NavanaSokarad posted:

im of the firm belief that the word "Skywalker" is ment for those that are gifted with the force. so in the end there will be a new generation of jedi that conquer the sith in the end.

lofi posted:

until the next evil empire / plucky rebellion.

Blistex posted:

Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker

<2 hour 10 minute mark of the film>

<Rey and Finn land on the forest moon of Endor>
<They walk towards the impact crater of the second Death Star>
<Vegetation is plentiful, but all of the larger trees have been snapped off at the base of the trunk>
<They crest a cliff and the ruins come into view>
<Rey (a call back to TFA) repels into a section of the Death Star II that used to be the throne room>
<She hears a menacing laugh echo through the ruined chamber, she grabs her laser-sword from her belt>
<Finn puts his hand on her shoulder and raises his blaster, they nod at each other knowingly>
<They spring around a corner, blaster drawn and laser-sword buzzing>
<The Emperor is there, fur-deep in an Ewok. . . it's Wicket!>
<Rey and Finn stand there mouths agape, speechless>
<The Emperor (startled and still in the throws of passion) falls backwards and promptly shoots lightening-clad ropes of jizz into the air>
<Wicket removes his ball-gag, looks directly at the camera and says, "Yub-Nub>

<end credits roll>

No matter what any of you say, or what eventually gets put to film, this is cannon.

Blistex posted:

Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker

<2 hour 10 minute mark of the film>

<Rey and Finn land on the forest moon of Endor>
<They walk towards the impact crater of the second Death Star>
<Vegetation is plentiful, but all of the larger trees have been snapped off at the base of the trunk>
<They crest a cliff and the ruins come into view>
<Rey (a call back to TFA) repels into a section of the Death Star II that used to be the throne room>
<She hears a menacing laugh echo through the ruined chamber, she grabs her laser-sword from her belt>
<Finn puts his hand on her shoulder and raises his blaster, they nod at each other knowingly>
<They spring around a corner, blaster drawn and laser-sword buzzing>
<The Emperor is there, fur-deep in an Ewok. . . it's Wicket!>
<Rey and Finn stand there mouths agape, speechless>
<The Emperor (startled and still in the throws of passion) falls backwards and promptly shoots lightening-clad ropes of jizz into the air>
<Wicket removes his ball-gag, looks directly at the camera and says, "Yub-Nub>

<end credits roll>

No matter what any of you say, or what eventually gets put to film, this is cannon.

mystery at hog island posted:

gently caress they really do have a hard time getting away from that trope

Gutcruncher posted:

I still can’t believe that the first order went from a small army to The Government That Always Ran Everything in the 10 minutes or so between films.

Bogus Adventure posted:

Say what you will about the Fast Order, they work fast

sebmojo posted:

Big Beef City posted:

OTHER THAN "lol star wars"...again.

Was there any real reason at all that they didn't just say in a text crawl or have a throwaway character take 2 seconds to say:

"After the death of Palpatine, the EMPIRE was greatly weakened, but now SNOKE has assumed the role of Emperor/Chancellor, and the EMPIRE continues its struggle to retake lost ground from the victorious REBELS"

There was zero need for it at all, it'd have been less confusing, and taken less time to just say that and have people go "Ok, old guys dead, new guy took over, and they're mad." Rather than have to mumble through "Well the Jedi beat the Empire and they ran things ok for a couple years but then a fascist group rose REALLY quickly to power and they look like the Empire and they appear to be using most of the Empire's stuff, but it's revamped new stuff they built somehow in that time, and they act the same as the Empire, but it's different guys even though they technically aren't, mostly." Like what was gained from that, did people really need a clean break from Vader and Palpatine to move on to "New totally different Empire that acts just like the old one" to 'get' it when they tested this with people or what?

Big Beef City posted:

OTHER THAN "lol star wars"...again.

Was there any real reason at all that they didn't just say in a text crawl or have a throwaway character take 2 seconds to say:

"After the death of Palpatine, the EMPIRE was greatly weakened, but now SNOKE has assumed the role of Emperor/Chancellor, and the EMPIRE continues its struggle to retake lost ground from the victorious REBELS"

There was zero need for it at all, it'd have been less confusing, and taken less time to just say that and have people go "Ok, old guys dead, new guy took over, and they're mad." Rather than have to mumble through "Well the Jedi beat the Empire and they ran things ok for a couple years but then a fascist group rose REALLY quickly to power and they look like the Empire and they appear to be using most of the Empire's stuff, but it's revamped new stuff they built somehow in that time, and they act the same as the Empire, but it's different guys even though they technically aren't, mostly." Like what was gained from that, did people really need a clean break from Vader and Palpatine to move on to "New totally different Empire that acts just like the old one" to 'get' it when they tested this with people or what?

Blistex posted:

Thinking back to right after watching TFA, one of the things that bothered me the most (besides the completely unoriginal story) was the total confusion at where the galaxy stood power wise. During the movie I was thinking, "Ok, the First Order is small splinter group that has a few powerful ships, but I guess the Rebels and the New-New-Republic could easily defeat them." Then Finn give his, "we have to run, go to the outer rim, maybe we'll have a chance!" Then I assumed that they were much larger/more powerful than the first half of the film hinted at. Then TLJ came around and it seemed to indicate that "no, they're much smaller than that, they have a dozen or so ships, and a massive star destroyer. . . ok not any more. The rebellion is now 15 people and a ship, and the first order is half a super star destroyer and 3-4 regular ones. . . but apparently that's enough to rule the entire galaxy if the ROS leaks are to be believed? Every capital ship that was not in the hands of the rebellion or the First Order must have been destroyed between ROTJ and TFA.

I can't think of another movie, show, or even book that is this poo poo at giving the viewer/reader some idea of where the protagonists and antagonists stand power wise.

Blistex posted:

Then TLJ came around and it seemed to indicate that "no, they're much smaller than that, they have a dozen or so ships, and a massive star destroyer. . . ok not any more. The rebellion is now 15 people and a ship, and the first order is half a super star destroyer and 3-4 regular ones. . . but apparently that's enough to rule the entire galaxy if the ROS leaks are to be believed?

Chomp8645 posted:

Why are leaks from ROS necessary to confirm this? It's pretty self-evident within TLJ. The entire war is literally on-screen during the chase. The entire galactic conflict is about 10 warships and whatever small craft and soliders can be stuffed inside them.

Chomp8645 posted:

It's pretty poo poo world building and it's poorly communicated.

lofi posted:

RoS plot: Turns out, the entire 'rebellion' was a plucky-good-guy-fantasy designed by the droids to keep meat-bag brains amused while they use them as batteries.

Bistromatic posted:

The heroes make a daring escape from that soul powered factory planet and fly off into the sunset. There's a glitch effect and the camera cuts to C3P0 hooking their bodies into matrix pods.

Blistex posted:

Thinking back to right after watching TFA, one of the things that bothered me the most (besides the completely unoriginal story) was the total confusion at where the galaxy stood power wise. During the movie I was thinking, "Ok, the First Order is small splinter group that has a few powerful ships, but I guess the Rebels and the New-New-Republic could easily defeat them." Then Finn give his, "we have to run, go to the outer rim, maybe we'll have a chance!" Then I assumed that they were much larger/more powerful than the first half of the film hinted at. Then TLJ came around and it seemed to indicate that "no, they're much smaller than that, they have a dozen or so ships, and a massive star destroyer. . . ok not any more. The rebellion is now 15 people and a ship, and the first order is half a super star destroyer and 3-4 regular ones. . . but apparently that's enough to rule the entire galaxy if the ROS leaks are to be believed? Every capital ship that was not in the hands of the rebellion or the First Order must have been destroyed between ROTJ and TFA.

I can't think of another movie, show, or even book that is this poo poo at giving the viewer/reader some idea of where the protagonists and antagonists stand power wise.

Colonel Cancer posted:

And the star trek movies weren't that bad compared to TLJ.

McCloud posted:

Can't blame TLJ on Abrams tho

skasion posted:

The Rey/Luke/Kylo half of TLJ still sucks. It has something going on, which definitely makes it better than the other half; but what it has going on is stupid. It’s a story about a callow youth who opposes a dark wizard and who seeks out a wise master to teach her the way, but it turns out she has something to teach the wise master, the true way was inside her all along. Armed with this, the wise master clowns on the dark wizard and then dies. It’s a non-plot. It deliberately mirrors the plot structure of ESB, but its conclusion is basically like if ESB ended with Yoda teleporting to Bespin, yoinking Luke out of all moral and physical danger in the nick of time, and then winking at the audience while telling Darth Vader to smoke his pole. The two characters who the story should be about — Kylo and Rey — don’t actually undergo any development. They tread water for two hours and end up exactly where they began the movie, only now she has seen his pecs. Their story (the thing these movies structured around) gets subordinated to the not-particularly-interesting story of how Luke beat his midlife crisis.

skasion posted:

The Rey/Luke/Kylo half of TLJ still sucks. It has something going on, which definitely makes it better than the other half; but what it has going on is stupid. It’s a story about a callow youth who opposes a dark wizard and who seeks out a wise master to teach her the way, but it turns out she has something to teach the wise master, the true way was inside her all along. Armed with this, the wise master clowns on the dark wizard and then dies. It’s a non-plot. It deliberately mirrors the plot structure of ESB, but its conclusion is basically like if ESB ended with Yoda teleporting to Bespin, yoinking Luke out of all moral and physical danger in the nick of time, and then winking at the audience while telling Darth Vader to smoke his pole. The two characters who the story should be about — Kylo and Rey — don’t actually undergo any development. They tread water for two hours and end up exactly where they began the movie, only now she has seen his pecs. Their story (the thing these movies structured around) gets subordinated to the not-particularly-interesting story of how Luke beat his midlife crisis.

Bistromatic posted:

The heroes make a daring escape from that soul powered factory planet and fly off into the sunset. There's a glitch effect and the camera cuts to C3P0 hooking their bodies into matrix pods.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Casino was the best and most star-warsy part! It just didn't fit into the plot.

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

I really liked the part when the droids beat Joe Pesci to death in a cornfield