teardrop posted:

She’s not going alone. It’s generous to offer half the price of her ticket, but she said money isn’t the point and it’s not like the rest of her group will cancel. As far as we know this is a once in a lifetime family reunion for them, and asking a girlfriend to skip it to comfort him for someone she didn’t know is asking to put his family before hers.

My family had a reunion of 20 in Mexico once and I really doubt we will be able to do something like that ever again and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. Having had that experience, if my wife ever took a family trip, I would never ask her to cancel it for my relative’s funeral. I’m with the rear end in a top hat.

quote:

I have been with my girlfriend (I'll call her A) for one year now. 6 months before we met, she got out of a pretty toxic relationship. Shortly after we got together that ex started bothering A and after some time A blocked them on all social media, except tumblr.

​

Now, A and I love each other immensely. We respect and care for one another and it really shows every day. We both often agree and talk about how we've never loved anyone more and how this is what we want for the rest of our lives. So you get the picture. I'm never worried about her cheating or talking to someone else, or for example getting back in touch with an ex.

​

However last night, we had one of our deep meaningful talks and A mentioned that she doesn't know what she did to deserve me. It's not the first time she said this but this time she elaborated a bit. A talked about how she wasn't a good girlfriend in her past relationships. She mentioned feeling guilty about her last relationship and almost wanting to send a message apologizing. The focus wasn't on the guilt because of the ex as a person, A said she would apologize to all her previous partners because now she understands what it means to truly love someone, because of me. The reason for the guilt is that A only now understands what those girls went through because they loved A, and A didn't love any of them as much.

​

Of course what my brain got out of that is that A even THOUGHT about sending a message APOLOGIZING to an EX. What's more, her LAST ex, the only ex that truly bothers me. I keep telling myself it's a good thing that A is so open with me and that talking about it easily means A doesn't care about that person anymore. What reminded her of the ex and their feelings was tumblr posts on the ex's profile that clearly indicate they were hurt by their last relationship. While we're on the subject, after I got slightly frustrated over their 'contact' on tumblr once, A did say she was going to unfollow the ex on that website because she doesn't want it to bother me.

​

But I am SO FURIOUS. And to make matters worse, the feeling only caught up to me after I went home. I think I am blowing it out of proportion and ignoring all the good things A said, but I can't control it. I don't even know WHAT I want to ask. Was she SERIOUSLY thinking about contacting this toxic person to apologize? Was the ex even toxic if there is reason to feel guilty? Does this mean A thinks about what that person might be feeling or is it just because of a few posts that she saw on tumblr? Does this mean she doesn't love me and is actually still thinking about the ex, even after a whole year and crazy strong feelings? Should I feel threatened? I don't want to ask these things over text. What do I do?

​

TL;DR : Girlfriend mentioned feeling guilty about past relationships and it made me confused about her feelings.

Beachcomber posted:

I would like more examples because this alone isn't enough to declare ta.

MarcusSA posted:

We really don’t need more examples. She / he is a huge rear end in a top hat and even acknowledges it.

Can’t even be bothered to spend the day with her / his child on his birthday lol

MarcusSA posted:

We really don’t need more examples. She / he is a huge rear end in a top hat and even acknowledges it.

Can’t even be bothered to spend the day with her / his child on his birthday lol

Beachcomber posted:

Three hours doesn't really constitute a day.

I Was The Fury posted:

My girlfriend (22F) said some things concerning her past relationships and it made me (20F) angry and confused.

teardrop posted:

She’s not going alone. It’s generous to offer half the price of her ticket, but she said money isn’t the point and it’s not like the rest of her group will cancel. As far as we know this is a once in a lifetime family reunion for them, and asking a girlfriend to skip it to comfort him for someone she didn’t know is asking to put his family before hers.

My family had a reunion of 20 in Mexico once and I really doubt we will be able to do something like that ever again and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. Having had that experience, if my wife ever took a family trip, I would never ask her to cancel it for my relative’s funeral. I’m with the rear end in a top hat.

Pinecone Sample posted:

I found him in the bathroom naked on the floor crying and pulling his eyebrow hair out

Beachcomber posted:

Three hours doesn't really constitute a day.

MarcusSA posted:

That’s quite observant!

Ok can’t be bothered to spend the whole drat day with the kid.

Is that better?

Dazerbeams posted:

Oh your mom died? That sounds pretty rough. But listen, I gotta run. The girls and I have been dying to party and we haven't been able to coordinate our schedules for literal months. You understand, right babe? Kisses!

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

in the comments of the vacation vs funeral post, the op reveals they go on a trip like this every year, and further, it’s not like it’s the one family get-together. she sees her family every 3 weeks on average. she has no mitigating factors to her shittiness whatsoever

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For getting my handicapped neighbour's car towed?

Okay, please read the whole thing before judging me. And apologies in advance for any errors, English isn't my first language

About three or so months ago, new neighbours moved in. They looked fine, except they seemed a bit "spoiled". For example, when the moving truck came, Mrs. new neighbour was complaining about a parked car because it was near her driveway and may bother their movers while they got their stuff off the truck, so she was saying how she was going to complain about that car and report it as abandoned so it would get towed. Luckily that didn’t happen.

So anyway, apparently she suffers from some leg injury and she limps a little bit, enough to be considered as handicapped by the traffic laws. So a month after she moved in, I've noticed a street sign that said that the driveway between my house and hers was reserved for her car, and stated the plate number.

Here is the issue, my house is in a very commercial area, and it is hard enough already to find a parking spot, plus her house has a garage big enough to fit easily two cars, and then two more cars can fit on her driveway. We don’t have the same space, so before they moved I always parked in that place.

If that sign wasn’t annoying enough last week when I left my house, I saw her car, with the plates matching the street sign, parked on our side of the driveway, not on her reserved spot, while the spot was free, obviously. When I came back, I saw the car still parked on the same spot, but now on the reserved spot there was another car, I’ve recognized it because I've seen it before on several occasions, it was either her husband, who could have parked on their garage, or a guest, who could have easily parked on their driveway. So I reached the conclusion that she was abusing of this privilege given to her, using that spot as a guest-reserved parking spot.

So I snapped and called a towing truck to report an illegally parked car in a handicapped place, later that day, the car was towed.

AITA for getting her car or her guest's car towed?

Thanks for reading guys, I know this was long and I appreciate your time.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For getting my handicapped neighbour's car towed?

Vim Fuego posted:

Don't I feel emotions? Is sand between your toes an emotion? Because I'm feeling that...

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For getting my handicapped neighbour's car towed?

Okay, please read the whole thing before judging me. And apologies in advance for any errors, English isn't my first language

About three or so months ago, new neighbours moved in. They looked fine, except they seemed a bit "spoiled". For example, when the moving truck came, Mrs. new neighbour was complaining about a parked car because it was near her driveway and may bother their movers while they got their stuff off the truck, so she was saying how she was going to complain about that car and report it as abandoned so it would get towed. Luckily that didn’t happen.

So anyway, apparently she suffers from some leg injury and she limps a little bit, enough to be considered as handicapped by the traffic laws. So a month after she moved in, I've noticed a street sign that said that the driveway between my house and hers was reserved for her car, and stated the plate number.

Here is the issue, my house is in a very commercial area, and it is hard enough already to find a parking spot, plus her house has a garage big enough to fit easily two cars, and then two more cars can fit on her driveway. We don’t have the same space, so before they moved I always parked in that place.

If that sign wasn’t annoying enough last week when I left my house, I saw her car, with the plates matching the street sign, parked on our side of the driveway, not on her reserved spot, while the spot was free, obviously. When I came back, I saw the car still parked on the same spot, but now on the reserved spot there was another car, I’ve recognized it because I've seen it before on several occasions, it was either her husband, who could have parked on their garage, or a guest, who could have easily parked on their driveway. So I reached the conclusion that she was abusing of this privilege given to her, using that spot as a guest-reserved parking spot.

So I snapped and called a towing truck to report an illegally parked car in a handicapped place, later that day, the car was towed.

AITA for getting her car or her guest's car towed?

Thanks for reading guys, I know this was long and I appreciate your time.

quote:

This is my first relationship if that makes any difference.

To start this all off my boyfriend has been way too involved with another girl, his bestfriend's girlfriend. For weeks they were texting each other constantly. He'd compare everything about us and always make her out to be the better person. {Oh, you don't want sex tonight? BF'sGF never denies BF, Why can't you do your hair like BF'sGF?, You'll just never understand me like BF'sGF.} So understandably I told him to get his poo poo together or I wouldn't be a part of his life. He had a huge outburst (he goes into these weird psychotic rage meltdowns over tons of things). He said I was just being a jealous bitch and that BF'sGF wouldn't do something like this. So I walked out.

Fast forward a few weeks and he comes crying to me begging to hang out with me. I told him no but he said he was depressed and needed me around. Again I told him no, but he started crying and had another meltdown completely losing touch with reality. (He refuses to seek psychiatric help) I was afraid he was going to hurt himself so I was forced into going.

Once at his house he burst into tears crying that he'd done something wrong. He started off by saying that he and BF'sGF were attracted to each other and that he was sorry. He told me he knew how wrong it was to compare us and that he'd change. He wouldn't give me my keys until I said it was fine (his excuse being that he was too hysterical to give them to me). I left and tried to ignore everything but he played the same card a few days later and he once again burst into tears claiming that they were sexting for a while but that's all that it was. He claimed that it wasn't wrong though because I had 'walked out' on him and he considered that to be the end of the relationship without my knowing. But, now he wanted me back because he "realized his mistakes".

So moron me decides to ignore all of the bullshit until I realize that he's still loving texting her constantly. Anytime I ask him about it or to stop it he says I'm being jealous and insecure and should get over myself. But also, I make BF'sGF nervous so I should never talk to his BF or say anything about her. "She's just terrified of you, but she already told BF what she did and he was ok with it, but still don't ever bring it up". He always plays the You need to be more understanding of how delicate she is bullshit.

Fas tforward one more, I tell him not to take her with him to the stupid loving comic book convention two states away and he does it anyway. My boyfriend calls me up complaining that BF doesn't want BF'sGF to wear her slutty Starfire cosplay (literally just a purple string bikini and a wig)and asks for my advice. I told him I still didn't approve of them going together alone and he had a huge meltdown to which I just gave up and let him have his way.

At the end of the convention he was supposed to call me to make sure he didn't die in a car accident or some poo poo. He was due to be home by 5 am but didn't call me until nearly 2 pm the next day. The only reason he contacted me was because I'd called so many times and finally left a voicemail that I was coming over to check on him. He told me not to come over because he was busy resting.

The day after the convention, I went over to his house only to see dozens of picture of BFsGF in her "cosplay" in lewd poses and with suggestive props. I decide to just message BF about this to ask if he knew. BF freaks out at BF'sGF, who freaks out at my boyfriend, who freaks out at me. Later in the afternoon he demanded an apology from me for accusing him or anything. I decide to try to explain why he's being an idiot he sit in his car with him while he's having a meltdown. I reached into the center compartment to bring out the box of tissues that are normally in there and pull out a pair of realistic handcuffs complete with a set of keys. I asked him where those had come from and he had another huge meltdown saying that he'd had those longer than he'd known me. He kicked me out of his car and I had to walk home.

I don't know how the gently caress I let myself get to be this spineless piece of poo poo that just doesn't have the energy to deal with this. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself? Any time I say I want to leave him he says he's going to kill himself and has a huge meltdown. I'm so loving scared he's going to beat the poo poo out of me that I've basically become numb to all this garbage. I seriously don't know where to turn here. He keeps telling me if I tell anyone he'll kill them and then himself.

I don't know why I'm on reddit asking for this poo poo. I don't know how this happened. I realize I did it to myself but Jesus. Can someone just give me some advice on what I'm not seeing. Am I the crazy one? Is this somehow my fault? I know I had to have hosed up something to be like this.

tl;dr: I found a pair of handcuffs in my boyfriend's care and had a massive wake up call as to the situation I'm in.

chitoryu12 posted:

I[20F] found handcuffs in my boyfriend of 3 years's [30 M] car

chitoryu12 posted:

I[20F] found handcuffs in my boyfriend of 3 years's [30 M] car

Sagebrush posted:

Another one of those "yes, obviously....wait, nope" ones

Parking rage already turns normal people into assholes, but getting a shared driveway turned into a special spot for you and then leaving it open as a spare spot while parking in front of your neighbor's house...goddamn. I'd have trouble keeping myself from heading over there at 3am with a can of paint stripper

quote:

EDIT: I use the word driveway to describe the part on the street where anyone is allowed to park (including her own garage entrance) and when I am referring to "HER driveway" I am talking particularly about her garage entrance, where it would be okay for her, her family or her guests to park, but not for anyone else. Also I want to clarify that the sign is issued by the government and it is legit, thats a thing in my country.

I Was The Fury posted:

Yes but have you considered that maybe the poster was LYING in her original post and that her trip was actually to go on an archaeological dig where they would end up uncovering ancient darke magicke that would enable them to revive the dead mom in the prime of her life? Hmm?? Sounds to me like we can't know for sure that her boyfriend wasn't actively working against himself by wanting the support from his significant other to last longer than a couple of days!

Yawgmoth posted:

AITA for not wanting my gf to use sorcery of the blackest sort to bring my mother back from beyond the grave?

Help my reddit, I've read all sorts of stories where this sort of thing goes wrong, but my girlfriend assures me that the ancient tome she learned this unspeakable rite from was very detailed. I've also seen it moving out of the corner of my eye (but never when I look directly at it) and heard it whispering things just as I am drifting off to sleep. She says I'm just being paranoid and denying her the chance to "practice her craft".

goethe.cx posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

I[20F] found handcuffs in my boyfriend of 3 years's [30 M] car

Again I told him no, but he started crying and had another meltdown completely losing touch with reality. (He refuses to seek psychiatric help) I was afraid he was going to hurt himself so I was forced into going. 

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 9 months, we’re both 16, and first relationship. We lost our virginity to each other and like every high school relationship, we don’t work, but I absolutely can’t end it.

You may have seen other posts I had, which I have deleted, but I have used reddit a lot to complain. In summary, I have made myself crazy.

My boyfriend is

-a liar

* not a cheater but has talked to other girls lots, some girls have caught feelings for him even and I have told him to remove those girls for cry obvious reasons but sometimes they magically appear back in his contacts

i* pay for everything, he doesn’t have a job and i don’t doubt he would pay for things if he could afford it but he has become very aware i’ll pay for anything and uses that freely

* has broken up with me for a “reaction”

* calls me names and swears at me when we fight

* is jealous easily and very one sided, like i mentioned earlier he talks to a lot of girls but a guy said hi to me on the streets once and he got pissed, but is still able to talk his girls apparently

* hates all my friends

* has rear end in a top hat friends who i know talk bad about me, and he won’t stand up for me

* is lazy, never will meet my family or come over, I always have to go somewhere to see him

* doesn’t do well in school, skips a lot of class and doesn’t care

I can list reasons why I shouldn’t be with him, and it shouldn’t take a list for me to end it. I can make him look like a huge rear end in a top hat, and he can be but it’s hard because he also isn’t ALWAYS an rear end in a top hat either. He makes time for me, is very affectionate, and openly expressed how much he loves me and is never shy with compliments, and loves to show me off.

But I have made myself crazy for him, I turned into a psychotic girlfriend. He does something that upsets me and I make it into a “let’s find a solution so it won’t happen again.” We agree on a rule, but he never follows and has to be constantly reminded. But I still insist on more rules and become so paranoid about what’s he doing.

All my friends as well saw the toxicity of my current boyfriend before I did, and they all ended up distancing away. So unfortunately my rear end in a top hat boyfriend I have turned into my best friend, and we hang out all the time.

If we break up, I lose the only person I have and I know he isn’t good for me and I know he hurts me but I don’t understand why I can’t just do it. I know my friends will return if I do it too but I can’t. He has tried to break up with me before (he does it for a reaction when he’s super mad) but i’m always the one begging for him to stay, I always fix our fights, and I have ran to his house in the middle of the night to make up; something he would never do for me.

Why? Why is it so hard to break up with him? He is awful to me, not always but I know in the back of my head there’s someone better for me. But he is still the person I’ve told everything and I love so much. I just want to know how I can do it, how can I break up with him. He has gotten me so mad before I just shake uncontrollably and he gets upset when i’m upset. I’ve found out that he’s been talking to another girl and started crying and all he said to me was “if you’re just gonna cry on my floor can you do it at your house.”

TL;DR I know my boyfriend is awful for me, but no matter what I can’t break up with him. He is the only one I have and my best friend but he’s also too toxic for me, how can I simply end it and not back out of it?

quote:

I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, he’s my first serious relationship and it’s been pretty good but we have had some bumps. Sometimes these bumps are hard to figure out if they’re “big” or “small” since relationship stuff is still semi new to me. We are both 18.

The problem is when we fight he likes to call me names, swear, and he has such a bad habit of blame shifting. My main issue from this post is something that happened today.

I was on my way to my boyfriends house (I take a city bus to get around) and he sends me a message, he tells me “just so he can have more people on snap” he added all these girls he saw on someone’s story. He explains he “accidentally messaged all of them” when he meant to send something to his friends on snap and it happened cause they were in his recents and he wasn’t paying attention but that one girl in particular wouldn’t stop messaging him. This was super out of ordinary for him but I was just confused. He told me that he tried to ignore her messages, but she wouldn’t stop so he started replying since he felt bad. I told him if this was an issue to simply remove her, he wouldn’t have to ignore anything and he didn’t even know her. But he went on saying “he feels bad removing someone” but I said he doesn’t even know the girl. I was frustrated in general why he would tell me all this because i’m not sure what response he wanted from me? I asked him this exact question and he said “because you’re coming over and I don’t want you to think i’m cheating.”

I do believe him and what he said though, I know the snapchat he added all the girls on and I know it was posted that day. But from this I did react, I told him what he told me made me uncomfortable and that I did want her removed. I’m not sure if that’s too far cause I have no proof he was doing anything wrong and he is allowed to talk to other girls, but how he approached me about it did worry me. He got mad and said he was ignoring her messages and that my request was “crazy” and “psychotic” and then compared me to one of his friends ex girlfriends who has a bad reputation for being crazy. Instantly I was hurt, he was blaming me for having a reaction to such a weird thing to tell me, I told him I didn’t want to talk anymore over text and I will talk to him once i’m there. He tried to call me but I declined and said “We can talk in person” but he called me 4 more times afterwards, and texted me after saying “you’re acting childish” and i’m not sure what he meant but also said “and when it comes back to get you don’t come at me.”

On the bus I tried to hide my tears from everyone else, and when I got to his place I broke down in front of him and he apologized and told me he didn’t like seeing me cry and that she was removed and proved it. I even apologized and said I shouldn’t of gotten mad but he I didn’t like when he called me names, all he said was “I just commonly use words like psychotic and don’t think they’re hurtful when I say it.”

That same day I notice he got a message from another girl, probably one he also added. He noticed I saw the notification and tried to play it off. She messaged him “hey” and he just said “haha what does this even mean?” I told without looking up at him just to ignore it but I noticed later he did message back. I asked him why he replied and he instantly got defensive saying “I can’t do anything right, and I don’t know what I can or can’t do anymore.” I ignored what he said and a minute later he cuddled into me and said he loved me.

Near the end of this same night, we were discussing how someone wanted to make plans with us and we were waiting for a message back from him, I haven’t gotten a message and I asked my boyfriend if he had. He checked his phone and he did but there was another notification from yet ANOTHER girl, it seemed like he did not want to open it in front of me because he changed the subject and started acting super nice to me, almost like out of character nice until I left that night.

I’m not quite sure what to do from here. I know these girls are all new and he did add them all that day but I feel so uneasy about it and I know I have no reason to but it’s just so out of character for him. Is it worth mentioning again? and saying what? I just want to make sure i’m not being crazy because he can talk to girls but this just really throws me off.

TL;DR: boyfriend added girls on snapchat, and brought up to me. I got upset and he called me “crazy” but later these girls kept messaging him throughout the night.

quote:

This is my first real relationship, we’re both 17 and been together only 6 months but over that time we have become best friends. He can be caring, he compliments me all the time, makes time for me but he’s dishonest.

About a week ago we made plans to hangout after both of our plans (he had plans with friends, I had a family dinner) We arranged a time to meet at his house, but before i left i texted him I would be walking to his house (which is about a 25 min walk from my aunts house) It was raining that day and was dark but half way there I get a text that he couldn’t leave yet because one of friends still hasn’t shown up that he hasn’t seen in a while and promised to take the next bus. This was a lie, I saw on a picture uploaded earlier to snapchat that his friend was there but when I checked again after my boyfriend told me this is was just deleted. I called him and told him I saw the snapchat, and that if he wanted to change plans he should of done it before I was out in the dark and rain. He confessed he got too high to come home and felt that would anger me more so he lied.

Weed has definitely been a problem before, about a handful of times I have hung out with him after he has been with friends and he’s been high. I have no problem with him smoking but I have a problem when I can’t communicate with him properly because he’s too stoned.

I talked to him after and told him I’m not going to put up with lying and I confessed the weed thing has been bothering me. He swore to be truthful with me and he wouldn’t smoke with his friends if he knew he had plans with me later.

Only just yesterday, I figured out he lied again. A few days back he had an argument because he mentioned he randomly added all these girls on snapchat and one named Victoria wouldn’t leave him alone. I told him simply remove her then. I was confused why he was telling me this, I have no problem with him having girl friends but i’m not sure what reaction he wanted from me? He was persistent that he would not unadd her because he felt “awkward.” I told him that bringing that up to me makes me uncomfortable and that I have no problem with him having all the girls he just added on there although he knows none personally but if one won’t leave him alone after ignoring her I don’t feel comfortable with that. He called me “crazy” and “psychotic” but after we talked in person he said he’ll remove her and showed me he did.

But just yesterday, He logged into snapchat on my phone as his was dead but forgot to log out. I later went on snap and noticed all these messages from a girl named “Maya” It wasn’t my account so I didn’t want to open them but I noticed her account name was the same as the girl “Victoria” meaning my boyfriend added the girl back behind my back, and changed her name so I wouldn’t find out. I called him out on it and got super upset. I have never seen my boyfriend cry but he got emotional apologizing saying he messed up and that he shouldn’t of done it but he felt bad.

I’m just hurt he lied twice, and tried to be sneaky with me. All within such a short time span. I just want advice on what to do. Is he worth it to stay with? He apologized sincerely both times but I forgave him the first time but he lied again not even a week later.

TL;DR boyfriend lied to me twice within a week after swearing he would be truthful with me the first time. Is it worth trying to fix? Any advice?

quote:

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months, we’re both 17 and we have had overall a good relationship.

In the past 2 weeks we had some bumps, he lied to me twice, which was quite unlike him. Getting into the detail about what happened would be novel, just to sum it up one lie was about him getting too high with friends after we had plans so he lied that his friend he was visiting had yet to show up, instead of telling me the truth that he was too high to see me. The other about a girl he said was messaging him over again which he told he was trying to ignore her and I simply said remove her then, he said he did but I found out later he lied about removing her and ignoring and actually sent messages for days with her. The fact that he talked to a girl wasn’t the issue but if he wasn’t ignoring her why tell me that? He made it seem like the girl was harassing him.

None of it’s cheating or anything super major that I would end things with him, I was just disappointed he would lie to me twice, especially since I made it clear to him after the first lie I wanted us to be honest with each other. He told me he wanted that too but yet lied to me again less than a week later.

Yesterday though I was hanging out with him, I was doing some majorly late Christmas shopping for a male mutual friend of ours. In the stores he fell silent, I asked him if he was ok and he said he was but still wasn’t talking much. After some awkward silence he told me he was going home and stormed off. I was confused but didn’t chase him as I wanted to give him space as I knew something was bothering him. (Also from past fights, he’s someone who needs to cool off when upset, approaching him only makes it worse)

I messaged him after 30 minutes, I had a dentist appointment and work soon but I didn’t feel right going on with my day knowing something was up, especially if I did something to possibly hurt him. I asked him why things were awkward and he just responded “I wonder why” I asked him what he meant but a good chunk of time went by before he responded.

By the time he replied, I was at the dentist. He told me “you should find someone else, someone kind and normal” I was literally sitting in the dentist chair waiting for my appointment to start and he messaged me “I’m not myself anymore, I’ve changed and i’m ending my life.” This was not like him, not one bit. He had no past history of suicidal thoughts, or even depression. I was so scared I had to leave the dentist.

I called him right away and he was sobbing on his end. He told me all he’s been doing is hurting me, he’s lied to me, been rude to me, and the reason he stormed off today was because he was simply jealous I was buying gifts for another guy. He told me he couldn’t control his emotions but his existence was just hurting me. I started to sob, begging him to please not do anything.

I had work in an hour (right after dentist) but ran to his house which was thankfully nearby. He was safe, and after talking to him he calmed down. I told him I forgave him for his mistakes and that he needs to forgive himself. He told me afterwards he would be too scared to end his life but he really did scare me.

Today I noticed cuts on his arm, assumingely from the day before. He noticed I saw them and told me not to worry, but I can’t help it. I feel he’s cutting because of our relationship. He just scared me so much and someone who has had no history of depression just flipped. He’s back to normal but it still lingers in my mind. I want to bring it up to him again but i’m not sure what to say to him. The thought of all this scares me. I’m just scared it will happen again. He really worried me and at work I was scared he was going to hurt himself.

TL;DR after two major fights, boyfriend texts me he wants to end his life with no past history of depression. He’s back to normal but i’m scared it will happen again if we argue.

quote:

I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months with my boyfriend, he makes me happy but a lot of the time I feel sad too. We’re both 18 years old.

We have a lot of good times together, and of course we fight like any couple would but it’s seems to be often. Usually it’s nothing major, just some bickering as we’re both stubborn and can have a hard time acknowledging when we’re in the wrong. There has been some bigger fighters here and there but we have forgiven and forgot.

He does have some problems at home, his parents fight a lot and it has been taking a toll on him. His best friend is also very jealous of our relationship and feels at battle with me some times.

I have asked my boyfriend if he feels stressed about our fighting, as sometimes I feel responsible for his stress as he has broken down in front of me recently. He says no and that he needs me as he feels that i’m the only one who he can talk to about his parents.

In the end though, I feel selfish. Today we had plans to hangout at his house but he broke down saying he didn’t want to face his parents and wanted to go to his best friends instead. His best friend was with us (I’m not sure why he tagged along, but that’s why I feel at battle cause sometimes he’ll just invite himself.) My boyfriend knew I wasn’t super pleased he tagged along but I was just angry he now wanted to leave our plans to hangout with him, but I understood why he was doing it.

Why did I get so angry and so defensive? I started to cry and i’m not sure why. I sound so dramatic and it’s so out of character for me. I’m not sure if I was just frustrated his friend tagged along. I had lots of family visiting at my house so my boyfriend didn’t want to go there with me cause he didn’t want to talk to them and break down.

Just all our fighting lately has made me just sad over our relationship but I just feel selfish. My boyfriend has always been ranting to me but at this point it’s making me feel sad and angry but I feel selfish cause I have no reason to. Is there a reason i’m feeling this way? Of course there’s some bickering here and there but when I talked to my boyfriend in private and he asked what was wrong I didn’t know what was wrong, I was just crying. I seemed so dramatic and he got frustrated with me which just made me more upset. I’m not sure what’s upsetting me.

TL;DR My relationship is making me upset and i’m not so sure why. I feel selfish as he has family problems at home and I have no reason to feel upset about anything but yet I do.

quote:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year, in 2 weeks we have prom coming up and most of my friends already have a prom date. Of course I assume i’m going with my boyfriend, I already have a dress and he’s talked about us going together, but hasn’t done a “promposal” whenever he talks about going with me I always jokingly say “I mean I haven’t been asked yet though..” or something along those lines. A couple days ago when we talked about it and I said that, he quickly got confused and said “why would we not be going together?”

Am I wrong for “expecting” a promposal? Or even for him to ask me? He hasn’t asked me anything, just expects that we’re going since we’re dating. Should I just drop it at this point? As much as I really wanted to be surprised am I being selfish for just assuming he would?

TL;DR Is it selfish to expect a promposal? Especially since we’re already dating

quote:

Warning: Discussion about religion.

Hi everyone,

Some background: I grew up in a house where everyone is mostly agnostic. They regard religion as something other people do. As a child I grew up watching documentaries about the Big Bang and evolution. I had the same views for most of my life, before getting deeper into Christianity and realizing what it is about.

After moving away from home I meet some very religious people and they talked to me about God and about their religion. Slowly I started to believe as well. I started to go to church, listen to Christian music and try to have a Christian life. It's not always working but I am trying my best and, with God's help, one day I will make it.

My beliefs are quite simple - I believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and I believe that Jesus is the Son Of God and that He died for our sins so anyone who believes in Him is saved.

However, there is a problem: I never told my parents about any of these, because I am afraid of their reaction. I tried to give hints but ... let me just give some examples.

* I tried to tell my mother that I don't want to have sex again until marriage (I had sex in the past with someone) and she told me that bad things will happen to me if I don't have sex (mostly that I will end up in an unhappy marriage with someone that I will not be compatible with).

* Still on the same subject, I told her that I have some friends that are virgins and she called them derogatory names and said that they should hide this. For the record, I don't care about anyone's virginity, I just tried to test the waters a little.

* I told her that I have friends that are going to church and she said that we are too young to go to church.

Those were just a few, but there are many more.

It is very tiring to hide this from my parents. Even if I live away from them, we still talk a lot on the phone.

Also, by hiding my religion from them I sin, which is bad. I lie after I say that I slept even if I was at the church, I lie when I assure my mother that I do not have the same beliefs "as those very bad friends of mine" and so on. I can't go on like this anymore.

I just want to be able to say: yes, I go to church. Yes, I will not have sex again until marriage. Yes, I am a Christian.

So, what should I do? Should I just say it and be done with it?

TL;DR: Coming out as religious to family. Afraid of their reaction. How to do it?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For getting my handicapped neighbour's car towed?

Sagebrush posted:

Another one of those "yes, obviously....wait, nope" ones

Parking rage already turns normal people into assholes, but getting a shared driveway turned into a special spot for you and then leaving it open as a spare spot while parking in front of your neighbor's house...goddamn. I'd have trouble keeping myself from heading over there at 3am with a can of paint stripper

chitoryu12 posted:

Coming out as religious, [21F]

* I tried to tell my mother that I don't want to have sex again until marriage (I had sex in the past with someone) and she told me that bad things will happen to me if I don't have sex (mostly that I will end up in an unhappy marriage with someone that I will not be compatible with).


I'm hoping this isn't a troll post.

chitoryu12 posted:

Coming out as religious, [21F]


I'm hoping this isn't a troll post.