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So is everyone else married already? I'm getting hitched in October! We wanted something other than a church, barn or plantation house, so we picked a state park ~1hr from town that has a kickass pavilion and lawn along the river. We also want traveling family to be able to make a weekend out of it, so there's a small inn and a handful of cabins for guests, a golf course across the road, outdoorsy stuff, and a few quaint little town centers nearby. She has a couple friends handling most of the details - seems weird to me but apparently they all pitch-in for each other's weddings. Planning to honeymoon in New Mexico and hit the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. I haven't actually presented her with the ring yet, because it's still in production. My mom gave me her wedding set and told me to ditch the bands and re-set the diamonds. I wanted something special and talked a several local jewelers, but wasn't getting very far so I turned to the internet! Custom Made used to be like a high-end Etsy, but now they're apparently all about jewelry. Their customer service is outstanding - listened to my ideas and made suggestions, did multiple concept sketches and 3D renderings, and were super friendly. But I'm still waiting on the final product - assuming it's delivered on time the whole process will have taken ~9 weeks, with a cost on-par with buying a nice setting off the rack. I've shown the designs to her best friend and have her approval, but it's definitely unique so I'm praying it doesn't turn out cheesy.
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Feb 15, 2019 15:59
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Oh hey fellow engaged person! I thought this thread was dead. I'm trying to do what your fiancee is doing wrt pawning off massive sections of planning. Turns out my mother really cares about flowers so I'm going to just let her take the lead on it since my opinions on them are pretty much "we should have some, and I'd like to do something cool involving feathers". Engagement party is this weekend and I'm going to try to get the bridal party nice and tipsy and then make them decide what they're wearing. Anyone have any thoughts about bridesmens outfits? I don't want him to be mistaken for a groomsman. Groomsmen are wearing grey suits with maroon accents, would having a different brighter color for accents be enough?
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Feb 18, 2019 19:36
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Guildenstern Mother posted:Oh hey fellow engaged person! I thought this thread was dead. I'm trying to do what your fiancee is doing wrt pawning off massive sections of planning. Turns out my mother really cares about flowers so I'm going to just let her take the lead on it since my opinions on them are pretty much "we should have some, and I'd like to do something cool involving feathers". Engagement party is this weekend and I'm going to try to get the bridal party nice and tipsy and then make them decide what they're wearing. Mine had the same suit as the groomsmen, but matched color with the bridesmaids. (He also got a bouquet.)
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Feb 18, 2019 19:51
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I think he'd like having a bouquet actually. Completely random question, I was going down the rabbit hole of weddingwire advice articles and came across one about how to pee in a wedding dress. It suggested a team approach might be necessary if the dress is huge and has a big train. Ideally mine will be big enough to require a second bridal party of powerlifters to deal with, but now I'm concerned.
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Feb 18, 2019 20:04
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Guildenstern Mother posted:I think he'd like having a bouquet actually. My wife was told to do the AC Slater. I think she still needed help from one of her friends though to avoid rubbing the train on the front of the toilet.
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Feb 18, 2019 20:36
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Guildenstern Mother posted:I think he'd like having a bouquet actually. I saw something that advised buying one of those blue Ikea bags and cutting a slit in the bottom just big enough to fit over your hips. When you want to pee, you step in the hole, put the dress in the bag, and put the straps on your shoulders so you can have both hands free.
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Feb 18, 2019 21:59
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Guildenstern Mother posted:Oh hey fellow engaged person! I thought this thread was dead. I'm trying to do what your fiancee is doing wrt pawning off massive sections of planning. Turns out my mother really cares about flowers so I'm going to just let her take the lead on it since my opinions on them are pretty much "we should have some, and I'd like to do something cool involving feathers". Engagement party is this weekend and I'm going to try to get the bridal party nice and tipsy and then make them decide what they're wearing. Maroon suits with gray accents hth
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Feb 21, 2019 22:29
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So I started my registry, which of course means I spent 4 hours last night reading reviews and rankings of towel and bed linen reviews because I apparently smoke way too much weed after work. What are you kids asking wedding santa for?
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Feb 28, 2019 23:33
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Guildenstern Mother posted:So I started my registry, which of course means I spent 4 hours last night reading reviews and rankings of towel and bed linen reviews because I apparently smoke way too much weed after work. What are you kids asking wedding santa for? I went to bed bath and beyond and scanned poo poo until my eyes bled, then scanned more, also my wife scanned things, we got more things she scanned including like some $200 steamer WE HAVEN'T loving USED WHY THE gently caress DID SHE SCAN IT ARGH
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Feb 28, 2019 23:39
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Do they have roombas there? Scanning seems easier than hunting down poo poo on Amazon.
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Mar 1, 2019 03:23
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We scanned a bunch of junk at bed bath and beyond just for the purpose of returning and buying the more expensive things we actually want that no one would buy.
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Mar 1, 2019 13:56
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Guildenstern Mother posted:So I started my registry, which of course means I spent 4 hours last night reading reviews and rankings of towel and bed linen reviews because I apparently smoke way too much weed after work. What are you kids asking wedding santa for? Six kitchenaid mixers of various colors Or five kitchenaid mixers of various colors that can form together into a sixth more powerful kitchenaid mixer, of various colors
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Mar 1, 2019 22:18
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So I went wedding dress shopping and I loved all of them, but I was showing off pictures today and my coworker thought telling me I looked fat in all my pictures was a hilarious way to tease me. I'm really a bit hosed up about it and feel like I should go try on completely different dresses or drop 30 pounds or something.
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Apr 3, 2019 06:40
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Holy poo poo. Fuuuuuuuck your coworker, dude. That is a person who you should not tell anything else to about your wedding or your life. They do not want you to be happy or feel pretty and gently caress them. Pick literally anyone else to share your joy with because all they want to do is knock over your sand castle. None of what they said is rooted in anything that matters.
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Apr 3, 2019 14:36
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yea gently caress that person entirely, sounds like mb someone who is insecure about their own weight or relationship status
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Apr 4, 2019 02:50
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I think that is grounds for punching them in the face.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:27
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Yeah he's a miserable rear end in a top hat in general.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:53
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Guildenstern Mother posted:So I started my registry, which of course means I spent 4 hours last night reading reviews and rankings of towel and bed linen reviews because I apparently smoke way too much weed after work. What are you kids asking wedding santa for? We asked for donations to our preferred local charities. Some friends still gave us cash, we donated that as well. Asian-style weddings mean that requesting only cash isn't a faux pas, for which I am eternally grateful. No useless wine fridges here!
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Apr 8, 2019 20:18
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Guildenstern Mother posted:So I started my registry, which of course means I spent 4 hours last night reading reviews and rankings of towel and bed linen reviews because I apparently smoke way too much weed after work. What are you kids asking wedding santa for? We've already booked our honeymoon and paid up for hotels and flights but have asked for something towards that. We're doing a once-in-a-lifetime style trip so any contribution will be great. We've lived together since 2012 so we don't need towels or a toaster. Though my partner does have his eye on a plug-in pizza oven...
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Apr 8, 2019 20:42
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We did our wedding registry through Zola, they have a bunch of wine fridges and poo poo in their register, but for like 3% off the top, they will hold all your orders and just send you the cash, but still generate a list of what each person "bought" for you so you can write then a We also did a straight cash donation thing too for a big trip we want to take next year. So far three people have mailed us crap directly but most of the gifts came straight through the Zola site so we're looking forward in to converting that into Amazon purchases of the things we actually need. Being adults we already have pretty nice things so it's pretty limited what Zola has that we couldn't get from Amazon for less or a better brand elsewhere. Honestly all we want at this point is some really nice matching glassware, silverware, and full plated set. Oh and an all-clad copper core set. We don't need a walnut handled cheese grater or whatever poo poo from sur la table Edit: can confirm, plug in toaster ovens are super rad, won one at a college raffle, used the poo poo out of it. Later we got an oversized toaster oven (it's the top one on Amazon, it's like $63 and a convection oven to boot... might be an oyster model? Check it out)... That is big enough to fit any store bought frozen pizza in, takes like 2 minutes to preheat, with convection on cooks any pizza in 12 minutes flat. Hadlock fucked around with this message at 11:15 on Apr 10, 2019 |
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Apr 10, 2019 11:11
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Hadlock posted:We did our wedding registry through Zola, they have a bunch of wine fridges and poo poo in their register, but for like 3% off the top, they will hold all your orders and just send you the cash, but still generate a list of what each person "bought" for you so you can write then a Really wish I could have retroactively done that.
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Apr 10, 2019 14:26
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Hadlock posted:Edit: can confirm, plug in toaster ovens are super rad, won one at a college raffle, used the poo poo out of it. I pretty much only know of toaster ovens because of these forums, they're just not a thing in the UK. I was referring to this!
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Apr 10, 2019 18:43
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Bollock Monkey posted:We've already booked our honeymoon and paid up for hotels and flights but have asked for something towards that. We're doing a once-in-a-lifetime style trip so any contribution will be great. We've lived together since 2012 so we don't need towels or a toaster. Though my partner does have his eye on a plug-in pizza oven... This is the route we're going as well. I set up a Simple Registry and added a bunch of honeymoon things and some charity items. It's my second time around so I don't think wedding Santa will fund the whole thing, but it'll help.
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Apr 10, 2019 19:57
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Mildly interesting story We had great success with Blue Nile for fiance's engagement and wedding rings. Unfortunately Blue Nile discontinued their 6mm 18k low dome men's ring. Bought one from James Allen instead. Mistake. 1. The ring on the website says "James Allen" on the inside. The ring that arrived says Benchmark 2. The 6mm ring ordered was 5.74mm I get that there are manufacturing tolerances and all that. But the 6mm tungsten rings we ordered from Amazon at about $10 each, made from a metal worth about $10 an ounce, were all 6.03, 6.09mm etc. Very close tolerances, less than 0.10mm This ring that arrived was more than .25mm short, and the material is closer to $1100/ounce. I'm guessing there's about $65-80 worth of gold missing from the ring. Total ring weight was 7.5g on the dot if anyone is curious. Generally I wouldn't care but dang guys, it's SOLID GOLD, come on. Also even the super cheap tungsten rings were 6.0mm. This one is closer to 5.5 than it is 6 Heading over to Tiffany's to compare
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Apr 30, 2019 23:19
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Tiffany's ring of the same dimensions and description looked and felt exactly like the Tungsten examples we'd been buying off Amazon for a couple of months. Felt closer to 10-12 grams. I just weighed my 5mm and 6mm Tungsten rings, the 5mm tungsten rings came in at 7.2 and 7.6g, which is about what my 7.5 gold ring came in at. The 6mm tungsten rings came in at 11.4 and 12.9 Probably just going to go with the Tiffany's at this point, James Allen got back to me and said this is within their manufacturing tolerances which seems crazy  My takeaways 1) don't buy men's wedding bands from James Allen, quality varies wildly, possibly poorly in your favor 2) James Allen outsources their men's wedding bands so why even order from them, go direct to the source 3) measure what your get to make sure you're getting what you paid for
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May 1, 2019 06:51
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So the missus and I finally hammered down our plan. We've been together for 7 years now and I proposed July 2017...and then promptly tore my rotator cuff and labrum and had to have a few centimeters of my clavicle shaved down. Working in a job that requires full shoulder motion, I was out of work for about a year while the compound injury healed and I went through some crazy rehab, all the while not working and living off savings + disability. So we put off our wedding and are finally pulling the trigger this October for a Halloween themed wedding which she's wanted since the beginning. I think the delay has been an absolute blessing in disguise, though. Since I proposed, we've gone to quite a few weddings including her brothers...which ended up being about $50k by the time it was said and done so her bridezilla sister in law could have "her dream day". The fine print? She literally cashed out every dime of her 401k in order to pay for half of it. The groom used the proceeds of a lawsuit that he hadn't withheld taxes on, so guess what couple had an amazing tax season a few weeks ago? We also went to a friends wedding that cost around 25k and they financed most of it on multiple credit cards. Time and again we've heard of our friends taking on debt to host a wedding...and while we had no intention of doing this, our position has only been solidified since. Originally, *she* wanted to have an elaborate ceremony and wanted something in the range of 15k after I started pricing it out...then the honeymoon. Being an avid traveler, she wanted a month long honeymoon (heh) on top of the wedding. I had to be the bad cop, but luckily these weddings put things in perspective. Her brother and his new wife? By the time the dust had settled, they ended up going to Hawaii but could only afford the Disney Aulani for 3 nights, staying in like a motel 6 or something for the other few. Realistically, they should have stayed in the motel 6 the entire time, because they couldn't afford any of this, but I'm almost certain his parents bit the bullet and paid for them to at least have it for a bit. SO, after hours and hours of discussion and planning, we've simplified and streamlined and finalized, and we've got a pretty sweet set up. We're doing a very small ceremony in Reno (~45 people will likely RSVP, 60 total invited) and we've secured a good room rate at a nice hotel that's close to all the action for our friends and family (realistic walking distance to the restaurant and the ceremony place). We're taking everyone that shows up out to a prefix dinner at a really nice restaurant and then doing the Reno Zombie Crawl later with all of our friends and family that want to go. Originally, the missus had wanted an elaborately themed wedding ceremony with all kinds of Halloween decorations- the zombie crawl gives her this and we don't even have to pay for it, aside from the bracelets for everyone that wants to go. All in all: Ceremony: $650 (1 hour with an altar and chair set up- my uncle wants to be the official which is pretty bad rear end because I didn't even know he did this until last Christmas when he told us) Dinner: $4200 ($75/head x 45 + tax and service charge) Bracelets for the ~25 that will actually go out on the crawl: $250 Suite: $450 Total: $5550 Hair and makeup are being covered by her MoH, but nothing too fancy that she doesn't already have. And there's no dress, we're keeping it super casual with me in a shirt and tie and her in a dress that she's already got but rarely wears. Friends and family just a collared shirt/nice jeans or slacks is all we're asking. We're not counting on any help from either family (though my parents have volunteered support and I think want to pay for the dinner) and her parents are asleep at the wheel and haven't offered a dime because they support her deadbeat sister and her deadbeat brother. We're also going to be asking for people to contribute to our honey fund instead of gifts, since we've basically got everything we need and don't really want/need presents. This is completely optional, but we do have a ton of generous friends and family, so I think there will be some donations for sure. The honeymoon is 3 weeks in Australia and NZ including a 2 week cruise through the Fjords and a bunch of other awesome locations. The total price for this with tax, R/T flights, and the cruise + hotel for 6 nights comes to $7.2k, which includes a few thousand in spending cash. Of note: on the 4 cruises we've taken together, I've paid for at a minimum half of them through winnings from Texas Holdem onboard the ship. As a semi-professional player, I'll dedicate a few nights during the at sea days to this and almost certainly show a significant profit (I paid for our week long Alaska cruise + expenses + $110 left over a few years back which was rad). Grand total: ~$12,750 and I'm thinking there's a good chance between my parents and gifts we might recoup roughly half of that if not more. We've budgeted for our wedding and honeymoon as if we're paying for it 100%, and we're going to come out of this having financed exactly zero $ of it. She is thrilled with the zombie crawl and honeymoon, I'm thrilled with the prospect of not making terrible financial decisions and taking a sick honeymoon over a back-breaking expensive wedding, meaning that our savings account for buying a house continues to grow, quickly. The brother/sister-in-law's 50k wedding was nice, sure. But they're financially hosed now, HARD. They're terrible with money to begin with, but the brother got a windfall of $200k from selling a condo his dad helped him to buy and now 4 after selling (they got married last summer, solid his condo in 2015) has literally nothing to show for it. New cars, tons of trips, paying off her debt, paying penalties from early withdrawl on a loving CD...they were going to put a down payment on a new condo to move in to together, but now they have nothing. And debt. Oh, and they idiotically registered for like 3 different everythings, so they got 3 different popcorn makers, 3 different toasters, etc. I kid you not, the fuckers have a STORAGE UNIT that they still pay ~$95 a month for that they have now filled about 75% of with wedding gifts. For a year. The friends are making $500 chunk monthly payments on their 25k wedding at something like 15% interest. Hurtful. The lesson and moral of the story here is don't be stupid with weddings. It's really easy to gently caress yourself. TheKevman fucked around with this message at 11:20 on May 2, 2019 |
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May 2, 2019 07:46
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Ring update: Tiffany's ring is 5.89mm wide, 10.0 grams 18k vs the James Allen which is 5.72 and 7.5g, so basically $102 worth of gold missing from the internet retailer I'm a little surprised that the ring was 0.11mm short, I was expecting sub 0.10 variance
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May 5, 2019 01:54
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This is a really helpful post and gives me some ideas! Thanks! Hadlock posted:Ring update: Tiffany's ring is 5.89mm wide, 10.0 grams 18k vs the James Allen which is 5.72 and 7.5g, so basically $102 worth of gold missing from the internet retailer Jesus, is there like a whole industry that's just buying jewelry and reselling it for slightly less than your competition (your suppliers) after shaving off some metallic matter from it for profit, and re-engraving it with your own company name instead (since you shaved off the old one)?
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May 5, 2019 07:02
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Hadlock posted:Ring update: Tiffany's ring is 5.89mm wide, 10.0 grams 18k vs the James Allen which is 5.72 and 7.5g, so basically $102 worth of gold missing from the internet retailer What ring sizes/shapes are you looking at? I'm curious what your prices are like VS what I can make/find. Not because I want to sell you anything, more for my own info! EDIT: Saw your other messages. James Allen (and many other online retailers are getting their bands cast and produced overseas. That margin of error is gigantic. I'm surprised Tiffany's has more than a 0.10 margin of error as well. Dumb Lowtax posted:Jesus, is there like a whole industry that's just buying jewelry and reselling it for slightly less than your competition (your suppliers) after shaving off some metallic matter from it for profit, and re-engraving it with your own company name instead (since you shaved off the old one)? There is not, it's likely just manufacturing differences. Claes Oldenburger fucked around with this message at 00:16 on May 7, 2019 |
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May 6, 2019 23:53
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So I proposed on March 23rd of this year. We've been together for three years. We're currently looking at a wedding date some time in August-October of 2020. We figured this was a nice amount of time, gives us time to save up to pay for it + the honeymoon, the place we're doing it looks like poo poo unless it's late summer-Fall (imo), and it gives us a LOT of time to figure out invites and all that other stuff. My fiancee is convinced she can do this without a wedding planner, which is partly why we're giving it so much time. But also it just works out that way anyway. Last week I found out my sister's engaged. Her and her fiance have been together for a little over a year and a half, I believe, and they're planning on getting married in April. There's a lot of reasons for this, but she graduates from nursing school in April and desperately wants to move out but I don't think she wants to live anywhere but with him and she's convinced that's not an option unless they're married for religious reasons (that's probably not the ONLY reason but it's hard for me not to see it like she's rushing) I'm trying REALLY hard to be happy and supportive for her but it just feels weird to me. It's partly because I live a fair distance away so I don't see them that often so I don't really have a handle on their relationship, any time I see them I feel like "oh hey this is like their fifth date, that's cool" when it's obviously not. Partly I think it's because I've been in a relationship for like 3x as long as she has and she's going to get married before I do, and that feels weird to me. Granted, I only have my own relationship as a barometer for how long you should be together before proposing feels right, and maybe they hit that point way before I did. idk it just feels weird that i've been in a relationship for a lot longer and got engaged first but she's going to get married before we do. this might not be exactly the right thread for this, but. how do i get over this feeling? i hate that i feel weird about it and a little resentful because it's not like she really did anything WRONG
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Jun 5, 2019 23:33
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There's a lot of women who since they were 7 years old knew that they would meet a man in college, he would propose in college and then they would get married within 6 months of graduating college, come hell or high water. Basically you finish college, move out of the house, get married and become an adult. This is also known as "getting your Mrs. degree" and is 110% normal. My cousin did this as well, she's still happily married (7 years later), has his dick in a vise and rules their relationship and she's super happy about it. Basically, telling her to cool her jets on getting married would be like telling her to give up on her manifest destiny of graduating college and getting married, because you think it's weird MRS degree used to be 85% of women up until about 1978, by the 1980s it was 50% of women and now it's probably closer to 35% but this is a very normal and established pattern and you're only going to make an enemy if you get between her and her absolute life goal. I would let it go. It's like if you wanted all your life to get in to Harvard as an English major doctorate program, and then your sister is like, "hey maybe you should work on your career and getting a stable income, rather than follow your dreams"
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Jun 6, 2019 04:21
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Ah gently caress me you’re right. Thanks for that.
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Jun 6, 2019 04:38
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Alternative story: I have a friend who did this (got married straight out of undergrad to a guy she'd dated a year or less) - welp they got divorced and now she's happy and fine and is no longer burdened by the expectation that she needs to get married, bc been there done that. Point being either way your sister will be okay in the long run (probably) - just do you imo, and congrats on the engorgement! In other news, we have basically everything planned for our late-Oct wedding coming up except I still need to figure out my ring and my costume. Torn between getting a tux and a suit, either way I'm having it made bespoke. But having all the vendors booked and dealt with and knowing its just details to sort out, with 130+ days to spare is a nice feeling. Really glad I'm marrying a lady that plans as incessantly as I do 
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Jun 6, 2019 18:16
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black.lion posted:Alternative story: I have a friend who did this (got married straight out of undergrad to a guy she'd dated a year or less) We were looking at what men's suits cost in SF and every one of them was $800 or more (I think I tried on a $3000 off the rack suit at one point) and the reason go go with one brand over another was fit... Very obvious that I would get a better fit from going bespoke. We flew from CA to Hong Kong for $450 and got a tux made for $700... Less than the average cost of a tux at the suit shop. Very happy with the result, this was my second time getting a bespoke suit from Sam's Tailor in HK. Airbnb and meals were another $100/day but it's a good vacation spot.
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Jun 6, 2019 18:47
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Hi wedding goons, wondering if you opted for professional albums from your photographer or took the DIY approach? All wedding photography is insanely expensive, but we are being quoted anywhere from $800-$1600 for albums as part of the package and I HAVE to think we could do it ourselves cheaper. Thoughts?
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Jun 7, 2019 21:30
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We're waiting on our photos to arrive but I'm pretty sure we're gonna do it ourselves. My wife is way too picky about this stuff. Already sent the wedding video back for edits three times (that I know of). All of our wedding gifts are tied up with Zola and we'll probably order our book through their preferred vendor so it's no cash out of pocket.
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Jun 7, 2019 21:51
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My wife had just had her wisdom teeth removed when we met with and signed the contract with the photographer and as a result we added a nice photo book with an acrylic cover to our package which was probably another $1500. The book is well put together and I'm happy with it, but I think if she hadn't been drugged up, we probably wouldn't have gotten it.
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Jun 7, 2019 22:07
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I spent a bunch of time designing our album as a first anniversary gift. It came out really well, but did make me appreciate the effort that goes into these kinds of things.
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Jun 8, 2019 01:21
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Hadlock posted:We're waiting on our photos to arrive but I'm pretty sure we're gonna do it ourselves. My wife is way too picky about this stuff. Already sent the wedding video back for edits three times (that I know of). All of our wedding gifts are tied up with Zola and we'll probably order our book through their preferred vendor so it's no cash out of pocket. This is an interesting thought as we will probably go with Zola too! Have you been happy with them?
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Jun 8, 2019 01:27
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We haven't been unhappy and it made printing invitations and thank you notes a snap. Invitations and save the date and bulk emailing was very straightforward and not a total ripoff and the quality was good You can technically use an Amazon wedding registry but they bury it deep and nobody will ever find it, so you're stuck with the Zola registry. Any cash value of anything on your registry that people buy for you, you can then repurpose/combine to buy something you actually want/need. We had a bunch of $99 items and then will probably put that together to buy an all clad 999.00 pot and pan set from Zola. Most people want to buy a $49-99 item so we just added a bunch of random $99 items and we'll spend that $3000 on probably six really nice things instead of 50 versions of cutsey salt and pepper shakers or whatever people spent $99 on It's not perfect but my wife has been very pleased with it, it's probably better than most other things out there Some people gave us straight cash and then we were able to take that and turn around and use that directly on the thank you notes which meant $0 out of pocket which was nice because we're basically broke until September 15 when everything is paid off Hadlock fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Jun 8, 2019 |
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Jun 8, 2019 01:45
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