/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (19F) boyfriend (22M) horrified and disgusted me. Am I overreacting?

Depends. It might be a joke unless he's a Lostprophets fan.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 13:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:24

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Xik posted:

I have no idea what it's like to lose a child but "making a lifelike doll replica of my dead baby" seems like a pretty hosed up coping strategy to be honest.

From what I've seen a good portion of people who buy them aren't grieving, they get them to roleplay having a child and they pretend the doll is alive. Some of them have specific functions like motorized legs so people can "teach" the child how to walk...forever. One instagram account features a doll made to look like the child is terminally ill and in constant pain - those people aren't grieving either, they just want to roleplay the scenario. The whole thing is an unnerving rabbit hole that I don't want to explore any further.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 13:38

DEAD GAY FORUM: Dec 18, 2018; the good posts were inside you all along

Smirking_Serpent posted:

the engagement ring story got brigaded by MGTOW so of course the woman is now officially The rear end in a top hat

You are an rear end in a top hat if you base your marriage on a material object like a ring :shrug:

# ? Jun 6, 2019 13:46

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Got my friend a cushy job. He's underperforming, not showing up, and I caught him in a lie about PTO. He has legit problems but they're way worse than what I thought they'd be. What do I do?

I (33, F) work for a subcontractor to a large, rather prestigious firm on a region-wide project. I was hired almost a year ago, and I've worked really hard to successfully build a great reputation for myself. It helped that last December, I referred a friend into my team who turned out to be a total star of an employee, even though he had no background for the role. Together we've built one hell of a team and everyone is always thanking me for bringing him on.

A couple of months ago, our admin put in her notice. Since my referral #1 worked out so well, management at both the large firm and my tiny subconsulting firm came to me immediately, asking if I knew anyone else who could do the job. It's a critical role and we needed someone in their ASAP. I knew of a friend's husband who had mentioned he was looking for a new job and he had some skills with Excel, so I pinged him. Management jumped on it and within 72 hours, he had the job (making quite a bit more than he was at his previous role, I might add). He was employed, but had told me he was uncomfortable with the role he�d recently been promoted to, and also that he thought it was unfair his employer forbade him from taking a vacation he had booked months ago because he was out sick in January. I�ve had employers be stingy with PTO before so I was like oh yeah dude, I get it. He gets the job, gives a three week notice, takes his vacation and then works out the remaining two weeks before joining my company.

I have known this guy, let's call him Sam (35, M), somewhat well - his wife and my partner have been friends for over a decade (they were neighbors in their early 20s). We moved to their area last year and I befriended the wife and to small extent, Sam. I'm fairly close with his wife now and I became close enough to Sam for him to come out to me as transgender (I had also come out to Sam and his wife about being queer, although I'm a cisgender female so I can't say I get what he goes through) - which actually made me feel a lot more comfortable around him and opened up our friendship quite a bit. I knew he also had some struggles with depression, but he's in therapy and on antidepressants and seems to handle it well enough... but now I'm second guessing that.

So Sam starts the job and his first day, I�m thrilled to have him, he looks dressed for the role, he�s taking notes and asking good questions. There wasn�t any training set up for this role, but the previous admin left a lot of notes and cheat sheets for him, he has a team of people willing to walk him through stuff and answer questions, and it�s one of those jobs that once you get the hang of it, the basic functions of the job stay largely the same. He seemed fine with that.

Second day, he texts me and tells me he has a migraine due to his testosterone shots, and the migraine is so bad it temporarily blinds him and this tends to be a thing that happens with the shots, but he usually gets them on weekends so it shouldn�t be a problem going forward. I say that sucks, feel better and don�t worry � his computer hadn�t been finished getting set up yet anyways. Didn�t think about it much after that. The next day, he texts that he actually has a fever and is getting sick - I agree that he should stay home because he shouldn�t come in. He ends up out sick the rest of the week and I end up taking his computer to him that Thursday night so he can at least log on and get the lay of the land on Friday. I chalk it all up to new job stress, bad timing, etc and pretty much don�t think much more of it.

Week 2 � Tuesday he texts in the morning that he�s �leaning towards 10� because he was up all night worrying about his sick cat. He ends up coming in much later. Wednesday he texts and says he�s running late because of an accident on the highway � fine, but Wednesdays we always have a team meeting at 9 am and he�s supposed to be the person who sets up the meeting, and he knows this. Thursday he texts saying there was a death in the family � it was someone he wasn�t in contact with any longer but he�s taking it hard. He says he wants to work though � I offer my condolences and give him the benefit of the doubt that this really is just all very bad timing. Our boss calls me and is just like �What the hell is going on, I can�t deal with this, he�s on week 2 and he hasn�t worked more than 1 full day in a week yet�. I text and call him and his wife panicking � and I�m telling him bro I�m really sorry you�re going through all of this, but your first impression window is closing rapidly and you need to get yourself into the office as quickly as possible. This resulted in a full-blown panic attack for me - I felt bad for him, I felt bad for my team, I felt bad for our management team. He did come in and work throughout the rest of the week, but god drat I felt burned out by the stress at that point.

Week 3 � Monday goes fine; Tuesday am I get another text that he had another testosterone shot on a Monday night again and he�s out with another migraine but he came out to our boss about his transition and so she is aware of exactly what�s going on. Our boss is very liberal and �gets it� but she�s still in a position to run a team and can�t have a person being out all the time. At this point, our boss pulls me into her office and tells me she wants to have a talk with him when he gets in, and other people in the office are asking me where the hell he is.

He gets in mid-afternoon, and I pull him outside and sit down and chat for a while about what�s going on with him. I told him that frankly, no manager would put up with this amount of absences, especially for a new employee, and he can�t get trained if he isn�t here. He gives me the �I know, I know� schpeel, complains about how he isn�t really getting trained anyways, and also says that he�s gonna switch to a testosterone cream instead of the shots as those don�t come with migraines. At the end of the conversation, he asks me if it�d be ok if he took two days off (A Thursday and a Friday) at the end of the month for a �weekend-long wedding celebration� in the northern part of the state. I tell him 1) After not working a full week your first month and not even having any PTO to use (we can front a few hours but that�s it), no, they aren�t going to let him do that and 2) if you need PTO in your first three months of work you should disclose this at the time of getting your offer, not two weeks before you need the time off. The conversation ends well enough - I tell him dude, do not miss any more time, no being late, etc for at least a few weeks while you let all this blow over and work to prove yourself and build a better reputation. He agrees and says he's on it.

The next day, I work from home, but my assistant texts me that he�s pissed off that Sam was late to the meeting again and dressed in old jeans and a tshirt and looked disheveled (we work in a somewhat-dressy office � button downs, khakis, etc). My assistant was not used to dressing up either, but he�s sucked it up and has looked nice since day 1. He was pretty resentful that Sam felt like he could just wear whatever, especially after all the poo poo he�s been putting the rest of the team through since he�d been hired.

That weekend I start seeing posts on Facebook about how he�s fighting really bad depression. I send a couple supportive texts and I do feel bad about his position (been there myself aplenty), but hope that he can soldier on because this job is a good opportunity and I do not want him to waste it.

Week 4 � Monday morning he�s sick again but is coming into the office. I bring him ginger tea to help. Tues and Weds are fine, we actually get to chitchat and go to lunch. Thursday he works from home and tells me he�s going to be on late because his wife is sick. The thing about working from home is, new employees aren�t allowed to do this within their first three months. Other employees are noticing that he�s working from home and are a little miffed � none of us were allowed to work from home our first three months. I continue to give the benefit of the doubt because I�d rather see him work from home than take another day off and risk getting fired, but I�m starting to get tired of this.

Week 5 � Says again he�s sick but he does show up to work. Tuesday, we are able to have chitchat again, and we go to coffee. This is the week when he wanted to take two PTO days at the end of the week. He complains about how he isn�t able to take the two days off like he wanted, like it�s super unfair or something. I don�t even respond to that and I change the subject.

The next day, I open Instagram and see that his wife is posting about prepping for an anime convention for the weekend. After my first �what the hell?!� initial reaction � Sam had told me they were going to a wedding � I give the benefit of the doubt again � maybe they are going to both the convention and a wedding? Who knows! So the rest of the day and Thursday are fine� Friday Sam was supposed to go for his initial employment drug screen and then fly out after work (we work next door to an airport). Friday rolls around and of course, Sam texts me that he�s sick (IBS this time) but he�ll be online later. Later that night I have dinner with one of the project leads who is complaining that she�s not sure he can perform the job duties - she had asked him to do a pretty basic task and he half-assed it and got a lot of it wrong when he could have asked basic questions. I had a similar issue with him the day before where I had asked him to do a task that he hadn't done before and he "wasn't comfortable with it" - my assistant didn't know how to do it either, but took it over and had it done in 3 hours.

I later learn that that day, he missed his drug screen and never signed online at all. Assistant and I are pretty sure he just took an early flight out of town. I see posts on Instagram all weekend about the anime convention. There was no wedding. I texted the wife on Sunday asking about the weekend and she confirmed that no wedding was involved, just a small dinner that got canceled anyways.

Now at Week 6 � and I�m loving livid. I have barely spoken to him all week, and of course he was working from home again today, bailed on meetings with my team lead and another one of our team members, who are complaining he�s working from home too much (I�ve lost track of how many times he�s done so but now me and other employees are afraid we�ll have our WFH ability taken from us because this one guy is abusing it). He also tends to text me with details when he is late or absent, which is both inappropriate because I'm not in his chain of management, and stresses me out. I've told him that he needs to be talking to his boss instead but that hasn't seemed to sink in.

Reddit, I don�t know what to do. I feel like I need to run a major intervention here. I want to handle this compassionately � I�ve dealt with health problems, I�ve dealt with depression, so I kinda know but again I�m not trans and I�ve never had anywhere near this many problems with work. My ideal outcome is that this guy gets his act together and just gets the job done, which I feel would make it automatically easier to save the friendship. I feel like he didn�t listen to me before, so now I�m wondering if I need to talk to his wife or what else I have to do to get through to him. He is unlikely to get fired for political reasons I�d rather not get into details on (the higher ups need employees from this particular subcontracted staffing firm and this was a hard role to fill; his immediate supervisor is totally checked out; etc).

I also really don't know enough about the side effects of F->M transitioning; I tried to look up how to mitigate the headaches etc but I didn't find anything about headaches from testosterone shots. I know it often comes with horrific depression and such and I want to be sensitive to all of this, but at the same time, he's putting way too much stress on the team at work and on me personally.

TL;DR � I got a friend a very cushy job, his attitude sucks and he�s under-performing/not showing up/I caught him in a lie about PTO. I know he deals with depression and has some medical issues from transitioning his gender, and I need advice on how to handle this compassionately, get him to get on board with the job he was given, not let this ruin my friendships with him and his wife.

Edit - a sentence for clarity

Edit again - I've spoken with his manager about 90% of this and apologized and everyone knows I regret referring him (and my manager knows everything, but we don't share an immediate supervisor, just step-level supervisors). I'd like to reiterate that the person who could fire him is very, very checked out. My boss has no authority in this situation, but she knows everything and says she'd fire him in a heartbeat at this point but she also doubts he will actually get fired.

Week 6? drat, this person really knows how to play you.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:08

DEAD GAY FORUM: Dec 18, 2018; the good posts were inside you all along

Blade Runner posted:

Continuously pressuring someone for sex if they have denied you repeatedly and openly stated they do not want to have sex right then is absolutely sexual assault what in the gently caress is wrong with you

Your opinion is garbage and you're a moron

You are laughably, provably wrong.

You're a hysterical cry baby and your opinion is childish.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:08

TheMaskedUgly: Sep 21, 2008; Let's play a different game.

I'm currently enormously over-estimating the amount of anti-male/pro-female narrative construction ITT

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:13

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

DEAD GAY FORUM posted:

You are laughably, provably wrong.

You're a hysterical cry baby and your opinion is childish.

This will be a constructive 5 page derail

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:15

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

Palpek posted:

From what I've seen a good portion of people who buy them aren't grieving, they get them to roleplay having a child and they pretend the doll is alive. Some of them have specific functions like motorized legs so people can "teach" the child how to walk...forever. One instagram account features a doll made to look like the child is terminally ill and in constant pain - those people aren't grieving either, they just want to roleplay the scenario.

Ok so uh, that's a big ole yikes from me thanks.

Palpek posted:

The whole thing is an unnerving rabbit hole that I don't want to explore any further.

I appreciate your service and acknowledge the suffering you have been through to bring the thread this information.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:15

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Reborn dolls ensnare souls and force them to live out hellish scenarios for the rest of their days.

Those rings are total trash but could only ever be mistaken for costume jewelry. The ring thrower should have been made to dig through poo poo to retrieve it.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

TheMaskedUgly posted:

I'm currently enormously over-estimating the amount of anti-male/pro-female narrative construction ITT

Goons will always find a dumber hill to die on than you expect.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:22

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Hm, the harvest today seems a bit dull. Bf stealing money from gf. Adult daughter mad at dad for dating again. Wife losing too much weight, getting too fit now.

Girlfriend called me the N word during sex.
My girlfriend is white and I�m a white/black mix for the record. She didn�t mean it in a racist way I�m sure but its still been a weird situation. How do we move past this because i feel like shes blowing this way out of proportion. She avoids me and wont even return my texts or calls.

quote:

You have the power to give her "the pass". Get a piece of paper and write "1 N word pass" and give it to her.

Or just try reassuring her it's okay.

Boyfriend is having issues with me losing weight. I lost 100lbs in 2 years and he's being weird about it.
Our Size
I was working on my weight loss before we dated. He is a big guy (lets just say bigger than 3xL) and admitted to me (with my own prompting) that he's more into a womans US L-XL, which is realistic. That was good motivation for me because that was my goal. Id still be "fat" but not far off from a healthy range. Right now I am a L but could fit M if shirts were roomy or long enough for my bust.

My issue
So, he has been less affectionate. I need and thrive off physical affection and attention. I am not getting any, like no cuddles or thigh rubbed. Nada. This has been going on for over half a year. Hes been really stressed with work so I let him play his games.... that calm him down but also enrages him lol.

Ive told him that i need physical affection and if ges too tired for sex he can at least pet my back or let me hug is arm or let me rest my head on his chest. Hes really reluctant (because hes tired and plays Dota2 until past midnight when he has to get up in the morning)

Eventually I gave up asking for cuddles but sat him down 2 months ago and spoke to him about how important my physical needs are and what can we do to problem solve, because 5 months is too long without cuddles... not a euphemism, he wont touch me or let me touch him. (Because its too hot to cuddle/sit next to him, he does run very hot)

What he admitted
He was very vague last week when I sat him down again to talk. No, he is not cheating, hes kinda always had these issues with lack of sex drive and being fatigued. Hes too ashamed for affection because ive lost a lot of weight and hes put on a dangerous amount. He feels lovely about himself and now my new body reminds him that he could have dieted and worked out with me.

And yes i did try to prompt him to eat healthier, walk with me ect. Id make him decent diet foods (like lemon chicken breat with roated veggies and portioned mashed potatoes, while id eat my kale creations) but hed say he ate a large lunch and id find tv dinner or snack wrappers the next morning. It was a waste so id only prompt or ask him to at least track what he eats in a day.

Im not the type to force, nag or control him.

The weird way he treats me
Basically he is treating me like... its just the vibe i get but he treats me like im a stranger. Like im some cute gamer girl hes a fan of thats suddenly living with him but hes too shy/scared to make a move even though we have been dating for 3 years (first year i didnt really lose weight, just plateaued). That is just the vibe i get with him. I know he is not disgusted with my new body, because he is suprised and pleased that there isnt much loose skin. Hed get frisky but then shut down, and the time that happened he admitted his weight added to his stress and he feels its just a bad cycle because of the stress eating. That i am representing the change he should have done and hes not resentful but hes too stressed for affection.

I dont know what to do. I love sex but id be fine with at least cutesy cuddles like laying my head on his chest and reading reddit to him or just playing hearthstone with the occasional, "whatcha up to on your phone?" But im not even getting that and i dont know if i can put up with a dead bedroom, but he is also the ONLY PERSON to make me feel safe and secure, which is what i prioritize more than affection. I may not have had awful exes, but my current one never gave up on me and saved me. Hes got me back on track and if he isnt hurting me, im not leaving him. Im just at a loss because a huge part of my motivation to lose weight was to make him proud and also feel sexy, since i think i already looked very curvy before but chonky, but now im curvy and a little plump.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:30

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

DEAD GAY FORUM posted:

You are laughably, provably wrong.

You're a hysterical cry baby and your opinion is childish.

What

e: So you think that someone denying you for sex but then you hold them down and continue asking them until they say yes is okay, and that thinking it's wrong is childish, to be clear

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:31

Chicken Doodle: May 16, 2007

Power Khan posted:

Boyfriend is having issues with me losing weight. I lost 100lbs in 2 years and he's being weird about it.

Set your goal higher, hon, you can still stand to love another 200+ and it shouldn�t take you two days to do it.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 14:43

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Chicken Doodle posted:

Set your goal higher, hon, you can still stand to love another 200+ and it shouldn�t take you two days to do it.

more like 350 from what she said

quote:

He is a big guy (lets just say bigger than 3xL)

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:04

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for refusing to meet my half sister & cutting my parents out my life?

quote:

My dad cheated on my mom when I was 3 years old. Subsequently, my half sister was born and my dad came clean to my mom and they decided it would be best if he lived this convoluted double life where he�d occasionally take off and have family time with his second kid but I�d never know about it. A LOT of holidays were spent without him being there. At the time they told me he was working.

I�m 24 now and out of nowhere I got a Facebook message from this girl who looks exactly like the girl version of me claiming to be my sister. She told me my dad was also her dad and I went straight to him and he confirmed it all.

He and my mom figured that because I know the truth now, we should be this one creepy happy family and that I should get to know my sister. I was furious at my mom for not seeing my POV even though she had been cheated on. She told me to �mind my own business and it was a long time ago� and was really pushing me to get to know my sister. My dad was also really into the idea and my half sister kept bugging me until my dad gave her my number and she kept trying to message me, call me, etc. She was desperate on the phone to have a sibling bond.

I�ve stopped talking to both my parents and changed my cell phone number, as well as moving to a completely new apartment where they don�t know my address. I�m really angry over this and all my friends keep telling me to get over it because in honesty no one got hurt and the mature decision would be to accept my new life. They told me I went full nuclear and I was rude to my half sister when I should have been nice.

However I�m really angry at both my parents and I literally can�t get over the feeling I�ve been betrayed by them both. My girlfriend is still Facebook friends with my mom and my mom is always begging my girlfriend to tell me to reconcile but I just don�t want to. My gf is solidly on my team but she tells me I need to calm down and think about this. In my mind I�m not the rear end in a top hat but I do keep getting told by my friends that I am.

AITA here?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My 17F Mother 49F Regulates how often I Shower

quote:

Hey Reddit. This one might be a little peculiar. Some obligatory backstory:

I've had this issue since I was about 11, growing up and experiencing things for the first time. I'd come home from a long day at school feeling absolutely disgusting and ask my mom if I could shower. If I showered the day before or two days before she'd start arguing with me as to how I showered yesterday and I didn't need to shower, despite my arguments of having P.E that day or my hair needed to be washed or I felt unclean. She'd also time my showers to be five minutes, going so far as to buy a little timer specifically for the bathroom and make me time myself whenever I showered. Anybody that has experienced puberty knows that five minutes is not enough time to get everything done in the shower, especially as a teen girl. A shower longer than five minutes would mean I was wasting water, so she'd bang on the door, or turn off the power until I got out. I

One time when I was about fifteen I was shaving my legs and refused to get out until I was finished because I had swimming at school the next day which led to my mother banging on the door screaming at me and eventually, trying to get into the bathroom. She broke the bathroom lock.

In recent years since we've moved it hasn't been quite as bad but she still regulates how long and how often I shower. Getting a bath has helped but has opened a while other can of worms with her complaining when I leave the immersion(?) On or even want to have a bath in the first place.

The topic that brought this up was that she was already in a bad mood when I woke up, but when I went downstairs she asked me to go to the shop with her and help her carry the groceries home. I said sure, let me just have a quick shower first and she went ballistic. I have not showered in about 4 days and feel absolutely revolting, so we argued and I ended up saying I'm not going anywhere without having a shower. She stormed out the door without me and here I am waiting for the shower to heat up.

I am sick and tired of having to ask my mom when I can shower. Does anyone have any advice as to what I could do or say to get her to be more lenient?

Cheers.

Tldr; my mom regulates how often I shower

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:33

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Some men are just unaware that dolls exist which are not sex dolls.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:34

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

DemoneeHo posted:

My 17F Mother 49F Regulates how often I Shower

What the gently caress

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:36

Kullik: Jan 5, 2017

DemoneeHo posted:

My 17F Mother 49F Regulates how often I Shower

Lol my mum did this when i was a kid with hot water and baths since we didnt have a shower. you've already bathed twice this week why would you need to go again??!?!?!?!?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:39

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Mother is scared she may touch herself.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:40

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

alphabettitouretti posted:

Hmm should we spend time with a woman who has committed sexual assault and tried to set someone on fire? This is a tricky one, better ask prudence.

Oh go to the BBQ. Someone's face will be held down on that grill. Think of the cool scars!

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:42

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Boy [29M] meets girl [21F], who (due to circumstances) can't seem to leave the house anymore [because of MMOs]
u/WistfulHope
I've been in a really sweet relationship for about 2 years. She's popular, pretty, and intelligent, with a combination of traits I never imagined possible in a non-fictional person. They say opposites attract; but she's almost my mirror image, and it almost seemed like the perfect relationship because we understood each other immediately. Our interests shared many commonalities. It was magical, since we pretty much went from "Hey, I've seen your face before" to spending nights together in a matter of days.

Something happened to her recently, nothing serious, and I've started to think. How do I put words to this feeling I have now? It's kinda hard to say it concretely, but part of me still wants to try, so here goes....

What if your gf got into an accident? Say, the accident cost her the use of her limbs? She wouldn't be able to leave the house on her own or enjoy any hobbies like gardening or sky diving. You'd come home, cook meals for her, and tell her about the things you've seen during the day. Eventually her interest in a world she can't interact with would wane. She wouldn't be able to bring an income into the relationship, though of course love conquers all. And her smile will always be ever so lovely.

Would you stay with her?

Or take it one step further. Say the accident left her bedridden in a coma with no prognosis for recovery. She'd live in the hospital, far from your home. Studying and employment will cease entirely. You could whisper sweet nothings in her ear; she wouldn't smile, wouldn't tell you she loves you. Nothing you do will ever help her condition.

Would you stay with her?

My answer so far would very definitely be a "yes". Call me a romantic. I feel that devotion is about more than just what you feel from day to day, that when I say "I'll be with you forever", I really mean it.

Let's explore one last possibility. What if she was addicted to an mmo at the comatose level? Every waking moment, she's grinding away. She's among the best of the game, achieving server firsts and experiencing new content faster than it comes out. But. Grades are inevitably suffering. Interest in employment or (other) hobbies just isn't there. She never calls, she never writes. She probably wouldn't even smile if I caressed her cheek, whispering "I love you"; I don't know, I've not been afforded the chance ever since she started playing.

Would you stay with her?

Whelp. That's the case. She's been essentially silent for a year now, never responds to my requests to spend time together. She won't even spend time with me in the mmo itself; a game I'm only mildly interested in (yet pretty decent with imho), which I only played for the chance to spend any time with her at all. Call me heartless, but I'm starting to wonder if it's time to move on. She once called me "perfect for her"; does that include my patience with her gaming habits? Does she want me only because I won't chew her out for spending her entire life on a game? Am I being walked all over?

Maybe I'm the perfect one for her, but it's seeming less and less like she's the perfect one for me.

tl;dr: MMOs are ruining my life by taking over hers. Am I in the wrong relationship? ;_;[/quote]

You heartless bastard. You would abandon a girl just because she has not responded to you in a year? What about your deep bond?

quote:

What?! Dude, you don't have a girlfriend. You must know this. There's nothing to move on from.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:42

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ad090 posted:

AITA for refusing to meet my half sister & cutting my parents out my life?

I'm impressed that everyone in this story except OP is mainlining some real powerful crazy pills. Dad must feel like a goddamn cult leader sexual dynamo

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:46

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

Maybe mother grew up poor with little water for showering and or the family is / was poor and the mother kept the habit of saving money by using less water?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:48

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Half sister did nothing wrong. Well maybe she's coming on a bit strong, but being the secret daughter for 21 years is going to leave scars. OP is well within her rights to not want a relationship, though.

Also the parents are handling it really badly. I think for most people once the shock and anger wore off, curiosity would take over and she'd at least meet her half sister. But pushing it is just going to lead to a push back. Which is what's happened.

VERDICTS:
Main character: NTA
Half sister: NTA by reason of trauma
Mother: Halfway to an rear end in a top hat. She's still a victim here, but she's not handled anything well.
Father: Double rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:57

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

I feel bad for both half-siblings in the story. I'm guessing the half-sister was finally told she had a half-brother and probably got psyched up for some idyllic sibling meetup/wants to get to know her sibling and is completely shot down. Dad gives her the number! That must be positive! Still shut down.

At the same time, the OP has this bomb dropped out of the blue, a complete stranger is pressing to get to know him, and he found out his dad was gone a lot growing up because he had a secret second child.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 15:58

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

TIFU by stumbling across my mom�s affair...

quote:

(I started writing this when the whole situation first happened, but it started to get more and more complex, so I�ve been waiting to get as much info as possible, and it�s been about two months since the first incident.)So here�s some background information, my parents have been together 19 years. My dad�s the real provider for the family, he was in the military for 26 years, but retired after being hurt in a car accident. He still makes good money off his new job and Veteran�s Affairs checks. My mom spends a lot of his money on clothing and purses and other stuff, but it�s kind of okay because she�s a stay at home mom. The one thing I was always upset about her was that she traveled a lot, never taking any of my family with her. Me(16M), and my two little brothers(11) never have traveled anywhere with her. With that out of the way, here�s the story. I was just playing Red Dead Redemption 2, and my mom came down to watch me play because that�s her way of interacting with me. She kept asking questions about the story and stuff, and I�d tell her to listen to the characters and cutscenes but she wouldn�t listen because she was just texting on her phone. Eventually, I was annoyed and said, �Let�s see what�s keeping you busy.� I tried to grab the phone jokingly, but she got scared and pulled away, which got me interested. I left the room and five minutes later, I came back and took her phone right out of her hands while she wasn�t looking, she started screaming and chasing me around. I tried to read but I couldn�t read the texts, but I recognized the name(we�ll call her V, who�s a female). She was upset and left, and I figured something was up because if there was nothing to hide she wouldn�t have acted this way. So I knew something was wrong. I acted distant the next few days because I was worried about what was wrong and that she was hiding stuff from me. A couple days past, and she sat me down before school, and asked me what I saw on her phone. Now since I didn�t know any specifics, I didn�t want her to know that so I just said, �You tell me.� That�s when she basically said, �You saw what I was talking to V about. How I like-like her.� And guess what happened the next day. My dad told me he knew that I knew. WHICH MEANS HE KNOWS ABOUT THE AFFAIR!!!! He said that he doesn�t like it, but he has a couple reasons for tolerating it. 1.He still loves her, 2.He doesn�t want to break the family up, and 3.She says she�s �exploring herself� so he feels like it would be unfair to give her an ultimatum. I was pissed. My dad is sacrificing so much, including his self respect and happiness, and my moms sleeping around with her best friend.

Now about two months have passed, and my dad is still unhappy, my mom still doing this, and she�s barely at home anymore. She�s at V�s house 24/7 basically.(Another fun side note, V also has a husband and two kids, and her husband also knows and is also very sad and upset with this).

And the worst part is, my mom keeps making me and my dad hang out with V. She�ll make us have dinner with her and her family, and it�s so awkward and painful. I�m just really pissed off that my mom is just tearing apart my family and making us unhappy, just for her sake.

For those of you that read this far, thank you for listening, and I hope you don�t gently caress up like I did. Moral of the story is don�t read other people�s phones...

TLDR:I read my mom�s phone, stumbled across her affair with her best friend, and my family�s falling apart, yay!

This kid sounds like a total rear end in a top hat regardless of his weird parents.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:01

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

My (20M) girlfriend (19F) think it is okay to drink alone with a guy friend who has previously tried to make moves on her.

quote:

SO, this relationship is pretty new. About 1 month.

She occasionally goes out to drink with this guy friend of hers. They usually drive to a public pool and dip their feet in the water. She said he tried to make a move on her 3 years ago and then 1 year ago. She shot both attempts down, but says she can still maintain a friendship with him.

I told her I think this is really disrespectful to myself and the relationship. If I was in her shoes, I would cut someone off who has previously tried to make moves on me and I am in a relationship. She seemed to discount this and says I am misunderstanding it. She is open to me meeting him so I can feel better about it.

I don't know what to think. Am I being unreasonable? I really like this person and we click, but this is a bit of a red flag for me.

tldr - Gf think it is OK to drink alone with guy friend who has previously tried to hook up with her. I think it is disrespectful and undermines our relationship. What should I do?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

cool always wondered what happened to the Final Fantasy house.

lmao

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:03

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I spoilered the actual punishment, take a guess before reading.
AITA for refusing to have my daughter's hair cut short because she cut her stepsister's hair when she was sleeping?

quote:

Well, I'm in some deep poo poo.
Wife and I have been married for 5 years. I have a 14yo daughter and a 11yo stepdaughter. This happened on Sunday and I was hanging out with my friends at that time. When I returned, my wife told me that she was really upset with Madison ( my bio daughter ). Both the girls were in their rooms and my wife told me what happened.

Madison wanted to prank Taylor ( my stepdaughter ) and she ended up hacking her hair off when Taylor was asleep and continued to do so even after she woke up. She did it in an uneven fashion and it looked really bad. Taylor was really upset and crying. So they went to the salon and they had to cut off most of her hair. She ended up with really short hair and it didn't look fashionable. I felt really sorry for her.

I asked Madison why she did that and she told me that she was really sorry and she didn't realize that it would end up like this. So I took the girls out for some ice cream and pizza. They got along well. Madison apologised and Taylor was fine.

Now my wife insists that I should have Madison's hair cut in a similar fashion as her punishment. She thinks it's fair. I did nit agree with her. We can ground her for doing that, but I think doing the same would be way too harsh. Wife is upset and has refused to talk to me till I give in. AITA here?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:04

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

chitoryu12 posted:

TIFU by stumbling across my mom�s affair...

This kid sounds like a total rear end in a top hat regardless of his weird parents.

Yet except for the two little brothers he is the least assholish person in the story.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:05

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Xenocides posted:

Yet except for the two little brothers he is the least assholish person in the story.

Which is really saying something about this family!

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Piell posted:

I spoilered the actual punishment, take a guess before reading.
AITA for refusing to have my daughter's hair cut short because she cut her stepsister's hair when she was sleeping?

Maybe he is ESL and thought punishments were like jokes?

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:21

Comradephate: Feb 28, 2009; College Slice

Piell posted:

I spoilered the actual punishment, take a guess before reading.
AITA for refusing to have my daughter's hair cut short because she cut her stepsister's hair when she was sleeping?

The kids are over it and the daughter seems to have acknowledged that she did a bad.

The actual what the gently caress is that the daughter who cut her sister's hair in her sleep is not 4 years old, as I would have guessed, she is 14 years old.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ulex minor posted:

no, no, even if those realistic baby dolls are very weird, you definitely have the high ground over someone whose first thought when they see one is to make a 'joke' about making a sex doll out of it

agreed. also they're mostly for like, people who lost their babies or whose husbands won't let them have kids and are adapting Really badly

it's not a place non-broken people go, don't mock them, it's cruel

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I hope that dad and daughter actually planned to be intentionally late. That the daughter wanted more time with friends because no 16 year old wants a family only birthday party and dad is cool and agreed. That the narcissist mom and grandparents have always been like this and those two were like "you know what? gently caress this. We'll say there was traffic."

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:33

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My [28 F] Ex/Close Friend [50 M] Thinks I�m Being a Victim Because I Don�t Want To Ask My Partner [60s M] for Financial Help/Commitment

quote:

I [29 F] have been friends with Patrick for 5 years. We dated briefly as a rebound for both of us, but I pulled away because I didn�t feel a connection. Nevertheless, we stayed good friends.

He�s an artist and I spend a lot of time helping him with projects because I love him, believe in him and want to see him succeed. He also is very supportive of my personal growth and protective towards me.

We have been friends with an art collector named �James� 60s for 4 years. He bought one of Patrick�s art pieces and became part of our core friend group.

James has been a caring friend to me. When I was suicidal he came and visited me in the hospital almost everyday. He also tried to help me get a job when I got out and has helped me financially at different times.

James and Patrick are two pieces of my heart, and I feel very loyal to both men. There are many, many examples of both of them doing things to make my life easier and happier.

Nine months ago, I had a drug overdose in James� apartment and almost died. Instead of calling 911, he called Patrick. Patrick came in ready to take a swing at James because he was so angry at him for giving me drugs.

Patrick said he thought I was going to die in his arms and was furious at James for being negligent with me. James apologized to me both privately, and publicly in front of our friend group. He said he made a terrible mistake.

After this experience, I was finally able to get sober, after years of struggling, and have stayed sober. James has been incredibly supportive of my sobriety. After this incident we actually got much closer since I opened up to him a lot about my struggles with drinking, and he responded with a lot of encouragement and pride in my progress.

James also started doing a lot more for me and treating me like a girlfriend, taking me on trips, helping me pay my bills, etc. James is wealthy. Incredibly wealthy. I read about him in the newspaper. We sometimes take a private plane when we travel, etc.

I am the exact opposite in terms of my finances. I was doing well when we met, but I started struggling with my mental health and addiction and lost almost everything. I can barely pay my rent and will probably go into sex work while I try and find something else. But I have never asked James for anything, ever. He�s my friend and I enjoy his company and that�s why it clicks with us.

James and I recently went on vacation together. Before the trip, Patrick told me that I need to make a list of difficult questions to ask James. James and I have been dating casually for three years and more seriously for the nine months since I got sober.

Patrick says its the time to ask James questions like if he wants to be monogamous or not. If I can depend on him to support me financially and if he can commit to me. I will be honest, I did not ask James any of these questions about commitment and monogamy.

I feel like my reasons are clear for why I didn�t discuss these topics with him. I�m not a gold-digger, I want to learn to take care of myself without other people, and as much as I love him, I think I am being realistic about not trying to pull more of a commitment together.

Patrick is upset right now at me because I didn�t sufficiently discuss these issues with James on our trip. He says I am acting like a �love-able victim� and it�s time to stop being a �school girl in love.�

He says James almost killed me by not calling 911, and that I am an incredible girlfriend to him and he should take better care of me because he can afford to do so. He says this is a business agreement, not an emotional decision, and I need to stand up for myself.

Relevant info is that Patrick has been angry at James ever since because he feels that I could have died, and James doesn�t seem to understand how badly he hosed up. He says James is lucky I didn�t bring a lawsuit against him for calling 911.

He also feels James should do more to thank him for helping me. Patrick also sends James passive aggressive texts asking for money, which annoys James.

Patrick wants to meet up right away to discuss this, and I�m wondering how to have a conversation without coming across as defensive. I had an incredible trip with James and this whole thing is putting a bad taste in my mouth. But I am also worrying that Patrick is right.

My close friends who know all three of us are divided. My dearest girlfriend says Patrick is being incredibly rude towards James in thinking James owes anyone money, and patronizing towards me.

On the other hand, my parents and other close friends think James should take better care of me because I�m a loyal and consistent partner and that�s hard to find at his age, and he doesn�t cherish that enough.

I feel angry at Patrick for getting involved in what I feel is a non-situation, but I also have a history of being in physically and emotionally abusive relationships prior to meeting Patrick and James, as well as diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder traits, so I feel that I am sometimes an unreliable narrator and not good at listening and acknowledging my needs.

TLDR: close male friend is upset because he feels my current partner should provide more for me financially, doesn�t cherish me enough. Says I am acting like a foolish little girl

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:35

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

There's a woman that has her poo poo together.

It's nice how they thought she was dying but still didn't seek out medical care.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:43

IG-88: Apr 21, 2019

LadyPictureShow posted:

My [28 F] Ex/Close Friend [50 M] Thinks I�m Being a Victim Because I Don�t Want To Ask My Partner [60s M] for Financial Help/Commitment

Obviously the answer to this is to enter a poly relationship.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:48

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:24

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Honestly, she can just wait out this whole situation.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 16:52

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