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May 30, 2024 21:59
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- Jabor
- Jul 16, 2010
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#1 Loser at SpaceChem
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it definitely happens that people are walking home and decide to do something about the giant piece of trash that someone dumped blocking the sidewalk
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May 22, 2019 09:12
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- Jabor
- Jul 16, 2010
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#1 Loser at SpaceChem
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Before you ask, I'm over it already, and seriously you can just walk around me the sidewalk is pretty wide here
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May 22, 2019 09:22
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- Randaconda
- Jul 3, 2014
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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lmao
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May 22, 2019 18:08
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- Son of Thunderbeast
- Sep 21, 2002
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What the hell were the cops gonna do about a baby's breathing problem? End it permanently?
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May 22, 2019 18:53
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- PhazonLink
- Jul 17, 2010
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throw a flash bang into its crib.
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May 22, 2019 18:59
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- Son of Thunderbeast
- Sep 21, 2002
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba8-Vjn2a8c
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May 22, 2019 19:17
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- Queen Combat
- Dec 29, 2017
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Lipstick Apathy
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If it's anything like the medical calls I've been on, probably obstruct the paramedics and interogate the victim.
Basically. Did the ambulance thing for five years. ACAB
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May 22, 2019 19:57
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- minato
- Jun 7, 2004
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cutty cain't hang, say 7-up.
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Taco Defender
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You learn toilet and shower routines when you're young and most people just don't veer from it because that's how they've always done it. This is how we get stories like the poop knife and the dude getting roasted for never washing his rear end in a top hat because "touching it is gay".
People go apeshit over whether or not you should use a washcloth, or stand up / sit down to wipe.
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May 22, 2019 20:01
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- Flash Gordon Ramsay
- Sep 28, 2004
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Grimey Drawer
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https://twitter.com/karter_kilburg/status/1128110611487916032
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May 22, 2019 20:05
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- Your Gay Uncle
- Feb 16, 2012
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by Fluffdaddy
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Man, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 had the budget cut.
Starburst Lord
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May 22, 2019 21:28
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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A post about a dude getting beat up by a bunch of people in the r/relationships thread led to me going back through his post history. Behold, the man who had between 8 and 12 people all beat him in fights he started in one month:
1 month ago: UPDATE: My girl is falling for another guy, what do I do?
quote:Hey guys, it’s been awhile.
I wanted to tell you all how everything ended up. So as some of you know after everything went down I ended up getting into a relationship with my friend and it just couldn’t last. I was so torn up with my recent break up and I still am. I’m still not over anything. I’m still really depressed. I still hardly talk to anyone. We lasted about 3 weeks and then I had to break up with her.
As for my girlfriend. Well, I give her a monthly check of $500 now as she blackmails me and tells me she will tell everyone my biggest secrets if I don’t. I tried to see if she was bluffing and she wasn’t so that’s where I’m at.
Our baby is coming really soon and I’m just worried I won’t be able to see him.
She is still dating the guy that she left me for and apparently they’re engaged now. She told me that she has more chemistry with him than me and that he’s actually the love of her life and that she is glad she met him.
She’s really happy. I’m not.
I got into a physical altercation with the dude like a month ago that ended up with me getting my rear end beat. I went over to drop money off and he was there and he started saying poo poo so I pushed him and then we ended up fighting on the ground but when I started to win my ex ran up and kicked me straight in the balls then her boyfriend beat my rear end.
So yeah, this update is not a happy one. I’m still broken. I hope it gets better soon.
She was just such a different person for 3 years while I was dating her. I didn’t know she would steal from me, blackmail me, assault me. She never seemed like she would do any of that. She claimed that we’d be together forever.
UPDATE: All 3 of us got arrested. - My girlfriend is falling for another guy what do I do?
quote:Okay guys.
I listened. Yesterday I called the non emergency police number and asked for someone to come to my house. I talked to a cop for about an hour and explained the entire situation. I showed him pictures of blackmail texts. I showed him pictures of my face after getting the poo poo kicked out of me. I showed him everything I needed to.
He said he had to go talk to them as well so he did and I filled out a report.
He arrested them. I was so loving happy. Then 2 hours later he came and arrested me as well.
Our charges-
Ex: Possesion of marijuana not over 20 grams, assault, extortion, petty theft, resisting arrest without violence, possession of controlled substance without prescription W intent to sell (I don’t know what that one is. I guess they found drugs on them when they arrested them) and probation violation (she previously got arrested on drug charges but I didn’t even know she was on probation)
Ex’s man: assault, resisting arrest without violence, possesion of controlled substance without prescription,
Me: assault
I’m being told by numerous people that I should get out of this okay but I’m still really scared. As far as I know they’re both still in jail but my dad bailed me out as soon as he could. It’s not a fun experience and I hope I don’t do any time.
She is literally about to have the baby anytime so I do feel bad that she just got arrested but I’m being told that both of them especially her are probably gonna do some time but I’m honestly just thinking about dropping charges.
On the other hand it’d be cool to have full custody over my child. I’m so torn.
I’m also getting texts from a bunch of her family members who don’t know the situation at all about how much of a piece of poo poo I am for getting her arrested and how I should’ve just moved on when she dumped my sorry rear end etc.
UPDATE: She just got bailed out and said she wants to get back together and that I should drop my charges against her and that she’d fight the rest. Considering she’s still engaged on Facebook I’m leaning more towards this being a trick on her part.
29 days ago: UPDATE: My girlfriend is falling for another guy, what do I do? FINAL UPDATE
quote:Hey guys.
I figured I’d give you one final update. Unless you guys want another one after court. Let me know.
We are all awaiting court. Mine is in 2 weeks and so is my exes. My ex’s boyfriends is in 3 weeks. I don’t think they will last though because it’s seriously looking like they’re gonna do some time. My lawyer is telling me he thinks they might get years. I forgot to add that she actually got charged for Fraud and identity theft as well because apparently she was trying to use my social security card for something. I’m really glad I listened to everyone and called the cops.
She keeps trying to tell me to get back together with her and that she’ll break up with the other guy and that we will have the life we were supposed to have. It sounds tempting but as soon as I drop those charges I know she’d run.
I’m not dropping anything. My son is currently at my house with me. I’m hoping to get full custody. If she somehow avoids jail it’s going to be very hard. But I’m going to try.
That’s it guys. I can update after court again if you want. Just let me know. I’m scared for court too because I don’t want to go to jail. My ex’s grandma is actually paying for all my legal fees because I told her the story and she always liked me and she felt really bad. She also gave me a very very hefty check and told me to take care of myself. My ex also gave me everything she stole from me back thinking it’d help her case. So I don’t need to work for probably the next 2 years and I’m going to rent my own apartment and just pay rent for the year in advance and then quit my job for awhile and figure out what I truly want to do in my life.
My ex is probably reading these as she keeps tabs on this Reddit account. I appreciate all the advice I have been given. I still miss her. I still love her. I still feel empty. If you guys can give any advice on where to go from here I’d appreciate it.
Honestly I’m a bit scared at what she may have planned next. I don’t know how far she will go to win against me or whatever she’s trying to do. I hope she doesn’t try anything serious but until court is over and they are roaming free I do fear for my safety.
I’m probably also going to hire a financial adviser for myself. And get their input on what I should do here. Honestly I may or may not quit. I might need to because of the baby. I make good money but I want to be there for my kid and I also want all my finances in order so it’s best to hire someone especially with me being this young I’m nervous to have this amount of money. I don’t want to lose it.
15 days ago: AITA for “assaulting” customer at work while awaiting court date for a previous assault?
quote:Hey guys.
My life continues to spiral downwards. Here’s the story.
I have been going through a lot lately. Like a lot. Let me tell you about my previous assault story first. So a while ago my girlfriend dumped me very harshly. Honestly I’m still not over it and it’s been months. All of this stuff is in my post history if you guys want proof. Anyways so basically after we broke up she was blackmailing me and I had to give her money every month. So one time when I was there her new boyfriend was saying stuff to me so I tackled him. He easily threw me off and punched me a few times. I grabbed his leg and he hit his head on the table and busted it open. I jumped up and punched him as many times as I could but it wasn’t really doing much and as he was trying to get up my ex girlfriend ran up and kicked me in the nuts. Then he punched me until I was basically passed out. We all got arrested and are waiting for court dates. On top of that there’s just been so much more going on.
So yesterday I was at work at my job at a grocery store I will not name. I was on break and a customer was trying to ask me a question but I couldn’t hear him because I had headphones in. So he grabbed my arm as I was walking by and yanked me towards him. Now I had no idea what was going on I just thought someone was attacking me so I whipped around and grabbed his shirt collar and slammed him against the shelf while ripping out my headphones. He pushed me back and slammed me against the other shelf across the isle and then we got into kinda a pushing match until he put me into a headlock and body slammed me into the ground and followed it up with an elbow to my nose. He then lost his poo poo screaming at me telling me that he should call the cops for me attacking him.
My manager knows that I’ve been going through a lot and he watched the security footage with the man and told the man that if he would like him to call the cops on him for attacking his employee he is fine with that. The man finally decided that he wasn’t going to get police involved. My manager said even though it wasn’t exactly my fault and that he knows what I’m going through that I’m on very thin ice and that I’m lucky no one else was in the isle cause I would’ve been fired if another customer saw. He said I need to pay more attention to my surroundings.
I don’t see how any of that is my fault? AITA?
14 days ago: I (19m) attacked my friend (20m) this morning and he beat me up now I have no one left. What do I do?
quote:Hey guys.
So this morning my friend and I got into a fight. Last night we were talking about political stuff. Now I’m a bleeding heart liberal and he is a die hard republican. He constantly shows me these stupid videos on YouTube by StevenCrowder and last night there was one where the guy was saying there’s only 2 genders. We got into an argument and then it ended. This morning he was still at my house and he told me he can’t believe that I think the way I do. We got pretty heated and then I started punching him. And then he tried to hold me back so I punched him again and then he unloaded on me and started punching me repeadtly until I stopped and then I tried to attack him again and then he put me in a headlock and held it until I calmed down. He left and said not to talk to him anymore. He said that I’ve gone insane and he doesn’t know how to help me anymore.
I don’t know what to do. I have no one except my kid at this point. I keep getting into trouble and fights and my life just keeps spiraling into nothing. I’m so sad all of the time. I miss my ex so much. Where do I go from here?
I do not have full custody of my kid as of right now. My parents do not think it is safe and they are the caretaker of my child until my mental health gets better. I was raising him alone for a bit but not at this moment I’ve been honest with them about what’s been going on in my life and they think I need a therapist or something and they have the child.
20 hours ago: I just got into a physical fight with my dad, how do I apologize?
quote:I (19m) just got into a huge physical fight with my (36m) dad. He was telling me that I needed to get my life together when he was visiting my apartment with my son (my son currently lives with him). I got really angry and started screaming in his face and then he told me to back off and I didn’t. This went on for a few minutes and then I pushed him a couple times and then swung at him. He dodged the punch and grabbed my arm and slammed me to the ground using it. I then reached up trying to hit him again and he punched me 2 times in the face. All while screaming for me to chill out. I then tried throwing him off of me and we wrestled for a minute until he got one last punch in and I just laid there.
He helped me up and then told me that with the way I’m acting I’m about to lose everyone in my life. He said he was very disappointed in me and then left my house with my son who I only got to see for a few minutes before all this happened. What do I even do at this point. I don’t want to lose everyone. How do I say sorry?
I am trying to renew my life. I just went through a horrific horrific break up with the mother of my child and she is currently in jail serving years. I’ve just laid around and started random different tv shows (right now I’m on Ozark) and went to work at my job that I’m hanging on by a thread to. I do have more than enough money to last me for a long long time but I’d like to at least have a job and I’m glad that I’m not blowing my money I’m doing good at keeping it stacking up other than bills of course. I am going on a date tonight though for the first time in a while. I’m not over my ex really but if I move on then eventually I have to be. It’s with a girl on tinder. It’s going to be a little tough explaining the beat up face and I’m already pretty drunk and it’s in 30 minutes. We are supposed to go out to eat at this restraint like 5 minutes from my house so I’ll probably just walk and then we are going to come back to my house and watch a movie. So let’s hope tonight goes good.
I (19m) got beat up defending my (19f) date tonight and then afterwards my date beat me up. How do I apologize to her and where do I go from here?
quote:I knew I shouldn’t of gone on this date.
I just got through a insane break up and I’m not truly over her yet to be real. Anyways everyone tells me I need to get back into it it’s been months but I still love my ex.
Anyways. So I’ve been speaking to this girl on tinder for about a week now and I finally decided it’s time. So I asked her on a date and we went on it tonight. We were to go out to eat and then come back to my apartment to watch a movie after.
Earlier in the night I got into a physical fight with my dad. He was telling me I need to get my life back in order and I attacked him and he beat my rear end. I already showed up to the date with a black eye and I was slightly drunk as well (I walked).
Dinner was okaybut kinda awkward. I was very nervous as she is beautiful. She is a straight 9.5. but when we were walking out in the parking lot a guy stared at her butt at whistled and went to grab it. She was walking too fast so he missed. So I instantly grabbed him and tried to put his head through the window of his car. His head only hit the window so then he grabbed me and threw me up against the car and I got punched probably 10 times and I fell to the floor gasping for air and my date quickly ran up screaming and then I got up and we ran away.
So we get back to my house and I clean up and then we calm down and watch our movie. The night comes to a close and she says she’s gonna head out (she drove). She thanked me for the date and said that she really really really appreciated me standing up for her but she doesn’t think she’d like to see each other again and that she wanted to be upfront about it and just let me know instead of ghosting me and she said she kinda felt like she owed me another date cause I got beat up for her but that she just wasn’t into it.
She said she’d really like to remain friends but that we just don’t match like that. I’ll admit the night was kinda awkward and she said she wanted someone with more interests in common with her. She likes to work out. We like different music. She’s on the more republican end of things I’m Democrat.
I freaked out and I regret it a lot. I was depressed from the rejection. I grabbed her arm and just asked if we could please try one more time and she tried to pull away and said I was hurting her. I didn’t let go so she immediately kneed me in the balls and I fell to my knees and in shock I wrapped my arms around her leg and she fell over. She then started kicking me in the face repeatedly and her toe poked me in the eye. All I saw was green (her toe nail color) and then my eye hurt really bad and then it started watering like crazy. By this time she was yelling to stop. But I was very disoriented and a little angry. I’m also pretty drunk by now cause I started drinking again once we got back. So I grabbed her foot and pulled on it for some reason and she got to her knees and put me into a rear naked choke and wrapped her legs around my body. I couldn’t move and I was extremely close to passing out and then I started thrashing my arms and hit her in the nose I think.
She eased up and I twisted around and then she got on top and had her hands around my throat and was choking me. By this time she was crying and pleading for me to stop. She again choked me to me almost passing out until I mustered every ounce of strength I had (I’m weak I’m like 5’9 and 115) she’s like 5’8 but I know she out weighs me by a lot cause she seems to be very fit and muscle kinda. So I finally kinda get on top and she wraps her legs and chokes me in like a scissor triangle type of choke with her thighs and this time she gets me to pass out. By the time I come to she’s gone.
I don’t know what to do. I already checked but I’m blocked on everything by her. My entire body hurts. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I want to apologize and explain things. The only thing I know is where she works. Should I go and at least apologize?
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve had my rear end beaten in the past month or so. My body aches and I think my nose is broken this time it keeps leaking blood and it hasn’t stopped hurting and it looks a little crooked. I have two black eyes and bruises and cuts all over my body.
I got fired from work today for coming in with two black eyes and then I attacked my manager, he says he will be pressing charges. What the hell do I do?
quote:Hey guys.
I am in Georgia. Long story short I’ve been having a lot of problems lately. I’ve gotten into too many fights to count recently. Last night I got beat up 3 times by 3 different people. My entire body ached this morning I could barely get out of bed.
So today I went into work. My manager has warned me that I am on thin ice as the other week I had some issues that got physical with a customer but he basically bent the rules in my favor because I think he did like me before and he knew I was going through a tough time.
Today I showed up to work limping and with two black eyes and cuts and bruises all over my face. I started bagging at a register and I saw him come out of his office, look at me, walk over to another bagger and talk to him and then walk straight back into his office. The other bagger then approached me and said I was wanted in his office.
I went into his office he sat me down asked me what happened. I didn’t want to lie so I was just completely honest and I told him about my entire day yesterday. (I got beat up by my dad and then I went on a date and someone tried to grab my dates butt so I got beat up defending her. Then later she said she wasnt interested in seeing each other again and I freaked out and grabbed her so she beat me up and choked me out). He then said I was fired because I was too much of a liability at this point. I was immediately enraged and while I regret this i took my arm and cleared his desk of everything. I then took a swing at him and connected but he was not fazed by it and he grabbed my head and slammed me into the desk and onto the floor and held me there. Then two other employees ran in and they then all dragged me out through the back exit of the store. One of them literally body slamming me right through the back door. The manager then said I was never welcome back in the store and that he was going to pull the camera footage and call the police and press charges “for my own good because I need help”. What do I do? I’m just waiting for police to knock on my door I don’t know if he was being serious or not.
This guy's gonna somehow get Internet access from prison to tell us about how he tried to fight the biggest dude in there and got shanked.
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May 22, 2019 22:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 21:59
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- orange sky
- May 7, 2007
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Man, that is amazing
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May 22, 2019 22:32
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May 22, 2019 07:24
