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Do not use the pullout method, you morons. Nobody uses it perfectly and it's barely better than not pulling out and praying.
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Jun 23, 2019 15:48
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For real, just get an IUD/take bc/get vasectomized/be prepared to deal with a pregnancy.
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Jun 23, 2019 15:51
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KillHour posted:Do not use the pullout method, you morons. Nobody uses it perfectly and it's barely better than not pulling out and praying.  Saying, "actually it's basically the same as a condom!" is being disingenuous as gently caress, imo. There's a bajillion contraceptives out there, c'mon.
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Jun 23, 2019 16:00
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Johnny Truant posted:
And they all suck. Call me back when there is a male pharmaceutical bc method. E: seriously want a man pill Sextro fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Jun 23, 2019 |
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Jun 23, 2019 17:06
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BirdOfPlay posted:
All of the other advice was super duper important and solid but here is some other tips. I have only really started taking things seriously and taking classes for the past two years so it is mostly basic stuff. 1) Never hit someone when you don't have your eyes on them. It can be tempting in public play areas to see what is happening or who is watching you. That is okay just don't be doing that mid swing. 2) The body does take some time to process pain. Usually that is the sharp inhale or the steady breathing. If you a looking for a longer more sensual play you want to do the pain in a good rhythm with breathing. Course a lot of quick painful hits to push your partner to their limit every now and then is fun too. 3) Also try out the products on yourself or have someone skilled test them out on you before you start hitting other people. You should know just how much pain you are inflicting on someone before you actually do it. Be purposeful with your actions. Try not to cause a lot more pain than you meant. 4) Whips and canes HURT like crazy. Even very gentle looking hits are more than most people can handle. The crack of a whip is it breaking the sound barrier. And canes can break bone. Floggers and rising crops are much more newbie friendly. 5) Floggers are pretty similar to the mechanics of a flail. The energy you put into the swing doesn't just stop after the hit. You want to keep the swing going into a good rhythm for another hit or slow it down away from your partner. Also take some practice hits just slightly out of range of your partners body to warm up. Your much more likely to hit your actual targets and it does add to the play. Even 30+ year masters still take practice swings. 6) For riding crops/canes I like to put my hand on my partner's body where I don't what them to be hit. Stuff like the hip bone or upper butt. It makes it feel more sensual and keeps your partner safer. 7) Communication as always is key. Communication is another fun tool that adds to play and keeps your partner safe. Stuff like "Time for some warm up hits", "Now I'm going harder", "Just ten more hits", and "This last one is going to be hard" can let your partner know what to expect and get them in a good head space.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:20
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Philonius posted:Actually, if done correctly, the pull out method is 96% effective in preventing pregnancy. This compares to 98% for condoms, so as long as long as you have perfect form, you're fine. Good luck though. And obviously, not effective at preventing STDs. quote:But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that’s about 1 in 5.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:21
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Sextro posted:And they all suck. Call me back when there is a male pharmaceutical bc method. It's moving into open trials right now.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:34
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Everyone who has told me they use the pull out method got pregnant. They all admited they said gently caress it after a few months and just stop pulling out. I feel like the pulling out method is like saying you will get gas before work. Yeah it could work but let's be honest you are just doing self sabotage.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:50
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Jedit posted:It's moving into open trials right now. That's legitimately exciting. My fiance can't stand the side effects from any of the pills she's tried, is uncomfortable with the ideas of implants. And I'm allergic to latex and the only non-latex condoms I've found comfortable enough to reliably enjoy sex with are the ludicrously expensive lambskin ones. Another option is very welcome.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:59
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Skyn is non-latex and has great reviews
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Jun 23, 2019 18:03
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:Skyn is non-latex and has great reviews I tried every variety they make, couldn't feel enough stimulation/body temperature through them except the ultras which are difficult to get on due to tightness.
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Jun 23, 2019 18:07
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Shwqa posted:good advice I should also add (although you should already know this) that human genitals are way delicate and it really doesn’t take a lot of trauma to seriously hurt somebody or really mess them up. Don’t semi-absentmindedly whack your partner in the crotch with an implement, until you’ve had a loooot of serious practice and work. Even if they ask you to. Even if you’ve seen it in porn. You can always play more aggressively next time but it’s really hard to come back from sending your partner to the ER because you accidentally split their bits open with a careless whip hand or tore their nipple by pulling off clamps badly or whatnot. Same thing goes for “torture” play. For example, it only takes 5lbs of force to tear a human ballsack (  this fact occasionally turns up in legal documents for reasons). Be mindful of physical limits and don’t get careless because you’re horny or tired or high or distracted in some other capacity.Remember that the brain is the most important erogenous zone and that 90+% of bdsm is kayfabe and performance and maybe 10% is actually in the physical contact.
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Jun 23, 2019 19:43
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Sextro posted:I tried every variety they make, couldn't feel enough stimulation/body temperature through them except the ultras which are difficult to get on due to tightness.
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Jun 23, 2019 20:38
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Anne Whateley posted:Did you try putting a smidge of lube inside the condom first? It's supposed to make a big difference Yeah. I've been struggling with this condom issue for 9 months since my SO decided to go off the pill. I've tried a lot of things.
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Jun 23, 2019 20:56
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My recommendation is anal.
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Jun 23, 2019 21:06
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Shwqa posted:My recommendation is anal. ^^^thats where we've fallen on the issue too, helps keep the costs reasonable.
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Jun 23, 2019 21:21
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Sextro posted:That's legitimately exciting. My fiance can't stand the side effects from any of the pills she's tried, is uncomfortable with the ideas of implants. And I'm allergic to latex and the only non-latex condoms I've found comfortable enough to reliably enjoy sex with are the ludicrously expensive lambskin ones. Another option is very welcome. Sagami 0.01s. They're not cheap, but they're non-latex, ultra thin and very reliable.
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Jun 23, 2019 22:08
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Jedit posted:Sagami 0.01s. They're not cheap, but they're non-latex, ultra thin and very reliable. They're a struggle to roll all the way on. Too tight/not stretchy enough.
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Jun 23, 2019 22:13
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Shwqa posted:My recommendation is anal. Enjoy your butt baby
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Jun 23, 2019 22:31
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Interested in butt plugs. For two people who've never used them, how do you even get it in with the least amount of discomfort? I think it'd be really hot for her to use and she's keen on the idea, but I'd rather push it off until I'm 100% sure it's gonna be a really nice experience for her, instead of both of us fumbling around figuring it out and causing her some discomfort. Also, prep beforehand etc. what do you all recommend?
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Jun 24, 2019 14:18
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I recommend you wear the butt plug, you're the one with the prostate after all
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Jun 24, 2019 14:22
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Maybe one day, but we read online that it can make orgasms feel more intense, and can make penetrative sex feel better for her cause it gives me something to push against inside or something? Either way, anal is on our to-do list, and I feel like a butt plug is the perfect gateway into this.
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Jun 24, 2019 14:46
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Get one each. Plenty of lube, take it slow, start with a finger or something else smaller than the plug and "warm up" the butt hole before actually inserting anything. And, as ever, communication.
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Jun 24, 2019 14:59
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Qubee posted:Interested in butt plugs. For two people who've never used them, how do you even get it in with the least amount of discomfort? I think it'd be really hot for her to use and she's keen on the idea, but I'd rather push it off until I'm 100% sure it's gonna be a really nice experience for her, instead of both of us fumbling around figuring it out and causing her some discomfort. Also, prep beforehand etc. what do you all recommend? Use them for masturbation first. It's going to be a lot less awkward if she gets used to it without the extra variable of a partner. As for the practical preparation, take a small enema beforehand and use a lot of lube. No, really, a LOT of lube.
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Jun 24, 2019 16:27
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sebzilla posted:Get one each. I know it's silly but I feel weird using one. Think it's part childhood, part cultural, but it just feels like something I can't do at the moment. But maybe down the line it'll be something I open up to. Thanks for the advice on use though. hoobajoo posted:Use them for masturbation first. It's going to be a lot less awkward if she gets used to it without the extra variable of a partner. As for the practical preparation, take a small enema beforehand and use a lot of lube. No, really, a LOT of lube. Masturbation first is a good shout. Do you get stuff for an enema or can you do stuff yourself at home? I don't know if using the bathroom beforehand is adequate preparation. I'm not easily grossed out, and expect some bodily fluids (pieces?) are gonna be part of the territory, but she is 100% not okay with there being anything nasty as a result of doing this. Using a bidet / water hose does wonders for cleaning yourself out, but we're not in the ME, we're in the EU and those aren't commonplace.
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Jun 24, 2019 18:51
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Qubee posted:Masturbation first is a good shout. Do you get stuff for an enema or can you do stuff yourself at home? I don't know if using the bathroom beforehand is adequate preparation. I'm not easily grossed out, and expect some bodily fluids (pieces?) are gonna be part of the territory, but she is 100% not okay with there being anything nasty as a result of doing this. Using a bidet / water hose does wonders for cleaning yourself out, but we're not in the ME, we're in the EU and those aren't commonplace. I use a simple enema bulb and warm tap water, and wash myself out a couple times or until I'm satisfied. You don't need to do this necessarily but I prefer a little more cleanliness and peace of mind. Anyway, that's all you need to do for basic anal prep. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Jun 24, 2019 |
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Jun 24, 2019 23:12
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YMMV obviously, but in my experience with normal size plugs as long as you've recently had a bowel movement enemas aren't necessary.
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Jun 25, 2019 03:05
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Qubee posted:but she is 100% not okay with there being anything nasty as a result of doing this. If you knock on poo's door, you gotta be prepared that poo might answer. The Anal Sex Safety Snails are great teachers.
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Jun 25, 2019 17:27
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Forgot to pop in and say thanks to all for the advice. I feel a bit better about the next time we do this, especially because this isn't exactly something I've looked into doing but know that she likes her kink a fair bit.Shwqa posted:All of the other advice was super duper important and solid but here is some other tips. I have only really started taking things seriously and taking classes for the past two years so it is mostly basic stuff. Well, that's certainly not a concern why would we ever be out in public? *checks notes, sees EXHIBITIONIST circled and triple underlined* God damnit quote:5) Floggers are pretty similar to the mechanics of a flail. The energy you put into the swing doesn't just stop after the hit. You want to keep the swing going into a good rhythm for another hit or slow it down away from your partner. Also take some practice hits just slightly out of range of your partners body to warm up. Your much more likely to hit your actual targets and it does add to the play. Even 30+ year masters still take practice swings. Yeah, I've only using my hands and the floggers that she's made. It took until the second round for me to get used to her floggers, so warming up sounds about right. quote:7) Communication as always is key. Communication is another fun tool that adds to play and keeps your partner safe. Stuff like "Time for some warm up hits", "Now I'm going harder", "Just ten more hits", and "This last one is going to be hard" can let your partner know what to expect and get them in a good head space. This was something I was having a lot of problems with. I just couldn't wrap my head around how to sound "controlling" while, you know, not being in control. Electric Bugaloo posted:~more good advice~ Yeah, I get that. The two things that need to be improved from last time was: too much checking in and no marks. Both of those I can work on for next time, but the later is probably something we should both work out as well.
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Jun 25, 2019 21:05
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BirdOfPlay posted:Forgot to pop in and say thanks to all for the advice. I feel a bit better about the next time we do this, especially because this isn't exactly something I've looked into doing but know that she likes her kink a fair bit. Not actual public! Sex club or play party public only, please!
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Jun 26, 2019 04:54
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AlbieQuirky posted:Not actual public! Sex club or play party public only, please! 110%. It is not cool to drag the unsuspecting public into your sex scenes. Do it someplace where the audience, while maybe not expecting it, is explicitly in a place where they're okay with wandering into it.
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Jun 26, 2019 05:14
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AlbieQuirky posted:Not actual public! Sex club or play party public only, please! Yeah that what I meant as well. It is a lot cheaper to go to a sex club to tie your partner to a giant wooden X than it is to buy/make your own.
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Jun 26, 2019 05:18
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Shwqa posted:Yeah that what I meant as well. It is a lot cheaper to go to a sex club to tie your partner to a giant wooden X than it is to buy/make your own. Or just keep an eye out on craigslist?
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Jun 26, 2019 11:15
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black.lion posted:Or just keep an eye out on craigslist? Stay the gently caress off of craigslist. If you want to set up play parties/kink parties, or find an audience for whatever, or try swinging, or find local clubs/venues/groups, etc, I’d join Quiver and Fetlife. I dunno about how other (non-shady) kink social networks compare.
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Jun 26, 2019 21:45
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Electric Bugaloo posted:Stay the gently caress off of craigslist. If you want to set up play parties/kink parties, or find an audience for whatever, or try swinging, or find local clubs/venues/groups, etc, I’d join Quiver and Fetlife. I dunno about how other (non-shady) kink social networks compare. I think they just meant like, people selling their used or homemade big wooden bondage X
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Jun 26, 2019 21:48
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purple death ray posted:I think they just meant like, people selling their used or homemade big wooden bondage X I wouldn’t buy one of those on Craigslist. Edit: there’s actually some goon who frequents the Interior Design Thread who makes furniture and apparently has a bit of a background making bondage stuff. Apparently invented something called a “fiend hole”, but I don’t think he ever explained what it was.... 🤷🏻♂️ trilobite terror fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Jun 26, 2019 |
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Jun 26, 2019 21:57
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Yea i meant buy your sex rack on craigslist, obviously
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Jun 27, 2019 01:36
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Electric Bugaloo posted:I wouldn’t buy one of those on Craigslist. SPOILER WARNING: "fiend hole" was a phrase he made up
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Jun 27, 2019 11:36
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Antivehicular posted:SPOILER WARNING: "fiend hole" was a phrase he made up I know, I was joking. But it was fun to press him on what he thought a fiend hole might be.
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Jun 27, 2019 14:39
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The opposite of a glory hole. What exactly that means I don't know
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Jun 27, 2019 14:46
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