(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Sanguinary Novel posted:So I started using the CBD oil and it's really early yet, but it seems to be helping! It'll take a little longer to get a clearer picture and sort out what is a placebo effect, but I managed to draw something tonight and not explode into tears. The best I can explain it is that the CBD throws a blanket over it. You still have to deal with the problems underneath, but it puts a little distance between and blunts(hah) the sharp edges. Like having a cup to help you take a spider outdoors, instead of wrangling it with your hands; less likely to bite you and quicker/easier to deal with. I started using CBD oil a few days ago to help me sleep and it seems to work pretty well for me too. It takes the edge off at night
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Aug 2, 2019 14:41
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Sanguinary Novel posted:So I started using the CBD oil and it's really early yet, but it seems to be helping! [...] The best I can explain it is that the CBD throws a blanket over it. You still have to deal with the problems underneath, but it puts a little distance between and blunts(hah) the sharp edges awesome stuff, that is exactly how certain medications work for some people (myself included): "blunting" sensitivity is a good thing when it frequently overwhelms you to the point of It Is Just Too Much, and is a very good thing to perceive that as figuring out a balance rather than "Oh no I am losing my emotions" (which is very untrue)
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Aug 2, 2019 14:49
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:Tcg player got back to me, interview at 10 AM Wednesday congrats dude. making it to the in person interview where you can make an actual impression on the folks doing the hiring is like the biggest job hunting hurdle. I imagine it’ll be easy for you with your existing knowledge, all you can really do is try to learn as much about the way they work beforehand to put together some good questions. I’m pretty sure my current job is because I was attentive during the interviews and came prepared with detailed information about our program and procedures. also my date last night went great, she kissed me and invited me up to her apartment but I had been at work all day and was gross so I didn’t, but we’re gonna spend the day together on Monday. I’ve mentioned how lonely I’ve been lately itt before and it’s nice to have someone to talk to like we have been the past week or so. I’m really hoping it wasn’t just a fluke and she remains interested. she’s like really cute, is totally onboard with ACAB and cspam style politics, works at a head shop summers and teaches theater at my old high school during the year, and is basically like just extremely cool and someone I would want to be friends with either way but she actually seems to have a reciprocal romantic interest in me I had almost forgotten what it was like to be in a good mood that wasn’t just on account of being super baked or like beating a boss in dark souls. it’s cool
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Aug 2, 2019 14:52
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I finally have a CPAP machine to fight off my sleep apnea, and I definitely have more energy now after using it for a week or so. Unfortunately my brain problems also have more energy, and my intrusive thoughts are getting more creative. It used to be a standard litany of "you are filth and no one likes you" that I knew how to challenge in a healthy way. Then last night I sit down and start to relax and my brain goes "Hey Hey If somebody wrapped you up in a heavy blanket and threw you in a lake do you think you'd be able to survive and escape What would that feel like, do you think" Which is certainly new and interesting 
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Aug 2, 2019 14:53
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Goon Danton posted:I finally have a CPAP machine to fight off my sleep apnea, and I definitely have more energy now after using it for a week or so. Unfortunately my brain problems also have more energy, and my intrusive thoughts are getting more creative. It used to be a standard litany of "you are filth and no one likes you" that I knew how to challenge in a healthy way. Then last night I sit down and start to relax and my brain goes I suppose that’s less disturbing than just berating yourself, but is it possible if you like, take a melatonin or read for awhile before bed, to get to sleep faster / thinking about something cheerful instead of terrifying? that sucks to hear dude, it’s amazing how solving one problem can just make others feel more obvious
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Aug 2, 2019 14:56
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Oh that was in the afternoon when I got home from work, lol
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Aug 2, 2019 15:59
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Frog Act posted:congrats dude. making it to the in person interview where you can make an actual impression on the folks doing the hiring is like the biggest job hunting hurdle. I imagine it’ll be easy for you with your existing knowledge, all you can really do is try to learn as much about the way they work beforehand to put together some good questions. I’m pretty sure my current job is because I was attentive during the interviews and came prepared with detailed information about our program and procedures. Nice dude - dating is the Dark Souls of life
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Aug 2, 2019 16:12
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turn off the TV posted:can anyone with depersonslization describe what it's like to jo must be weird af but maybe cool tho not really. Imagine watching a TV of your life except you aren't fully there to watch it, the TV is just kind of on and the POV is going through the motions
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Aug 2, 2019 16:34
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Goon Danton posted:I finally have a CPAP machine to fight off my sleep apnea, and I definitely have more energy now after using it for a week or so. Unfortunately my brain problems also have more energy, and my intrusive thoughts are getting more creative. It used to be a standard litany of "you are filth and no one likes you" that I knew how to challenge in a healthy way. Then last night I sit down and start to relax and my brain goes sup CPAP buddy (except I have an APAP  )it's not all bad, once the chronic fatigue settles down you can see what was rampaging through your brain causing a bunch of problems and finally (try to?) DO SOMETHING about it
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Aug 2, 2019 16:35
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Oh I already know what the rampaging is, I got diagnosed with PTSD last month. I'm making progress in several directions, but their effects on each other are just weird sometimes.
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Aug 2, 2019 16:42
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Pablo Nergigante posted:Nice dude - dating is the Dark Souls of life lmao
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Aug 2, 2019 16:42
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Frog Act posted:congrats dude. making it to the in person interview where you can make an actual impression on the folks doing the hiring is like the biggest job hunting hurdle. I imagine it’ll be easy for you with your existing knowledge, all you can really do is try to learn as much about the way they work beforehand to put together some good questions. I’m pretty sure my current job is because I was attentive during the interviews and came prepared with detailed information about our program and procedures. your friend sounds pretty kick rear end. congrats on what sounds like a pretty successful first date
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Aug 2, 2019 17:15
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Ugato posted:your friend sounds pretty kick rear end. congrats on what sounds like a pretty successful first date thanks dude. she totally is, its unbelievable, been trading blackadder quotes and texting all day, i'm kind of smitten. she wakes up later than me and i was slightly concerned i might get ghosted again but then she texted me a picture of some honey buns with "you dropped your name tag" and it hella improved my mood. i'm a decent conversationalist but i like never run into people with whom I can just talk for long periods of time and actually dig it. i'm trying not to just use this thread as a lame rear end blog or anything but i like the posters in here and i was a complete depressive mess when it first went up, so i'm trying to post some good things when they happen. i know i like it when i see fellow brain hosed goons in here have a positive post to make so just doin my part
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Aug 2, 2019 19:16
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Leaving for work today I get an email from the place I'm interviewing saying we've moved on in the selection process and you weren't picked And my heart fuckin stopped It was for another position I applied for three seconds before this one lmao
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Aug 2, 2019 20:02
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i know that feeling searching for a job is loving horrifying. constantly getting shot down and second guessing my education. self worth at an all-time low
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Aug 2, 2019 20:34
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To be clear, I was getting turned down for another entry level spot at the company, and not the one I had just accepted an interview for It's just really funnt because of the timing
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Aug 2, 2019 20:51
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Frog Act posted:i'm trying not to just use this thread as a lame rear end blog or anything but i like the posters in here and i was a complete depressive mess when it first went up, so i'm trying to post some good things when they happen. i know i like it when i see fellow brain hosed goons in here have a positive post to make so just doin my part positive posts are good. we're all gonna have issues along the way, but seeing the peaks as well as the valleys really helps.
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Aug 2, 2019 22:28
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I think if the blanket was just rolled up, not tied with something, you could get free if you didn't panic. You could be mindful of which way it's wound and try to wiggle around the other direction to loosen it, then swim away.
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Aug 2, 2019 22:58
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redsniper posted:I think if the blanket was just rolled up, not tied with something, you could get free if you didn't panic. You could be mindful of which way it's wound and try to wiggle around the other direction to loosen it, then swim away. avoiding panic is like the #1 first step in any survival situation and it is also the hardest to get right which is why military and survival training do so many repetitive drills, to make the process as rote as possible so you do not have to think
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Aug 3, 2019 05:02
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crosspost from the FDRUMP thread: My cats go absolutely batshit over these things, so I'm going to get some dowel rods from Michael's and see if I can cobble together a working wand. If so I may have something I can actually sell on Etsy 
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Aug 3, 2019 05:11
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so i did some heavy duty EMDR work today on one of my traumas and whoa boy that took everything i had. I am exhausted beyond belief like i ran a marathon.
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Aug 3, 2019 05:46
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Zyla posted:so i did some heavy duty EMDR work today on one of my traumas and whoa boy that took everything i had. I am exhausted beyond belief like i ran a marathon. take care of yourself friend,
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Aug 3, 2019 05:48
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Regards my real raging drug addiction, I broke my cafetiere and had the choice of instant (yuck) or digging out the stovetop espresso pot. Went for the latter and the upside is (besides a great taste) even after half a cup I feel like I necked a bunch of ADHD meds, unfortunately my gut feels like a hot angry snake is smashing through it and I literally have the shakes a bit
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Aug 3, 2019 07:33
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hi cspam. I’m really sad.  I need to go back to seeing a therapist and taking my meds regularly but it’s so hard to motivate myself.
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Aug 3, 2019 09:38
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I'm running a 5k race this morning. Wish me luck goons
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Aug 3, 2019 10:36
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Lightning Knight posted:hi cspam. I’m really sad. Start with what's easiest. Do you have your meds but aren't taking them? Try tying them in with something you already do every day, like taking them with a meal or right before you brush your teeth. Hopefully the meds will help stabilize things to where looking for a therapist becomes easier.
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Aug 3, 2019 11:33
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Goon Danton posted:Start with what's easiest. Do you have your meds but aren't taking them? Try tying them in with something you already do every day, like taking them with a meal or right before you brush your teeth. Hopefully the meds will help stabilize things to where looking for a therapist becomes easier. I do have them and have been taking them sporadically. I have a job right now that requires me to switch shifts and have a chaotic schedule so taking them at the same time every day is effectively impossible, on top of my bad schedule-ness. Also I moved across the country which is why I need a new therapist. I just want to go home and sleep for 3 days but right now I’m going on day 6 in a row of work with no end in sight because I have to cover for my coworker due to a family death.
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Aug 3, 2019 12:02
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I suck, there was somethijg planned by this association i go to today and i didnt go, this kimd of poo poo sucks
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Aug 3, 2019 13:09
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I really need a new therapist
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Aug 3, 2019 13:09
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finally had the time and emotional head space to watch the new Ollie Thorn video and i'm utterly astounded. as someone with PTSD who survived a traumatic childhood, it was incredible to watch someone reflect even just a modicum of your experiences. Ollie is a loving treasure https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeGEv0YVLtw If you're a dude and survived some poo poo, and haven't figured out how to deal, or even if you have, this video will utterly run you through in the best way, but warning because it's intense.
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Aug 3, 2019 13:30
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That video absolutely wrecked me. It's so very good, but that first part where he's still in the Superman shirt brought up a lot of memories and feelings.
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Aug 3, 2019 15:20
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Lightning Knight posted:I do have them and have been taking them sporadically. I have a job right now that requires me to switch shifts and have a chaotic schedule so taking them at the same time every day is effectively impossible, on top of my bad schedule-ness. I had a friend with this problem and her birth control. she’d set a hard alarm and carry it with her so she could take it whenever it went off. if you can slip away to the bathroom for a few minutes with a bottle of water or something and take it then, you’ll be able to get into a rhythm. in theory take meds though all day erry day, meds are good
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Aug 3, 2019 16:49
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Hey y'all. Been reading this thread for a while. It's good seeing folks back each other up against our brains being dumbasses. I'm an anxiety sufferer myself. From what we can tell it's comorbid with me being on the spectrum, which I literally didn't have any official diagnosis of until about three or four years ago. (I'm 36 now.) I've had to hit urgent care a couple of times for it; once when I first started in my Ph.D program, and the other during 2016 GEE I WONDER WHY. Thankfully, I don't have depression to go with it. Or, as I stated during my second Urgent Care visit: Doctor: Do you have suicidal ideation? Me: No, I don't WANT to die, I'm AFRAID of dying. I don't know if this will help others much, but for me whenever I get panicked about bad things happening -- which happens a lot if you read SA, welp -- I've started deliberately seeking out what they call "constructive news." I've seen some links to similar here and in the Happy News thread, but I don't think I've seen it addressed specifically by that name. Basically, it's not "huffing our own farts news," but rather just news that reminds us that hey, all that lovely stuff we hear about? People actually ARE doing things about it. It's remarkably helpful, especially since we focus so much on the obstructionist assholes in the mainstream media. A few sources I've used or started using: Positive.news - supposedly the Ur-Constructive News site Yes! Magazine - Maybe not QUITE as good (it's a bit "liberal") but still handy. Again, I don't know if this helps, but there has apparently been evidence that balancing out all the media bullshit with actual solutions-based news can help with some of those niggling doom and gloom feelings. Works for me, at least. Anyway, just thought I'd try to contribute a little for y'all. Hope everybody has a good evening.
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Aug 3, 2019 22:39
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Dragomorph posted:Positive.news - supposedly the Ur-Constructive News site That was a really good post not gonna lie I’m gonna take a look at these after the movie and decide if I need to add to the op. thanks!
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Aug 3, 2019 23:09
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whoops I'm an idiot with bad opinions and should't share them even if i'm trying to help fellow brain problem havers
Zeriel has issued a correction as of 00:06 on Aug 4, 2019 |
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Aug 3, 2019 23:16
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Zeriel posted:APNews is about the least lovely source of news. It's as close to real journalism that exists in this year of our lol 2019. but no
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Aug 3, 2019 23:25
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so today in therapy I learned that I expend what little energy I have physically into useless tasks and distractions to avoid facing the trauma in my pas. that’s why I have agoraphobia, I’m literally out of emotional energy and am withdrawing to try to heal which isn’t working bc, you know, past trauma lol mental illness loooool
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Aug 4, 2019 04:50
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Dragomorph posted:
I would elaborate on this awesome protip by actually tuning off from news in general and let "the world" in general inform you, at least for a long interval, like 4-6 weeks and see how it goes yes, that includes twitter, ESPECIALLY twitter (IMO, not having facebook anymore and cutting news has probably gave me a lot more of a fighting condition because I couldn't condition my thinking through reactive processes - I am thinking about cutting instagram 100% too, but I am still pondering if its worth it)
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Aug 4, 2019 04:54
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Chokes McGee posted:so today in therapy I learned that I expend what little energy I have physically into useless tasks and distractions to avoid facing the trauma in my pas. that’s why I have agoraphobia, I’m literally out of emotional energy and am withdrawing to try to heal which isn’t working bc, you know, past trauma you mean that is troublesome for you to, like, "oh no I am feeling bad, but I don't want to, I am going to do something!" to avoid emotional digestion? hell yeah bro, totes understand that
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Aug 4, 2019 04:58
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dead gay comedy forums posted:you mean that is troublesome for you to, like, "oh no I am feeling bad, but I don't want to, I am going to do something!" to avoid emotional digestion? yes and then follow it with “I don’t seem to have the energy to do anything and now I feel bad because of it” eesh
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Aug 4, 2019 05:00
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