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Feline Mind Meld
Jun 14, 2007

I'm pretty creeped out

A blessing

E: fuk



E2: curse 2 is it's rotated for some reason

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The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

JcDent posted:

I think the ad says "box"

So your daterape wine doesn't even come in bottles

*is goonrushed by wine nerds with opinions on wine vessels*

If you're gonna do anal wine then the wine that comes in an enema bag with a nozzle is extremely super-optimal.

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

by sebmojo

Blessed

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

JcDent posted:

I think the ad says "box"

So your daterape wine doesn't even come in bottles

*is goonrushed by wine nerds with opinions on wine vessels*

But what is a poor husband to do? To get his wife in the bedroom, he had to think things through. Then his plan started to begin. The husband grinned a wicked, Grinchy grin.

“Hey honey, how about we drink some wine and have a quiet night in?”

His wife sighed and she hemmed and she hawed. “I’ll just have a glass,” she said, then muttering “you sod.”

Like a flash he went to the cupboard, he knew just the thing. A box of Traveling Vineyard wine he got last Spring. It was warm, it had mellowed - the white letters on the box had yellowed. But it was potent, it said. The ABV was written in red!

He bought it on a whim from someone on Facebook - someone whose advice he happily took. Anal! The man said. This wine was your ticket to bed.

So he ripped open the box, and pulled out the stopper. A quick stab through the cardboard, he thought, then surely I’ve got her. He slammed it into the side, but the box slid away. He tried again and again, but the box wouldn’t stay. He pushed and he prodded, until it finally gave way.

“Got it in!” he yelled out. “Heard that before” his wife thought, rolling her eyes, “it was nothing to tout.” He filled up the glasses - first one, then two. He couldn’t believe his plan was working - had he thought it through?

He sat next to his wife, and handed her a glass. “Maybe tonight you’ll let me get up in that rear end.” She was disgusted - what did he think? That to get her in bed would only take a drink?

She was tired of the erectile dysfunction. She was tired of foreplay without gumption. All that he seemed to know how to do was thrust once, twice, and then thrice, then out came his goo. She had enough. It was time. She knew what to do.

“I can’t take this anymore. We’re through.” She poured the wine in his lap, and stood to leave, as a matter of course. “Enjoy your Traveling Vineyard,” she said as she turned. “It won’t get you my rear end, but it got you a divorce.”

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Eldercain posted:

A blessing

E: fuk



E2: curse 2 is it's rotated for some reason

Yeah, it's self-advertising, but I thought it was pretty established that is true that paper towels lead to more hygienic bathrooms than hand dryers. :shrug:

Volcott
Mar 30, 2010

People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.
Remember those dyson hand dryers that cost a gorillion dollars and blew bacteria directly into your eyes?

Rascar Capac
Aug 31, 2016

Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

JcDent posted:

*is goonrushed by wine nerds with opinions on wine vessels*

For me it’s krater or nothing.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Volcott posted:

Remember those dyson hand dryers that cost a gorillion dollars and blew bacteria directly into your eyes?

that anti dison poster from a couple weeks ago did nothing wrong :colbert:

redm
Feb 20, 2016


Sugartime Jones

i own every Bionicle
Oct 23, 2005

cstm ttle? kthxbye

Blue Moonlight posted:

But what is a poor husband to do? To get his wife in the bedroom, he had to think things through. Then his plan started to begin. The husband grinned a wicked, Grinchy grin.

“Hey honey, how about we drink some wine and have a quiet night in?”

His wife sighed and she hemmed and she hawed. “I’ll just have a glass,” she said, then muttering “you sod.”

Like a flash he went to the cupboard, he knew just the thing. A box of Traveling Vineyard wine he got last Spring. It was warm, it had mellowed - the white letters on the box had yellowed. But it was potent, it said. The ABV was written in red!

He bought it on a whim from someone on Facebook - someone whose advice he happily took. Anal! The man said. This wine was your ticket to bed.

So he ripped open the box, and pulled out the stopper. A quick stab through the cardboard, he thought, then surely I’ve got her. He slammed it into the side, but the box slid away. He tried again and again, but the box wouldn’t stay. He pushed and he prodded, until it finally gave way.

“Got it in!” he yelled out. “Heard that before” his wife thought, rolling her eyes, “it was nothing to tout.” He filled up the glasses - first one, then two. He couldn’t believe his plan was working - had he thought it through?

He sat next to his wife, and handed her a glass. “Maybe tonight you’ll let me get up in that rear end.” She was disgusted - what did he think? That to get her in bed would only take a drink?

She was tired of the erectile dysfunction. She was tired of foreplay without gumption. All that he seemed to know how to do was thrust once, twice, and then thrice, then out came his goo. She had enough. It was time. She knew what to do.

“I can’t take this anymore. We’re through.” She poured the wine in his lap, and stood to leave, as a matter of course. “Enjoy your Traveling Vineyard,” she said as she turned. “It won’t get you my rear end, but it got you a divorce.”

Nice

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here...

:negative:



https://www.nbc12.com/2019/05/16/loved-death-is-euthanizing-pets-be-buried-with-dead-owners-ok/

LawfulWaffle
Mar 11, 2014

Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.
I mean, no obviously. If you leave explicit instructions for your pet to be murdered and buried with you because you love it so much, you don't love that animal. Also what a horrible thing to learn about someone. "Sweet Nan, so charitable and friendly and a force for good in her community. Looks like she left some instructions on how to handle her end. Oh, look, Fluffy is mentioned here. :stonk:"

Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012





New STALKER game is lookin' good!

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009


I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from?

IG-88
Apr 21, 2019


Cartoon Man posted:

I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here...

:negative:



https://www.nbc12.com/2019/05/16/loved-death-is-euthanizing-pets-be-buried-with-dead-owners-ok/

Better than passing the dog on to some family member who never wanted the drat thing to begin with. The dog would just end up in a shelter and killed a couple weeks later. Everyone wins.

Chrpno
Apr 17, 2006

ugh

Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012





Blursed?

Content:

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from?

The villa at Ormen

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

loving phone posting.

MrUnderbridge fucked around with this message at 15:12 on May 23, 2019

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

JcDent posted:

I think the ad says "box"

Hey, whatever fits.

Moon Slayer
Jun 19, 2007

Cartoon Man posted:

I was going to put this in the weird headlines thread but felt it was more appropriate to go here...

:negative:



https://www.nbc12.com/2019/05/16/loved-death-is-euthanizing-pets-be-buried-with-dead-owners-ok/

Pretty sure it's in the Something Awful TOS that when Lowtax dies we're all getting entombed with him, so sure, bring the pets, too.

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



DandyLion posted:

The villa at Ormen

Lol, nice

Winklebottom
Dec 19, 2007

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

I really like the aesthetic of this one. wheres it from?

Oleg Vdovenko



Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

DandyLion posted:

The villa at Ormen

Doubt it. There are multiple candles in this picture.

LawfulWaffle
Mar 11, 2014

Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

Pretty cheap, but they screw you on the s&h. "When you said it was going to shipped 'now', well, when exactly do you mean?"

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Winklebottom posted:

Oleg Vdovenko





these are rad as hell.

necroid
May 14, 2009

LifeSunDeath posted:

these are rad as hell.

yeah he rocks, check his artstation: https://www.artstation.com/chuvabak

this is another great artist I like, he's also very good at rendering creepy lighting and surfaces in 2D paintings: https://www.artstation.com/bonekrishna



Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

Doom Eternal lookin pretty fleshy

Chrpno
Apr 17, 2006

LawfulWaffle posted:

Pretty cheap, but they screw you on the s&h. "When you said it was going to shipped 'now', well, when exactly do you mean?"

What difference does it make?

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008


So does this mean they love it when Jesus uses a bow to kill animals? or they like to hunt down and kill Jesus with a bow? or that the way to identify a real man is by their love of Jesus which they demonstrate while bowhunting?

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa
Clearly it's a list of all the things real men love: bowhunting and Jesus.

Women don't make the list :gay:

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
well you know if you read the bible...

ephebians 4:20, 'and jesus said to him, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and he who is awesome shoot me with a bow like i was unto a deer of the fields"'

Beelzebufo
Mar 5, 2015

Frog puns are toadally awesome




Vanity Fair

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
crosspost with the Talk with Transformer thread

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

gently caress you

Solar Tornado
Aug 9, 2016

A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained
Am I having a stroke?

redm
Feb 20, 2016


Sugartime Jones

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

I can’t tell if the author has a bigger hard-on for Margot Robbie or for Australia.

I think they want to gently caress a continent.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
I mean, if I had to pick it would be ketchup. It's just so feminine and flirty. In fact I'd say that ketchup is.....oh... OH! Continent. Yeah, that is weird man.

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Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009
Dijonnaise is the sexiest condiment because it has the sexiest name.

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