Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

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NtotheTC: Dec 31, 2007

Thanks PissChat

e:that's a bad snipe but I'm keeping it

# ? Jul 13, 2019 13:19

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 02:11

Xarn: Jun 26, 2015

I think that will be a content for the secfuck thread soon.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 13:20

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

JawnV6 posted:

https://twitter.com/skirani/status/1149302828420067328?s=21

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:14

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/mike_conley/status/1149845391153737728

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:32

susan b buffering: Nov 14, 2016

Carbon dioxide posted:

Ah, the people who use a stringly typed language.

I had to write PHP for a web programming class this spring and it was just an extended coding horror.

�Wait, an array of 2 strings is a callable? And this works? :psyduck:

�

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:59

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

this is my personal favorite
https://twitter.com/skirani/status/1149302836808704001

if one (1) human can comprehend "every line of code" you're building a toy project, this will eventually limit the possible scope of changes

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:56

Ola: Jul 19, 2004

1/10x engineers represent.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:00

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

This response makes it all worthwhile, though.

https://twitter.com/mike_conley/status/1149845391153737728

I was trying to conceive of a code base so small that you could know every line of code. I mean, why would that even be worth investing in? It sounds like Pets.com .

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:04

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/mike_conley/status/1149845391153737728

that's good but the guy has put all the pieces in roughly the wrong order imo. absurdity has to ramp up. the "typing on two keyboards simultaneously" should be at the start and the levitating should be at the end.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:07

Dirt Road Junglist: Oct 8, 2010; We will be cruel
And through our cruelty
They will know who we are

And if your 10x engineer gets run over by a bus, what then?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:13

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

True. That is the downside of an improv medium like Twitter.

Dirt Road Junglist posted:

And if your 10x engineer gets run over by a bus, what then?

He (always he) rises on the third day.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:15

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

Hammerite posted:

that's good but the guy has put all the pieces in roughly the wrong order imo. absurdity has to ramp up. the "typing on two keyboards simultaneously" should be at the start and the levitating should be at the end.

two keyboards is a real use case. docked laptop + real kb, one hand on each keyboard. ergonomic nightmare, but it's real

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:28

Jabor: Jul 16, 2010; #1 Loser at SpaceChem

so like a split keyboard, but you can still hit the letters in the middle with either hand?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:47

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Ola posted:

1/10x engineers represent.

It me

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:06

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

JawnV6 posted:

two keyboards is a real use case. docked laptop + real kb, one hand on each keyboard. ergonomic nightmare, but it's real

Well that merely reinforces my inclination to believe that "two keyboards simultaneously" is one of the less absurd images invoked by the tweet and therefore should be at the start

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:32

Sagacity: May 2, 2003; Hopefully my epitaph will be funnier than my custom title.

Dirt Road Junglist posted:

And if your 10x engineer gets run over by a bus, what then?

The bus will probably be fine.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 20:30

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

https://twitter.com/libbyrinth/status/1150104539950796800

# ? Jul 13, 2019 20:59

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

JawnV6 posted:

two keyboards is a real use case. docked laptop + real kb, one hand on each keyboard. ergonomic nightmare, but it's real

I have to try this the next time the director of sales wanders into my office.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 21:10

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Deffon posted:

It's a drat shame that the Single Responsibility Principle has become "Every class should have a single responsibility".
According to it's author, it was originally meant to be "Every module should respond to a single actor".

https://blog.cleancoder.com/uncle-bob/2014/05/08/SingleReponsibilityPrinciple.html

I have trouble taking anything written by Robert "Uncle Bob" Martin seriously, though, on account of him being a creepy rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 22:11

Plorkyeran: Mar 22, 2007; To Escape The Shackles Of The Old Forums, We Must Reject The Tribal Negativity He Endorsed

You don't really have to bring in his lovely non-software takes. Plenty of his advice about writing software is bad by itself.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 01:35

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

10x goons

Moderators if you ever come across this rare breed of goon, ik them. If you have a 10x goon as part of your first few iks, you increase the odds of your subforum success significantly.

OK, here is a tough question.

How do you spot a 10x goon?

# ? Jul 14, 2019 02:29

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

1. A 10x goon will carry a printer at least two blocks for a girl if she needs him to. As long as she�s pretty.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 02:29

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

2. A 10x goon has visited Reform, AL and can recall the experience in vivid detail. They cannot stop repeating �onions piled high� and once started will continue until passing out.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 02:31

boo_radley: Dec 30, 2005; Politeness costs nothing

A 10x goon is chaotic neutral.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 03:43

Pentecoastal Elites: Feb 27, 2007

if you meet the 10x engineer on the road, kill him

# ? Jul 14, 2019 04:42

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Plorkyeran posted:

You don't really have to bring in his lovely non-software takes. Plenty of his advice about writing software is bad by itself.

each post should make a single assertion of shittiness

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:13

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Doc Hawkins posted:

each post should make a single assertion of shittiness

SOLID waste

# ? Jul 14, 2019 09:04

ErIog: Jul 11, 2001

Pentecoastal Elites posted:

if you meet the 10x engineer on the road, kill him

無

# ? Jul 14, 2019 11:22

TheresaJayne: Jul 1, 2011

Here is an ongoing horror,

I was making a plugin for minecraft, I have a complete 3nf Database with everything based off the UUID that is provided from minecraft, economy table has uuid and amount etc.

The guy asking for the plugin likes looking at the data himself in the DB, and he doesnt want me to set up a view for him, I have to denormalise and put everything into 1 table with one record per user
which means that 1) there are multiple varchar fields that contain json data for multiple entries against that user and he wants me to use the TotalTimePlayed column and tell him how long the player has been online in the last day/ week/month/ year etc.

aaaargh!!!!!

# ? Jul 14, 2019 13:45

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

Make a view anyway and tell him it's a table with only SELECT permissions.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 14:33

Janitor Prime: Jan 22, 2004; PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean; Fun Shoe

gently caress him, just setup a view

# ? Jul 14, 2019 14:37

TheresaJayne: Jul 1, 2011

NihilCredo posted:

Make a view anyway and tell him it's a table with only SELECT permissions.

You can update and insert on views you know.....

# ? Jul 14, 2019 15:14

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/rickhanlonii/status/1149868394881015808

# ? Jul 14, 2019 16:23

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

TheresaJayne posted:

You can update and insert on views you know.....

If he is required to denormalize a bunch of stuff and aggregate the total time played, I doubt the resulting view will be updatable.

Also, ew.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 16:40

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/rickhanlonii/status/1149868394881015808

10x shitposter reporting for duty, sir

# ? Jul 14, 2019 23:00

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/rickhanlonii/status/1149868394881015808

3. 10x shitposters subforum background color is typically black (they always change defaults). Their keyboard keys such as b, i, t, h, c are usually worn out than of m, o, d, and s (report senders).

# ? Jul 14, 2019 23:11

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

QuarkJets posted:

10x shitposter reporting for duty, sir

Level up, I'm a 69x shitposter

# ? Jul 14, 2019 23:55

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

xtal posted:

Level up, I'm a 69x shitposter

That�s it? I�m a 420x69 shitposter.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 23:57

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

7x GM over here

# ? Jul 15, 2019 10:14

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 02:11

Xarn: Jun 26, 2015

I am somewhat cleaning up a library that was created in academia and, apart from of course not having any tests, it has some amazing code:

C++ code:

for (int i = 0; i < carry.size(); i++)
    ps_rem.push_back(carry[i]),
    Cs_rem.push_back(1);

C++ code:

void IncPBConstraint::print() const
{
  bool std_err = false;

  if (getN() == 0)
  {
    if (std_err)
      cerr << "TRUE" << endl;
    else
      cout << "TRUE" << endl;
    return;
  }

  if (conditionals.size() > 0)
  {
      if (std_err)
	cerr << "[";
      else
	cout << "[";

    for (int i = 0; i < conditionals.size(); ++i)
    {
      if (std_err)
	cerr << conditionals[i] << ",";
      else
	cout << conditionals[i] << ",";
    }

    if (std_err)
	cerr << "] => ";
      else
	cout << "] => ";
  }

  for (int i = 0; i < getN(); ++i)
  {
    if (i < getN() - 1)
    {
      if (weighted_literals[i].lit < 0)
	if (std_err) cerr << weighted_literals[i].weight << " -x" << -weighted_literals[i].lit << " +";
	else  cout << weighted_literals[i].weight << " -x" << -weighted_literals[i].lit << " +";
      else
	if (std_err) cerr << weighted_literals[i].weight << " x" << weighted_literals[i].lit << " +";
	else cout << weighted_literals[i].weight << " x" << weighted_literals[i].lit << " +";
    }
    else
    {
    // more lines like those above :-D
}

# ? Jul 16, 2019 11:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

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