(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Chokes McGee posted:I am not a doctor at all so ignore my hilariously terrible advice but given the hallucinations I'm concerned about schizophrenia the hallucinations sound like a manifestation of mild HPPD from the effects of the DXM in the nyquil, i wouldn't be concerned about them at all. they happen with most hallucinogens to some degree or another with many people and go away eventually
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May 16, 2019 18:21
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| # ? May 26, 2024 06:24 |
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Mordor She Wrote posted:But yeah if Bernie doesn't win the primary, the literal world have zero chance of survival so that'll be when I just give up entirely, gooooo Bernie. (that and my work life insurance policy will be past the suicide clause so that my normal brained girlfriend can get 40k to play around with after I kick the bucket) You really need to decenter America from your politics and decenter politics from your life imo
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May 16, 2019 19:18
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Mordor She Wrote posted:But yeah if Bernie doesn't win the primary, the literal world have zero chance of survival so that'll be when I just give up entirely, gooooo Bernie. (that and my work life insurance policy will be past the suicide clause so that my normal brained girlfriend can get 40k to play around with after I kick the bucket) FactsAreUseless posted:It's not. You know rationally that it isn't reasonable, but suicidal ideation is a hell of a thing. Remove potential methods of self-harm or take yourself away from them, tell someone trusted and if you can't talk to a help line or a professional, spend time in public if possible, and remember that suicidal urges pass sooner than you think. You can also call a psych or a help line or some mental health resource now, since you've taken the important step of identifying your ideation, and they can help you set up a crisis plan and some coping exercises, and assist you in stopping this from reaching a dangerous point. You aren't alone and there are rational steps you can take to make yourself safer.
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May 16, 2019 19:24
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Chokes McGee posted:I really really REALLY recommend against combining a gun with increasing suicidal intentions. its probably the last thing in the world anyone who suffers from long term depression needs, because it makes successful suicide attempts go right through the roof. If I had access to that instead of a hoodie and ineptitude I wouldnt be posting this right now. Agreed about the gun, though its something that seems almost worth the risk lately. A small measure of progress I suppose is that I no longer have suicidal feelings attached to crippling self-worth issues, just feelings of "the world may not be a place I can exist in safely anymore" which I never had beforehand when I dealt with an attempt in my teens. Honestly, at this point if 2020 goes bad, I cant see any reasons to stick around- most of the friends I used to have wound up moving away over the years, and I dont have anyone close to keep me around. I really want this to not be the case, but I want to be mentally prepared for the worst. The commute is extremely soul-crushing. I came off a more normal commute working on my previous gig (that was a lot more fun) and this is probably one of the worst I've ever done- needing to drive right through downtown LA and sit on some of the most congested freeways- or deal with 15 miles of stoplights and traffic on side streets. I did look into working remotely but our setup requires everyone to be present for security reasons. Incidentally, since I wrote the earlier post I've had a chance to read more of the thread. The previous gig I worked on was "Shazam!" (vfx) and I want to say it really lifted my mood to read that a number of posters felt that it brightened their day. There are so many people who work on something like that, but its nice to have been able to in some fraction of a way, contribute to making someone's day brighter.
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May 16, 2019 21:12
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So, I have a uterus. I'm of childbearing age. I live in the United States. I do not want to go through pregnancy/childbirth, and I'm honestly scared I would kill myself if I ever found myself trapped with a pregnancy I couldn't abort. I've had nightmares about it since I was like twelve. The news has been really hard to handle this week.
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May 16, 2019 21:14
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Frog Act posted:the hallucinations sound like a manifestation of mild HPPD from the effects of the DXM in the nyquil, i wouldn't be concerned about them at all. they happen with most hallucinogens to some degree or another with many people and go away eventually holy poo poo, I just read up on hppd and that's pretty much exactly what its like, huh. Warning to everyone else don't chug a bottle and a half of nyquil. FactsAreUseless posted:The idea that you should kill yourself to avoid future pain is just maladaptive thinking. It's essentially just a very short-sighted utilitarianism. I appreciate the positive comments and I'm not saying this to be dismissive but I just don't think there's like a long term that doesn't suck any less than now does, but I'm also slightly uncreative so maybe I just can't envision any sort of positive outcomes.
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May 16, 2019 21:19
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Okan170 posted:
For what it's worth, I thought a lot of the visual effects in Shazam were really cool, the smog demon thing was rad.
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May 16, 2019 21:21
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Mordor She Wrote posted:I appreciate the positive comments and I'm not saying this to be dismissive but I just don't think there's like a long term that doesn't suck any less than now does, but I'm also slightly uncreative so maybe I just can't envision any sort of positive outcomes.
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May 16, 2019 21:51
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Okan170 posted:Agreed about the gun, though its something that seems almost worth the risk lately. A small measure of progress I suppose is that I no longer have suicidal feelings attached to crippling self-worth issues, just feelings of "the world may not be a place I can exist in safely anymore" which I never had beforehand when I dealt with an attempt in my teens. Honestly, at this point if 2020 goes bad, I cant see any reasons to stick around- most of the friends I used to have wound up moving away over the years, and I dont have anyone close to keep me around. I really want this to not be the case, but I want to be mentally prepared for the worst. hey I just wanted to say that I've lived in LA for a while and it can be really hard so I get where you're coming from. If you ever want to talk a fellow goon who lives here just PM me or whatever
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May 16, 2019 21:51
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ghost emoji posted:So, I have a uterus. I'm of childbearing age. I live in the United States. Remember that it's not over yet. There's still a lot you can do, and once you get control over your own reproductive health you can focus on protecting other women's right to own their bodies.
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May 16, 2019 21:54
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FactsAreUseless posted:The best thing you can do for your mental health right now is to take as much control of your reproductive health as you can. Talk to your doctor, find out your options, and if they won't support your desire never to have a child then find a better doctor. There's still a lot you can do to make sure you have control of your reproductive system. And, depending on the state you're in, you can talk to advocacy organizations about creating a plan to access abortion in another state or even country. Things are bad, and there's no perfect solution, but you still have actions to take. I've got an IUD and my husband always uses condoms (and he is looking into getting a vasectomy). But I still get paranoid. I know it's irrational. I wish I could just get an elective tubal ligation, but since I'm under 30 and don't have kids, I doubt a doctor would do it. I'll keep researching! edit: I think it's also just the blatant dehumanization that's getting me down. I don't like the constant reminders that a significant portion of the population sees me as a potential incubator, not a person with my own desires and needs, you know? ghost emoji has issued a correction as of 22:08 on May 16, 2019 |
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May 16, 2019 22:02
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ghost emoji posted:
I'm donating to like 5 other causes right now because I have no idea how to help anything other than throwing money at it, but your post reminded me I intended to this earlier. 
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May 16, 2019 22:16
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Mordor She Wrote posted:I'm donating to like 5 other causes right now because I have no idea how to help anything other than throwing money at it, but your post reminded me I intended to this earlier. Thanks! I really should get a monthly donation going, too.
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May 16, 2019 22:20
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ghost emoji posted:I've got an IUD and my husband always uses condoms (and he is looking into getting a vasectomy). But I still get paranoid. I know it's irrational.
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May 16, 2019 22:48
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FactsAreUseless posted:Getting your tubes tied is definitely hard [note: basing this on my girlfriend's efforts] because a lot of doctors are misogynist and will all do the "but are you sure" thing and then just refuse, but if you have the health and the money to do it safely, and it is what you want, then just keep looking. You could try a local PP and see if they can refer you. That's a good idea - there's a couple of Planned Parenthoods nearby, so if the one I got my IUD at can't help, I can try the other ones. This helps a lot, thank you!
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May 16, 2019 23:01
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ghost emoji posted:That's a good idea - there's a couple of Planned Parenthoods nearby, so if the one I got my IUD at can't help, I can try the other ones. This helps a lot, thank you! *ones that don't require unusual surgical action to terminate e.g. ectopic ones
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May 17, 2019 00:20
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fau killin it in this thread 
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May 17, 2019 00:26
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Chokes McGee posted:fau killin it in this thread edit: Worse still, it's easy to forget that 1. you deserve help and 2. people will still help you when our socioeconomic system is defined by cruelty, but there are a surprising number of people trying to carve out a slightly happier society among their friends and neighbors and communities.
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May 17, 2019 00:32
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FactsAreUseless posted:It's not. You know rationally that it isn't reasonable, but suicidal ideation is a hell of a thing. Remove potential methods of self-harm or take yourself away from them, tell someone trusted and if you can't talk to a help line or a professional, spend time in public if possible, and remember that suicidal urges pass sooner than you think. You can also call a psych or a help line or some mental health resource now, since you've taken the important step of identifying your ideation, and they can help you set up a crisis plan and some coping exercises, and assist you in stopping this from reaching a dangerous point. You aren't alone and there are rational steps you can take to make yourself safer. What I'd want to do is genuinely renounce my citizenship, but there's nowhere that would take me and no way for me to get anywhere else. Thank you for responding so carefully, it's just... so frustrating to not want to be something and have no way out
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May 17, 2019 03:51
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this thread inspired me to make a recurring donation to PP too!
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May 17, 2019 03:56
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Grondoth posted:What I'd want to do is genuinely renounce my citizenship, but there's nowhere that would take me and no way for me to get anywhere else. Thank you for responding so carefully, it's just... so frustrating to not want to be something and have no way out
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May 17, 2019 03:57
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I think about getting my tubes tied fairly frequently, but I've been through three or four surgeries in my life now and I really don't relish going under the knife unless I absolutely have to. And it's not even that surgery's that bad, it's that loving liquid they make you drink to prep! It's like salt and hell and sin flavored with some kind of bullshit nameless fruit, and somehow that fruit is the most upsetting part.
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May 17, 2019 05:02
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Nae! posted:t's like salt and hell and sin flavored with some kind of bullshit nameless fruit, dont doxx me Smirking_Serpent posted:this thread inspired me to make a recurring donation to PP too! I love this thread so much 💕
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May 17, 2019 06:15
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UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 07:34 on Aug 30, 2019 |
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May 17, 2019 08:00
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Take it from someone who's travelled around the English speaking world to try to escape problems, it doesn't help much. There are conservatives/rednecks everywhere, and the left has negative opinions of Americans (they always think I am one). I dunno, it depends on where you go and how much respect you show them. Like, most of France isn't going to give you the time of day unless you speak their language with a decent accent no matter what. Other places (Greece? Scandinavia? Japan is the most extreme example) will be delighted if you make an honest effort to integrate into culture and/or speak language, even if you fall on your face in the process.
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May 17, 2019 17:04
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edit: wrong thread sorry
mad.radhu has issued a correction as of 18:52 on May 17, 2019 |
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May 17, 2019 18:13
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Take it from someone who's travelled around the English speaking world to try to escape problems, it doesn't help much. There are conservatives/rednecks everywhere, and the left has negative opinions of Americans (they always think I am one). Goon island offers right of return
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May 17, 2019 21:16
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my parents really hosed me up I feel like im catching up on stereotypical teenage milestones when im 25? 26? I don't remember how old I am. I'm learning how to play guitar and loitering with friends more now
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May 18, 2019 06:57
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Poniard posted:my parents really hosed me up I feel like im catching up on stereotypical teenage milestones when im 25? 26? I don't remember how old I am. I'm learning how to play guitar and loitering with friends more now I waited until 37 before I realized everything was bullshit got a taarakian tattoo and started hanging out with the wrong crew in cspam so youre ahead of me by far
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May 18, 2019 06:58
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UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 07:33 on Aug 30, 2019 |
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May 18, 2019 12:50
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Poniard posted:my parents really hosed me up I feel like im catching up on stereotypical teenage milestones when im 25? 26? I don't remember how old I am. I'm learning how to play guitar and loitering with friends more now same but I think that might just be the life doesnt start until your mid twenties now I also bought a mandolin in an attempt to find meaning in life by throwing money at things but I broke the strings in the first practice session and never picked it back up, Ive also never taken any sort of music lesson since the recorder in elementary school so it was probably bad idea
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May 18, 2019 15:43
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try a harmonica, hard to break and portable, and you can practice woody guthrie songs
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May 18, 2019 16:09
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also, anybody can sing. its music! even if youre bad at it, sing things in private. youll eventually get better, and even if youre tone deaf, who cares. its good for you anyway 
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May 18, 2019 17:05
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You just need to find the right song to suit your voice.
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May 18, 2019 22:28
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my saint of a grandmother, who was born in the 30s and still goes to Latin mass, was told by the nuns to just lip sync the hymns when she was a girl. my family are just the worst singers. the only song for my voice is doing the spoken word breakdown in an r&b song
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May 19, 2019 00:44
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FactsAreUseless posted:I'm not saying there is, I'm saying that committing suicide in response to those conditions is irrational. It's a mental illness. Maladaptive thinking. A cognitive error. Don't confuse right to die in the face of terminal illness for suicide being a rational response to world conditions. You can't address your suicidal ideation only be understanding that it's irrational, but the sooner you stop rationalizing it the sooner you'll be able to successfully get help. And you can do it. I once said to my therapist "the world is going to hell and I am just waiting until my parents die so I can kill myself". Her reply? A dead-eyed "So why are you even in therapy?" If this is the sort of "help" that's available in this country (Netherlands), I am loving screwed.
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May 19, 2019 17:10
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that's not a very good therapist
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May 19, 2019 17:29
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a good drinking buddy though
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May 19, 2019 17:34
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Wait are those different things poo poo
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May 19, 2019 17:40
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AceOfFlames posted:I once said to my therapist "the world is going to hell and I am just waiting until my parents die so I can kill myself". Her reply? A dead-eyed "So why are you even in therapy?" dont seek help from death crew it doesnt end well also get another therapist that one shouldnt even be practicing
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May 19, 2019 17:52
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