Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for selling my son's home because they decided to be childfree?

I know the title sounds bad but hear me out.

I'm 47F, my husband is 49M, my son is 28M, his fiancee is 27F.

When my son proposed, we talked to both he and his fiancee to find out their game plans for the future. We wanted to buy them a house but one question decided how big: do they plan on having children?

Their answer was "yes", so we did buy them a house, but kept it in our name. Because they were common-law at this point and not yet married, we worried what if they broke their engagement: if the house was in my son's name for example, she would be entitled to some of it. At least in our names, our family is protected. We think the world of his fiancee, this was just a devil's advocate, worst case scenario thing.

They've been engaged for two years and the wedding is coming up this October. But we were hit by a bombshell a couple of weeks ago that they no longer have any desire to have children. This is fine: we don't expect or assume anything, if they don't have kids, it's their life, we don't respect them any less for it. But it made my husband a little tiffed that we specifically bought them a big house under that assumption.

We would have bought them a smaller 2+1 bedroom or thereabouts if they planned on being childfree. But instead we were told children are in their future so we bought them a 5 bedroom home. This is like the difference of a factor of two. We spent our money needlessly.

I'm pushing my husband to sell the house because it's in our name still. My husband says it will create a rift between families but this whole thing was based on misinformation. I don't think they did it with malice "hehe we get a bigger house if we lie", but I think they knew they didn't want children. You don't be in a relationship for 8 years and don't have that conversation, right?

Would I be the rear end in a top hat for selling their home? We'd get them a smaller one, of course, we just don't think they'll need anything bigger. They'd never be homeless.

EDIT

Just so it's clear, we don't mind or care if they have children or not. The problem is they have a larger house we bought specifically for a family. Children need extra space. Now that it's out of the question, they can make due with a smaller house.

Our other son is married to a wonderful man and we bought him a house, too. Same kind of scenario as this, they got a 2+1 bedroom house. In our names until they got married, then transferred to their name once married. This is how we're giving our two children wedding gifts. There's already been hubbub between my children "why does x get a 5 bedroom home when we only got a 2 bedroom", etc. "Because they're having children" can't be our reasoning anymore.

this is fair actually. no single couple needs a 5 b house. the kids are lucky to get anything, and a house! jeez louise

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

millionaire pick firing out hot payment opinions

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

E: beaten, and to death

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Jul 23, 2019

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.
What kind of animal eats in their car?

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Three Olives posted:

What kind of animal eats in their car?

What, you expect me to budget enough time on my driving trips to pull over at a rest stop for a picnic? How will people know I'm successful if I'm not constantly rushing everywhere and finding ways to damage my relationships for the sake of multitasking and gluttony?

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
TIFU by accidentally revealing to my wife that I had slept with her sister.

quote:

UPDATED

So this happened a last night. She uses Reddit so I hope she doesn't read this. Thank god we dont share accounts. No I did not cheat on her with her sister. Allow me to explain.

I had met my wife some 6 years ago through a mutual friend. After a about few months of dating, we decided we wanted to move in together. She was 20 and I was 22. At this point I had not yet met her family nor has she met mine. I guess once her parents got wind of our big plans, they decided to have a celebratory dinner to meet the "poor sucker" as her father described me.. she and her sister lived with their parents. We got there just in time, dinner had just come out of the oven. All seated at the table, her sister comes upstairs and me and her immediately lock eyes. Was a very awkward 2 hours. Her sister pulled me aside when she got a chance and we both vowed to never speak about the one night stand.

Fast forward to today, my wife decides to ask me funny questions she read online. Her question was "where is the wierdest place you have ever had sex. We have an understanding that we both had sex lives before we met so I thought I would blow her mind with this one.

well. I proceed to tell her about the craziest place I ever had sex. I told her how our mutual friend ( same on who had introduced us) had a massive party. His property was huge and had a semi repurposed barn in the back. Me and some girl found a nicely secluded area of the barn and went at it like a bunch of barn animals. We were loving vigorously that we broke some old rocking chair we were "repurposing" ourselves. As I'm sitting there laughing away, I notice she is not laughing. As a matter of fact she looked disgusted and shocked. Like she was about to burst into tears. I realized something was wrong.

Turns out she had asked her sister that question early. And her sister provided the same choice of craziest places right down to the broken chair and the month of the year. I completely forgot that THAT was where I banged her sister.. well we had some unsettling words. I tried to convince her it was just a coincidence. She spoke to her sister but I dont know what was said. She hasn't spoken to me since. I slept on the guest room and she was gone for work early by the time I got up. Her sister wont answer my calls. Guess I'll find out after work what the situation will be.

UPDATE: it's hard for me to reply to everybody considering the situation. I haven taken alot of the comments into consideration. But unfortunately I have already spoken with my sister in law. She thought that never in million years would I have revealed that information or the details of it to my wife. From what I know so far my wife is more upset that we conspired to hide it from her for so many years. At the time she was questioning me, I was really intoxicated as I do enjoy the occasional toke or two since weed is legal where I reside. I have not yet spoken to my wife but I do know that she has packed some bags and is staying with a friend, coincidentally it's her friend who dislikes me. For those of you who are concerned, yes, during my FU I was trying to convince my wife that our stories were coincidentally similar. What can I say, i was high, panicking and trying to quickly resolve the situation

TL;DR : I accidentally told my wife I banged her sister 6 years ago before we met and now i dont know if our relationship is over or not

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Three Olives posted:

What kind of animal eats in their car?

I used to do it every single day when I had an hour commute and already had to be up at 4:30. Sausage egg and cheese biscuit bay be.

Dixie Cretin Seaman
Jan 22, 2008

all hat and one catte
Hot Rope Guy

Breetai posted:

One of the skeeziest things I've ever witnessed is about ten years ago when a friend of mine got unexpectedly pregnant to her dirtbag boyfriend and decided to keep the baby. I'm there in the hospital visiting the day after the baby is born, a bunch of her friends are there taking turns holding the baby, and upon seeing one of the girls there kissing his own daughter on the forehead the guy gets a big smile on his face and proudly exclaims "Hurr hurr hurr: her first lesbian kiss."

wow that dirtbag bf could be president someday

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Were now at like 5+ stories where both sisters want to bang the same guy and only like 1 story where they didnt so my scientific result is reddit should advise you to just ask for the three way at the start, no reason to waste time.

Acres of Quakers
May 6, 2006

Barudak posted:

Were now at like 5+ stories where both sisters want to bang the same guy and only like 1 story where they didnt so my scientific result is reddit should advise you to just ask for the three way at the start, no reason to waste time.

Fuckin' Chad!!

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood
huge risk of an incestuous Lady & The Tramp scenario if they end up suckin on the same D

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

Pinecone Sample posted:

Boyfriend [21M] won’t clean his belly button. What should I [24F] do?
I've known more than one person with this phobia. It is gross.
My (24M) GF (25F) pretended to break up with me as a "Wake up call"

quote:

It all started when we both hopped in my car to drive to grab some dinner. She had her phone plugged into my car to play music, but my car also reads your text messages out loud. She suddenly received a text message from a guy that was new to me and never mentioned anything about. We've been together long enough that we each know who our friends and co-workers are. Either way, that's not the problem, as she doesn't need to report back to me prior to gaining new friends.

The problem was my car read the text message outloud and it read "Your body is a lot hotter than your BitMoji ;)". She quickly tapped a button on the dashboard that replied "Sorry, I'm driving" and he instantly replied "Oh, Sowwy". At that point, her phone also unlocked and as I glanced over, that was the first message in the chat log of the conversation with this guy.

I confronted her about it, she stated it was her co-worker, and she did not expect a message like that. She said they exchanged phone numbers a couple days ago for "Overtime Opportunities" and that was the first message he ever sent her, and she states she will take care of it at work.

I asked her if she can take care of it right now, and she refused, got angry and yelled "Just drop it". I asked her if I can see the messages, and she refused, got even more angry and asked to be dropped off on the sidewalk. I pulled over, dropped her off (Which was 2 blocks away from my house) and continued home. As I got home, she called me back, stating she over reacted, asked me to come pick her back up and clarify that nothing is going on.

When I picked her back up, she showed me the messages, and she texted him "What do you mean?" And his reply was "Oh, I did not realize that upsets you, I am sorry, it won't happen again", all while she was out of my car. I asked her if any messages were deleted, she got upset, walked into the house, packed up her belongings, took the cat and said "Were done" and spent the night at one of her girlfriends houses.

Throughout the night, I tried calling her 3 times and she did not pick up, but at the same time I'm seeing Snapchat stories from her partying and drinking with friends. Meanwhile I'm also getting messages from her family stating "I heard you guys split apart".

Fast forward until the morning, I called her again and still didn't pick up. 2 hours later, she called me back and said "I was angry and frusterated because I don't need you investigating me". She was not serious about breaking up, but wanted to show it to me as a "Wake up call" to what's going to happen if I continue to "Investigate her" about this guy.

We had about a two hour conversation on the phone, me expressing my concerns that I don't want to start getting more serious and live in fear that your going to use my love as a weapon and threaten "walking out on me" when things don't go your way or want to communicate. She agrees, apologises and stated she acted out of line and out of anger and frusteration. I ask her if she again can solve this issue now instead of waiting until while she is back to work and she starts screaming again and says "Am I speaking English, do I need to speak in another language for your brain to understand? You're making me angry and I will walk away on you". I hang up.

Fast forward until the end of the night, I finish work and I come back home and she's back home. She starts apologising again, stating she didn't mean it, I'm the future father to her kids, doesn't see anyone else and doesn't want anyone else. She stated shes stubborn, and wants things her way, and gets angry when it doesn't go her way.

I didn't really have anything to say, I don't know what to think at this point. Obviously I still have a lot of feelings for her and we live together as well. But I am scared and worried about investing more time and effort and/or tieing ourselves in with bigger responsibilities ex. Marriage, Kids, Mortgage, if she's willing to pack her bags and walk out on family in the blink of an eye. I told her my love for you isin't something you turn around and use as a weapon and ammunition to have things your way ex. "If you make me mad again, I will walk away on you again".

I am looking for some advise and help. We've been together for 1 year.

Thank you.

TL;DR: GF recieved a sexual message from a co-worker, didn't want to call about it and broke up stating I'm "Investigating". Next day she tells me she didn't mean it, just wanted the break up as a "wake up call" to see what happens if I continue to Investigate.
There is a giant text wall of update on this one, essentially the dude stating "well, maybe this part wasn't that much of a red flag" to each giant red flag.

e: lol at another sister bangin' story.

DeadMansSuspenders fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Jul 23, 2019

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Three Olives posted:

What kind of animal eats in their car?

reclining seats, climate control, regulation of my own music? car lunch breaks are p good

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Pick posted:

this is fair actually. no single couple needs a 5 b house. the kids are lucky to get anything, and a house! jeez louise

Yeah its really fair.

NTA for having them downgrade.

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.

quote:

This might be confusing, but I will try my best to be clear. I am typing this on my tablet, so please forgive me for any spelling/grammar mistakes. Just to note, this is the first time that an issue like this has come up in our marriage and I do not know what to do.

I have been writing romance novels since I was in college. I was a relatively successful author and I have made a living off selling my novels ever since. I do not make a lot of money, but I do bring home ~$40,000 a year in book sales. This allows me to stay at home during the day so I can write and also make crafts to sell in my etsy shop.

A few years after college, I met Tim and we instantly hit it off. We dated for three years before tying the knot and we bought a house shortly after. Tim makes his living off his investments and stocks, however, we keep our finances separate. This is because Tim inherited a vast amount of money from his family and before we married, I signed a pre-nup agreement in order to ease his mind. We both contribute an equal share to the joint bank account for bills, then we use the remainder of our money for ourselves.

About a year ago I landed a contract to write part of a romance series. The contract was huge and the payout was over $120,000 for a few months' work. I contributed my share to the joint account and then put the rest of the money into the bank so I could buy an RV. I have always wanted an RV because I love to travel and nothing would make me happier than being able to write while on the road. Tim is often away on business for days at a time, so the RV would give me an opportunity to get out of the house while he is away. After six months of deciding, I chose a lightly used RV and purchased it from the owners for a great price.

When Tim found out I purchased the RV, he was excited. He has a travel trailer, but it's not the same as an all-in-one RV. He loves RVs and he wanted to immediately take it out for a trip across the state. We took our trip and Tim couldn't stop talking about how much he enjoyed the experience and he started talking about taking more trips together. I gently reminded him that even though the RV is a fun thing for us to have for vacations, that it's main purpose is for me to have something to do while he is away for business (but that we would be taking plenty of vacations together!). Tim agreed with me and he let it go for a while.

The thing is, in the past few weeks, Tim has been badgering me about taking the RV with him on his business trips. He usually flies when he goes to check his rental properties/visit family and he is normally gone for 4-5 days at a time. We got into an argument because he had to evict a tenant and he wanted to drive the RV across the state in order to do so. I asked him if I could come along, and Tim said he would prefer if I didn't. I then said that if I couldn't come with him, that he couldn't take my RV. I suggested that he take his travel trailer instead and he got mad and stormed out of the house. About an hour later, he started texting me like nothing had happened and then he said he was taking the RV as if our previous conversation had never happened. I called him and tried to explain that he had just purchased a brand new pickup and that if I didn't get to drive his new truck in his absence, why should he get to take my RV when I am not coming on the trip?

Tim and I went back and forth and eventually he said I could come along if it meant that much to me. I said I would, and now I am regretting everything. I am sitting in the back of my own RV with a man who won't let me touch the wheel. It has been three days since this trip has started, and all Tim has done is rant about how awesome the RV trip would be if I weren't with him. It has made me question everything in our marriage, from how we split our finances to how we argue and function together.

This is the first time that anything like this has ever happened and I don't know what to do in this situation. He is still ranting as I type this and he's never done that before either.

tl;dr: I bought an RV with my money so I could write/travel in it while husband is away for business. Husband insisted on taking the RV with him without me, I convinced him to let me come. Now he is ranting about how he doesn't want me on the trip while I sit in the back of the RV hating my life.
:sever:

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.

:sever:

her husband is landlord trash, he was driving across the state to coerce the tenant into loving him in lieu of payment and she wrecked his plans

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

My sil (34f)has named my(29m) wife (30f) her bridesmaid at her wedding. In Milan. On my 30th birthday. I'm not invited.

quote:

My wife told me a couple days ago her Sister would be getting married on the weekend of my 30th birthday on the other side of the world. I will have to stay home, alone, with our toddler for a week taking care of him. Alone.I'm pretty deeply upset she is even considering being apart of this.

Her sister has always had it out for me since the beginning of our relationship (8yrs). She is a doctor, and looks down on any and all people who don't have MD's and JD's. She tried to break apart our relationship in all stages but because my wife and I have a great relationship and her and her sister do not ( my wifes sees through her miami high rise south beach clubbing mercedes benz lifestyle) these attempts have always been brushed off as being sourced in her superficiality. I really dislike her but I'm fortunate to be able to avoid contact entirely (her whole family infact will not even speak to me, never have save her mother on a handful on occasions in 8yrs ,getting married, and baby, have never even seen/met her brother (a cardiologist)and was also put into the awkward position of being not invited while my wife was and having to a babysitter for his wedding )

But now my sil is getting married, In Milan and my wife is considering going to be apart of her wedding. We really don't have it in the budget for world travel but its not an impossible expenditure. However I'm not invited. I was told I "could" come to Italy but have nothing to do with the wedding aka, take care of the kiddo and generally be alone.No thanks. My wife dosnt want to fly for 18ish hours alone with our son so I will be home alone with a 2 yr old on my 30th birthday. No family or friends in our area (rural). We are a very strong family unit and last year for her 30th birthday we all went to Hawaii. Her going to Milan would be the budget we had planned for my birthday vacation(far more modest- a weekend driving getaway to a NP).
She thinks I'm overreacting and should respect "her family" despite them showing me absolutely none. Am I that wrong to be upset about this?

tl;Dr Sil wedding on my 30th bday, I'm not invited.

Skippy McPants
Mar 19, 2009

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

e: lol at another sister bangin' story.

Not totally uncommon in rural towns where there's only a few dozen people in your age range and nothing to do except drink and screw.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

Arsenic Lupin posted:

There's a followup!

I'm genuinely pleasantly surprised an AITA story ended with the rear end in a top hat going 'oh, yes I am an rear end in a top hat, I'll work on respecting others more'

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012
in the room where you sleep

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.I [30 F] am sitting in the back of my RV as my husband [32 M] rants about how lovely the trip would be if I hadn't joined him.

:sever:

um so i found the update and holy poo poo:

quote:

My first post is here. The TLDR of the first post is that I bought an RV with my money so I could write/travel in it while husband is away for business. Husband insisted on taking the RV with him without me, I convinced him to let me come. Now he is ranting about how he doesn't want me on the trip while I sit in the back of the RV hating my life.

I promised I would update, but things got very hectic and this is the first chance I have gotten. This whole situation makes me very emotional, so please forgive me if this post is not as coherent as I would like it to be.

When I posted my first post, we were on the road in the RV and my husband was giving me the cold shoulder while he bitched at me from the driver's seat. You all had some great advice for me about what I should do, and I listened to a few people who suggested that he might be cheating on me.

Tim had left his iPad in the back of the RV to charge while he drove. I'm not proud of this, but I was able to sneak his iPad into the bedroom while he was distracted by the road. He was logged into his email account and I quickly skimmed over his inbox but didn't find anything suspicious. I then had the idea to check his sent folder and found out that he had been chatting up his ex from college. It made me sick to my stomach to read the messages, but luckily they had not yet been physical. Translated from chatspeak, the message he had sent his ex was basically: "I can't wait to get my hands on you! It's been years since I felt that mouth. I'm excited!"

I was disgusted, but I tried to keep calm. We were on the road headed to another state and we planned on stopping at his mother's house. I knew that if his messages were in the sent folder, that meant that he had deleted them. Tim was not planning on being caught and was trying to hide his tracks. He wanted my RV so that he could take his ex around the state and have fun without leaving a credit card trace. I took photos of the emails and sent them to myself in order to preserve the evidence. I then went back to the front of the RV and acted as if everything was fine. I apologized (don't worry, I lied) for how I had acted and suggested that we ask his mom to help us work through this. Tim said that he was sorry and that he accepted my apology. He said he was looking forward to using the RV in the future and that he was glad I had come to see reason. I smiled and nodded but on the inside I was cursing his existence.

We made it to his mom's house and I made up an excuse about having to change because my clothes were wrinkled. Tim went inside without me and I started throwing all of his clothes and belongings into a trashbag. I then went inside the house and Tim was sitting with his mom in the kitchen. He asked me what I was doing with the bag and I told him that I was giving him his clothes so that I could leave. Tim then got angry and asked me what the gently caress was I doing and his mom was simply confused. She asked me what was going on and I told her, "I'm not sure myself. I'm waiting for Tim to explain why he was planning to cheat on me with his ex."

Tim's mom then started to cry and yell at Tim while he tried to calm her down. I know Reddit does not have a lot of love for religion, but Tim's mother is a fundamentalist. She had loved me from the minute Tim introduced me to her and it would be an understatement to say that she was very upset with her adulterous son. Tim never tried to apologize to me, instead he chased after his mother saying he was sorry to her. This made her cry harder, because she knew that he wasn't even trying to make amends with me, he was just apologizing to her. She hugged me and told me to just go home and she would handle her son. I thanked her and took the RV keys from Tim (this ended up being a minor wrestling match) and left. I drove home crying, but at least I got rid of my rear end in a top hat ex-husband.

Tim called me the next day and begged me to come back to him. He said it was all a mistake, that he was sorry. I asked him why he didn't apologize at his mother's house, why he didn't say he was sorry when I was handing him his bag. I told him that he didn't care about cheating on me, that all he cared about was how bad it made him look to his family. He tried to explain himself, but I cut him off and hung up. I blocked him on all social media and haven't heard anything since.

I have gotten a lawyer and have already started the divorce process.

tl;dr: Husband thought he could get away with cheating on me by using my RV. I found his emails, packed his bags, and left him at his mom's house. His mom took my side and has ripped into him since. I got a lawyer and have filed for divorce.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My sil (34f)has named my(29m) wife (30f) her bridesmaid at her wedding. In Milan. On my 30th birthday. I'm not invited.

So how black are you, OP?

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy

christmas boots posted:

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds," he is reported to have said, as he decided to calculate the tip based on the post-coupon total rather than the original price, the first of many atrocities made possible by his work.

:smuggo: Theoretically I have given you an infinity percent tip.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



ElectricSheep posted:

reclining seats, climate control, regulation of my own music? car lunch breaks are p good
It also allows you to get away from your desk for a while without needing to chat with co-workers in the lunchroom. Not all the time, but if it’s been a rough morning, holy hell does it feel nice to have 45+ minutes alone.

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009

HIJK posted:

um so i found the update and holy poo poo:

Petra owns. Seeya later, shitlord!

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

Skippy McPants posted:

Not totally uncommon in rural towns where there's only a few dozen people in your age range and nothing to do except drink and screw.
True. I just especially enjoyed how this one played out.

HIJK posted:

um so i found the update and holy poo poo:
um god drat. Wow. I have to work on my search skills.
I[27/M] rejected my SO[26/F]'s "proposal" and now she is mad.

quote:

Forgive me if this ends up being too long, but brevity isn’t my forte.

So, Ashley and I have been dating for 4 and a half years. I met her at our college freshmen orientation and we started dating in our second year. Our relationship had its fair share of up and downs, but thankfully, it was never tainted with infidelity. The sex is great, we talk about our issues, we’re attracted to each other and everything is just perfect. We live in an apartment that we rented together and we both have jobs.

A year ago, she got into a phase when all her friends were getting married and she got marriage into her mind. She asked me what I thought about marriage, and I told her that I definitely see us getting married some day but we were still pretty young, and wanted to wait a bit before we settle down and start having kids. Also, I was working at a startup and got a very senior position so I was very busy at work.

A year went by. Nothing big happened. We took a small vacation to Hawaii, visited her folks in Florida. Pretty routine. We had a few arguments but nothing to worry about. Last week, she told me her sister was getting married. I didn’t think much of it, and simply asked about when the wedding is, where it is etc etc. She for some reason answered curtly and by the end, seemed the teeniest bit pissed with me. I ask if anything is wrong, and she said no. The entire time since then, its been wedding fever all over again. Cakes, dresses, music, food…loving hell, it was madness. Yesterday, we were watching TV after dinner, and we started making out. Midway, she stops and sits up. She wants to talk about ‘us’. She told me that she’s been waiting for me to propose for months. I tell her that I’m at a critical juncture with my business. We’re in talks for a merger with another company and I’ve been flying all over the continent. Also, I told her that we’ll be moving to a bigger apartment soon, so once our lives settle down we can get married. She’s the kind of girl who wants “unicorns and butterflies” and I want to give her a beautiful wedding and I want to propose the right way, but I’m too occupied with my professional life right now. Then, she says :

“gently caress that! Let’s get married right now. I know its not the perfect time, but there’ll never be a perfect one. Come on! Let’s get married.”

I’m gaping at her with my mouth open. She says “Well, will you marry me ?”. I let out an incredulous “No”. Cue the river of tears. She’s sobbing like a child. I’m trying to comfort her but she just tells me to go away. I finally am able to hold her and tell her that I’m not saying No. Just saying not right now. She doesn’t stop crying and shuts the bedroom door. I slept on the couch.

The entire day its been nothing but the silent treatment. I ask for a kiss before going for work and it seemed like her lips were made of liquid nitrogen. No emotion.

I come back in the evening, I picked up some flowers and her favorite dish from an Italian restaurant. She’s not there. Note on the fridge says “Out with Lily(one of her girl friends)”. I call Lily to double check and she says she is there with her. I didn’t want to talk to Ashley right now, because the conversation we’re supposed to have shouldn’t be done over the phone. I fall asleep on the couch watching TV. I woke up early to work out and she was in her room sleeping. Its now around 9 and I’m heading for work. I called her boss and told her that Ashley’s sick and isn’t going to be coming in today. I’m leaving a note for her telling her so.

So, people, help me out here. What do I say to her ?

I’m anticipating some particular responses and here are my replies in advance.
  • 1 - You are stringing her along you loving twatgoblin, marry her already.
    I’m waiting for this merger to be over then I’m planning to take her out of the country and propose there.
  • 2 - You don’t seem like you even want to marry her. Let her move on, you moron.
    I love this girl with all my heart. I cannot be without her and we simply “work”. Its the best relationship I’ve ever been in, and I’m not letting go of this one.
  • 3 - You piece of poo poo, you rejected her proposal, I don’t even know why she’s with you.
    It wasn’t a real proposal. We’d both had a bit of wine (her more than me clearly). For gently caress’s sake, who says “gently caress that! Let’s get married”.
TL;DR : Rejected my SO’s impromptu “proposal” and now she is mad.
EDIT Please, people, try and understand that maybe I'm under a lot of stress too! I have this huge thing that I'd been planning for months coming into action and maybe, my actions were stupid, but just assuming that I'm a blatant dumbass who is just stringing her along for the fun of it... Sorry, not true. I'm under tremendous pressure myself, and simply wanted this merger to be over when I planned on proposing to her, because then we can sit and plan and talk and be together.

EDIT 2 I blew off work. Heads will roll because of that but you people are right. If I don't take care of this now, she'll bail. She still passed out after drinking heavily I suppose.
I like the update :kimchi:

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Vim Fuego posted:

her husband is landlord trash, he was driving across the state to coerce the tenant into loving him in lieu of payment and she wrecked his plans

Close ! He was planing on banging his ex. In his wife's RV.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3g5394/update_i_30_f_am_sitting_in_the_back_of_my_rv_as/

e. beaten :-(

Barudak
May 7, 2007

The noRV of that man

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
I'm real close to having sympathy for someone that owns and operates an RV, reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaal close.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Admiral Ray posted:

I am in the process of patenting a vehicle modification that allows you to throw whole uncooked chickens into your radiator. They are processed, fried, and launched out of your AC vents directly into your mouth for the most delicious road chicken tender you've ever eaten. We're also perfecting our sauce delivery system which will replace the airbag system and explode into your vehicle every time you tap the brakes. This ensures complete and even coverage of all possible chicken locations within the vehicle.

gently caress yeah jerky in the air intake all day too. :jerky:

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for accepting it when I "got my way" after crying?

Some light backstory: I'm a crier. I cry at everything. I'm not even usually all that upset when it happens, it's just a weird physical reaction that I go through at the slightest hint of negative emotion (my own or others). My boyfriend of the last year has been incredibly understanding and patient with me about this, and I'm working with a therapist to get a better handle on myself.

​Here's the issue: we recently went out to the other side of the country to visit my family, which was his first time really spending a good amount of time with them. They all get along great, which I couldn't be happier about! One of the days we were out there, though, I went through a small series of inconveniences (a small screw-up on a work email I had to deal with, our dogsitter accidentally locked herself out of our house so I had to call our neighbor to let her in, things like that) that soured my mood a little bit-- and then I found out my dad had gotten us dinner reservations for a seafood place that I'm sort of ambivalent to.

​This is where I potentially become the rear end in a top hat. No one in my family makes a ton of money, so we don't go out to dinner very often; for that trip, it was reasonable to assume we'd only being going out the one time. Not only was I ambivalent to the chosen restaurant, but there's another restaurant in town that I really love and I'd hoped we'd be able to go to that one, and I guess on top of all the other tiny disappointments throughout the day it was just the one that pushed too far and I started crying. To be clear, I wasn't even that upset! Just a little disappointed. But I couldn't stop myself from crying. I really, really tried, it just happened.

​My dad asked what was wrong, and I told him honestly that I'd hoped we could have gone to the restaurant that I liked instead, and he offered to cancel the reservation for the seafood place and get a reservation for the other place the following night instead. I accepted, and was really grateful. It was a really nice thing for him to do, and I really appreciated it.

​My boyfriend was mortified. He said that the way I complained was whiny and childish, and he couldn't believe that after all the work I've put into not giving my tears the weight of genuine sadness that I'm not even feeling, that I would "manipulate" my dad by crying to get my way. I'm still kind of in shock that he saw it that way. I told him it wasn't like that, my family's used to how I cry over nothing, and he said that's even worse because that just means they know to drop everything and "fix what's wrong" with me so I stop. I don't know. I'm really shaken by this, am I really being manipulative? Should I have told him not to change the reservations even though I was really happy he did? I don't think anyone was heart-set on the seafood restaurant, but I guess I didn't get a chance to ask. So please, Reddit, I need some outside perspective. AITA?

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

Totally looks manipulative. Hope your boyfriend sticks with you so no one else has to deal with someone that cries to nearly everything :qq:

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for getting a single mother fired even though she was nice to me?

For context, I am really into body building and have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week since I was 13 (now 29).

There is a personal trainer, Ashley, at my current gym thats also a single mother of two. I mention this as it’s the reason I think I’m probably an rear end in a top hat since she clearly needs the job to support her kids.

Anyway, I’m not really friends with her, but she’s always really nice to me and has flirted with me a lot previously. We talk occasionally. Yesterday she asked if I wanted to add her on social media and I figured why not, so I said yes.

Later in my workout I started looking through her posts out of boredom when I saw a picture of a morbidly obese person along with a caption making fun of them trying to run. The picture was clearly taken at the gym.

This really angered me because they’re trying to improve their health, and the last thing they need is some attractive young girl talking poo poo about them, even if it’s not to their face. I scrolled through a few more posts and sure enough this is a regular thing. She discreetly takes pictures of fat people to make fun of when they’re working out.

Really really pissed me off to see these people being made fun of for trying to fix their life. Without thinking I just went straight to the owners office (we know each other well) to show him. Ashley was fried immediately.

When I told my GF she said I’d let my anger get the best of me because now her kids will suffer if she can’t find another good job. So now I feel kinda poo poo about doing that, AITA?

abigserve
Sep 13, 2009

this is a better avatar than what I had before

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for accepting it when I "got my way" after crying?


this is a huge case of misdirection. "I cry at everything, seriously, I'm not even really upset when it happens, really, It's just a physical thing. Anyway, we didn't go to the restaurant I wanted, so I got upset and started crying"

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting a single mother fired even though she was nice to me?


Love these.

rear end in a top hat for the title NTA at the end.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Boyfriend has a free pass to be the first person in the history of mankind to say to someone "Ill give you something to cry about" without it being emotional or physical abuse and hes blowing it

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for accepting it when I "got my way" after crying?

talk to a doctor

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
"I'll give you something to cry about" should be followed up with a soulful blues solo.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

I don't cry to get my way but when I cry I get my way. Not sure how that happens!

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Ghost Leviathan posted:

"I'll give you something to cry about" should be followed up with a soulful blues solo.

Blasts "Its my party and Ill cry if I want to" out of the saxophone like a man possessed as he backs out of the door the last notes trailing into silence as the van he climbs into drives away into the night

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

MarcusSA posted:

I don't cry to get my way but when I cry I get my way. Not sure how that happens!

I'm a stress cryer and not in a pretty way. I've found there's no way when blubbering to say "no really it's fine" that sounds like you mean it.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply