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wedgie deliverer
Oct 2, 2010

Not an advice column but feels relevant to this thread:

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/please-my-wife-shes-very-online

quote:

In January, a rumor made the rounds on Twitter that there had been a falling-out among a group of men who ran a popular meme account called Da Share Z0ne, one of whom had angrily removed everyone else from the account because another member had been “talking to his wife.

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DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


i thought da share z0ne was drew toothpaste

in which case yeah he’s a thin skinned alpha geek what else is new

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling strangers that my wife and I are married?

My wife gets upset when I do this but I feel like I'm in the right here. If we are at a bar or a party, we usually go our own separate ways to socialize. I'll notice that she'll be talking to a guy that neither of us have met before and I can see on his face that he's into her. So I'll head over to where she's at and grab her, give her a kiss and compliment her. Something like "She's so funny. That's why I married her." Then I leave so she can continue talking. Almost every time, the guy ends up leaving after I do. She's never really flirting with these guys, just talking sports or politics. But she's beautiful and very smart and she has a knack for being very personable so they assume she is flirting. She says all she is trying to do is have a conversation with a stranger but I'll I'm doing is letting people know we are married. If it was just a conversation, they should still be able to talk to her even though she's taken. AITA?

They leave the conversation afterwards because you awkwardly interrupted it and they don't want to have to deal with an insecure dipshit all evening, you dipshit.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

Dazerbeams posted:

There’s a chance the husband quietly agrees with his dad.

imo more likely that he's just not seeing the problem. straight dudes are champions at being oblivious to that kinda poo poo

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

quote:

. The personality type of the majority of nurses and doctors also usually majorly conflicts with my personality type. I'm also autistic (very high functioning) which adds a whole other layer to sensory issues 

Oh yes very high functioning indeed

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Why do men always say that divorce means losing half of their stuff? It's splitting your shared stuff.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Djeser posted:

imo more likely that he's just not seeing the problem. straight dudes are champions at being oblivious to that kinda poo poo

Schrodingers acquiescence, she needs to call him on it and collapse the waveform.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Because the men who say that think women bring nothing to the table.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
Fuckin' men, how I loath them.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe
MY BOYFRIEND (24M) LIED TO ME (24F) ABOUT SMOKING FOR 6 YEARS

quote:

My bf and I are in LDR for almost 7 yrs. 10 days ago, I took leaves to go and see him, so yesterday after I played pubg, I said "love u" to my bf because I'm in a good mood. He then said 'are u going to feel the same after I told u something?"

Later that night, he told me that he's been smoking behind my back for years. I was so disappointed and hurt, mostly because he lied to me. He knew I hated people smoking because it's bad for health but he hid it from me. I was so embarassed cause I told my families and friends that he don't smoke.

On top of it, the night we fought, he went out for a smoke. I was so crushed by it, 6 yrs...what kind of girlfriend am I that my own partner have to hide it for years? What should I do? I love him so much but I can't seem to forgive and forget.

TL;DR: I really don't know what should I do. I really love him so much but I feel extremely betrayed. Please help me...


He's laying the ground work for the old "stepping out for some smokes" trick.

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
Update from the girl dating the Bioshock diaper fetish guy

quote:

Hi I spoke to him about and he gave me the same answer of sorry I'll change and it's pretty obvious it will repeat again as it already happen countless of times. We fought and I just broke up with him and took my things from his place.

DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness
didn't one of them actually gently caress drew's wife (thus the "da share my wife z0ne" jokes)

you can see when he cut them outta the account because it turned toothless and boring

ad090
Oct 4, 2013

claws for alarm
AITA for not attending any gay pride events next weekend in support of my brother?

quote:

Using a throwaway and I've read the sticky, this is a very personal post and not in any way political about gay rights or anything like that.

My brother is one of those kids who we knew was gay from the time he could walk and talk. It's really no big deal and it's just who he is. However there are 4 kids total (I'm the oldest, 10 years separates all of us, brother in question is youngest) and this brother is the absolute golden child of the family. He has been in all manner of trouble; things like stealing almost $20,000 from our grandparents, armed robbery, drugs, aggravated DUI and on and on. However my parents have bailed him out at every single turn. He is also incredibly arrogant on top of all this and I can barely tolerate him. My two middle sisters have been really guilted by my parents into always being there for my brother and I've definitely become something of a black sheep because I just can't deal with him. Now that he's "clean" (which I seriously question) the family has been expected to rally around him. He's living with my parents and I have been going over for Sunday dinner so I'm not avoiding him by any stretch.

There is a huge pride event in Bisbee, AZ and my family is expecting all of us to pack up, drive for 4 hours share an Airbnb with 7 adults and 2 kids all so we can watch my brother be in a parade, in addition to just sort of being around for the entire weekend. In addition to everything I mentioned above, I've very agoraphobic and I just don't enjoy crowds. My parents know this about me and still are insisting I go. They and my sisters are really trying to guilt me into saying basically that Philos has been clean for almost a year now and if we don't support him then we don't know how bad the fall may be.

Then I got this little gem via text from my brother last night:

"So I heard you weren't going to Bisbee with us, well I want you to know if there were a weekend for homophobic, introverted pieces of poo poo that hate their own family, I would go to support you. Piece of poo poo."

Am I the rear end in a top hat here?

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

tactlessbastard posted:

MY BOYFRIEND (24M) LIED TO ME (24F) ABOUT SMOKING FOR 6 YEARS


He's laying the ground work for the old "stepping out for some smokes" trick.

the fact he managed to hide it for six years is kind've impressive and makes me wonder about all sorts of things in their relationship.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Motherfucker posted:

the fact he managed to hide it for six years is kind've impressive and makes me wonder about all sorts of things in their relationship.

My job makes a very aromatic product and I come home smelling so strongly of it that I could be taking massive rips from a bong in the car the whole way home and nobody would know.

6 years, though. That's what caught my attention, too.


quote:

AITA for not attending any gay pride events next weekend in support of my brother?

Hell no

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

ad090 posted:

AITA for not attending any gay pride events next weekend in support of my brother?

nah gently caress that guy. If this thread has taught me anything its that being expected to love / tolerate / be there for someone on the basis of familial relationships alone with no other redeeming qualities besides is basically bullshit emotional blackmail which incidentally seems to be the brother's gimmick and I'm sure everyone at pride would be real proud of him for pulling that kind've poo poo.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


Caesar Saladin posted:

its absolutely normal to be bothered by your friend loving your mum, and mums should avoid loving their friends sons, and you shouldn't try to gently caress your friends mothers, all of this is obvious

what the heck is going on here?

Its normal to be bothered by it, it's not normal to say "THEY BETRAYED ME! I'M GOING NO CONTACT"

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib

ad090 posted:

AITA for not attending any gay pride events next weekend in support of my brother?

Go to a rival pride event duh.

Rubellavator
Aug 16, 2007

AlBorlantern Corps posted:

Its normal to be bothered by it, it's not normal to say "THEY BETRAYED ME! I'M GOING NO CONTACT"

This man has hosed his friends mom

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Rubellavator posted:

This man has hosed his friends mom

who hasn't, heyooo

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
You are only allowed to bang your friend's mom if the friend's name is Stacy.

Jack-Off Lantern
Mar 2, 2012

Motherfucker posted:

the fact he managed to hide it for six years is kind've impressive and makes me wonder about all sorts of things in their relationship.

Maybe they're one of those online couples.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Motherfucker posted:

who hasn't, heyooo

You motherfu--

Oh, I see.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Motherfucker posted:

Fuckin' men, how I loath them.

They drive me to drink!

Pinecone Sample posted:

Update from the girl dating the Bioshock diaper fetish guy

A woman chooses, an idiot obeys.

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
at this point "idk gently caress his / her mom" is my default advice to solve every one of these relationship issues

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
Open the relationship

With his mom

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

zakharov posted:

You are only allowed to bang your friend's mom if the friend's name is Stacy.

true story the dude who wrote that song? tom petty. it's his second most karaoke'd song short of Hotel California

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for expecting sugarbaby reciprocation?

AITA when she asks for expensive gifts that I ask for reciprocation, usually in the form of some male fantasy?

Isn't this totally normal or have I completely misunderstood the whole point of this kind of relationship.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

10 days ago:

Am I (25F) justified in ending a friendship with (36F) who is currently in a bad relationship?

quote:

So a little bit of background on my friendship with Jess. Jess is a 36 year old mother of one son around 6ish. I met her through my significant other, as they were friends previous to our relationship and we hit it off great. She works full-time as a medical technician and is going to school to pursue nursing, although hasn't had an easy time academically. Because I am pursuing nursing myself, my friends and I got Jess through a good portion of her undergrad curriculum.

When I felt taking advantage of about a year-and-a-half ago when I was taking an entire course for her, I set some boundaries regarding academics and my contribution to her school work. I would help, but I wouldn't do it for her. We had a short falling out, and reconnected with the new boundaries being upheld. She still doesn't have her degree after a couple of years, and is failing classes back to back.

Jess was the victim of a violent crime nearly 10 years ago where the perpetrator was identified last year using a DNA test kit. A mutual friend, myself and Jess attended every single trial through the entirety of the last year (despite it being an hour and a half drive one way for myself, I canceled plans, took school off, etc be able to make it to every single one of these trials). It was a horrible time during the transition, Jess was drinking heavily and we were worried about her. Eventually, the perpetrator is found guilty. Eventually it seemed to taper off after a couple of months and she was more herself.

Jess has a history of drug use. Not such a big deal to me, because the entirety of our friendship I have not known Jess to use anything besides alcohol heavily. She's been pretty put together up until now regarding her day-to-day life. She works, goes to school, hangs out with her son, drinks. Repeat. I'm not much of a drinker, but I've never been quick to judge because she's an adult and can make her own decisions.

Jess has an abusive ex, Kyle. Kyle is the father of her son, that's they've kept in contact. In the past year, Jess has been dating Kyle again. We warned her otherwise, and have made boundaries that Kyle is not allowed in my house as well as our mutual friends houses.

about two months ago, there was a breakdown in communication and Jess drove about two hours out to my town to hang out, but after plans were confused, she didn't want to wait 15 minutes for me to drive out and had a meltdown. We've been no contact since.

Yesterday, Jess calls me yet because Kyle was arrested for domestic violence. I have a history of a violent relationship, and am in treatment for PTSD. I have communicated before that I couldn't be involved if abuse had started to happen because of my history and healing process. She was in the hospital and had to get staples, she asked me to come down and initially I said yes. After about a half an hour of thinking it over, I ultimately re-contacted her and decided against it.

I'm to the end of my rope. The friendship is now affecting me negatively, and despite boundaries but he put in place, I feel as if I am putting a hundred percent of the effort into our relationship because Jess is just not able to. I feel like a terrible friend because I'm walking out in her time of need, but things in my life are finally starting to go right and I really want to maintain this good trajectory that I'm on in my own life.

Edit: I'm scared to stay in a friendship just with the obligation of being a caregiver. I mentally ill myself and putting every last scrap of energy into my recovery. I'm scared that I'm going to form a codependent relationship with this person and that I'm not going to be able to break free from from. I don't have enough energy to spend on keeping other people happy and keeping myself 100%.

I'm not sure if I should be buckling down and trying to help twice as hard as I am, or just walk away because of the negative effects that I'm experiencing?

TLDR: My friend has been steadily going downhill for a year-and-a-half after DNA test kit identifies her assailant and he is put in jail. She rekindles a relationship with her son's father, who is abusive. After some months, our friendship inevitably breaks down and we go no- contact. Some months pass and she contacts me in her time of need in the ER after she is attacked by her ex. I am unsure of where to go from here.

2 hours ago:

quote:

I know my post didn't get a lot of attention I wanted to update for my peace of mind.

Jess called me 26 times last night after me going no-contact since my first post. She has been constantly texting me horrible things (I hope you die, your abusive ex should have killed you, you ruined my son's life, etc). Although I am a devistated, I have held my ground.

Jess fled to Florida last week and I have no idea what is happening now.

I'm also not sure if I mentioned this in the last post, but Jess is sleeping with our (married) local prosecutor (who has pulled legal strings for her countless times) and I think that he will get involved with whatever CPS is trying to do.

I feel hopeless so I blocked Jess's contact info, and am keeping records to hand to the investigator involved with her son's case. I can't do anything else currently and it hurts.

I'm not sure if they'll be returning back to my state, I'm not sure if she is using with her son around.

I feel lost and I wish I could help, but I can't. I'm just trying to accept that and do what I can.

TLDR: My friend is ill. I filed a CPS claim after her abusive partner attacked her in front of their son. My friend blamed me and has been blowing up my phone constantly. She fled the state last week and contacted me yesterday again and I feel hopeless but am holding firm on my boundaries.

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

ad090 posted:

AITA for not attending any gay pride events next weekend in support of my brother?

NTA. Rest of family is a bunch of a holes though.

I'm really lucky my family is not dogshit. I really don't know people with tough families survive. Life is hard enough with a good family.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

alphabettitouretti posted:

Isn't this totally normal or have I completely misunderstood the whole point of this kind of relationship.

his expectations are 'normal' for a given value of normal considering its clearly based on hosed up internet meme, but she is basically treating it like a regular rear end relationship... which is also weird because why would you bang this stupid old pervert if you did not want access to his cash?


Its the exact kind of everybody loses knot of tangled interwoven madness I crave.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

AITA for feeling Joy that my Ex's life is going downward

quote:

So I was in Love with an Indian girl from India she moved to US and TBH i thought we would of married. Instead after being here for 8-9 months she told me she had a "Plan B" incase we didn't work so she can marry someone and get a green card. I at first was shocked and thought it was a joke but it was True. So after Months of trying to work the relationship and me finally moving from NJ to GA to be with her, I find out who the other (fat white guy) was ( I am also fat white guy) and she cut my off entirely.

AITA That now after 9 months and all her planning of working this guy and all her step mom dies in India so she has to go back, and I know she won't leave her father so She will have to stay in India. So I am Happy her life is falling apart and all she worked for is going to be worthless. The Dumb guy who wouldn't even talk to me so I can tell him the story IDK if he married her but she won't come back to US. She also can't bring her father and two step sister to US. So she is hosed, and I am Happy she is.

Karma

So AITA? I am being bitter since I didn't move on and I do Love her still. But how she left me like dirt so she can go ahead and be with this guy for a green card. Ha, life is a bitch.

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

Motherfucker posted:

Perhaps but that's something for the in group of the relationship, between her and the bestie, to work out between them. None of the narrator's fuckin' business. I mean its probably sexist of me but I highly doubt she groomed him and I'm pretty sure he didn't drive around there at a convenient moment because he had a gun to his head or anything. Like call me crazy but I think there's a big difference between fuckin' and pursuing a relationship with regards to age gaps in adults.

It is pretty sexist in the sense that if we did the whole flip the genders routine, whether or not you think it's valid to do that, the thread would be calling him a creepy pedo who should be murdered and debating over how bad her daddy issues are

Regardless it's totally fair for him not to be okay with his best friend loving his mom, the age gap thing is an externality that makesme think it's gross, but I feel like you're being a little silly if you insist it's dumb for someone to freak out and walk in on his friend loving his mother, or that it's none of his business

e: whoa geeze the app didn't reload the thread since I last looked and this was like two pages ago sorry

Another Bill
Sep 27, 2018

I stumbled ass-backwards into a comfortable, easy life for reasons beyond my comprehension and now I think I'm better than you for it.

Hellblazer187 posted:


I'm really lucky my family is not dogshit. I really don't know people with tough families survive. Life is hard enough with a good family.

I'm feeling this. I have a great family who I love and always supported me and enjoy hanging out with and they still drive me loving crazy sometimes.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Blade Runner posted:

e: whoa geeze the app didn't reload the thread since I last looked and this was like two pages ago sorry

Word. But like the thread has already concluded, getting mad is still the weirdest way you could go on that one emotionally.

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

Motherfucker posted:

Word. But like the thread has already concluded, getting mad is still the weirdest way you could go on that one emotionally.

It also immediately happened when he wrote that post and he's prolly trying to deal with the feelings he's having in the moment, to be fair

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

chitoryu12 posted:

I am also a fat white guy

You don't say?

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Blade Runner posted:

It is pretty sexist in the sense that if we did the whole flip the genders routine,

no one does this. no one should ever do this, it's facile and an utterly useless waste of thought. society does not treat men and women equally, nothing valid can be drawn from this comparison.

Patrick Spens
Jul 21, 2006

"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
Pillbug

Motherfucker posted:

Word. But like the thread has already concluded, getting mad is still the weirdest way you could go on that one emotionally.

Mad is one of the emotions that it's most okay for men to feel, so we'll often express other emotions as anger.

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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

no one does this. no one should ever do this, it's facile and an utterly useless waste of thought. society does not treat men and women equally, nothing valid can be drawn from this comparison.

Just because society doesn't treat men and women equally doesn't mean we shouldn't.

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