Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›311 »

Manifisto

instagram and when you sign up it instantly deletes most of your body, leaving only one gram of matter

# ? May 24, 2019 02:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 19:51

Farecoal: There he go

nice 2008 jokes grandpa

# ? May 24, 2019 02:20

Manifisto

Farecoal posted:

nice 2008 jokes grandpa

grindr and when you sign up it really grinds your gears, kids these days [shakes walker threateningly]

# ? May 24, 2019 02:23

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Social media is so isolating I say and look around and see if anyone will give me nod but they have that Office Grin on and I decide to go staple things

# ? May 24, 2019 03:40

vanisher

Manifisto posted:

twitter and when you sign up it makes you more of a twit than you already are

exactly one unit more of a twit, but the more followers you get the more of a twit you become

# ? May 24, 2019 04:16

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

teppanyaki restaurant but we only sell flapjacks

# ? May 25, 2019 02:02

mountaincat: The first part is about sand-
wiches. The second part is
about morality.

Any handyman can build your IKEA furniture.
But only I can make it Art.

# ? May 26, 2019 03:10

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Cubone posted:

teppanyaki restaurant but we only sell flapjacks

getting teppanyaki ordered delivery

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

# ? May 26, 2019 04:30

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

mountaincat posted:

Any handyman can build your IKEA furniture.
But only I can make it Art.

instructions? hahahaha no. we won't be limiting our shelves like that

# ? May 26, 2019 04:40

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

you know that ghost story about the lady who would never remove the ribbon tied around her neck until she died and when she did her head fell off? i got the same thing with my dick

# ? May 26, 2019 04:41

Manifisto

ghost emoji posted:

you know that ghost story about the lady who would never remove the ribbon tied around her neck until she died and when she did her head fell off? i got the same thing with my dick

why was your dick tied around a lady's--you know what, never mind

ty nesamdoom!

# ? May 26, 2019 04:43

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Manifisto posted:

why was your dick tied around a lady's--you know what, never mind

lol

# ? May 26, 2019 04:44

FactsAreUseless

Renaming "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to Chucky Bucket, Candy Lad.

# ? May 26, 2019 22:47

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

FactsAreUseless posted:

Renaming "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to Chucky Bucket, Candy Lad.

Lord of the Rings= Much Ado About Jewelry

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? May 27, 2019 19:49

vanisher

FactsAreUseless posted:

Renaming "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to Chucky Bucket, Candy Lad.

gotta find that golden thicket

(cue scenes of children searching hedges across the UK)

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? May 27, 2019 19:56

vanisher

Listen this is just getting out of control Mr. Lad, is that Uma Therman working in your factory?

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? May 27, 2019 20:05

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

2-in-1 ouija board/pregnancy test

# ? May 28, 2019 18:00

Harold Fjord

ghost emoji posted:

2-in-1 ouija board/pregnancy test

Find out if the spirit in your home is with child!

# ? May 28, 2019 18:42

Twenty Four

A line of educational children's toys, which while mostly factual, will occasionally but consistently slip something in like "the horse goes moo" confusing a bunch of kids for life.

# ? May 30, 2019 04:17

bird.

going to the mall to pick up a roomba, "oh poo poo here she comes what do i say?" *ducks behind chair*

*roomba whirrs to wall, clinks, turns, and continues on*

"that was close"

# ? May 30, 2019 06:35

manero

Bill & TED Talks

# ? May 31, 2019 00:02

mountaincat: The first part is about sand-
wiches. The second part is
about morality.

Does anyone else
Does anyone have a rash?

# ? May 31, 2019 00:41

vanisher

May I borrow your rash?

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? May 31, 2019 01:00

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

vanisher posted:

May I borrow your rash?

# ? May 31, 2019 01:40

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Hidden Valley Rash

# ? May 31, 2019 02:36

vanisher

You used to be able to just go to your neighbors house, knock on the door, and ask to borrow a rash. Nowadays everyone has their doors locked and are untrusting of strangers. I would welcome a return to those times.

# ? May 31, 2019 04:39

vanisher

Got a hand written thank you rash in the mail it made my day

# ? May 31, 2019 04:40

Farecoal: There he go

vanisher posted:

You used to be able to just go to your neighbors house, knock on the door, and ask to borrow a rash. Nowadays everyone has their doors locked and are untrusting of strangers. I would welcome a return to those times.

I miss the old days, when only doctor you really trusted would give you rear end slaps

# ? May 31, 2019 04:43

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

a rash-share app, FlashRash

# ? Jun 2, 2019 06:11

lol but: body is a dinosaur

trying to do a "leaving las vegas" but with weed

# ? Jun 4, 2019 15:27

mountaincat: The first part is about sand-
wiches. The second part is
about morality.

I'm feeling great, working out, and uh, you really only need one testicle so

# ? Jun 7, 2019 16:03

vanisher

Hell is waiting the 5 seconds to skip a youtube ad only for it to launch another ad

# ? Jun 7, 2019 18:23

vanisher

In 2025 youtube has devolved into only ads. You skip the content to get to the next ad. Some content is unskippable but thankfully its short.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 18:24

vanisher

YouTube exec: what if we made watching youtube like watching TV, with commercial breaks and like ten 30 second ads in a row, sometimes its the same one twice.

Devil: I love it

# ? Jun 7, 2019 18:26

Manifisto

through some combination of my adblocker and (probably more to the point) being subscribed to youtube red as a result of getting my music streaming through google, I never see an ad and forget the pain of those who must sit through them

I mean I am sure spotify/apple/amazon's streaming services are just as good if not better but what a great side benefit

also "ryan hansen solves crime on television" is funny, at least to those who enjoy callbacks to veronica mars/party down etc

# ? Jun 7, 2019 22:52

mountaincat: The first part is about sand-
wiches. The second part is
about morality.

Semiotic Betrayal: The Long Reign of the Dickfour
by Donald Eazenhuts
with forward by Arnold S. Essex

# ? Jun 9, 2019 00:17

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

mountaincat posted:

Semiotic Betrayal: The Long Reign of the Dickfour
by Donald Eazenhuts
with forward by Arnold S. Essex

an esteemed graduate of the University of Ligma's BOFA program

# ? Jun 9, 2019 01:30

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

the Bush's baked beans dog isnt loving aroundf anymore

# ? Jun 9, 2019 03:34

super sweet best pal

mountaincat posted:

Semiotic Betrayal: The Long Reign of the Dickfour
by Donald Eazenhuts
with forward by Arnold S. Essex

Back in my day, Seymour Buttz' classic, Under the Bleachers, was the final word on the subject. :corsair:

# ? Jun 9, 2019 08:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 19:51

lol but: body is a dinosaur

the eating rear end analogy of ordering a well done steak

# ? Jun 9, 2019 21:55

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›311 »