/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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ilovebeersooomuch: May 23, 2014

VanSandman posted:

Cheese that expensive is still, at the core, just cheese.

How DARE you sir!
*monocle falls out of eye into flute of champagne*

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:31

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# ? May 31, 2024 10:51

ScentOfAnOtaku: Aug 25, 2006; I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Family political debate turned sour.....

Stop interacting with your racist family members. Even better, just stop interacting with racists altogether. gently caress common courtesy for common assholes.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:33

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Or just being horribly abused as he is being physically isolated by his spouse.

He's going to finish that novel, one way or another.

*picks up sledge hammer*

"We're coming to save you brother!"

*a train with Silver Bullet on the side plows through the house, knocking over possessive wife, brother shotguns a Coors Light, something something taste the Rockies*

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Jul 13, 2019

# ? Jul 13, 2019 15:33

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

CannonFodder posted:

He's going to finish that novel, one way or another.

*picks up sledge hammer*

"We're coming to save you brother!"

*a train with Silver Bullet on the side plows through the house, knocking over possessive wife, brother shotguns a Coors Light, something something taste the Rockies*

The Shining reboot sounds sweet

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:13

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

dudeness posted:

The best you can really do as a stepparent that is hated is not to give them any more ammo, and what you are trying to do is candygram a box of .50 BMG rounds to her.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:58

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

Party Husband couldn't stand not being the center of attention. I remember in the post or the comments that she says he passed out once the place was thoroughly trashed and expected her to clean it up.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ParserGirl posted:

Party Husband couldn't stand not being the center of attention. I remember in the post or the comments that she says he passed out once the place was thoroughly trashed and expected her to clean it up.

yeah he sucked, I dont know why that story gets built up except really obvious misogyny and disdain for woman things like parties were no one passes out

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:04

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For ignoring a coworker who refused to use my actual name?

I've worked at my office for 8 years. I'm on good terms with management and most of my co-workers.

Five months ago, a new guy was hired on a 6-month probationary period. I'm not his supervisor, but I'm definitely a senior employee. I'll call the guy Ted Faro, because he's a dick.

Supervisor was going around introducing Ted to people, and when he got to me said "This is John" and described my job.

Ted: "Hi, Jack."

Me: "It's John."

Ted: "What?"

Me: "My name's John, not Jack."

Ted: "It's close enough for me."

Supervisor: "His name's John, not Jack. Let's move on."

This continued for a few months. Despite reminders from supervisors (when he referred to me when I wasn't present) and myself, he continued to use the name Jack. I finally told him "You either use my name, or I ignore you completely, no matter what the situation is."

His response was "Sure thing, Jackie boy."

Since I don't work directly with him, I figured "screw it" and that I'd ignore him.

Recently he had a 2-day business trip that required car rental. I work late some nights, and Ted came to me and says "Hey, Jack, I'll be dropping the rental car off at 7 when I get back. See you there for a lift back to the office!"

(they closed at 6 and there's a drop box)

As promised, I ignored him.

7:15 rolls around on the night he's dropping off and I get a call. I recognize his number, so I ignored it. He called 7 more times, then starts e-mailing.

The first one was along the lines of "Jack I'm at Enterprise. Come pick me up."

E-mails pour in every 5-10 minutes, addressing me as Jack, Jack-o, Jackie, and Jackie-boy. The emails also started being laced with profanity and a couple threats.

I signed out and went home. It was raining hard.

Next morning, I saw that Ted had sent a few more e-mails. I printed them off. At 10am, he storms up to my desk and screams "Where the [f-bomb] were you? I told you when to pick me up! I HAD TO TAKE A CAB! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME?!" He goes on like that for a bit until his supervisor came and hauled him away and asked to speak to me.

Supervisor: "Ted tells me that you ignored his requests for a pickup when he dropped off the rental. He was caught out in the rain."

I relayed what happened, and showed him the printed e-mails. I'd highlighted the threats.

Supervisor: "I can see why you wouldn't want to spend time around him. But it was still kind of inconsiderate to leave him stranded in the rain. That's not the greatest neighborhood and he could have been hurt." he sighed and said "With the threats and him being on probation, he no longer works here. Just try not to be an a-hole in retaliation to your coworkers."

A few people at the office have commented that I'm the jerk for ignoring Ted and getting him riled up, which got him fired.

AM I the a-hole on this?

lol

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:04

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

[OH] Nephew stole my van, took it on "sweet jumps" with some friends and damaged it beyond what the van is worth.

quote:

Like the title says my nephew by marriage stole the spare key for the van and then took my van on a joyride with some of him buddies. While on this joyride he decided to take the van over a set of railroad tracks at high speed and through a set of fields and woods.

I have already filed charges with the sheriff's department about him stealing and damaging the van but at this point in time the van from my viewpoint is damaged beyond what can be fixed.

It's an 2005 Chevy venture and while on this stunt they ran the motor completely out of oil, scraped the ever living hell out of the underside including some major scrapes on the fuel tank, and bent the rear axle to where you can see that the tops of the tires are at least an inch or two further in than the bottom.

I'm wondering what ways legally I can get at least the value back for the van because of me only having liability for it. It wasn't my daily vehicle but my secondary vehicle.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:12

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for not punishing my son after he came up with a pretty elaborate plan to "peep" on the neighbor girl topless in her back yard?

quote:

Lots and lots of ugly background here but I'll try not to wander. My wife I have been separated for 2 years, ink to paper on an ugly and contentious divorce in May. I have primary custody of our two kids (daughter 17 and son 14) and live in the home which we've owned for 20 years.

On Monday I came home to find my son and two of his friends up on the roof to our little sun deck. I asked him what he was doing and if he was being safe. They said they were playing army and since I've coached the other two kids in mountain biking for almost 6 years now, I knew their parents wouldn't mind either. So I told him to put the ladder away when he was done and to keep his phone on in case I needed him to come down. I was actually most perturbed because he didn't put the ladder away. So they did this every day this week until Thursday when my daughter came home from her CIT job and in her every so sweet and acerbic tone asked me if I was really so stupid to think my son and friends were playing Army and let me know that the real reason is that our 22 year old neighbor was in her back yard topless and Aiden had set up a perch on the sun deck to get a better view. I climbed up thinking that she was just trying to get him in trouble but sure enough, the deck had perfect view of the chaise lounge where I assume the girl had usually sat. I told my son to knock it off and he said he would.

This morning I got an angry knock on the door and it was my ex wife and the neighbor (they have been friends for many years) apparently the neighbor called my wife sometime mid week and they had agreed they would "confront" me and my son Saturday morning. We sat down and it went from a calm "this is something we're concerned about" to accusations of me being an irresponsible absentee parent and my son leading an "adolescent sex ring" in a matter of seconds. I tried to remain calm and explain that they are just acting like 14 year old boys and I've gotten them to stop. My wife asked if I planned on punishing him, I said that I don't feel like he did anything punishment worthy and rather this was a learning experience about respecting peoples privacy. My neighbor said that if he were her son he'd be in intensive psycho therapy and medicated. I told her that was really overkill. My wife told me not to talk to her friend like that and I asked them to leave before it got any more nuts. My wife has texted me that I am being incredibly irresponsible and if I don't do "something" she's going to her lawyer to revisit the custody arrangement. In all of that she called me an rear end in a top hat several times and said it was more miserable being divorced from me than it was to be married to me. yay weekend!

I guess that's about it...but am I the rear end in a top hat for how I'm handling the issue with my son?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:27

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Coming back with 3 36s is a pretty baller move, lol I love her description of the horrors.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:34

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not punishing my son after he came up with a pretty elaborate plan to "peep" on the neighbor girl topless in her back yard?

I said that I don't feel like he did anything punishment worthy

gently caress you, douchebag, what the gently caress

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:44

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

i can hear the Livid White Woman voice saying "seVERE puhSYCHO THERAPY" while slamming her finger on the table, as if there's some profound illness at play as to why a teen boy would be willing to massively violate someone's privacy in order to peep some tee-taws.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:48

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

My (F20) boyfriend (M33) who's also a streamer keeps making sexual comments about a viewer

quote:

Alright so we've been together for 7 months or so and we met each other thanks to his stream, we started talking and stuff led us to be together. We live in the same country but quite far away which means i only see him once every two months or so.

He's always been a bit trashy with the way he talks, he doesn't keep stuff to himself and he'll be honest to the point of hurting people and that's okay but it's been a few month since i told him i had a problem with a particular girl who's often on his stream.

She keeps flirting with him even tho our couple has been public for a few months and he keeps making "jokes" about slapping her rear end or calling her the prettiest girl ..etc

At first i got very angry and told him that was disrespectful to me and that i didnt feel good about it ,we fought to the point of breaking up then he convinced me that it was only a way of entertaining the stream and that he doesnt care about her after the stream is done.

Then yesterday he did it again, i got angry and i made the mistake of drinking too much ( i was at his house), i basically ruined his evening stream and i feel like he's right for being angry about that but am i really overreacting about him and this girl? Knowing we met throught the same methods ?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:50

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

definitely misogynistic to own your wife

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:50

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not punishing my son after he came up with a pretty elaborate plan to "peep" on the neighbor girl topless in her back yard?

there is absolutely nothing abnormal, let alone "psycho" or deserving of medical treatment, about a 14 year old wanting to spy on boobies

but there are laws against being a peeping tom, and it's a violation of the neighbor's privacy, so he does need some kind of punishment. i suggest making him pick up trash at the local nude beach for the next four weekends, where it will be nothing but naked old fat men as far as the eye can see

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:56

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015; Can't post for 3 days!

LadyPictureShow posted:

*kicks door open, carrying cases of beer, hip hop blaring*
"YO DID SOMEONE ASK FOR THAT STORY WHERE THE HUSBAND MADE A lovely PARTY AWESOME?!"
*shotguns beer, everyone cheers*

I (28f) planned a wine and cheese mixer for almost a month. My husband (28m) of 5 years showed up with 3 36 packs of Budweiser and turned it into a frat party. I know this may sound silly but I'm crushed. What do I do?

IDK almost seems like the flow of a good wedding. Everyone dressed up, fancy drinks and formal setting, good food, then after dinner things start getting wild

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:00

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

How should my girlfriend [F24] and I [M26] approach her roommate [F25] about using her vibrator(s)?

Follow the lead of the thieving younger brother story, leave out the dildo but cover it in ghost pepper flakes.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:01

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015; Can't post for 3 days!

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not punishing my son after he came up with a pretty elaborate plan to "peep" on the neighbor girl topless in her back yard?

What are the odds that Dad figured out a more covert viewing spot

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:04

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Grape posted:

Follow the lead of the thieving younger brother story, leave out the dildo but cover it in ghost pepper flakes.

what the gently caress is wrong with the people ITT that they want women to experience profound vaginal agony?

like i skipped forward from the page that story was posted on because someone made this exact same joke but with pure capsaicin extract.

jesus gently caress y'all got problems.

edit- did y'all get tricked into jerking off with icy hot and now you just want the world to suffer

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:09

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Sagebrush posted:

there is absolutely nothing abnormal, let alone "psycho" or deserving of medical treatment, about a 14 year old wanting to spy on boobies

but there are laws against being a peeping tom, and it's a violation of the neighbor's privacy, so he does need some kind of punishment. i suggest making him pick up trash at the local nude beach for the next four weekends, where it will be nothing but naked old fat men as far as the eye can see

Pretty much this, especially since 14 year olds are dumb and have, ideally, worse judgement and sense of boundaries than adults. It doesn't make what he did okay, but it means I don't think it's dangerous or pathological as long as he apologizes, doesn't do it again, and learns better.

Unfortunately, part of learning better involves the adults around him modelling better behavior and holding him responsible. Treating the kid like he's mentally ill isn't going to help but neither is shrugging and going 'boys will be boys!'

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:12

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

PetraCore posted:

Pretty much this, especially since 14 year olds are dumb and have, ideally, worse judgement and sense of boundaries than adults. It doesn't make what he did okay, but it means I don't think it's dangerous or pathological as long as he apologizes, doesn't do it again, and learns better.

Unfortunately, part of learning better involves the adults around him modelling better behavior and holding him responsible. Treating the kid like he's mentally ill isn't going to help but neither is shrugging and going 'boys will be boys!'

yeah exactly. Like all of the parents in this are stupid idiots, because Mom is completely loving overreacting and dad is completely loving under-reacting. Neither response is going to do anything useful for that boy and neither response does anything to help the woman who was sexually violated by a Peeping Tom either

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:17

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

All of the adults in the peeping tom story are shitheads. Yes, dumbass, you need to punish your 14 year old so he understands he shouldn't be a peeping tom. No, mom and neighbor, it really ISN'T that serious that the kid needs therapy. It is wrong, but not abnormal for a 14 year old boy. Also, what is with all these people sunbathing naked in their back yards?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:20

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

therobit posted:

Also, what is with all these people sunbathing naked in their back yards?

The sun feels nice, and especially on areas with more nerves. Use sunscreen or don't do it mid-may thru mid-september. At least not in the afternoon.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:25

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

If you got a fence that is high enough and solid enough that if somebody needs to use a loving ladder to climb up and keep over it to watch you sunbathe, why shouldn't you be allowed to sunbathe in your own backyard? Why are we even questioning her choice when she was in a backyard that needed a ladder to be seen into, I think she was absolutely practicing due diligence and is allowed to not wear a shirt in her own yard

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:26

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Being able to whip it out in your back yard is like 40% of the reason to own a house.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:28

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

what the gently caress is wrong with the people ITT that they want women to experience profound vaginal agony?

Because it's a loving gross rear end thing to do to someone and a really offensive violation of that person's property and personal space?
If it was "Help, Roommate [20M] keeps using my [19M] Fleshlight" i'd say fill the sucker with Icy Hot and let them learn not to be loving gross rear end people.

therobit posted:

Also, what is with all these people sunbathing naked in their back yards?

They might believe they have a reasonable expectation of privacy if they have tall fences. But that's really out the window if there's a second story anywhere in view.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:30

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

FilthyImp posted:

Because it's a loving gross rear end thing to do to someone and a really offensive violation of that person's property and personal space?

That's a statement, they don't get question marks.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:34

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Pinecone Sample posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (24F) wants to go on a date with a guy that she just met.

WTF, I have said it many times before, but what the hell is with people that cheat and tell their partners beforehand? That is so much worse than
1. Not cheating
2. Breaking up and then getting with other people
3. Cheating, but having the drat minimum of decency to at least try and hide it

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:34

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

FilthyImp posted:

Because it's a loving gross rear end thing to do to someone and a really offensive violation of that person's property and personal space?
If it was "Help, Roommate [20M] keeps using my [19M] Fleshlight" i'd say fill the sucker with Icy Hot and let them learn not to be loving gross rear end people.

They might believe they have a reasonable expectation of privacy if they have tall fences. But that's really out the window if there's a second story anywhere in view.

Yeah, I was also thinking about the post a couple days ago with the woman who was mad about the guy watching from his balcony. Like, if you can see someone else's space from your yard, you don't have enough property to be naked in the back yard.

If the 14 year old has a habit of hanging out on the roof, you might expect you'll be seen at some point. And I would guess he does hang out up there because otherwise how did he figure out she was sunbathing nude out there in the first place?

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:36

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

what the gently caress is wrong with the people ITT that they want women to experience profound vaginal agony?

like i skipped forward from the page that story was posted on because someone made this exact same joke but with pure capsaicin extract.

jesus gently caress y'all got problems.

edit- did y'all get tricked into jerking off with icy hot and now you just want the world to suffer

Some men just want to watch the world's vaginas burn.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:40

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

LadyPictureShow posted:

*kicks door open, carrying cases of beer, hip hop blaring*
"YO DID SOMEONE ASK FOR THAT STORY WHERE THE HUSBAND MADE A lovely PARTY AWESOME?!"
*shotguns beer, everyone cheers*

I (28f) planned a wine and cheese mixer for almost a month. My husband (28m) of 5 years showed up with 3 36 packs of Budweiser and turned it into a frat party. I know this may sound silly but I'm crushed. What do I do?

This is a dick move for sure but tbh if I was just a guest not knowing the context and was at a party that suddenly shifted from a wine and cheese thing to a fuckin Animal House transition into a frat party I'd think the hosts are cool as poo poo. Just roll with it and call your husband an rear end in a top hat after.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Don't stomp on your loved ones thing that they care about, even if it's lame

You don't have to have respect for cheese platters, you just have to have respect for your significant other and that they care about cheese platters

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:45

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

What about having respect for the guests that clearly preferred and had more fun swilling beer?

Just lol at locking yourself away alone, but I guess IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO!

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:50

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

If you truly stan wine party wife you would change your username to warehouse chic

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:53

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

LadyPictureShow posted:

*kicks door open, carrying cases of beer, hip hop blaring*
"YO DID SOMEONE ASK FOR THAT STORY WHERE THE HUSBAND MADE A lovely PARTY AWESOME?!"
*shotguns beer, everyone cheers*

I (28f) planned a wine and cheese mixer for almost a month. My husband (28m) of 5 years showed up with 3 36 packs of Budweiser and turned it into a frat party. I know this may sound silly but I'm crushed. What do I do?

this is so sad and so loving funny :wow:

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:56

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

what about being naked in your own home but the neighbor likes to look through your blinds into your house? explain how that's different from the neighbor liking to use a ladder to look over your fence into your own yard

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:58

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

InediblePenguin posted:

what about being naked in your own home but the neighbor likes to look through your blinds into your house? explain how that's different from the neighbor liking to use a ladder to look over your fence into your own yard

you definitely showed all those folks who have been defending the kid. all those vast hordes are now thoroughly chastened.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 19:00

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Bargearse posted:

Throwing actual literal turds is a bit much, but I really don�t blame him for feeling that way.

Guess that lady didn't know that A Wrinkle in Time and its writer are Jesusy as hell. Or maybe she read the later sequel that's super into twins being hot and vagina tearing and knows what she's doing.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Family political debate turned sour.....

VIRTUE signaling, goddamnit, it's VIRTUE signaling. If you're gonna be a shithead, do it... never mind, just don't.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 19:05

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# ? May 31, 2024 10:51

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

InediblePenguin posted:

what about being naked in your own home but the neighbor likes to look through your blinds into your house? explain how that's different from the neighbor liking to use a ladder to look over your fence into your own yard

I think everyone agrees that the dad should punish the kid, but that a 14 year old doesn't require "intensive psychotherapy" for an elaborate scheme to see some tits. Dad is also hopelessly naive at best.

I give guy who brought up her sunbathing the benefit of the doubt here, I don't think he was trying to argue she did anything wrong, just that it's a topic that's popped up a lot recently.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 19:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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