Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for liking a game?

My friend has an irrational hate for the game Undertale. If I as much as refrence it he threatens to kick me out of our group chat and has almost cancelled plans because of me saying the name of it or even referencing his hate for it. He has given me reasons like its not fun and stuff but nothing that'd make him hate hate it. I try to not mention it but sometimes I accidentally say something or he overhears one of my conversations with another friend and he gets mad. Am I missing something here?

Miserable Maid posted:

Anti-fans are just as bad if not worse then obnoxious fans

It's just a stupid videogame

quote:

TL;DR: suicidal bf (m 30) of 9 year cheated on me (f 29) how to prevent cheating? how do we move on? how to help a suicidal person?

My boyfriend of 9 years cheated on me a week ago with his long time friend of 10 years. It's not entirely his fault, I was working a new job full time, and trying to pursue different hobbies, so I may not have put enough into the relationship. Also his business was not working out, and I didn't do enough to help him.

I pressed him for the truth, and learned the story directly from him day after his cheating. He said he felt extremely guilty. I was extremely angry and sad, and decided this is the bottom line and I will need to move on.

The complication is we own a house together and we just moved in for 1 year. Also the fact that he is suicidal. As much as I hate him, I do not wish anyone/anything to cause any harm to him. He has been an amazing person in my life, and I felt we grew up together during the past 9 years. He is caring, funny, talented to say the least.

Since his cheating, I've been trying to distant myself from him. But we still live together, so it's very hard. Long story short, it got to a point where he was banging his head on our wood bench he built, and me trying to stop him. Then I gave in, and had sex with him...because as much as I don't want to give in, I can't bear to see him hurt. After that, he told me he felt relieved and that I saved him, and then he told me how he planned to die. He had started setting up, and he was going to poison himself with CO in the cold room in our basement. He didn't committ that day cuz there was a chance my parents were coming, and he didn't want them to be hurt if the CO was not vented out.

I am not sure what to do. I still love him, so I don't mind that we are back together, but I am afraid he might cheat again. I am just thinking there may be some truth to the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater". Also he has put himself in situations cheating could happen before. He once invited a girl into our house. Also he didn't have intercourse but did get intimate with his long time friend many years ago. I am not sure if I am just stupid and not seeing the ques. Also not sure if it's relavant or not, he dad cheated on his mom.

I want to trust him, but I also don't want to be cheated on again. I definitely can't leave him because he might die, and I would do anything to prevent that from happening.

Please help me with your advice how cheating can be prevented in the future, and how we can move on as a couple from this point. Any advice on how to help a suicidal person is also appreciated.

quote:

It's not recent, he has attempted before, but this was the most serious attempt. He is suicidal even before I met him. He doesn't want to get help from professionals on this.

areyoucontagious posted:

Alex Honnold

There was a documentary that was pretty good- he didn’t get hugged by his mom so he’s got some weird deprogramming with regards to his adrenaline production

I (34m) regret my marriage and the entire past year of my life. posted:

I hosed up. Bad. I thought I felt a real connection, I thought I knew what I wanted, but ever since actually going through with it, I have doubted and regretted my decision.

I felt happy for a while. I felt like we shared something deep and meaningful... But I can't help but think I did it for the wrong reasons. I helped her out by giving her a stable home, made sure to get her to her many appointments to seek the physical healing she needs for a wide range of issues she has (scoliosis, a damaged eye, dysphagia, losing her teeth, etc), but I did so for selfish reasons...

I told her this today. How I have regretted our marriage almost since the beginning. How I don't see a future with her that I want to be in. How I think we should split up...

I guess I love her, in a way... Not the kind of love a husband should have for a wife, though. I don't want to see her hurt. But I don't think I would sacrifice myself for her. I can't really be a friend to her... We have nothing in common and she's so much older than I am.

But the way things are here, how we live... I can't and won't force her to once again live on the streets. I don't want her to return to her old life of using meth and getting abused. And I also feel like I have been abusing her and hosed up not only my life, but hers as well. Despite giving her a home and trying to take care of her.

I have an overwhelming urge to run away; but I have nowhere to go. No money. No vehicle in my own name. I don't even have the means to pay for a divorce. I have tried to talk to my family about it but they try to ignore it and I believe they just think I am just venting frustrations over other things. I am not! I made a huge mistake and don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to really talk about it with anyone I know in the flesh. And deciding to make this post has, for the first time ever in my life of posting on internet forums and poo poo, has given me a massive anxiety attack that I am fighting right loving now.

My life wasn't great before I met her; but I was happier. I wanted to not be alone, but I feel even more alone now than I was before I got married. Everything I have done to find "the one" feels like one mistake after another. I don't really want to get into all that, but it runs through my mind near daily. Everything I did after deciding it was what I really wanted about 3 years ago. Getting tired of being alone in my room, looking for work and playing games and shitposting on Reddit in the meantime. Looking for hookups and/or dates on Craigslist, Tinder, POF, etc. Met some cool people. Met some hosed up people. Engaging with the wrong people for me for way too long. Too afraid to admit my mistakes.

I don't even have the shelter and comfort of being by myself now. I can't go anywhere in my house without bumping into someone and feeling totally isolated from them because I can't face them in the eye and tell them how I feel. I leave notes. I send texts. What the gently caress am I supposed to do when I get hit with so much anxiety trying to speak to my own family about poo poo that is really important to me?!

Why is it easier to explain to anonymous strangers how I feel than it is to my own god drat parents?! I hate what I have become. I hate who I am. What I see myself as. I have no ambitions. I have no goals. I don't even know what I really am looking for with love. I just know I don't have it. Whatever it may be. And I'm so loving tired of trying to make it happen with someone who doesn't seem to truly care and doesn't help and I can't feel comfortable in my own skin around.

I'm not suicidal with a plan or intent to kill myself; but oh my God, do I wish I could just be dead.

From comments posted:

I needed an outlet (several) to vent. I guess I do want advice, but I'm not really sure where to start.

We met when another woman I was seeing purely for sex invited me over for a 3-way, as it was something I had expressed interest in trying. The first woman ended up changing her mind, though, right as I arrived. I got mad and thought it was just another of her games (she hosed around a lot like that). Didn't think the woman I married was even real. To vindicate herself, she introduced us, and we spent a good long while talking. Mostly about what I was going through at that time in my life. And we hosed. It was, honestly, the best sex of my life. Really, every time with her has been. From there things escalated quickly. First the heated bullshit from the first woman who apparently thought I wanted to be her sex slave (which I most certainly did not as I had ventured down that road the year prior and found it was not what I had hoped).

Over the next few weeks, my wife (Heather) and I spent a lot of time together just hanging out, talking about ourselves. Getting to know each other. Growing fond of one another. At some point when I dropped her off at the previous girl's house where she was staying, I organically let out an "I love you" despite all our talk that we didn't really want to fall in love. She immediately returned it. And it felt normal. Natural. Things with the other girl went downhill pretty fast. She kicked Heather out for it, and so I offered her to stay with me until she was able to go live with her mother.

But it wasn't gonna happen. She got a call one afternoon from her brother and sister in law saying they had instead put her mother in a home somewhere (she has Alzheimer's) and that they didn't even want her to see her. We still don't know where she is, and Heather misses her a lot. So I offered her again to stay with me until she could get on her feet.

The more time we spent together, the closer we felt to each other. She was very sweet, very caring, very loving and just fun to be with. We didn't have any arguments of consequence, we had no bad feelings toward each other. It felt like true love. We were happy. So we got married. And that's when it all started to unravel.

I had my doubts going into it. I don't think anyone doesn't. It's a big step. But I really don't think I thought it all the way through. What it would mean to marry someone 21 years older than me. I thought I didn't care about that because love would prevail. We could do anything as long as we truly were in love. But then her real secrets started coming out and she began to act differently. The whole time I had known her, she apparently was on meth. She claimed over and over again that she was trying to quit, and that once she started living with me was when she actually could. And she did stop, for a while. But I was still floored by the confession. And it has raised even more doubts since. Doubts like the person I fell in love with was actually what the meth made her into, and without that vile substance, she is not the person I love.

I didn't have a job or income when we met, either. We got married on the first paycheck I got after getting a job so I could help us both out. I had thought that, because I was broke when we fell in love, money would never be an issue in our relationship. But I was wrong. After getting a taste of having money, she became greedy. Always wanting to spend more than we had. Trying to borrow against future paychecks to other people, like my siblings or parents, just to get her way and have fun at my expense.

I wasn't even making that much, at the time. So I chalked it up to just being deprived for so long. Neither of us had much for so long, we blew through the money I made quickly because we wanted to finally do and get the things we had dreamed of for so long. But then I got a better job that paid three times more. And it was still an issue. $800-900 a week gone in a single loving weekend. It was then that I started to resent her. For how she would constantly guilt me about spending money when all I ever spent money on was her wishes. She would get angry at me for having all the control, despite the fact that I merely handled the money, and did exactly what she asked me to do with it.

And the entire time I had started making money, we were having less and less sex. She stopped cuddling and being physical altogether about 4 months into my first job since meeting her. Something she claimed to have loved doing with me more than anyone. So I, of course, felt (and still feel) totally rejected and I don't know what I did to deserve the cold shoulder. Whenever I have tried to bring this up to her, she changes the subject or claims these are solely my issues because of my past traumas (which are none or at least nothing major; my mom shat on my dreams once but I've never been too hung up on that). Basically deflecting and never owning up to what is really going on.

For the past 5 months, we've been on a repeating cycle of making up and having a few hours of fun on Monday before I leave, to sitting in silence until payday, to getting into an argument about how to plan our finances. I have tried everything I can think of to get her to see her own mistakes and I am just met with a brick-loving-wall of deflection, and illogical behaviour.

There have been other things going on that I tend to forget about, too. The constant talking to her meth-addicted, loser ex-husband behind my back. The time I caught her sexting a dude and trying to meet up with him while I was at work when I had paid for a nice hotel so we could spend more quality time together. Secret meetings with another man from her past under the guise of hanging out with a girl friend; a guy who she says tried to strangle her and also does meth so I'm almost certain she is getting drugs from.

It's all just getting to be too much to bear. Even if I do love her (which I am not even sure about anymore), nothing I can do can fix what is broken here, because what's broken is how she handles herself, how she treats me and herself, her hypocrisy, and just... Her! She won't seek therapy. She won't communicate with me on any meaningful level. She just sits in our bedroom all drat day, rocking in a rocking chair and either watching lovely reality TV like the Kardashians or listening to loud, heavy music. When she does talk to me, it's only to ask me to spend money on her, poo poo all over me and my feelings, or to bitch about poo poo from her past that I've heard a million times already and am sick of repeating the same advice over and over again because she doesn't really listen or follow through on a drat thing.

I thought maybe I was the problem. That I somehow caused her to hate me. But even her daughter (my step daughter; who is closer in age to me than my loving wife!) says that I have done nothing wrong. Yet Heather is adamant that I am not doing her right, despite all I have done and all I will continue to do because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO. Feed her, clothe her, give her shelter, take her to her doctors, etc.

I'm getting so annoyed and so fed up with her bullshit that I want to just move on and find someone who isn't a complete mess, because helping with her issues is WAY over my loving head and she outright refuses to seek professional help. But, again, I don't want to see her hurt. I wish very much to help her. Even if we're not a couple. She has been through so much more poo poo than I would ever be able to handle, and it seems like the thing she is taking hardest is NOT being in a terrible place. It's hard here, too, but not nearly as hard as it must've been in a house of 18 tweakers that talked poo poo and stole everything from everyone; which is where she was before running away to live on the streets and bounce from friend to friend until I found her.

I was confident about who I was and what I wanted when I met her. Now she has thrown a monkey wrench into everything I thought I was and what I truly wanted out of life. I'm so confused, hurt and alone and I feel loving stupid that Reddit, of all places, is the only place left to me to seek answers.

Pirate Radar posted:

Forza Horizon 3 taught me how to deal with roundabouts: when the GPS tells you “at the roundabout, take the second left” it means you should floor it because some rear end in a top hat put grass in the middle of the road up ahead

quote:

My grandmother (GM) was one of my best friends my entire life. Unfortunately, she had a lot of serious health problems so I spent my entire life unsure if each time I saw her would be the last. As I started to get older and things were getting serious with my now fiance, I began to get hopeful that she would at least be able to make it to my wedding. But, she died 2 years ago.

8 months later, my grandfather (GP) had a new girlfriend (NGF). It was a bit of a shock to everyone because it was so soon, but we didn't want him to be miserable and alone so we were supportive. The only thing that me and my first cousin (17F), who was just as close as I was to our GM, asked was for him to not bring her to our family Christmas that year. It was the first Christmas we were going to have after our GM died, and we weren't ready to see someone else sitting at her seat at the dinner table. It also would have been the first time we met NGF. He got really upset and refused to come to Christmas. It became a big fight with various people in the family taking sides. My mother and aunt (my cousin's mom) wanted us to "be the bigger people" but we were just grieving the first person we'd both ever lost and we weren't ready yet.

There have been a bunch of other issues surrounding her in the last 1+ year causing family-wide fights. I don't have space to go through them all but I'll give one example. A few weeks ago, my GP started having stroke symptoms so they rushed to the hospital. Luckily it wasn't a stroke, it was Bells palsy from his new hearing aid. The problem was that they thought he was potentially dying and NGF didn't call any of his family. We didn't find out until my mother saw him next and asked what happened to his face.

So basically I've only met her once, and she has been the topic of numerous family-wide fights. I'm having a hard enough time knowing my GM won't be at my wedding. I think that seeing a strange woman in her seat, especially after all that's happened in the past 1+ year is going to be too painful. All this time I've told my GP I have no problem with him having a girlfriend and I have no major problem with the woman herself. I just wanted to not be rushed into acting like she's part of the family when I haven't even come to terms with the loss of the actual part of the family. It's taking longer than it should have because he's been really disrespectful and rushing us with this big change. I don't think it's been resolved enough at this point and I don't want that lingering heartbreak to spoil a day when I'm supposed to be happy and focusing on my new husband. But, my GP would be really upset, possibly to the point of refusing to come, and I know some other family members would be displeased with me for causing problems.

WIBTA if I ask my GP not to bring his NGF at all?

Patrick Spens posted:

WIBTA if I (25F) asked my grandfather (75M) not to bring his new girlfriend (70sF) to my wedding?

quote:

Hi,

I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this on. My bf and i have been seeing each for a litrle over a year now. It happened this evening. I just bought a new phone and my boyfriend's gmail is logged into my old phone, and his pivtures get backed up and synched on my phone at times. So while i was synching all those pictures from my gmail account on Google photos to my phone, i saw some pictures of a girl and some few other girls which were synched on my account from my bfs ID. I didn't think much of it until some 2 pictures of the girls which were at a club disappeared. I asked him if he delte them he said no. I asked him about the remainjng pictures, he said that they are from the time he made a fake profile with his friends back in college. I got a little worried because his gmail account has all our nudes and photos and videos together. He changed his id and password first thing while i checked his gmajl accojnt thoroughly for any suspicious third party activity and surprisingly nothing. There were no new devices used in the last 28 days, no suspicious logins. And i found his activity track whkch showed that he had opened and used bumble and tinder (dating appas) and had been checking them consistently Now i would've thought that it was a suspicious activity but the device that was used to access these apps was infact his phone.. He says he has no idea, i don't know if i should believe him or not. I have screenshots of the devices used and apps accessed if it helps. Is there anyway i can find out? I am serious about him and am thinking of a future.. Which is nearing but i cannot with this cloud of doubt.

Things were a little shaky between us but we've been working on kit and i can't imagine him doing this... But now i don't know. He has cheated on his recent ex and things were terrible between them. I vaguely remember him saying thag he's cheated on both the girls he's been serious about but he changed that later and I m not sure if he really said it or not.

Any help in this regard would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Tl;dr i found some pictures of some girls on my bfs photos app and found put he has been using tinder and bumble. He claims he has been hacked.

quote:

Just to clarify, i don't find dicks in general repulsive, just my boyfriend's. It wasn't always like this, but lately he hasn't been washing it properly and it always sticks. It's gotten to the point that I get turned off at the thought of it.

I think it might have to do with him going from baths to showers due to moving. He'd always spend hours in a bath and I think that's what helped keep his penis relatively clean. Now that he doesn't have a bath anymore, it sticks. I don't think he knows how to wash it in a way that is doesn't hurt and doesn't stink.

Are there any tips I can give him about penile hygiene? He is uncircumcised, if that is an important factor.

Relationship length: 4 years

TL;DR: need tips on penile hygiene in the shower

Patrick Spens posted:

WIBTA if I (25F) asked my grandfather (75M) not to bring his new girlfriend (70sF) to my wedding?

quote:

Nope. I met her even though it hurt like hell. I was ready to welcome her to Easter even though it would have hurt like hell. Nothing selfish about that. But at my own wedding, yeah, it's about me more than about him, sorry. Think of it as if you were hearing the story the other way around. You wouldn't have been insisting that he break his granddaughter's heart at her own wedding because he can't go one day without his new girlfriend. It's one day. It's not loving his last remaining years.

quote:

don't get to say how he copes, and that's why it's not a problem that he HAS a girlfriend. But that goes both ways. He doesn't get to decide how the rest of the family grieves, and put a time limit on it either.

Patrick Spens posted:

WIBTA if I (25F) asked my grandfather (75M) not to bring his new girlfriend (70sF) to my wedding?

Piell posted:

Not sure if my [21F] boyfriend's [27M] phone's hacked or is lying. Please help.


I[21] find my boyfriend's [21] penis repulsive. What can I do?

Patrick Spens posted:

The problem was that they thought he was potentially dying and NGF didn't call any of his family. We didn't find out until my mother saw him next and asked what happened to his face.

Patrick Spens posted:

WIBTA if I (25F) asked my grandfather (75M) not to bring his new girlfriend (70sF) to my wedding?

Piell posted:

Not sure if my [21F] boyfriend's [27M] phone's hacked or is lying. Please help.

Marag3n posted:

First sorry for formatting I'm on my phone.

This happened a couple of hours ago during dinner conversations. My younger brother (11) started a conversation about how he had seen a cat being walked, an usual thing from where we're from that sparked a nice conversation. During it our mother said along the lines of "what does it matter, you don't have a cat", which instantly resulted in my brother shutting up.

A couple of minutes later when conversation was dying down I decided to ask our mother "What does (brother) owning a cat have to do with a conversation about him seeing one walking?" She could come up with a valid reason so dropped it but just gave me a stink eye occasionally throughout dinner.

Dinner is finishing up and the partner of our uncle who is staying with us spoke up and said I was disrespecting my mother, which in all fairness I understood, and how I should respect her more. I asked her to elaborate which resulted in the typical "she gave birth to you", "she provides for you". After the spiel I asked to explain my side and said that by dismissing my young impressional brother that she could be harming his future social skills by not speaking out of fear that his conversations will be rejected or dismissed. It ended there after our uncle motioned for her to drop it and I didn't want to bring it up and cause a fight.

So am I the rear end in a top hat in this situation Reddit?

Yawgmoth posted:

As a guy, I can with 100% certainty tell you that there is a huge difference in sensation between wearing a condom and not wearing a condom. It's not 5%, it's more like 500%. Which isn't to say that he shouldn't be using them anyways, especially if his gf's parents are so loving dumb that they won't let her have BC, but I definitely understand why he wouldn't want to use them.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22 year old guy

I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my mgmt team are a bunch of asses and pricks with no hearts.

AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go gently caress ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for declining an invitation to my 10 year high school reunion?


"Thanks for the invite to the event, the thought really is appreciated but I'm going to have to give it a miss. The sentiment is nice and no doubt I hope those who do attend have a great time reliving old memories and catching up but I'm not interested in joining. Its been 10 years since school finished and I've barely spoken to anyone from our graduating class, I get it though, life happens and people get busy but I'm not keen to meet up, fake pleasantries and compare our lives to one anothers for one night to not talk for another ten years. All the best to everyone though 👍"

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I announced my pregnancy at my sister’s gender reveal?

Fatkraken posted:

Peanut Butler posted:

my suburban hometown in the US went all in on roundabouts in the mid-late 90s, grew up with them being normal- our state's always been a little experimental with traffic engineering, I think because of a v good public university urban planning program, we're putting in diverging diamond overpasses on relatively podunk state highways-

the most difficult thing about handling this circle would be 'drive on left', the rest makes a lot of sense

e: dashed lines are 'yield', right?

snergle posted:

dont death grip your dick when you jerk off? condoms are like 3% less sensation on me and im circumsized.

OMGVBFLOL posted:

ive never understood people who worry more about the slight difference in sensation with a condom than they do about pregnancy or aids

e: also trojan ultrathins with the spermicidal lube are better than most, pick up a pack if you've never tried em

OMGVBFLOL posted:

ive never understood people who worry more about the slight difference in sensation with a condom than they do about pregnancy or aids

e: also trojan ultrathins with the spermicidal lube are better than most, pick up a pack if you've never tried em

OMGVBFLOL posted:

ive never understood people who worry more about the slight difference in sensation with a condom than they do about pregnancy or aids

e: also trojan ultrathins with the spermicidal lube are better than most, pick up a pack if you've never tried em

Patrick Spens posted:

WIBTA if I (25F) asked my grandfather (75M) not to bring his new girlfriend (70sF) to my wedding?

M.C. McMic posted:

Oh, your grampa's girlfriend didn't call you about his medical problem after your entire family shunned her? Hmm.

This girl sucks so bad. She'd rather poo poo on this lady for not being her grandmother than have her grandfather attend her wedding. What a vindictive piece of poo poo.

Perhaps it hasn't occurred to her that people in their mid 70's are working on a slightly shorter timeline than someone who's 25, and they may not want to wait 3 years to move on.

Batterypowered7 posted:

I thought spermicidal lube could cause irritation, leading to dryness and an increased chance of the condom breaking.