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Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

pile of brown posted:

Too late now but to avoid that in the future salt and drain your cukes before adding your dressing

I salted them and let them sit for about 40 minutes. It was on the cutting board though so there definitely wasn't much draining going on.

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mike12345
Jul 14, 2008

"Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."





Is there a consensus on what's the best oil to use for making Schnitzel?

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

mike12345 posted:

Is there a consensus on what's the best oil to use for making Schnitzel?

I'd assume the answer, like always, is tallow.

Kaiser Schnitzel
Mar 29, 2006

Schnitzel mit uns


mike12345 posted:

Is there a consensus on what's the best oil to use for making Schnitzel?
I pan fry mine in butter/oil. If you’re deep frying them I would think any fry oil (soybean, peanut, canola, etc) would be fine. A trick I learned somewhere is to put some heavy cream in with the eggs you dredge it in-it seems to help the coating stick better than milk.

Also yeah, tallow or lard would be delicious, obviously.

mike12345
Jul 14, 2008

"Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."





I've made it with clarified butter the last couple of times, and while that's very tasty, the "problem" is that it brings it's own flavour to the Schnitzel, which some people dislike. Some chefs swear by it, so I was curious what everyone else does. But yeah, lard works and usually I just do it with vegetable oil. Interesting trick with the heavy cream.

Calypso
Sep 28, 2001

Grimey Drawer

Resting Lich Face posted:

I salted them and let them sit for about 40 minutes. It was on the cutting board though so there definitely wasn't much draining going on.

I put my sliced cukes in a colander, salt them, then rinse after 30 minutes. Then I dry them off on paper towels.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


mike12345 posted:

Is there a consensus on what's the best oil to use for making Schnitzel?

Lard is traditional; I’ve tried a few different fats and I think a combination of butter and a tiny bit of regular vegetable oil is the best, although ghee would work very nicely.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003
SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>
Freestanding natural gas grills with a 800-1100 dollar budget? What would y'all suggest?

Kaiser Schnitzel
Mar 29, 2006

Schnitzel mit uns


I have a big block of good mature cheddar and want to use it with some potatoes for a gratin with steak. Any suggestions?

Could I just sub it for the swiss cheese in Dauphinois potatoes or would it be too strong a flavor?

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

Herstory Begins Now posted:

Freestanding natural gas grills with a 800-1100 dollar budget? What would y'all suggest?

not spending 800 bucks on a gas grill lmao

Lawnie
Sep 6, 2006

That is my helmet
Give it back
you are a lion
It doesn't even fit
Grimey Drawer

BraveUlysses posted:

not spending 800 bucks on a gas grill lmao

It better be enormous and 1/4 inch thick steel all over.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003
SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>
I just want something that will last 5-10 years and let me cook meat outside and not have to gently caress with charcoal or pellets or wood before cooking. Like I have very little time and energy to spare so I care more about the ability to get a lot of food cooked decently and quickly than making sure every piece of beef has the optimal smokiness. I want a smoker too (or will probably end up making one), but that's farther down the road.

Lawnie posted:

It better be enormous and 1/4 inch thick steel all over.

all the good ones suck your dick too so it's actually not a bad deal tbqh

Herstory Begins Now fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Aug 16, 2019

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



Circumstances conspired to make me buy a couple of frozen pizzas. In an effort to make them more palatable, I also bought some "Pizzarella", which a "processed cheese product" made with vegetable oil and milk protein.

The loving thing absolutely refuses to melt in the oven. I'm definitely not using it on any other pizzas, frozen or homemade. But it came in a pretty huge bag, and I hate throwing out food.

Anything I can make with a terrible cheese substitute that wouldn't instantly kill me?

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Herstory Begins Now posted:

I just want something that will last 5-10 years and let me cook meat outside and not have to gently caress with charcoal or pellets or wood before cooking. Like I have very little time and energy to spare so I care more about the ability to get a lot of food cooked decently and quickly than making sure every piece of beef has the optimal smokiness. I want a smoker too (or will probably end up making one), but that's farther down the road.


all the good ones suck your dick too so it's actually not a bad deal tbqh

Look for something that protects the piping from flare ups. A gas grill will ultimately have to be maintained to last even five years regardless. Maybe replacing all the guts at that point. A charcoal chimney is easy and takes about as long as preheating a gas grill imho and a Webber kettle is indestructible.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

A charcoal chimney is easy and takes about as long as preheating a gas grill imho



I do the Weber and charcoal chimney route, and I like it, charcoal rocks. But you can NOT beat the convenience of just turning a knob.


EDIT: I've been using these things, I like them. I don't get newspapers anymore, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend money on buying paper.

Squashy Nipples fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Aug 16, 2019

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Until you have to deal with hot spots after a year or two.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003
SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

Squashy Nipples posted:

I do the Weber and charcoal chimney route, and I like it, charcoal rocks. But you can NOT beat the convenience of just turning a knob.


EDIT: I've been using these things, I like them. I don't get newspapers anymore, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend money on buying paper.



Yeah I've used a lot of chimneys and they're great, though tbh it's even easier still to just use a plugin heating element. I also dislike any accelerants because the flavor of lighter fluid etc always seems to come through. Finding some alcohol based accelerant gel might work because at least that poo poo is truly flavourless.

I cook 10 to 15lbs of meat a week and have every single week for over a decade at this point, this is pretty much entirely just about convenience in preparing a stable to me. You can make meat taste amazing on any heat source, though I can't deny that chicken cooked over charcoal is inimitably good and one of the single best smells on this planet.

I've got a covered area to put a grill, but putting a charcoal grill there would smoke stain the poo poo out of the roof/siding around it

Herstory Begins Now fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Aug 16, 2019

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


If I were to buy a gas "grill" it'd be something like this: https://slickdeals.net/f/13315615-cuisinart-360-griddle-cooking-center-115-115-64#commentsBox

However I have the pizza steel for the webber that I just use as a griddle.

Lawnie
Sep 6, 2006

That is my helmet
Give it back
you are a lion
It doesn't even fit
Grimey Drawer
I wonder if my homemade fire starters from dryer lint, an egg carton, and old candle wax burn hot/long enough to get a big chimney going. I’ll try this weekend and report back.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Lawnie posted:

I wonder if my homemade fire starters from dryer lint

Enjoy your pube-smoked ribs

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Xander77 posted:

Circumstances conspired to make me buy a couple of frozen pizzas. In an effort to make them more palatable, I also bought some "Pizzarella", which a "processed cheese product" made with vegetable oil and milk protein.

The loving thing absolutely refuses to melt in the oven. I'm definitely not using it on any other pizzas, frozen or homemade. But it came in a pretty huge bag, and I hate throwing out food.

Anything I can make with a terrible cheese substitute that wouldn't instantly kill me?

Was it this stuff? https://holycowcheeseblog.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/what-exactly-is-pizzarella/

Sprinkle it on salads. Top tomato soup with it. Bury it

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

Bluedeanie posted:

Enjoy your pube-smoked ribs

Holy gently caress

captkirk
Feb 5, 2010
Any recommendations for making bacon-wrapped smokies a little more interesting? I've make them for family gatherings when I'm feeling too lazy to do something more interesting and normally just grab smokies, slice bacon into thirds, wrap each smokey in bacon and then sprinkle it all with brown sugar and cook it the oven until the bacon is done.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

captkirk posted:

Any recommendations for making bacon-wrapped smokies a little more interesting? I've make them for family gatherings when I'm feeling too lazy to do something more interesting and normally just grab smokies, slice bacon into thirds, wrap each smokey in bacon and then sprinkle it all with brown sugar and cook it the oven until the bacon is done.

Stuff jalapenos with cheese, wrap with bacon, and grill. I mean if you reaaaaaalllly wanna use lil Smokies without grape jam then I guess you could stuff them in the jalapenos.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008

Pillbug

captkirk posted:

Any recommendations for making bacon-wrapped smokies a little more interesting? I've make them for family gatherings when I'm feeling too lazy to do something more interesting and normally just grab smokies, slice bacon into thirds, wrap each smokey in bacon and then sprinkle it all with brown sugar and cook it the oven until the bacon is done.

That's a blank canvas my dude.

Tuck a slice of pickled or fresh jalapeno under the bacon, maybe some american cheese

Sprinkle the bacon with interesting seasonings like bbq rub, jerk seasoning, hell, curry powders might be delicious, just stick to stuff with low/no salt

Glaze them with with your sauce of choice after they're done and stick them back in the oven for 2 minutes to get sticky. BBQ sauce is the obvious choice, but you can mix some mustard in, or again do some jerk marinade. The sky's the limit with Lil' Smokies!

poo poo, get weird and switch up the TYPE of cured pork you wrap around. Do some prosciuttio, hot calabrese, bressaola.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002
Have you tried moinks?

Wrap frozen meatballs with bacon (don't use thick cut), sprinkle with rub, cook on grill or smoker (indirect if possible), apply one or two coats of bbq sauce near the end of cooking.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003
SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

Bluedeanie posted:

Enjoy your pube-smoked ribs

i know a lot of people prefer a milder wood, like apple or alder for smoked fish, but this guy prefers the timeless classic of pubes and polyester fiber and parafen

Sandtrout Catsuit
Feb 15, 2008

They were all over his body now. He could feel the pulse of his blood against the living membrane.
I'm going to Hawaii and staying in a condo with a kitchen. What should I cook?

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






Herstory Begins Now posted:

i know a lot of people prefer a milder wood, like apple or alder for smoked fish, but this guy prefers the timeless classic of pubes and polyester fiber and parafen

Hauki
May 11, 2010


Herstory Begins Now posted:

i know a lot of people prefer a milder wood, like apple or alder for smoked fish, but this guy prefers the timeless classic of pubes and polyester fiber and parafen

who doesn't though, really?

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010


Fallen Rib
Anyone got any recommendations for resources (cookbooks, websites, video series, whatever) on cakes and pastries? I do a lot of desserts, but that's mostly candy (which is significantly different) and pretty foolproof stuff like simple pies and cobblers, and I'd like to start doing stuff that's fancier.

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






DoubleDonut posted:

Anyone got any recommendations for resources (cookbooks, websites, video series, whatever) on cakes and pastries? I do a lot of desserts, but that's mostly candy (which is significantly different) and pretty foolproof stuff like simple pies and cobblers, and I'd like to start doing stuff that's fancier.

Bon Appetit did a cake baking series recently:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-5yLt1gqIo

Lots of useful information in there. Also Claire :swoon:

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010


Fallen Rib

spankmeister posted:

Bon Appetit did a cake baking series recently:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-5yLt1gqIo

Lots of useful information in there. Also Claire :swoon:

I was actually using this before and, annoyingly, no actual recipes are provided! I ended up hacking together something for the chocolate birthday cake which was mostly good - I'm planning to try it again when I get some free time since I think I know what I did wrong.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

I like joy of baking. She has a well laid out website and a video with pretty much every recipe that she'll point out common pitfalls and mistakes that ppl make.

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

Sandtrout Catsuit posted:

I'm going to Hawaii and staying in a condo with a kitchen. What should I cook?

Obviously you need to cook some poi (it’s a starchy dish made with root vegetables). I only know that it’s a traditional Hawaiian food, no idea if it’s any good :shrug:

They might have some good fruit too, there’s some fruit production on some of the islands. When I visited it was rambutans and papaya.

Spam musubi is also a stereotypical Hawaiian food. More or less like spam sushi, so it should be easy enough to cook.

Then maybe like fish? You’ll have to do some research about what’s good, where to get it, and (most importantly) what’s sustainable.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

DoubleDonut posted:

Anyone got any recommendations for resources (cookbooks, websites, video series, whatever) on cakes and pastries? I do a lot of desserts, but that's mostly candy (which is significantly different) and pretty foolproof stuff like simple pies and cobblers, and I'd like to start doing stuff that's fancier.

Stella parks is great and has a bunch of great recipes, videos and articles on serious eats

Sandtrout Catsuit
Feb 15, 2008

They were all over his body now. He could feel the pulse of his blood against the living membrane.

Eeyo posted:

Then maybe like fish? You’ll have to do some research about what’s good, where to get it, and (most importantly) what’s sustainable.

That's what I was hoping for help with. Spam, sushi rice and taro are pretty easy to obtain on the mainland so that's not my focus on this trip.

Anyone have substitution/recipe suggestions for Hawaii-specific fish like Ono and Opah?

Recipe suggestions for lychee, ohi'a 'ai, passion fruit or other tropical fruits (assuming we get tired of eating them raw)?

Anything obscure I should look for?

Tips on cooking with the limited equipment in a rental kitchen?

We're going to Kauai, if it matters.

nwin
Feb 25, 2002

make's u think

Recently moved from Boston to Virginia and I need some help.

In Boston, most of the grocery stores sell shaved steak or shaved rib eye, which I use to make steak and cheese wraps or subs. It’s very thinly sliced steak like they froze it and put it through a deli slicer.

I haven’t been able to find that in Virginia at all. How can I recreate it when I don’t have a deli sliced at home? Even if I freeze a steak I don’t think I can cut it that thin.

Annath
Jan 11, 2009

Batatouille is a great and funny play on words for a video game creature and I love silly words like these
Clever Betty
Most grocery stores sell shaved steak.

You should always be able to find it in the freezer section (look for steak-ums) and some places sell it fresh in the meat department, but that's usually a special or periodic thing, not always available.

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Human Tornada
Mar 4, 2005

I been wantin to see a honkey dance.
Might want to check out Asian groceries, too. Mine sells it frozen in one pound packages.

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