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Ghost Leviathan posted:Cosmetic surgery in general is a morally bankrupt field. i had a relatively large gap between my two front tooth for most of my teens and it consumed my thoughts every-time i was out in public and i felt awful and too self conscious of it and just had a perpetual closed lips and never smiling. i never went down the incel thing (partly because they weren't a thing at the time) but i was partly convinced it was why i was where i was at that point in my life. so i had some dental work to fill it in and then just felt like poo poo/depressed afterwards like i "sold out" and failed to just accept things--kinda hard to explain. then a few weeks i moved past that and am happier about it. it probably ultimately did not matter and was some form of dysmorphia making things seem way worse than it was, but i don't regret doing it. i'm not sure if i could have therapist-ed myself out of it instead, but the thought never crossed my mind then. i've never became obsessively convinced anything else was fundamentally broken and all-consuming at least incels are garbage people personality-wise and no amount of surgery is going to fix that, but if it does help people with body dysmorphia become a little happier, i don't really feel its for me to judge given our hosed up world, so i can understand where surgeons like that are coming from. i think the real morally bankrupt part is pushing people into doing poo poo they don't need to do like an auto repair shop.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:27
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i vomit kittens posted:AITA for not wanting to see a black therapist yes
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Jun 27, 2019 16:28
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Anne Whateley posted:Him: Hey friend, want to go to this concert? Him: Hey, want to go to this concert? This is a date Her: Yes, I'd love to go! This is as friends, though, just to be clear Him: I'll think about it. Her later: When are we going? Him: No thx, got somebody else who is into me, she doesn't even care about the band Her: But I like that band! Bottomline, he made it clear that he is looking for romance, not friends. She wasn't interested, he found somebody else.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:28
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Anne Whateley posted:If they were meeting as strangers from a dating site, then yeah, but they're already existing friends. It's not weird to be friends and do friend things if they...are friends He asked her out on a date and she rejected him for a date but offered to go platonically, which he turned down That is in no way weird and while it'd be fine for him to still take her, he did not want to do that, and it's fine for him to say no to a platonic outing with her Like, for your silly thing: Him: Hey, want to go on a date with me to this concert? Her: I'd love to go, but only as friends Him: Sorry, really only interested in a date right now See how reasonable and sensible everything is in the version that actually happened
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Jun 27, 2019 16:29
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Again, they weren't meeting as strangers, they were already friends. What a stupid way to ruin a friendship, imo.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:32
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i like nice words
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It was literally bolded by OP that he asked her to go as a date, jfc
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Jun 27, 2019 16:35
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Anne Whateley posted:Again, they weren't meeting as strangers, they were already friends. What a stupid way to ruin a friendship, imo. What's the alternative? Suck it up and pine forever? gently caress that, guy took his shot, didnt work out for him and he rolled with it.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:36
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Anne Whateley posted:Again, they weren't meeting as strangers, they were already friends. What a stupid way to ruin a friendship, imo. And again, you can ask your friends on a date and aren't obligated to still take them out if they reject you. It's insane to me that you don't get this. And if their friendship is ruined over this, that's 100% her fault. He'd be kind of lovely if he didn't have anyone else to go with and was just refusing to take her because she turned him down for a date, but she turned him down and he found someone else to go with.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:36
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i vomit kittens posted:AITA for not wanting to see a black therapist yes because your definatly racist. you may not be overtly racist but you are big time casually racist. but also no because you need to trust and like your therapist and you being racist against your current one wont let you do that. welcome to hell posted:Me (24M) and my wife (23F) are both virgins but I wish we could change that whats the lesbian version of a beard? because thats this guy. that or his wise is an ace. or she had trauma and wont talk about it. snergle fucked around with this message at 16:46 on Jun 27, 2019 |
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Jun 27, 2019 16:38
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Anne Whateley posted:Again, they weren't meeting as strangers, they were already friends. What a stupid way to ruin a friendship, imo. Staying "friends" with somebody that you're romantically interested in and the feeling isn't reciprocated is a pretty bad idea. She wasn't, he moved on. Smarter than what most people do.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:39
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The guy is free to decide who he wants to take with him to a concert for a date. I wouldn't do a concert as a first date, but this guy did. He won a raffle and took his chance. He did make it clear that he was looking for a date; his friend had no obligation to go on a romantic date and he had no obligation to take her. The douchy/tacky part comes from the whole "waiting for someone else to go with him and then declining the friend's offer to go to the concert platonically." He was hurt by the rejection, but never actually told the friend that she wasn't going until he found a new date. He didn't actually tell her no until after he asked his coworker. He said "he would think about it," which might be code for "no" but can you really blame her for thinking otherwise? On some level he was being tacky, but not wrong to want to take someone else on a date.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:41
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He isn't legally required to take her, of course, we all agree. He's perfectly free to behave the way he's behaving. It is still not nice or friendly to offer her a ticket on the condition that they have sex. Friends are supposed to be people that you like hanging out with and doing nice things for, like, you're supposed to enjoy them for who they are regardless of fuckhole access. kru posted:What's the alternative? Suck it up and pine forever?
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Jun 27, 2019 16:41
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Power Khan posted:Staying "friends" with somebody that you're romantically interested in and the feeling isn't reciprocated is a pretty bad idea. She wasn't, he moved on. Smarter than what most people do. I mean, not even that; I agree that that's a bad choice and you shouldn't do it, but going out on a date that you were rejected for but now have to make platonic is way beyond most people. Expecting someone to do it while they have another date set up is insane.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:41
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Anne Whateley posted:Him: Hey friend, want to go to this concert? Him: Hey friend, wanna go on a date with me to this concert? Her: I want to go to the concert, but I don't want to date you. Him: I am taking a date to this concert. If you don't want to date me, you aren't going to the concert. Anne Whateley posted:Again, they weren't meeting as strangers, they were already friends. What a stupid way to ruin a friendship, imo.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:42
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It's not going to ruin their friendship
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Jun 27, 2019 16:42
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Anne Whateley posted:He isn't legally required to take her, of course, we all agree. He's perfectly free to behave the way he's behaving. It is still not nice or friendly to offer her a ticket on the condition that they have sex. He didn't demand sex, he asked her out Do you believe all dates must end in sex or like what the gently caress is wrong with you quote:No, the non-goon option would be to accept it and move on, date the woman who's into him, and be friends with his friends. This is a thing that sane people can do That's literally what he did you crazy person
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Jun 27, 2019 16:43
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WIBTA if I reported a coworker to HR after a (rejected) date leaves me feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone?quote:Okay, relevant background. So I (30F) work at a nursing home and ask out a younger coworker (24F). Coworker says yes, we exchange numbers, talk on snapchat for a couple weeks. She makes up a few last minute excuses not to meet up after plans were made and eventually says she's not actually interested. No big deal. I delete her phone number, uninstall snapchat (I had otherwise never used it), and unfriend her from fb. She got mad about being unfriended from fb and said she wants to be friends. To avoid work issues, I readd her.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:44
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Anne Whateley posted:No, the non-goon option would be to accept it and move on, date the woman who's into him, and be friends with his friends. This is a thing that sane people can do That's exactly what happened, just incase you need a primer or something???
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Jun 27, 2019 16:44
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Anne has the reputation of siding with the woman in every story for a reason. Also, saying I'll think about it is a no unless otherwise specified.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:45
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Blade Runner posted:He didn't demand sex, he asked her out quote:I said I can book us a hotel room and we can spend the night together. (yes, his later edit said "spending the night together" could be in separate beds. 0% buying that)
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Jun 27, 2019 16:46
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Leon Einstein posted:Anne has the reputation of siding with the woman in every story for a reason. I mean, yeah Anne, if you're wondering why people accuse you of that all the time, it's literally stuff like this
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Jun 27, 2019 16:46
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if their friendship is ruined because ticket goon didn't want to platonically travel to another city on a non-date then the friendship was fragile enough to die naturally
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Jun 27, 2019 16:48
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"I said I can" vs "I said this is required" Where is this getting lost in translation you stupid idiot, you absolute moron
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Jun 27, 2019 16:48
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here's the routine: say person did something horrible > posters point out that this didn't happen > say posters saying this didn't happen only say so because they're also horrible > get dogpiled > say "yeah well some people really are like that" and slink off let's just skip to the end
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Jun 27, 2019 16:49
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Let's just find something else to talk about
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Jun 27, 2019 16:49
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That belly sure was pregnant.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:50
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Xaris posted:yeah pretty much. the field itself would mostly not exist if they were like 'no body dysmorphia' cases.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:51
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hawowanlawow posted:here's the routine: 
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Jun 27, 2019 16:51
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DemoneeHo posted:WIBTA if I reported a coworker to HR after a (rejected) date leaves me feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone? I bet this lady still has the scars on her hand from repeatedly touching the stovetop
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Jun 27, 2019 16:51
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Anne Whateley posted:This isn't subtle As a dude I 100% agree with this reading of the story. Dude wanted to set up to gently caress after the concert, she said go as friends to imply she didn't want to gently caress him after. It may have still been a date, but she wanted to make sure he understood no sex afterwards.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:54
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Anne Whateley posted:This isn't subtle He may have been hoping for sex to happen, but that is amazingly different than him demanding sex or insisting she trade sex for tickets At the point where you have to say "oh yeah he specifically said this but he's probably lying" to literally your only point, and that point was already pretty tenuous, you should probably just give up the argument Apprentice Dick posted:As a dude I 100% agree with this reading of the story. Dude wanted to set up to gently caress after the concert, she said go as friends to imply she didn't want to gently caress him after. It may have still been a date, but she wanted to make sure he understood no sex afterwards. Typically people who do this would say things such as "I'm happy to go on the date but I'll get my own hotel room" or even just bluntly "I'm happy to go on the date, but don't expect anything to happen since it's the first date" and not just like lie about not wanting to go on a date and figure it'll work out Blade Runner fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Jun 27, 2019 |
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Jun 27, 2019 16:54
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PetraCore posted:Cosmetic surgery is also used to help people who have suffered disfiguring injuries or conditions. Fixing a cleft palete is cosmetic surgery, as is reconstructing a horribly burned face. It's not a totally superficial field, even if most cosmetic surgeons aren't making the big bucks helping burned refugees or whatever.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:55
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"offers to gently caress me if I don't tell HR." Has to be in the like Top 5 things you absolutely should report to HR.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:56
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Cat Army
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dudeness posted:"offers to gently caress me if I don't tell HR." Has to be in the like Top 5 things you absolutely should report to HR. Also the decision making post that to actually meet with the person is 100% top tier
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Jun 27, 2019 16:57
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kru posted:Also the decision making post that to actually meet with the person is 100% top tier Let's be real, they banged
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Jun 27, 2019 16:58
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dudeness posted:"offers to gently caress me if I don't tell HR." Has to be in the like Top 5 things you absolutely should report to HR. <has flhasbacks to that time their boss made them go to a strip club and tip the boss's girlfriend> oh yeah me too, thats, definitely top, uh, 5? Top 5, yeah.
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Jun 27, 2019 16:59
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chitoryu12 posted:
I went to Liberty Tax to do my taxes and got beat up by the sign spinner wearing a Statue of Liberty dress And by the end of the post everyone agrees that Lady Liberty sign spinner was 100% in the right.
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Jun 27, 2019 17:00
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If you have a friend who really wants to see a band, go with the friend. If you have someone else who is into you and doesn't care what you do, do something else. I don't get why this is so freakish and radical and shocking and misandrist. I have an extra ticket to Shakespeare in the Park, so should I ask a friend who really likes Shakespeare, or someone who dgaf about Shakespeare and would be equally happy hanging out doing anything else? Is the money the issue? I wasn't even factoring that in, because if the ticket's over like $20, I would pay him back for mine whether it's a date or not.
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Jun 27, 2019 17:01
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Barudak posted:<has flhasbacks to that time their boss made them go to a strip club and tip the boss's girlfriend> oh yeah me too, thats, definitely top, uh, 5? Top 5, yeah. <Remembers the time his lead petty officer made everyone in the workshop go out to get lapdances from his stripper wife two days after their wedding> yeah
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Jun 27, 2019 17:04
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“I’m not racist, I just don’t want this women to be my therapist solely because she’s black!” What are the comments on that one?
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