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Zisky
May 6, 2003

PM me and I will show you my tits

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

Your NPR Name
1. Insert your first initial somewhere in your middle name
2. The name of the town your maternal ancestors lived in in the 1850s

optional
3. Hypen
4. Your high school girlfriend's dog's name

Aolexander Richmond-Yoshi

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FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
Welcome to today's show. My guests are some centrists who won't compromise on any progress and want to drag us backwards to appease flyover country. First topic: the janitor at my condo refuses to help move heavy items. Why have unions made the American worker so complicit with inaction?

Guest 1: Perhaps if we tied immigration with job performance...

FilthyImp fucked around with this message at 21:27 on May 28, 2019

Asbury
Mar 23, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 years!
Hair Elf
Hi I'm nina totenberg. You can tell how unhappy I am with the supreme court's ruling on abortion by the tone of my voice. Also somebody stole my dad's violin once

BattleCattle
May 11, 2014

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

Your NPR Name
1. Insert your first initial somewhere in your middle name
2. The name of the town your maternal ancestors lived in in the 1850s

optional
3. Hypen
4. Your high school girlfriend's dog's name

Alman Johnson Tadakichi

doctorfrog
Mar 14, 2007

Great.

Farrier Theaks posted:

Hi I'm nina totenberg. You can tell how unhappy I am with the supreme court's ruling on abortion by the tone of my voice. Also somebody stole my dad's violin once

Yeah I heard it this morning too. Very unusual tone to her voice. Never heard about the violin though.
E: danged if I can find that audio on npr.org at the moment though.

doctorfrog fucked around with this message at 00:34 on May 29, 2019

Asbury
Mar 23, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 years!
Hair Elf

doctorfrog posted:

Yeah I heard it this morning too. Very unusual tone to her voice. Never heard about the violin though.

https://www.npr.org/2015/08/06/427718240/a-rarity-reclaimed-stolen-stradivarius-recovered-after-35-years

not-at-all-salty nina totenberg posted:

Phillip Johnson eventually moved to California, had an undistinguished musical career and died of cancer at age 58, a year before my father died at the age of 101.

Asbury fucked around with this message at 00:13 on May 29, 2019

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.



Ugh I can hear the condescending tone through the link

Zisky
May 6, 2003

PM me and I will show you my tits

poisonpill posted:

Ugh I can hear the condescending tone through the link

Mentioning that his ex-wife's boyfriend was there when she found it was a nice touch.

Captain_Indigo
Jul 29, 2007

"That’s cheating! You know the rules: once you sacrifice something here, you don’t get it back!"

*Sticks tiniest sliver of anaemic cock out end of trousers*

"This, is 99% invisible."

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

Captain_Indigo posted:

*Sticks tiniest sliver of anaemic cock out end of trousers*

"This, is 99% invisible."

So that's why that show is called that.

nominal
Oct 13, 2007

I've never tried dried apples.
What are they?
Pork Pro
Chud Rombley here to report that tensions are rising in the Middle East. Yep, just tensions, doing that rising thing that they naturally do, completely of their own accord. Just want to remind you all that that's a thing that tensions do, and in no way should any human ever be even remotely at fault for this.

Okay back to music correspondent Spaff McGinty to talk about what Dan Deacon - the only electronic musician in the entire world - has been up to for the past eight minutes since we checked in last time.

Pershing
Feb 21, 2010

John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

Today's report on the world of competition spelling competition spelling, :wtf: talked about a high-pressure, high-stakes environment for young children and did so in that annoying sing-song "gosh, there might be some concerns here but NAH" voice that makes me want to burn my tote bag.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
I'm [30 second long name] and today, we report on the adoption of 3G internet and the rise of meme culture in Cuba. One of the memes they've latched on to is related to their current food crisis, which is due to the... problems currently happening in Venezuela, but let's not get too deep into this one because, uh... anyway memes lol am I right?

[I tuned in for the first time in months yesterday and this was the story and I laughed out loud at this part, "Cuba's got a food crisis but uhhh let's not discuss it except to blame Venezuela and quickly move on"]

amusinginquiry
Nov 8, 2009

College Slice
I’m working on an in-depth expose on the rise of electronic online ... (pauses for effect) trolling. Who are these infamous “posters” in the dark recesses of the internet who can strike anyone at any moment? Tune in Wednesday night for an hour straight of boomers using their decaying brains to form what barely qualifies as coherent thoughts. We’ll also interview a guy who donated money to a man streaming live video of himself to hundreds of sad nerds.

In the meantime, please enjoy a solid week of us begging for your donations in the most infuriating way possible. You get a tote bag or something.

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


For just $40 per month, you'll get a DVD version of Wait Wait Dont Tell Me recorded in 480p

vandalism
Aug 4, 2003
rip garison keilor

pseudanonymous
Aug 30, 2008

When you make the second entry and the debits and credits balance, and you blow them to hell.

vandalism posted:

rip garison keilor

Did he die or something or is he just dead to you. Because of the ... you know.

mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
GOSSIPING AT WATERCOOLER

TARDEN ROSENCLAP: did you meet the new mailroom clerk? some guy named steve. definitely not long for this world; he doesn't even talk like a hesitating eunuch that is enjoying a secret.

ROBERT SIEGEL: ...

TARDEN ROSENCLAP: robert are you ok? robert?

*Frank Oz rushes from the bathroom, zipping up his fly as he goes, shoves hand up Robert's backside*

ROBERT SIEGEL: *now animated, hands flailing wildly* sounds like a real weeeeirdo!

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
*hits scan button and for some reason it lands on 88.1*

"... and... ... .. that's when... .. . ... ... when I knew. :long sigh:

my water was racist"

:long droning transition music:

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free

mysterious frankie posted:

GOSSIPING AT WATERCOOLER

TARDEN ROSENCLAP: did you meet the new mailroom clerk? some guy named steve. definitely not long for this world; he doesn't even talk like a hesitating eunuch that is enjoying a secret.

ROBERT SIEGEL: ...

TARDEN ROSENCLAP: robert are you ok? robert?

*Frank Oz rushes from the bathroom, zipping up his fly as he goes, shoves hand up Robert's backside*

ROBERT SIEGEL: *now animated, hands flailing wildly* sounds like a real weeeeirdo!

lmao

Admiral Bosch
Apr 19, 2007
Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?
i was coming home from dropping the old lady at the denver airport and some local affiliate, i think it was KUNC, was either interviewing or rebroadcasting an interview with richard wolff. was good unlike actual npr

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!

FilthyImp posted:

*hits scan button and for some reason it lands on 88.1*

"... and... ... .. that's when... .. . ... ... when I knew. :long sigh:

my water was racist"

:long droning transition music:

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!

Admiral Bosch posted:

i was coming home from dropping the old lady at the denver airport and some local affiliate, i think it was KUNC, was either interviewing or rebroadcasting an interview with richard wolff. was good unlike actual npr
dick wolff is primo tier

Wolff focuses on systemic critiques that result in bad behavior causing crisis in society. NPR is instead hyper-focused on blaming individuals and bad actors for crisis and if only people stopped being bad people everything in the world would be so harmonious and we'd have the perfect status quo.

Wolff does really great bi-monthly 'Global Capitalism' talks on his youtube channels if anyone is interested

comedyblissoption fucked around with this message at 12:20 on May 30, 2019

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
"This is your local NPR station, KZUC, 88.451, serving the greater Bakersfield community. Today on Eye on I-5, is the Migrant Crisis in Honduras contributing to the increase in your gas prices? Then, we'll speak to a woman that was jailed for not being able to provide health care for her infant daughter. Find out if she owns an iPhone at the top of the hour.

But first, have you become an Angel Investor in KZUC yet? With just one text or call, you can be part of Bakersfield's most talked about listener-supported channel. A monthly contribution of $300 comes with a complimentary micro-tote and a 12MB flash drive. Join the $500 tier for an 'I Shop at WholeFoods' bumpersticker"

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
I'm Audie Cornish.

BattleCattle
May 11, 2014

I’m Jack Speer, and I wish I wasn’t.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Admiral Bosch posted:

i was coming home from dropping the old lady at the denver airport and some local affiliate, i think it was KUNC, was either interviewing or rebroadcasting an interview with richard wolff. was good unlike actual npr

ive said this before itt, KUNC is cool and good

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

FilthyImp posted:

Welcome to today's show. My guests are some centrists who won't compromise on any progress and want to drag us backwards to appease flyover country. First topic: the janitor at my condo refuses to help move heavy items. Why have unions made the American worker so complicit with inaction?

Guest 1: Perhaps if we tied immigration with job performance...

this is too loving real

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
*cheery staccato horns blare*
Next up we talk about a market where supply...doesn't meet demand.

*dramatic pause*

You can't buy a kidney. You can't pay for someone's college education for one. You can't buy someone a car for one. Next up, on freakonomocs.

*horns fade out*

npr did this this morning

temple
Jul 29, 2006

I have actual skeletons in my closet
Today we will address the new jim crow and how one black woman became successful, thus ending racism forever!

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant

comedyblissoption posted:

*cheery staccato horns blare*
Next up we talk about a market where supply...doesn't meet demand.

*dramatic pause*
Lol perfect

You just needed the post pause line to be delivered by a harried woman expert saying it's useless and then have the host try to NPRsplain away their critique

mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
wait wait... don't...

just...

don't...

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


wait wait dont jelq me

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

im steveinski

Pershing
Feb 21, 2010

John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

...and the new Morning Edition theme is dogshit.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
the fresh air with Howard Stern was good

empty whippet box
Jun 9, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Mummy Xzibit posted:

Aolexander Richmond-Yoshi

Baudray Texas, best I can do

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
No NPR here in :canada: but we do have CBC which is just a guilty of doing all the things listed in this thread.

However there is a program called This Is That and every week it succeeds in tricking some idiots into thinking these are real stories.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thisisthat

errr....Did. Seems they are not making new ones.

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Bonzo posted:

No NPR here in :canada: but we do have CBC which is just a guilty of doing all the things listed in this thread.

However there is a program called This Is That and every week it succeeds in tricking some idiots into thinking these are real stories.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thisisthat

errr....Did. Seems they are not making new ones.

"Hi, I'm Sook-Yin Lee, and I won't rest until everyone has seen my vagina. . . now here is an hour of programming where 7 people discuss how that rubber-ish adhesive that comes on the back of new credit cards affected their childhoods and shaped them into the broken people they are today."

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Blistex posted:

"Hi, I'm Sook-Yin Lee, and I won't rest until everyone has seen my vagina. . . now here is an hour of programming where 7 people discuss how that rubber-ish adhesive that comes on the back of new credit cards affected their childhoods and shaped them into the broken people they are today."

yeah that is there job

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