Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Whitlam posted:

I actually met with an agent on Monday, because she emailed me to ask if I wanted to come to her office and discuss a property I looked at two months ago. She was 40 minutes late, and when she got there, she told me the seller hadn't budged on price and there were no developments.

I was pretty pissed off so I said to her if the vendor would come down to $640k, maaaaybe I would consider it but I don't even know if I'd get approved for that loan (probably not), and I'd have to talk to my mortgage broker first but she's overseas for a month, and I still think that's too high a price so probably wouldn't be interested even for that amount. Yesterday she emailed me go say the vendor had accepted my offer of $640k .

Turn your law degree into a house

# ? Aug 1, 2019 15:57

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:28

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Real estate agents are so bad. So bad.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:16

SlyFrog: May 16, 2007; What? One name? Who are you, Seal?

I've found that clients just bitch about hourly rate and overall fees. They do not really seem to connect this in any particular way to efficiency. Instead, they basically just bitch and want a 10-15% discount. Admittedly, I worked more directly with CEOs and CFOs, and less with in-house counsel (who I think are smarter about what time things should take).

I genuinely think that most clients wouldn't notice in the slightest if you just inflated your hours by 20%, so long as you gave them a 10% discount that you told them about. They're about as bright as people shopping at Kohls, who go nuts over a 25% off coupon for a product that is priced 75% higher than it should be.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:13

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Lmao if you are only getting 25% off at kohl�s

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:14

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

I really don't like shopping at Kohl's or JcPennys specifically because I hate their method of pricing where nothing is ever sold for the price listed and they think I'm too stupid to realize that I'm not actually getting a deal just because they tell me it's 30% off or something.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:16

Look Sir Droids: Jan 27, 2015; The tracks go off in this direction.

I don't think I'm getting a deal, but I do realize I'm paying around market price for the clothes. Sure the discount is like a health insurance "discount", but wherever I go I'm paying around $30-40 for decent pants. Also,

euphronius posted:

Lmao if you are only getting 25% off at kohl�s

Look Sir Droids fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Aug 1, 2019

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:24

SlyFrog: May 16, 2007; What? One name? Who are you, Seal?

euphronius posted:

Lmao if you are only getting 25% off at kohl�s

I mean, I don't shop at Kohls, but this is kind of like George Bush Sr. trying to explain the cost of a gallon of milk. I have to approximate these things, because I don't really know the details.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:36

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

You should get at least 50% off at the rack and then another 30% off the top plus you get kohl�s cash.

This doesn�t work for things like Levi�s or Nike but will for office wear like dockers and arrow shirts etc

If you have to wear nice clothes to work I guess you aren�t going to kohl�s. I don�t have to wear nice clothes.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 18:49

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

We�ve done it. This thread�s most basic derail.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 19:54

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster are delicious

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:01

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

You loving plebs make me ashamed to be a working class schmoe. Have some class. For dinner.

I'm woozy.

gently caress I need to cut down on the molecular gastronomy restaurants, wayyy too much wine.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:21

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

sullat posted:

Turn your law degree into a house

Joke's on me, I didn't need a law degree for my job.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:28

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Nice piece of fish posted:

You loving plebs make me ashamed to be a working class schmoe. Have some class. For dinner.

I'm woozy.

gently caress I need to cut down on the molecular gastronomy restaurants, wayyy too much wine.

I thought all the restaurants in scandinavia served like hand-gathered scraps of forest moss

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:31

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I thought all the restaurants in scandinavia served like hand-gathered scraps of forest moss

It's lichen, you Philistine.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:32

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I thought all the restaurants in scandinavia served like hand-gathered scraps of forest moss

They do, which makes me happy to be in Portugal.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:35

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I thought all the restaurants in scandinavia served like hand-gathered scraps of forest moss

Not true, some serve bark

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:36

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

^^^^common misconception, they actually serve bork

Or in Philistine. Whichever one has the latin codfish.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:36

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

Bark and cloudberries

# ? Aug 2, 2019 01:34

Tokelau All Star: Feb 23, 2008; THE TAXES! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES!

My mother in law works part time at a Kohl's, so after all the sales plus coupons plus discount plus whatever wizardry she gets clothes for pennies. She'll just hand me a stack of pants and be like, "These all cost around eight bucks total."

# ? Aug 2, 2019 03:29

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

Holy poo poo you guys Vermont is loving dooooooope

# ? Aug 2, 2019 04:23

Hoshi: Jan 20, 2013

Toona the Cat posted:

Holy poo poo you guys Vermont is loving dooooooope

Compared to the Midwest sure

# ? Aug 2, 2019 04:29

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

Hoshi posted:

Compared to the Midwest sure

I just mean this guy here has awesome weed

# ? Aug 2, 2019 04:55

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

Toona the Cat posted:

I just mean this guy here has awesome weed

Hoshi posted:

Compared to the Midwest sure

# ? Aug 2, 2019 05:01

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

the director of my theater group is a gay former opera singer who grew up in Beverly hills. he will talk about his shopping experiences and I just nod and try not to cry.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 12:51

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

ActusRhesus posted:

the director of my theater group is a gay former opera singer who grew up in Beverly hills. he will talk about his shopping experiences and I just nod and try not to cry.

Admit you liked Under the Skin

# ? Aug 2, 2019 13:59

dpkg chopra: Jun 9, 2007; Fast Food Fight; Grimey Drawer

I don't understand why Simpsons Reference hasn't posted the saga of his extremely BWM employer here, but it's amazing:

Simpsons Reference posted:

I think this counts as bad with money, but at the small law office I've been working at, we've desperately needed to get a business line of credit going to keep our available working capital consistent. I've been thrilled at the idea of not having to maneuver things around and cross my fingers that we meet payroll anymore.

With this new available capital, the owner has asked me to draw the entire thing and buy a CD with it. Yeah.

Aside from being not even sure if I can do that, I'm trying to understand his logic. He doesn't care about paying interest. He wants to, I guess, build up his borrowing history, and that at least we'll have money in hand, or something. This does not address our working capital.

Simpsons Reference posted:

They want a 3 month, so borrowing at 5.45%, earning .75%

Simpsons Reference posted:

For as long as I work here, I'll have stories. I'm not the world's best accountant, but good lord is he operating inefficiently.

Income is going down year to year, expenses going up.

Income down 9.3%, salaries up 34%

Salaries alone are 49% of gross profit.

Boss, we can barely meet payroll and overdraw our accounts all the time. What should we do about it? Hire another person at 45k a year? You got it.

Simpsons Reference posted:

In the further adventures of making it really loving difficult to do my job, he's told me that I am only allowed to transfer money between accounts via a check signed by him. We've had to do that since I got here in March, which is a pain in the rear end because he's only here half the time. But we recently got a commercial banking account which gave me more control. It's been a revelation for balancing the working capital.

After having it easy for about a week and a half, he brought me in his office and told me to cut it out. We have to make a check, have him sign it, and go deposit it in the bank.

And the best for last:

Simpsons Reference posted:

Alright, so the attorney has ordered me to deposit all of our income going forward in to what is known as an IOLTA account. Basically, when we accept payments for application filing fees or retainers, it's supposed to go in to a collective client trust account until it's earned. A real accountant or maybe even an attorney can give a better explanation. We were already using it, so it's a real thing, but now our cash deposits have to go in too.

Anyway, he has it in his head that apparently, if we deposit all of our income in to that account and don't take any out/use our LOC to pay for everything, he won't have to pay any taxes. I tried to explain the phrases income, expenses, net income, and tax liability, but he wasn't having any of it and just wants to not pay taxes. I have a feeling he's going to be disappointed and decide it's bad accounting.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:13

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Sounds about right for a lawyer's understanding of accounting and business managment.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:32

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Jesus christ :lol:

Also, I can�t find the news, but apparently at least some places in florida are bumping their prosecutors and pds up to a minimum of $50k/year.

Apparently some judges have clerk vacancies they cannot fill because of low salary plus class rank/grade requirements. I guess some appellate judges are having to do all their own research and writing.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:35

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

Mr. Nice! posted:

Jesus christ

Also, I can�t find the news, but apparently at least some places in florida are bumping their prosecutors and pds up to a minimum of $50k/year.

Apparently some judges have clerk vacancies they cannot fill because of low salary plus class rank/grade requirements. I guess some appellate judges are having to do all their own research and writing.

There's some poetic justice that as the traditional pipelines to these positions (the in-state public law schools) get less and less funding, the state will have to spend more on salary anyway to get people into the jobs they used to be able to afford.

Also, does Florida do local cost of living? Because gently caress being a prosecutor or PD in Miami-Dade making less than $50k.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:39

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

And the best for last:

I was just waiting for the IOLTA account mismanagement and then WHAM that was not an angle I was expecting, normally the problem is people taking money *out* of the IOLTA account

I don't know about other states but in mine that kind of shenanigans would be just asking the state bar ethics prosecutors to just hang a sword over your head, dangling

Mr. Nice! posted:

Also, I can’t find the news, but apparently at least some places in florida are bumping their prosecutors and pds up to a minimum of $50k/year.

Apparently some judges have clerk vacancies they cannot fill because of low salary plus class rank/grade requirements. I guess some appellate judges are having to do all their own research and writing.

Yeah, my county (not Florida) recently established pay parity for public defenders and prosecutors. Long story short, I'm starting a new job as a PD in early September (yay)

This seems to be an issue where there's finally a broad national push and shift happening. I'm gonna thank Black Lives Matter and DNA testing.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:46

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Pook Good Mook posted:

There's some poetic justice that as the traditional pipelines to these positions (the in-state public law schools) get less and less funding, the state will have to spend more on salary anyway to get people into the jobs they used to be able to afford.

Also, does Florida do local cost of living? Because gently caress being a prosecutor or PD in Miami-Dade making less than $50k.

No locality increase. ASAs/APDs in miami as of the last i looked a few months ago were still starting in the 39-42k range.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:11

Kimsemus: Dec 4, 2013; by Reene; Toilet Rascal

Mr. Nice! posted:

No locality increase. ASAs/APDs in miami as of the last i looked a few months ago were still starting in the 39-42k range.

That's poverty line in most of miami though! Sad state of affairs when you could make more managing a Best Buy in Dade County than working in a position requiring a terminal degree.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:23

dpkg chopra: Jun 9, 2007; Fast Food Fight; Grimey Drawer

It's a terminal degree in the sense that it's gonna kill you.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:25

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Assistant PDs and DAs have been successfully organizing in PA.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:29

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

"Give it to me straight, doc. How's my degree looking?"

"Well, it's not good. I'm afraid it's... terminal. It'll start with a massive tuition fees, which will cause you to turn your house into a law degree, sleep with a study buddy and get divorced. I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:35

Look Sir Droids: Jan 27, 2015; The tracks go off in this direction.

euphronius posted:

Assistant PDs and DAs have been successfully organizing in PA.

lol if they tried in Florida.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:41

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

Nice piece of fish posted:

"Give it to me straight, doc. How's my degree looking?"

"Well, it's not good. I'm afraid it's... terminal. It'll start with a massive tuition fees, which will cause you to turn your house into a law degree, sleep with a study buddy and get divorced. I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."

Put this poo poo into the OP this instant.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 16:34

Hoshi: Jan 20, 2013

Nice piece of fish posted:

"Give it to me straight, doc. How's my degree looking?"

"Well, it's not good. I'm afraid it's... terminal. It'll start with a massive tuition fees, which will cause you to turn your house into a law degree, sleep with a study buddy and get divorced. I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."

Getting Toona'd: worse than getting catfished?

# ? Aug 2, 2019 17:48

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

euphronius posted:

Assistant PDs and DAs have been successfully organizing in PA.

Successful in organizing, but considering there is a no-strike/no-slowdown clause in the CBA, it�s absolutely toothless. Starting pay still is comically bad.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 18:28

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:28

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Toona the Cat posted:

Successful in organizing, but considering there is a no-strike/no-slowdown clause in the CBA, it�s absolutely toothless. Starting pay still is comically bad.

Christ. The right to strike is completely fundamental to the bargaining power of any collection of employees. That is completely hosed up and you need a general strike until such clauses are universally unlawful.

Oh yeah and full communism now.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 19:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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