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A blessing E: fuk E2: curse 2 is it's rotated for some reason
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# ? May 23, 2019 05:20 |
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# ? May 24, 2024 02:45 |
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JcDent posted:I think the ad says "box" If you're gonna do anal wine then the wine that comes in an enema bag with a nozzle is extremely super-optimal.
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# ? May 23, 2019 05:23 |
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Oscar Wild posted:https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/1131272760225947653?s=19 Blessed
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# ? May 23, 2019 05:28 |
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JcDent posted:I think the ad says "box" But what is a poor husband to do? To get his wife in the bedroom, he had to think things through. Then his plan started to begin. The husband grinned a wicked, Grinchy grin. “Hey honey, how about we drink some wine and have a quiet night in?” His wife sighed and she hemmed and she hawed. “I’ll just have a glass,” she said, then muttering “you sod.” Like a flash he went to the cupboard, he knew just the thing. A box of Traveling Vineyard wine he got last Spring. It was warm, it had mellowed - the white letters on the box had yellowed. But it was potent, it said. The ABV was written in red! He bought it on a whim from someone on Facebook - someone whose advice he happily took. Anal! The man said. This wine was your ticket to bed. So he ripped open the box, and pulled out the stopper. A quick stab through the cardboard, he thought, then surely I’ve got her. He slammed it into the side, but the box slid away. He tried again and again, but the box wouldn’t stay. He pushed and he prodded, until it finally gave way. “Got it in!” he yelled out. “Heard that before” his wife thought, rolling her eyes, “it was nothing to tout.” He filled up the glasses - first one, then two. He couldn’t believe his plan was working - had he thought it through? He sat next to his wife, and handed her a glass. “Maybe tonight you’ll let me get up in that rear end.” She was disgusted - what did he think? That to get her in bed would only take a drink? She was tired of the erectile dysfunction. She was tired of foreplay without gumption. All that he seemed to know how to do was thrust once, twice, and then thrice, then out came his goo. She had enough. It was time. She knew what to do. “I can’t take this anymore. We’re through.” She poured the wine in his lap, and stood to leave, as a matter of course. “Enjoy your Traveling Vineyard,” she said as she turned. “It won’t get you my rear end, but it got you a divorce.”
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# ? May 23, 2019 06:00 |
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Eldercain posted:A blessing Yeah, it's self-advertising, but I thought it was pretty established that is true that paper towels lead to more hygienic bathrooms than hand dryers.
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# ? May 23, 2019 07:34 |
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Remember those dyson hand dryers that cost a gorillion dollars and blew bacteria directly into your eyes?
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# ? May 23, 2019 07:37 |
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JcDent posted:*is goonrushed by wine nerds with opinions on wine vessels* For me it’s krater or nothing.
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# ? May 23, 2019 08:17 |
Volcott posted:Remember those dyson hand dryers that cost a gorillion dollars and blew bacteria directly into your eyes? that anti dison poster from a couple weeks ago did nothing wrong
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# ? May 23, 2019 08:18 |
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# ? May 23, 2019 08:42 |
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Blue Moonlight posted:But what is a poor husband to do? To get his wife in the bedroom, he had to think things through. Then his plan started to begin. The husband grinned a wicked, Grinchy grin. Nice
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# ? May 23, 2019 13:19 |
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I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here... https://www.nbc12.com/2019/05/16/loved-death-is-euthanizing-pets-be-buried-with-dead-owners-ok/
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# ? May 23, 2019 13:21 |
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I mean, no obviously. If you leave explicit instructions for your pet to be murdered and buried with you because you love it so much, you don't love that animal. Also what a horrible thing to learn about someone. "Sweet Nan, so charitable and friendly and a force for good in her community. Looks like she left some instructions on how to handle her end. Oh, look, Fluffy is mentioned here. "
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# ? May 23, 2019 13:32 |
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New STALKER game is lookin' good!
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# ? May 23, 2019 14:16 |
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I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from?
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# ? May 23, 2019 14:33 |
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Cartoon Man posted:I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here... Better than passing the dog on to some family member who never wanted the drat thing to begin with. The dog would just end up in a shelter and killed a couple weeks later. Everyone wins.
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# ? May 23, 2019 14:38 |
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ugh
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:03 |
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Chrpno posted:ugh Blursed? Content:
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:03 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from? The villa at Ormen
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:04 |
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loving phone posting.
MrUnderbridge fucked around with this message at 15:12 on May 23, 2019 |
# ? May 23, 2019 15:10 |
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JcDent posted:I think the ad says "box" Hey, whatever fits.
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:12 |
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Cartoon Man posted:I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here... Pretty sure it's in the Something Awful TOS that when Lowtax dies we're all getting entombed with him, so sure, bring the pets, too.
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:15 |
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DandyLion posted:The villa at Ormen Lol, nice
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:15 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from? Oleg Vdovenko
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:19 |
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DandyLion posted:The villa at Ormen Doubt it. There are multiple candles in this picture.
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:27 |
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Chrpno posted:ugh Pretty cheap, but they screw you on the s&h. "When you said it was going to shipped 'now', well, when exactly do you mean?"
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:36 |
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Winklebottom posted:Oleg Vdovenko these are rad as hell.
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# ? May 23, 2019 15:39 |
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LifeSunDeath posted:these are rad as hell. yeah he rocks, check his artstation: https://www.artstation.com/chuvabak this is another great artist I like, he's also very good at rendering creepy lighting and surfaces in 2D paintings: https://www.artstation.com/bonekrishna
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# ? May 23, 2019 16:12 |
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Doom Eternal lookin pretty fleshy
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# ? May 23, 2019 16:15 |
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LawfulWaffle posted:Pretty cheap, but they screw you on the s&h. "When you said it was going to shipped 'now', well, when exactly do you mean?" What difference does it make?
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# ? May 23, 2019 16:23 |
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So does this mean they love it when Jesus uses a bow to kill animals? or they like to hunt down and kill Jesus with a bow? or that the way to identify a real man is by their love of Jesus which they demonstrate while bowhunting?
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# ? May 23, 2019 16:54 |
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Clearly it's a list of all the things real men love: bowhunting and Jesus. Women don't make the list
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# ? May 23, 2019 17:05 |
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well you know if you read the bible... ephebians 4:20, 'and jesus said to him, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and he who is awesome shoot me with a bow like i was unto a deer of the fields"'
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# ? May 23, 2019 17:12 |
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Vanity Fair
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# ? May 23, 2019 17:43 |
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crosspost with the Talk with Transformer thread
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# ? May 23, 2019 17:54 |
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gently caress you
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:03 |
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Am I having a stroke?
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:03 |
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:08 |
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I can’t tell if the author has a bigger hard-on for Margot Robbie or for Australia. I think they want to gently caress a continent.
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:13 |
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I mean, if I had to pick it would be ketchup. It's just so feminine and flirty. In fact I'd say that ketchup is.....oh... OH! Continent. Yeah, that is weird man.
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:19 |
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# ? May 24, 2024 02:45 |
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Dijonnaise is the sexiest condiment because it has the sexiest name.
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# ? May 23, 2019 18:22 |