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PHIZ KALIFA posted:no, the harry potter quote is how i know the girl is too drat stupid to be trusted with her own agency. Teenagers: not allowed to enjoy a series for teenagers
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Jul 17, 2019 20:49
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if you're mature enough to gently caress you should at LEAST quote the entirety of the I AM JOHN GALT speech in your profile.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:50
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Midnight Voyager posted:I'm never going to get parents not explaining to their kids why behaviors are bad, wrong, or dangerous. That's part of parenting. It just doesn't work. When my son came out as straight I told him that he was choosing a life of misery and crime, as I've told him every time he introduces me and my husband to whoever he is dating.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:51
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AITA for siding with my brother in law over my own sister? For background, I am Australian but I currently live/work in Singapore. I have two houses back home, one of which I have been letting my sister and her family (3 kids) live in almost rent free (just enough to cover property expenses). They've been living there almost 10 years now without any issues. My sister is married to a top bloke called Campbell. Great guy, works for a mining company and makes a decent living. My sister is a kindergarten teacher and doesn't make very much. This might be relevant which is the only reason I'm mentioning it. Anyway, it recently came out that my sister has been having an affair for a while now. Campbell is obviously loving devastated and the two of them immediately agreed to separate and eventually divorce. Now, the both assumed that being my sister, she should continue living at my house (with the kids) while Campbell rents an apartment. When I found this out I called Campbell and asked whether he was okay with this arrangement, or whether he would prefer to continue living at my house (with the kids) while my sister moves out. He obviously wanted to continue living there with the kids and only moved out because he assumed I'd side with my sister. So I tell my sister the new arrangement and she loses her mind over this. I basically told her in no uncertain terms that going forward Campbell will continue living at my house, whether they divorce or not. My family thinks I'm being a manipulative rear end in a top hat for: Not siding with my own sister Inserting myself into "their" problems Doing this despite knowing it will help Campbell get primary custody since my sister can't afford to take care of them + pay rent I take the opposite view: I think I am doing the morally right thing by not letting my relationship with my sister cloud my judgement. In my opinion, Campbell is the one that deserves to continue living there since my sister is the one that ruined the marriage by cheating. So yeah, sorry for rambling, AITA? Just realised I should mention that sister staying at my other property is not possible.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:51
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Lol what a meltdown
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Jul 17, 2019 20:53
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:because young children don't operate on logic. it's, in the most neurologically literal way possible, a language they do not understand. How young are you thinking? Because once they're old enough to talk and be spoken to like human beings they sure as hell can understand logic.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:54
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Also it helps to know your parents will explain things to you even if you don't always understand.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:56
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:because young children don't operate on logic. it's, in the most neurologically literal way possible, a language they do not understand. nobody is talking about small children except you, you colossal doofus telling your five-year-old "you can't eat candy for dinner because i said so" is an entirely different situation from telling an 18-year-old "you can't go on dates until you move out because my house my rules"
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Jul 17, 2019 20:56
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chitoryu12 posted:How young are you thinking? Because once they're old enough to talk and be spoken to like human beings they sure as hell can understand logic. they understand cause-and-effect in an immediate way (hot stove = pain) but magical thinking doesn't generally stop until age 11. I should have been more clear in specifying that I meant abstract logic, like morality, which is the underpinnings of most rules. this is something i've had to deal with as an educator, so i understand that folks have pretty strong feelings about childhood agency and control, but please trust me when i say the 5 year old is going to put their hand on the stove no matter how long you explain to them the thermodynamics of induction heaters. Sagebrush posted:nobody is talking about small children except you, you colossal doofus i'm curious if you can explain why that is without being an unwarranted prick about it.
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Jul 17, 2019 20:57
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chitoryu12 posted:How young are you thinking? Because once they're old enough to talk and be spoken to like human beings they sure as hell can understand logic.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:00
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AITA for skinny dipping in my own pool? Wife and I recently bought a home with a pool. We have neighbors very close. Less than 10 feet between buildings close. However, we have a six foot stone privacy fence between us and neighbors on both sides. I enjoy swimming naked. It's my pool, it's my house! I only do it after the sun goes down. My wife is afraid our neighbors might see into the pool from an upstairs window. There is no window directly looking down on the pool from a neighbor. To see into the pool they would have to make an effort to look sideways into the backyard from the window or look over the privacy wall. I am not running around the backyard naked, just chilling in the pool with a beer. AITA for skinny dipping?
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Jul 17, 2019 21:01
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i'm curious if you can explain why that is without being an unwarranted prick about it. because, per your own post, the 5-year-old isn't really equipped (developmentally or experientially) to understand why they can't eat candy for dinner, but the 18 year old absolutely is old enough to comprehend a reasoned argument for why they can't go on a date, if you can produce one. spoiler: usually when you refuse to give a teenager a reason beyond "those are my rules" it's because you haven't got one that they couldn't immediately take apart, and that's why it's a sign of bad parenting
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Jul 17, 2019 21:03
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Sagebrush posted:because, per your own post, the 5-year-old isn't really equipped (developmentally or experientially) to understand why they can't eat candy for dinner, but the 18 year old absolutely is old enough to comprehend a reasoned argument for why they can't go on a date, if you can produce one. the mom gave a reasoned argument for why she can't go on a date, and she rejected it because, and this is a fairly good point on her part, she really really REALLY wanted to go. mom doesn't owe her another explanation when the daughter just rejects it offhand like that. Leon Einstein posted:I was looking at the full moon the other night with my 2 year old and told him about humans landing on the moon. I asked him how he thought they got there and he said "helicopters". Instead of calling him a dumbass because helicopters don't work in space, I was impressed by his logic. RIP sikorsky, thought of rotor damage and died
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Jul 17, 2019 21:05
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Sagebrush posted:spoiler: usually when you refuse to give a teenager a reason beyond "those are my rules" it's because you haven't got one that they couldn't immediately take apart, and that's why it's a sign of bad parenting You'll also be making it very clear to said teenager that you aren't very smart, something you'll never truly recover from in their eyes. But hey, app gone!
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Jul 17, 2019 21:05
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I actually haven't spoken to my straight son in several years but was reminded of him today. The last time I spoke to him was when I went to meet with some clients at their office. After the meeting I told my son to wait while I used the bathroom, then I drove off and went for a late lunch with my husband. Apparently my son just wandered around the office for a week, living on snacks and left out sandwich platters, until he wandered into a meeting and delivered a PowerPoint presentation entitled: "Have you seen my dad? I can't find his car in the parking lot." I guess this really impressed the idiots who worked there, because pretty soon he was their Senior Director of Corporate Communications. This is a Fortune 500 company, mind you. Seems like my son is doing pretty well, despite his heterosexual handicap, and is now a motivational business speaker and published author with works such as: Where is YOUR Dad? Defining Your Company's Core Values for Success Lost in the Parking Lot: Finding Meaning in a Shifting Business Paradigm Anyway, I was reminded of my son today because during a meeting someone said, "Well right now I'd say we're lost in the parking lot. But once we've had time to make sense of the analytics we'll know where our dad is."
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Jul 17, 2019 21:07
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the mom gave a reasoned argument for why she can't go on a date, and she rejected it because, and this is a fairly good point on her part, she really really REALLY wanted to go. mom doesn't owe her another explanation when the daughter just rejects it offhand like that. lol the mother's reasoned argument was not to date anyone until marriage
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Jul 17, 2019 21:08
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the mom gave a reasoned argument for why she can't go on a date, and she rejected it because, and this is a fairly good point on her part, she really really REALLY wanted to go. mom doesn't owe her another explanation when the daughter just rejects it offhand like that. Hey a lot of folks are calling you an rear end but I'm just glad they let you have a computer in the Mennonite compound.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:10
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Straight White Shark posted:lol the mother's reasoned argument was not to date anyone until marriage i know, it's a bit lenient on her side. frankly i don't think the girl should date anyone ever, and marriage is a scam perpetuated by the roman catholic church so they have a steady supply of parents too stressed to realize how much raping the priests are doing. sexpig by night posted:Hey a lot of folks are calling you an rear end but I'm just glad they let you have a computer in the Mennonite compound. i tried building a turntable with a pair of oxcart wheels and some cats but the cats wouldn't let me plug a preamp into them and they haven't come out of the hayloft since. :<
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Jul 17, 2019 21:10
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the mom gave a reasoned argument for why she can't go on a date, and she rejected it because, and this is a fairly good point on her part, she really really REALLY wanted to go. mom doesn't owe her another explanation when the daughter just rejects it offhand like that. "sex before marriage is bad" and "my house my rules" are not reasoned arguments
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Jul 17, 2019 21:13
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the mom gave a reasoned argument for why she can't go on a date, and she rejected it because, and this is a fairly good point on her part, she really really REALLY wanted to go. mom doesn't owe her another explanation when the daughter just rejects it offhand like that. no. the mom gave a bunch of reasons that she thought were valid: quote:I had never allowed my daughter to used dating apps as they are very dangerous. I had read so many articles that young girls ended up abused and worse by their tinder dates, that I had made a point of educating my daughters and telling them that you only find your real love trough real life. then the daughter argued those points quote:She told me that he was a sweet guy and she was safe. That she would share her location with a friend and only meet him in public. and then rather than acknowledging those refutations and starting to work out a compromise or producing further reasoned arguments against dating, she chose to ignore them entirely, because quote:My reasoning behind it was, my house my rules and as long as she lives here she has to abide by my rules, plus it's a phone we bought so it's technically ours and I can take it as I please and see fit . To sum up: 1) ultimatum based on exaggerations and misperceptions 2) refusal to acknowledge alternative points of view 3) my house my rules, oh and i own your personal effects because i bought them Crappy parenting. Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Jul 17, 2019 |
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Jul 17, 2019 21:13
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Leon Einstein posted:I was looking at the full moon the other night with my 2 year old and told him about humans landing on the moon. I asked him how he thought they got there and he said "helicopters". Instead of calling him a dumbass because helicopters don't work in space, I was impressed by his logic. You should have explained to him that his idiot 2 year-old brain isn't even capable of logic or reasoning, and now you have to take away all of his rocketship toys because he can't be trusted with such a flimsy understanding of aerospace and since you bought them they're technically yours anyway
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Jul 17, 2019 21:17
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Sagebrush posted:and the mother decided to ignore those points because because they're stupid, irrelevant points. sharing your location does nothing once the dude has taken you to a secondary location. if you don't know the dangers of secondary locations, here's a brief primer.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:17
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QuarkJets posted:You should have explained to him that his idiot 2 year-old brain isn't even capable of logic or reasoning, and now you have to take away all of his rocketship toys because he can't be trusted with such a flimsy understanding of aerospace and since you bought them they're technically yours anyway Already done. My house, my rockets.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:17
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:because they're stupid, irrelevant points. sharing your location does nothing once the dude has taken you to a secondary location. if you don't know the dangers of secondary locations, here's a brief primer. You can share your location with someone on Google Maps now. Like they can see where your phone is for a set amount of time.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:20
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:because they're stupid, irrelevant points. sharing your location does nothing once the dude has taken you to a secondary location. if you don't know the dangers of secondary locations, here's a brief primer.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:23
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AITA for not wanting to lotion my girlfriend’s finger? Oof, I may not have a girlfriend after today, so this is painful to write. My girlfriend accidentally cut her index finger with a knife and required surgery to reconnect the tendon she sliced. The surgery left her with a gnarly-looking zig zag scar along the length of her finger that requires regular hand therapy appointments. Ive been as supportive as I could be because she no longer has use of her dominant hand as it heals. Responsibilities we typically share, Ive happily taken over. Cooking most meals, washing all of our dishes, washing her hair, etc. She got her stitches out two days ago and comes home today with a little container of specialty lotion. She asks me to massage the lotion into the surgical cut on her finger. The cut is healing well but the incision is still very prominent. The thing you should know about me is I am VERY squeamish with bodily injuries and even some normal bodily functions. I can’t watch anything with body gore and will have a physical reaction to being forced to touch something like an eyeball (for contacts). My girlfriend is the complete opposite: watches surgery videos “for fun” and seems to enjoy doing things like popping pimples on my back or pulling sea urchin spikes out of my bleeding foot. As soon she asks me to lotion her finger, I physically cringe with the thought of touching someone’s still healing wound with my bare hands. “You want me to do what?!” I say immediately. “Massage the lotion into my cut.” “Can I use some rubber gloves?” “No way.” “Can’t you use your other hand to apply the lotion?” “That hand needs to cradle my surgery hand.” “I will happily cradle your hand as you apply the lotion.” “No. I want you to do the lotion. Stop being a wimp.” She continues to berate me and I give in, take the lotion and begin massaging it into her finger—with my eyes closed. She tells me to open them. I open them and stare at her face. She calls me a pussy for not looking at her scar as I touch it. Things devolve from there. She argues that if I can’t even put lotion on a finger how can she expect me to take care of her if something happened to her in the future like a bad car accident or serious illness? I tell her that if for some reason something like that happened, I could get over my squeamish tendencies because she would be physically incapable of caring for herself. I tell her that she is physically capable of applying lotion to her own finger. She says Im selfish. I tell her I probably shouldn’t have had such a visceral reaction when she asked me and that I would be willing to help—gradually. She says thats not good enough. She reminds me her step-father left her mother after her mother was diagnosed with cancer and that I would probably do the same. She says I should be willing to care for her in any capacity, no questions asked; if I can’t do that, I’m wasting her time and maybe we’re not right for each other. We’ve been dating two years.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:23
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:because they're stupid, irrelevant points. sharing your location does nothing once the dude has taken you to a secondary location. if you don't know the dangers of secondary locations, here's a brief primer. they're not remotely irrelevant. 1) dating in 2019 is predominantly through apps; mother's statement that "real love is found in real life" is just objectively false 2) tinder is not "an app for casual sex"; it started out that way, arguably, but it hasn't been predominantly about casual sex for several years at least 3) maybe the guy is nice, maybe he's not, but the chances of him being a rapist are about the same whether she meets him on tinder or at the Young Republicans meeting 4) location sharing keeps your location continuously updated. that's the whole point of doing it instead of saying "i'm meeting him at the mall" mother just doesn't want her daughter to go on a date, couldn't come up with any valid reason other than backwards morality and obsessive control, so she falls back on You Are My Child So I Own You.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:24
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8 month-pregnant myself (F32) found texts of my husband (M34) to his ex asking her to raise baby togetherquote:Dear all, I am 8 months pregnant. Few days ago I did something I for the first time in my life: my husband fell asleep with unlocked phone and I checked it. What I found shook the ground: I found a Whatsapp conversation between him and his ex dating back to Feb. Clarification: back then I was 2 months pregnant and it was 1 month before our wedding. He said many things, such as “I really really tried but I don’t love her the way I did love you”, “gently caress the wedding day, I want to marry you”, “I have never stopped thinking about you”. A bit of their story: she is 40, and their struggled to have children. She managed to get pregnant, then had a misscarriage and they broke afterwards. The wors thing he said “Babe, we couldn’t have children. Now we can. Let her carry it, and we will cherish fruits of it together”. My world literally fell apart, as I feel it was built on a big lie. I am giving birth in 1 month. We have just bought a house and moved in. I am not ok at all, but I haven’t talked to him yet. I am afraid of how far he can go. I shared this with couple of friends, but for now I haven’t got the advice - everyone just asks “how are you” and “what are you going to do”. Could you please share your thoughts or advise or anything that comes to your head, please. It might help me.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:24
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to lotion my girlfriend’s finger? both of these people need to grow up. touching a wound won't kill you but wearing rubber gloves is actually probably a good idea for both parties.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:25
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Leon Einstein posted:Why would going on a date with a person from Tinder be inherently more dangerous than going out with a person you met IRL? Everyone (who reads articles from realnewz.biz on Facebook) knows that's how you get human trafficked
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Jul 17, 2019 21:25
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QuarkJets posted:You should have explained to him that his idiot 2 year-old brain isn't even capable of logic or reasoning, and now you have to take away all of his rocketship toys because he can't be trusted with such a flimsy understanding of aerospace and since you bought them they're technically yours anyway If you do not instill in your children the goal of surpassing and destroying you in all aspects, you are failing in your duty as both a parent and a member of the human race. All sons must kill their fathers.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:27
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children in my house are permitted to do as they please so long as they can solve my riddle, which 1. proves they are capable of logic and 2. is obnoxious enough they eventually just stop trying to do anything
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Jul 17, 2019 21:27
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Leon Einstein posted:I was looking at the full moon the other night with my 2 year old and told him about humans landing on the moon. I asked him how he thought they got there and he said "helicopters". Instead of calling him a dumbass because helicopters don't work in space, I was impressed by his logic. congratulations, your 2 year old is smarter than this person's mom: My [20F] Mother [38F] doesn't believe man landed on the moon. Where do we go from here? quote:I don't know if this is the right sub for this. I'm honestly just completely shaken. the holy poopacy fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Jul 17, 2019 |
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Jul 17, 2019 21:31
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I've heard the "trees don't exist" one, is birds don't exist a real conspiracy theory or a reddit joke
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Jul 17, 2019 21:32
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christmas boots posted:If you do not instill in your children the goal of surpassing and destroying you in all aspects, you are failing in your duty as both a parent and a member of the human race. The Riddle of Steel only it’s you and your dad. Which is more powerful? Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:34
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Leon Einstein posted:Why would going on a date with a person from Tinder be inherently more dangerous than going out with a person you met IRL? the person on tinder has a much higher likelihood of being a saudi oil tycoon trying to abduct nubile young playmates for his Pleasure Barge. in real life you hace to be already established as hot slutty and dumb for that to happen.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:34
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Sagebrush posted:doesn't change the fact that use of that phrase in particular is always comorbid with Bad Parenting Although my go-to was "Because I am an evil mother and want to make you suffer."
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Jul 17, 2019 21:40
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My (M, 30) wedding has pushed my relationship with a longtime friend (M, 30) to the brink. We've been friends for nearly two decades and, from the beginning, there has been one issue we've run into repeatedly: Him wanting an extremely close friendship and me preferring just a moderately close one. I don't want to have long phone conversations with him every day, visit him out-of-state multiple times a year, and share every detail of my life with him as soon as it happens. But he pushes for these things and I feel guilty for hurting his feelings when I don't provide them. For years I sat on the phone with him for hours every day just to avoid telling him I didn't want to talk to him as often and for as long as he wanted to talk to me. When I finally did break down and tell him how I felt about the phone calls, it understandably hurt his feelings a great deal but we ended up getting past it. But the same fundamental issue with our friendship has persisted and just continues to manifest itself in other ways. I consider him a good friend and care about him, but he gets miffed if I don't tell other people he's my "best" friend and acts jealous about me spending time with other friends. The truth is that my fiancee is my best friend and I'm closer to my brother and another friend than I am to him, but I dare not say this to him because he's so sensitive about any hint that he's not as big a part of my life as I am of his. I'm getting married next June and he is now upset and not speaking to me because I chose my brother as my best man and not him. I know the hurt is emotional and not rational: He doesn't have a brother of his own and made me the best man at his own wedding, which I happily did for him. But now I can't help but feel frustrated that he's making an issue about being "just" a groomsman and not best man at my own wedding. He's not a person who sublimates his own emotions, so it does no good that he realizes I'm not doing anything wrong by making my brother my best man: He still responds to perceived slights and hurt feelings by visibly and verbally getting an attitude about it. I would hate to end the friendship entirely, but I also hate feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around him and hate being made to feel guilty for not putting him before other people in my life that I actually feel closer to than I do him. I know you can't just tell another person to stop feeling hurt, but is there any way to help soothe a friend's hurt feelings in a situation like this without just giving in to what they want? I already dread the fact that even if we get past the best man thing, I will then have to explain to him that my fiancee and I only want the best man (my brother) and maid of honor to make toasts at our reception, because I already know he's going to be mad about not getting to make a toast of his own. He wants some sort of position of prominence at the wedding that puts him "above" the other groomsmen and my brother as an important part of my life, but the truth is that I don't want that because to me he is not above them. And that's the crux of the problem. TLDR: My friend is angry about me making my brother my best man instead of him. I want to be sympathetic about his feelings because I know they come from a place of hurt about our friendship being unbalanced and not a genuine belief on his part that I don't have the right to choose my brother over him. But even if we get over this specific hurdle, what is the prognosis for the friendship as a whole? Is it inevitable for an unbalanced friendship to eventually collapse? And if not, how do we get past this issue once and for all?
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Jul 17, 2019 21:43
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I've heard the "trees don't exist" one, is birds don't exist a real conspiracy theory or a reddit joke If you want concentrated crazy, There are no Forests on Flat Earth is a comprehensive slog.
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Jul 17, 2019 21:45
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Arsenic Lupin posted:It's pretty useful with ten-year-olds. "But whyyyyyy?" for the fifteenth time is met with "Because it's my house, and it's my rules." Using it with adults, though, is ugh. oh word? weird it's almost like children are egocentric monsters who understand dominance but not cooperation. weird. really weird. maybe the fault is in you, Arsenic Lupin, i say, as someone who is neither a parent nor an education professional (j/k thx for backing me up, this post was written in the style of one of my many lunatic haters, who are horny with their hatred of me)
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Jul 17, 2019 21:46
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