hilarious to suggest that people who work with children are predators, you see.
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May 23, 2019 21:19
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Sorry I’m a bit out of the loop - but could somebody explain what pedo means? Idgi  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 24, 2019 02:11
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Someone else posted it in the K-12 teaching thread. Sorry, guys, I don't feel comfortable posting in this thread anymore.
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May 24, 2019 09:30
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Someone also posted it in the PYF Most bachelor moments thread. 
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May 24, 2019 10:24
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wtf is going on and please dont leave fleta
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May 24, 2019 10:44
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There's a recent comment in GBS about posting that gif to troll people
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May 24, 2019 11:18
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This is why we can't have nice things 
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May 24, 2019 12:01
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The Norwegian words for break and hotdog kinda sounds the same (pølse/pause) especially If Norwegian is your second language. So some kids think that the reason why we go to the breakroom is to eat hotdogs.
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May 24, 2019 16:25
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It's not???
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May 24, 2019 16:47
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backstory: about a year ago I left the job where I worked with kids about a year ago, because I was moving. Had one of those conversations with the kids where you're about to cry because you're going to not see these wonderful tiny people anymore, and they don't really understand time well enough to feel bad. At the end of the day I'd always say to each one "Bye {name}, I love you, and be good." Yesterday I was at a restaurant, and I saw one of those kids. He was so excited to see me and we had one of those conversations where he excitedly tells you everything that has happened since we last saw each other (read: everything that happened in the past three days, because time is a strange thing for kids), which really isn't the topic for the thread. No, what feels important is that when he had to leave, he had me kneel down. Then he hugged me and, wagging his finger at me like he's making a formal list of demands, and said "Bye {Bibs}. Be good. Love you." Lost it for the rest of the night. Goddrat I miss those kids 
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May 24, 2019 23:10
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Alhazred posted:The Norwegian words for break and hotdog kinda sounds the same (pølse/pause) especially If Norwegian is your second language. So some kids think that the reason why we go to the breakroom is to eat hotdogs. Get one of those gas-station hot dog rotisserie machines for the break room. Live the dream.
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May 24, 2019 23:38
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