|
SweetMercifulCrap! posted:I'm having a hard time deciding who is more inept and clueless, Nathen or Doobie Doobie had to bilk a bunch of online dinguses to get his money. That takes some measure of, well not skill, but something. I assume Nathan just has blank checks signed by his rich family. Who pat him on the head and say “what a wonderful idea”.
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 12:51 |
|
|
# ? May 24, 2024 19:03 |
|
Doobie's but it's theme is Lil' Abner.
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 13:18 |
|
Captain Beans posted:Doobie had to bilk a bunch of online dinguses to get his money. That takes some measure of, well not skill, but something. Doobie is the story of a man winning the lottery and then squandering it.
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 13:30 |
|
LadyPictureShow posted:I'd like to imagine he and Mestre da Pizza are bitter enemies. It seems fitting that every Pizzeria Batepapo post is presented without comment. Truly there are no words!
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 17:28 |
|
{Arabiolysis} Chapter 4: Possessed Housequote:Mazri's Law #4: Buckle up kids. We're headed to Bat Country. Absent Saudi Arabian CEO Dad is doing pretty well for the himself: quote:(Mom's prayer to move from their first SA house) was answered after three years when my called us long-distance to Canada during the summertime and spilled the good news to mother. At no time have I ever imagined the Cinderella sequel being sort of a gritty slice of life but it's Current Year bitches - feel-good is out: quote:One hot night in mid-January, I had been sitting in my room like sitting in prison, but for injustices that I alone perceived. I wept. I wandered back and forth in this room, barely thinking until I picked up the wooden chair from my desk and smashed it on the floor and into the wall, alerting my mother, sister and brother to come and watch the dramatic scene taking place. My mother tried to calm me while I yelled out my anger and how sick I was of this place. Nathen goes on to recount visiting the hospital enough time for trivial complaints that he started to become the butt of the joke with doctors and nurses. Rather than have a little introspection, Nathen accuses them of not taking things seriously enough. Meanwhile, back on the set of Cinderella 2: quote:The red cup of Nescafe was losing it's effect on me and was no longer a benefit. Smoking was never an option, as the ideal man is physically fit and withdraws from smoking at all times. I never liked the smell anyways! Drugs were not accessible here and never caught my attention. However, pills did flow around in the family tree where my grandmother, uncle, and aunt would be using them. It soon piqued my interest to consume some relaxing pills called Ativan (lorazepam), which is used to treat anxiety associated with depression. The ideal man is apparently physically fit, withdraws from smoking at all times, and doesn't mind dipping into his grandma's benzo stash now and then. I enjoyed how he rationalized stepping from two cup of coffee a day to someone else's Ativan prescription - it's clearly the logical move. Also if I were these people I'd be a teensy bit pissed to be ratted out. Nathan's mom believes that there is a pair of literal demons roaming the house, causing strife and rifts between family members. Nathen tells the whole thing without blinking an eye: here are the sheiks she discussed this with, here are the Quran verses (Nathen helpfully cuts and pastes giant sections of the Quran here) to play on repeat in your house which... quote:The chapter would play in the house over and over again and to place the blue eye at the entrance on the door or nearby in order to repel people from jinxing you and your family and to protect you from envious eyes towards your possessions. Nathan gets some religion at this point and recalls praying five times a day and studying some religious texts. There's never any resolution to whether or not they got rid of the demons but Nathen continues to alienate people so I guess not. Directly after a paragraph where Nate recounts how the devil tempted him to skip going to the gym, he drops this whopper of a tale: quote:On the weekend of Thursday, my mother, sister, and aunt were on the their way back home at 21:00 o'clock with our driver when they were chased by Saudi men in a white Bentley and one on a motorbike (equipped for the desert) flashing away their numbers on leaflets and spitting on their window saying: "I want to gently caress you!" over and over again. They pulled in front of our car as my mother validated that the car was locked while my aunt threw a bottle of water on the head of the biker, pushing his buttons. The driver managed to reverse and come home while my mother called my father and uncle for the rescue. Whew, lots of twists and turns in that one. Forget this dumb book, I want to read the driver's memoirs. No time to reflect on all that though because Grandma notices Nathen is slumped over more than Lowtax and sends him to 'her' orthopedic doctor: quote:The doctor kindly asked me to bend down (don't try to picture it) as low as possible. He took his index finger and placed it on my spinal cord, starting from my neck and moving lower, bending to the right, curving back to the center and finally to my rectum. The doctor raised his head and said to my grandmother: "the boy has Scoliosis; it is a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved from side to side, shaped like an 's', and may also be rotated. The cause remains unknown but it is usually inherited." "Yup, just finishing up the ol' scoliosis test here by tracing my index finger to your rectum... there! All done. Right in front of your grandmother too" Nathen breaks the news about his inherited condition to his parents: quote:We went back home and broke the news to my parents. My mother and dad both felt my spinal cord. Surgery was mandatory and chances were 15% that I would become paralyzed; the outcome largely depends on the surgeons skills. Nathen's surgery is now upon us and he bravely soldiers towards- ha ha, just kidding, he cranks the pathos to eleven: quote:"It's OK!", I replied. "Dad, my eyes are closing... hold my hand." Tragically Nathen survives and "The Eye of the Tiger" plays over a movie montage of him "learning how to walk again". Well, learning to walk again and watching a bunch of daytime TV because he's suddenly fixated on... quote:The best moment in the day was when Oprah is playing on MBC 4, a local Middle Eastern English Channel. This amazing woman has helped me to rejuvenate my way of thinking and helped me forget my pain with her words of wisdom and moving and poignant shows. Ah but that's not all. He writes a letter to Oprah. But instead of printing it out and sending it to Oprah he writes it into the book and oh no now I have to read it: quote:Dear Oprah: ...and so ends one helluva chapter. Summary posted:What is the theme of Chapter 4? Up next: Chapter 5: Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, and done! Thots and Prayers fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Jul 20, 2019 |
# ? Jul 20, 2019 18:55 |
|
would any toronto goons actually recommend this place? I'm tempted to go for lunch at work some time, but it seems like their pizza and lasagna starts at 15 bucks and thats pretty pricey, garfield or no garfield!!
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 19:00 |
|
I'm from Toronto and I highly recommend it. Go Jays!
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 19:02 |
|
Vincent Van Goatse posted:I'm imagining Doobie opening an og hous in New York or some place backed by idiot Saudi oil wealth and it's a picture I tell ya wut Nathen's Nog Ous - Drink it with a straw!
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 19:09 |
|
I am an 18 year old who loves hot Oprah This ride keeps getting better and better, my god.
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 19:28 |
|
Vincent Van Goatse posted:I'm imagining Doobie opening an og hous in New York or some place backed by idiot Saudi oil wealth and it's a picture I tell ya wut I'm imagining he gets picketed and boycotted the day after he opens due to his wonderful beliefs- 'we dont serve no black lesbian hackers in this fine establishment'
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 19:44 |
|
*zooms in closer on the chicken's rear end in a top hat* MMMM PIZZA
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 21:46 |
|
Garfield EATS: I am an 18 year old who loves hot Oprah
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 22:13 |
|
Thots and Prayers posted:"Yup, just finishing up the ol' scoliosis test here by tracing my index finger to your rectum... there! All done. Right in front of your grandmother too" That's actually legit, it's a variation of the Adams forward bend test. We used to get it done in elementary school that way, because running your finger along someone's spine helps detect problems faster than sight alone.
|
# ? Jul 20, 2019 22:48 |
|
this place has a lot of great reviews on google.com
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 04:56 |
|
Pastry of the Year posted:I am an 18 year old who loves hot Oprah FINALLY! A thread for an outpouring of my love for hot Oprah!
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 05:03 |
|
Will Taylor 2 reviews 4 weeks ago- What have you done lately. These people made a Garfield themed take out only pizza restaurant. Quit your job and get your high school band back together. If you dream it you can make it. Someone made a motherlovin' Garfield themed take out only restaurant. They got building permits and financing to do this, all for your entertainment. You don't like it because it's "too expensive" and "not very good"? Didn't stop Neil Armstrong from faking the moon landing and it didn't stop them from making a cartoon app-exclusive restaurant. Anything is possible. (Will's only other review is of Canada Post and I'm positive all 14 likes of this review are from Nathan's other astroturf accounts with one review)
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 06:43 |
|
COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:Will Taylor
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 07:02 |
|
COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:Will Taylor Coincidentally my high school friend and now step brother who I started a band with is balls deep in conspiracy theories now.
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 07:41 |
|
Thots and Prayers posted:{Arabiolysis} Chapter 4: Possessed House
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 07:43 |
|
FuhrerHat posted:ps someone got murdered right outside this place the other day I’m going to guess it was related. https://twitter.com/2007narutoamv/status/1148974882803343361?s=21
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 13:21 |
|
SweetWillyRollbar posted:Coincidentally my high school friend and now step brother who I started a band with is balls deep in conspiracy theories now. Coincidentally?
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 16:28 |
|
piratepilates posted:I'm tempted to go for lunch at work some time Be sure to order a "Garfacino with dog cum, no orange peel."
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 19:00 |
|
Good old Gunfield.
|
# ? Jul 21, 2019 19:12 |
|
crazy eyes mustafa posted:Coincidentally? Trying to find out how Doobie and hot Oprah fit in to all of this!
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 00:35 |
|
EL BROMANCE posted:Good old Gunfield. The NRA should've made a deal to have him be the kids' firearm safety mascot instead of that lame eagle
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 05:40 |
|
COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:Will Taylor Anything's possible with a dream and a shitload of your billionaire dad's money!!
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 08:57 |
|
Agent Escalus posted:The NRA should've made a deal to have him be the kids' firearm safety mascot instead of that lame eagle Eddie the Eagle had Jason Priestly and a can-do attitude.
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 14:39 |
|
Garfield EATS Oprah's rear end.
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 15:03 |
|
Elderbean posted:Garfield EATS Oprah's rear end.
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 17:12 |
|
If Oprah were to be informed of this situation and showed up at this dude's place while he's there, you suppose that'd be interesting? I suppose it would.
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 17:36 |
|
Big Beef City posted:If Oprah were to be informed of this situation and showed up at this dude's place while he's there, you suppose that'd be interesting? Gotta eat that booty like lasagna with extra cheese.
|
# ? Jul 22, 2019 19:21 |
|
How the gently caress did the motherfucking Garfield eat an app?
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 03:04 |
|
Want to interview the turnkey point of sale menu guy about their reaction to this disaster.
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 17:40 |
|
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 17:54 |
|
Bobcats posted:Want to interview the turnkey point of sale menu guy about their reaction to this disaster. This guy is probably so proud of the goofy custom names for everything on the menu spaghetti cow, big agna, izza ribs and g meal are all Original Ideas, will not be stolen because they are so bad
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 17:55 |
|
don't doxx me
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 17:55 |
|
That boy ain't right
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 17:57 |
|
The Big Agna sounds like it’ll give you Big Angina
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 18:48 |
|
Lol poor Nathen, Zoomers are incapable of experiencing non-ironic joy and that kid is definitely going to go back and talk mad poo poo to his friends.
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 19:24 |
|
|
# ? May 24, 2024 19:03 |
|
I never truly believed in the concept of soulmates until I saw this photo.
|
# ? Jul 23, 2019 21:30 |