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"machine learning" is an exciting technology which allows computers to become more racist than ever before. silicon valley loves it because it lets them squeeze more money out of the massive amounts of surveillance data they've got sitting around. however, most of the time it doesn't actually work. FAQ: Q: how do i machine learning? acquire a large amount of illegally harvested user data. feed it to your computer. trust whatever the computer spits out Q: how should i use machine learning? don't use machine learning Q: what is deep learning? deep learning is when you use your graphics card to do machine learning. deep learning is only useful for speech synthesis and niche pornography Q: is machine learning going to cause the singularity? no. machine learning exists exclusively to allow hiring managers and advertising executives be racist slightly more efficiently Q: how do i acquire machine learning figgies? get a phd. sorry, i don't make the rules Q: what is the 'kernel trick'? a sex act performed by talented professionals in a particularly exclusive gentleman's club on the outskirts of Reno animist fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Nov 18, 2020 |
# ? May 25, 2019 22:16 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 02:01 |
we can teach a machine to learn, but can we teach a machine to love?
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# ? May 25, 2019 22:45 |
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"I got that reference" but it's a cybernetic Captain America from some Marvel one off.
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# ? May 25, 2019 23:38 |
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how do we do anti-machine learning things like how do we create more bogus user data that will gently caress with machine learning poo poo
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# ? May 26, 2019 00:05 |
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:how do we do anti-machine learning things like how do we create more bogus user data that will gently caress with machine learning poo poo i always lie on the youtube quizzes that show up sometimes there's also adversarial examples which are basically optical illusions for attacking deep learning systems: those are pretty crazy, like you can wear pixelly facepaint at a protest to trick facial recognition systems
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# ? May 26, 2019 00:14 |
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obligatory ceglowski quote incomingquote:[T]reating the world as software promotes fantasies of control. And the best kind of control is control without responsibility. Our unique position as authors of software used by millions gives us power, but we don't accept that this should make us accountable. We're programmers—who else is going to write the software that runs the world? To put it plainly, we are surprised that people seem to get mad at us for trying to help.
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# ? May 26, 2019 00:16 |
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animist posted:i always lie on the youtube quizzes that show up sometimes the government has probably moved on to gait matching anyways
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# ? May 26, 2019 03:05 |
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isnt that also hilariously defeatable by simply putting a rock in your shoe
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# ? May 26, 2019 03:54 |
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we do ~*UBA*~ software and after years of management crying we don't have machine learning and can't sell anything without it, we finally released something and barely any of our customers give a poo poo aside from a checkmark on an RFP.
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# ? May 26, 2019 14:42 |
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power botton posted:we do ~*UBA*~ software and after years of management crying we don't have machine learning and can't sell anything without it, we finally released something and barely any of our customers give a poo poo aside from a checkmark on an RFP. it's well known that customers care deeply about the implementation details of the software they use
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# ? May 27, 2019 00:11 |
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if your job is to purchase enterprise software from ISVs, you learn very loving quickly to care about the implementation details
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# ? May 27, 2019 00:24 |
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Fiedler posted:if your job is to purchase enterprise software from ISVs, you learn very loving quickly to care about the implementation details i cannot reconcile this statement with a lifetime of working with and on enterprise software.
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# ? May 27, 2019 06:28 |
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something needs to provide executive function on top of all the pattern marchers people have been building symbolic AI is coming back for sure 2019 year of cyc
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# ? May 27, 2019 07:26 |
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executing the pattern matchers sounds like a good plan to me
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# ? May 27, 2019 08:48 |
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animist posted:it's well known that customers care deeply about the implementation details of the software they use for certain things we advertise they certainly do and really put us through the paces (Mainly pass the hash detection). for the ML bullshit they're like oh great, I don't even have to see it generate anything during the eval, at least I can get my boss off my back saying you guys to do it.
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# ? May 27, 2019 22:59 |
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we use HDBSCAN btw
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# ? May 27, 2019 23:04 |
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this is the thread where i post ML is money laundering but for bias and then don't attribute it because i don't remember where it came from, right
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# ? May 28, 2019 15:24 |
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i'm going to start a new branch of computing called woke algorithmics
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# ? May 28, 2019 16:01 |
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i think if we teach the computers about intersectionality the bias problem will just go away
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# ? May 28, 2019 16:03 |
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humans are a bad example to learn from imo, we should focus on machine teaching and learn the emotionless ways of 1s and 0s from our robotic superiors
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# ? May 28, 2019 16:32 |
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https://twitter.com/yiqinfu/status/1133215940936650754 i call this the 'i'm single-arity'
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# ? May 28, 2019 16:44 |
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wonder if we'll see a surge in amateur porn uploads if pornhub automatically deepfakes the faces to some long dead pornstars' before publishing the vids
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# ? May 28, 2019 17:55 |
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:https://twitter.com/yiqinfu/status/1133215940936650754 no part of this is good
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# ? May 28, 2019 18:00 |
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huhwhat posted:wonder if we'll see a surge in amateur porn uploads if pornhub automatically deepfakes the faces to some long dead pornstars' before publishing the vids there should be one where you can upload pictures of your own face and then you can jack off to porn where the male pornstars faces have bene replaced with your own DONT THREAD ON ME fucked around with this message at 18:04 on May 28, 2019 |
# ? May 28, 2019 18:02 |
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except it should be for penises so i can pretend i can satisfy a woman with my tiny little pecker
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# ? May 28, 2019 18:51 |
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power botton posted:except it should be for penises so i can pretend i can satisfy a woman with my tiny little pecker ithought about that too, it's going to be a stretch goal
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# ? May 28, 2019 18:54 |
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machine learning is matrices with racism inside
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# ? May 28, 2019 18:59 |
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http://oneweirdkerneltrick.com/
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# ? May 28, 2019 18:59 |
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Bloody posted:machine learning is matrices with racism inside
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# ? May 28, 2019 19:03 |
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i didnt read the op because its long and im sleepy but i will soon
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# ? May 28, 2019 20:29 |
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I dident read it and I never will
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# ? May 28, 2019 20:31 |
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:there should be one where you can upload pictures of your own face and then you can jack off to porn where the male pornstars faces have bene replaced with your own plot twits: you only watch male j/o videos anyway
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# ? May 28, 2019 20:34 |
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Bloody posted:machine learning is matrices with racism inside
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# ? May 28, 2019 21:30 |
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i like the funny markov rnn bots it's a shame that they'll trigger the butlerian jihad soon when the net is 98% troll bots
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# ? May 28, 2019 21:42 |
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:ithought about that too, it's going to be a stretch goal laughing about a penis stretch goal. thx op
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# ? May 29, 2019 03:23 |
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:there should be one where you can upload pictures of your own face and then you can jack off to porn where the male pornstars faces have bene replaced with your own if you do this you'll be a trillionaire
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# ? May 29, 2019 03:29 |
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Helianthus Annuus posted:laughing about a penis stretch goal. thx op Every morning I wake up and open palm hang a 50 pound weight off the end of my dongus
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# ? May 29, 2019 03:37 |
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Sagebrush posted:if you do this you'll be a trillionaire i'd only do it if there were a way to prevent people from using it to deep fake other people. maybe you could engineer some sort of placard that you could mail them and then they could hold it up in their photos to verify their id or something. e: yeah i dont think you could prevent abuse. DONT THREAD ON ME fucked around with this message at 04:39 on May 29, 2019 |
# ? May 29, 2019 03:39 |
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Asleep Style posted:Every morning I wake up and open palm hang a 50 pound weight off the end of my dongus Sagebrush posted:if you do this you'll be a trillionaire
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# ? May 29, 2019 13:44 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 02:01 |
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we replaced a vendors "ml" process with an afternoon writing regexes and got better result. seems like a rip off op, I wouldn't buy again.
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# ? May 29, 2019 13:48 |