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Jaguars!
Jul 31, 2012


Flikken posted:

Wtf does a kiwi need with armored steel?

It's a step up from the last tank we built

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Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Jaguars! posted:

It's a step up from the last tank we built

loving god drat

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country
Idea: stop construction of the wall by encouraging Trump to demand more expensive features.

"It needs to be painted flat black with gold leaf trim, have the name TRUMP painted on it, and laser cannons!"

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

BigDave posted:

Idea: stop construction of the wall by encouraging Trump to demand more expensive features.

"It needs to be painted flat black with gold leaf trim, have the name TRUMP painted on it, and laser cannons!"

No, just tell him it'd look better in stainless.

e: It's a dumb enough plan to appeal to his ego it might work.

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

Hexyflexy posted:

I live where Threads was filmed. Makes all the specialist steels for our nuclear reactors and various weapons (and a bunch of yours). Downside, it's on the target list, upside, I can phone up a guy down the foundry and get a couple of tons of battleship plate armour cheap.

We are almost neighbours - I live at what used to be RAF Finningley which was nuked in Threads (and probably still sits on a target list due to the long runway).

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

BigDave posted:



Here's the unofficial target list.

Triangles are a 500 warhead strike, black dots are a 2000 warhead strike.

Kiss most of Montana and North Dakota goodbye in a 2000 warhead strike.

What dumbfuck made that map and didn't include Mount Weather?

What, they're just assuming a notional nuclear adversary isn't going to *try* to take out the backup sites?

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Hexyflexy posted:

No, just tell him it'd look better in stainless.

e: It's a dumb enough plan to appeal to his ego it might work.

"I'm sorry Mr. President, we can't build the wall yet."

"WHY NOT?!"

"It doesn't look badass enough."

"...You have my attention. What do you need to make this the best wall ever?"

"Holograms, Mr. President. Holograms and robots, every ten feet."

"loving do it!"

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Also Raven Rock is a secondary target for some reason.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

pantslesswithwolves posted:

I work within a quarter mile of the White House and a mile of USNO and Jarvanka’s residence. Vas is gonna get the canned sunshine about a half second before me.

I live a few blocks from a Navy base in San Diego. Depending on who launches I'll be in ashes before all of you.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Miami is already 2ft from the sun anyways, I don't see how cracking open a can of sunshine here can make it much hotter.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

ill take a breast man

Password?

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

EBB posted:

Password?

Hunter42

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

LongDarkNight
Oct 25, 2010

It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.
Oven Wrangler
Im just close enough to the state capitol that it will be fallout that gets me.

The survivors will envy the dead and all that.

Nystral
Feb 6, 2002

Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

BigDave posted:



Here's the unofficial target list.

Triangles are a 500 warhead strike, black dots are a 2000 warhead strike.

Kiss most of Montana and North Dakota goodbye in a 2000 warhead strike.

WTF is in Orlando still of strategic importance to warrant nuking in at a 500 warhead level? The navy base closed like 25 years ago.

Beepity Boop
Nov 21, 2012

yay

Nystral posted:

WTF is in Orlando still of strategic importance to warrant nuking in at a 500 warhead level? The navy base closed like 25 years ago.

IIRC, that list was based on the 1991 update of what what we expected the Soviets to do, so that's 28 years ago.

Qtotonibudinibudet
Nov 7, 2011



Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki
At least I can die happy when the nuclear fire comes, knowing that Lynchburg has been wiped off the map.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
Wait, is that supposed to be 500/2000 per site? Because that's probably well above what the soviets had if that's per site. They peaked about what, 14k nukes?

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Hremsfeld posted:

IIRC, that list was based on the 1991 update of what what we expected the Soviets to do, so that's 28 years ago.

Some of those targets don't make sense for 1991 either.

What's that one dot at the Canadain-Washington-Idaho border?

And they assigned a single warhead to Boise but couldn't think to put Mountain Home on the target list?

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Wait, is that supposed to be 500/2000 per site? Because that's probably well above what the soviets had if that's per site. They peaked about what, 14k nukes?

500/2000 total.

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Wait, is that supposed to be 500/2000 per site? Because that's probably well above what the soviets had if that's per site. They peaked about what, 14k nukes?

It’s total in a full strike. It’s also also a bit weird, in the 2000 warhead strike, if I was the soviet nuke commander I wouldn’t bother hitting the American silos with all those warheads at all - it’s a given they’re expended, and in WW3, effectively forever.

I’d hit absolutely everything else 10 times. Because, gently caress it.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Nystral posted:

WTF is in Orlando still of strategic importance to warrant nuking in at a 500 warhead level? The navy base closed like 25 years ago.

Probably guaranteed to get a least one HVT on vacation at Disney World.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

BigDave posted:

What's that one dot at the Canadain-Washington-Idaho border?

Best I can make out it's Boundary Dam, a major hydroelectric facility.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010

Against All Tyrants

Ultra Carp

Hexyflexy posted:

It’s total in a full strike. It’s also also a bit weird, in the 2000 warhead strike, if I was the soviet nuke commander I wouldn’t bother hitting the American silos with all those warheads at all - it’s a given they’re expended, and in WW3, effectively forever.

I’d hit absolutely everything else 10 times. Because, gently caress it.

2000 nuke strike is a first strike scenario, so it's trying to hit the silos before the American response starts flying.

Also I should be alright (until I die of radiation poisoning probably) unless the Russkies decide to get real spiteful about national parks.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Hexyflexy posted:

It’s total in a full strike. It’s also also a bit weird, in the 2000 warhead strike, if I was the soviet nuke commander I wouldn’t bother hitting the American silos with all those warheads at all - it’s a given they’re expended, and in WW3, effectively forever.

I’d hit absolutely everything else 10 times. Because, gently caress it.

ICBMs aren’t easily retargetable, so you aim at the other guy’s missile silo in case one of them hasn’t gone off yet, then that’s one less missile coming at you.

If there’s one of them left and two of us, we won, and all that.

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:

Nystral posted:

WTF is in Orlando still of strategic importance to warrant nuking in at a 500 warhead level? The navy base closed like 25 years ago.

Disney World.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

FrozenVent posted:

ICBMs aren’t easily retargetable, so you aim at the other guy’s missile silo in case one of them hasn’t gone off yet, then that’s one less missile coming at you.

If there’s one of them left and two of us, we won, and all that.

Why is that, by the way?

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Duzzy Funlop posted:

Why is that, by the way?

They're hard-targeted aren't they? Youd have to change out the whole control board?

FAUXTON
Jun 2, 2005

spero che tu stia bene

Nystral posted:

WTF is in Orlando still of strategic importance to warrant nuking in at a 500 warhead level? The navy base closed like 25 years ago.

The Epcot Ball definitely isn't a ride about the history of the world, it's a huge radar installation.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

FrozenVent posted:

If there’s one of them left and two of us, we won, and all that.

I'd wager those closer to Antarctica would win a little too. They just get to die slower.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010

Against All Tyrants

Ultra Carp

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Why is that, by the way?

Three reasons:

1. Orbital ballistics are complex, it takes time to calculate them and it's not something that's easily done on the fly, especially with Cold War-era electronics. Better to calculate and program just a handful of targets for each missile.

2. Each missile is assigned to a target based on a pre-existing war plan. If you're in a situation where you are using an ICBM, you are not in any kind of situation where the plan can be changed.

3. The purpose of an ICBM is that they are amongst the fastest-reacting nuclear forces the nation has. Missiles like the Titan II were designed to be launched within minutes, if not seconds of a launch order being received, and that required the entire process to be as quick and as automated as possible. For the Titan II, the missile commander would have three buttons that would determine which pre-programmed target the missile would be launched at based on their orders, and that was it—there was no way of otherwise retargeting the missile, since the infrastructure wasn't designed around that being necessary. (Since it's not like Moscow is going to go anywhere).

MRC48B
Apr 2, 2012

If for some reason you do need to glass a target not on the Big List, I'm assuming that is what the other legs of the triad are for?

Bombers, or I would guess sub-launched missiles are more re-targetable?

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Why is that, by the way?

spy

Fister Roboto
Feb 21, 2008

EBB posted:

Password?

entropy9

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

MRC48B posted:

If for some reason you do need to glass a target not on the Big List, I'm assuming that is what the other legs of the triad are for?

Bombers, or I would guess sub-launched missiles are more re-targetable?

I'm afraid to ask because I expect the answer is going to be "nobody is going to say you idiot", can the subs retarget at will? It's been kinda hinted over the years that British boomers could i.e. famously "you hear the signal that Britain is dead playing over Radio 4 long wave from the British coast, you can now do what you want or scuttle".

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

florida lan posted:

At least I can die happy when the nuclear fire comes, knowing that Lynchburg has been wiped off the map.

Thanks BWXT!

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Acebuckeye13 posted:

(Since it's not like Moscow is going to go anywhere).

Says you

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Hexyflexy posted:

I'm afraid to ask because I expect the answer is going to be "nobody is going to say you idiot", can the subs retarget at will? It's been kinda hinted over the years that British boomers could i.e. famously "you hear the signal that Britain is dead playing over Radio 4 long wave from the British coast, you can now do what you want or scuttle".

I imagine they'd have to be able to, since you don't know where in the world the sub is going to be when it gets a launch order, so you can't just program the missiles with a single ballistic trajectory in mind.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

RFC2324 posted:

Hunter42

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

DENIED


Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

BigDave posted:



Here's the unofficial target list.

Triangles are a 500 warhead strike, black dots are a 2000 warhead strike.

Kiss most of Montana and North Dakota goodbye in a 2000 warhead strike.

Literally everywhere I've ever lived (CONUS) is in a 500 wh strike, and most in a 2k wh strike.

Edit: Mt Weather is definitely under a few of those markers. I can't figure out what the Northern Idaho target is. I assume some kind of former missile launch site or nuke lab.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 05:30 on May 27, 2019

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Wingnut Ninja
Jan 11, 2003

Mostly Harmless
Do the 500-warhead targets assume they also get hit in the 2000-warhead plan? I would have thought that the larger plan would still hit everything on the smaller list, unless there's just that much difference between a first strike and a retaliation.

Godholio posted:

Literally everywhere I've ever lived (CONUS) is in a 500 wh strike.

It figures that pretty much any military base of significance is going to get pasted. Though I'm pleased to see that Key West gets skipped, lucky bastards.

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