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Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

wait let it get to page 187 then goldmine in the name of suicide awareness

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comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
carol leonnig is the wapo reporter who co-wrote the article about epstein's broken neck bones and also tweeted about epstein saying he was attacked in the first "suicide attempt" and that epstein was also in good spirits

twoday
May 4, 2005



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

gh0stpinballa posted:

develop this please, i am intrigued and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

I will explain the cow. This will take a while.

get ready for some game theory 1/378

LGD
Sep 25, 2004

Pryor on Fire posted:

wait let it get to page 187 then goldmine in the name of suicide awareness

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit
I know I'm slower than most to come around to this but It's weird having absolutely no faith in any of the institutions of government.

Pener Kropoopkin
Jan 30, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

(and can't post for 17 days!)

FizFashizzle posted:

yeah has someone given the medical explanation for why the hyoid shouldn't have been broken yet cause i can if no one has

So far all that's been posted are studies showing the probabilities for it, so knock yourself out.

twoday
May 4, 2005



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

comedyblissoption posted:

the washington post claimed multiple neck bones were broken in addition to the hyoid

https://beta.washingtonpost.com/pol...l?noredirect=on

once again, the insane thing here is that the hyoid is the easiest one to break, and he broke several more (vertabrae?)

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

comedyblissoption posted:

i mean in theory you could wrap sheets around your neck really tight and short and jump off the top of a bunk bed while trying to tuck your legs so you don't touch the ground to try to simulate a hanging gallows and break your neck but lmao @ the logistics of that and not being able to involuntarily touch the ground even if you did break your neck and stop the strangulation

First you take your sheets apart then re-weave the strands into rope

Then, you practice gymnastics until you can do a standing flip

then you tie the rope around your neck and flip yourself up and over making sure the rope CATCHES on the ceiling fixture that doesn't exist and then wham you fall . . .

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_Table_of_Drops

ok so Epstein .. let's say he weighed 175, he'd have had to drop over seven feet to get a neck break

yeah that didn't happen

nishi koichi
Feb 16, 2007

everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.
hi um

from experience (yeah...), you can't loving break several bones in your neck by hanging yourself while on your knees. this isn't a long drop.

the most you can do is cut off air and blood supply until you pass out, and then die, if you're not disturbed. it is also incredibly painful and drawn out.

what loving bedsheet did he supposedly use for this. god, they really think we're idiots, don't they

nishi koichi
Feb 16, 2007

everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.
bald faced liars. they don't care

Impkins Patootie
Apr 20, 2017





I'm going to find Ghislaine Maxwell and I'm going to have her rear end

Calibanibal
Aug 25, 2015


you sicken me. delete this

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
Show the bedsheet cowards

nishi koichi
Feb 16, 2007

everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.

Reality Sinner posted:

Show the bedsheet cowards

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:

bad posts ahead!!! posted:

what loving bedsheet did he supposedly use for this. god, they really think we're idiots, don't they

they don't care what we think, they do care what the media reports and for that all they need is an official story

Duscat
Jan 4, 2009
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/GarbageApe/status/1160562891105492992

when you've got something interesting to confess for once

Johnny Red
Aug 15, 2019
lmao kneeling with force

ahaha what a stupid world we live in

Johnny Red
Aug 15, 2019
epstein knelt extra hard and it snapped his neck like a twig

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Duscat posted:

https://twitter.com/GarbageApe/status/1160562891105492992

when you've got something interesting to confess for once

lmao

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
Noodle necked Epstein, thought of leaning forward and died

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

so method aside was it the sleepy guards who woke up and falsified the reports and only one of them was actually a guard who found him, or these patrolling guards who found him? where the gently caress did they come from?

basically the NYT and every other water carrying outlet is telling you, "we know you know we are helping to smother further questions and dissent, and tomorrow you're going to go to swallow this all and go to work because you can't do a goddamn thing about it"

Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

epstein isn't trending, clintonbodycount isn't trending, trumpbodycount isn't trending

"medical examiner" is though, wayyyy down below "dixie chicks" with 1/10th as many tweets

So close twitter, you almost locked it down completely! Need to be a bit faster next time

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
i mean it could be the bunkmate who murdered him who left the cell literally hours before epstein died

considering according to the wapo reporter epstein allegedly claimed he was attacked in the first "suicide attempt"

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
Oh poor old Epstein, thought of kneeling and died.

seriously though, you shoulda seen it. head popped off like a champagne cork. geyser of blood. wild poo poo.

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
What the hell are the Dixie chicks up to these days

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001
That cement truck could be used to fill in tunnels and other locations that would have been mapped with GOS enabled devices.

a friend in need
Jul 7, 2018
Even though everyone sees through this it won't matter and nothing will happen. I hate how I'm a JFK-tier conspiracy theorist now and I guess I will be for the rest of my life. Is this what it means to be "red pilled"?

En Garde Motherfuckers
Apr 29, 2009

Hey. Is it just me, or do my balls itch?
Sounds perfectly plausible to me that Epstein could bend his knees with the same force as a pistol shrimps claws. Case Closed, Thanks NYT!

3
Aug 26, 2006

The Magic Number


College Slice
welp wrote a song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD0TeT9a5lQ

download MP3 here

quote:

LYRICS:
A smuggled-in knife, a shot in the head
Perhaps we hang him with his sheets instead
We'll get the guards to go to sleep, wipe the camera database
You and I, leave no trace

A shot in the head, a smuggled-in knife
Just need to make them think it's suicide
We'll make sure Epstein never tells
In his Manhattan prison cell

Things are okay with me these days
Got a good job, got a good office
Got a new wife, got a new life
And Ivanka is fine
Lost touch long ago
You lost weight, I did not know
You could ever look so nice
After so much time

You remember those days hanging out up in Epstein's plane?
Underage girls, Kevin Spacey, and David Blaine
Oh, you do a line off her rear end in the temple at lil' St. James
Cold beer, hot lights, my sweet romantic teenage flights

Maxwell and Epstein were the popular steadies
And the king and the queen of St. James
Flying around with their girls inbound
And a book filled with names
Nobody looked any finer
Or was better than them at kidnapping minors
We never knew we could want more than that out of life
Surely Maxwell and Epstein would always know how to survive

Maxwell and Epstein were still going steady
In the summer of 2005
When he was indicted for trafficking kids
At the end of July
Everyone said they were guilty
The FBI knew that their hands were filthy
And Epstein could never afford to pay off all those guys
Oh but there we were granting immunity for his crimes

Well, they had a jetliner for all those minors
And a couple of billionaires
A big private island where they'd laugh and they'd smile and
Have orgies with everyone there
And he didn't confess when they had him arrested
But some powerful people got scared

Yeah, rock and roll!

Well, they lived for a while in a very nice style
But it's always the same in the end
The courts got him off because of Acosta
And a few of his CIA friends
Then the king and the queen went back to Palm Beach
But you can never go back there again

Maxwell and Epstein had had it already
By the summer of 2019
When the cops brought him down
To that prison downtown
Cuz' he was smuggling teens
They got his black book of addresses
The rich men inside didn't want him confessin'
And we always knew we would both have to make sure he died

That's all I heard about Maxwell and Epstein
Can't tell you more 'cause I told you already
And here we are waving Maxwell and Epstein goodbye

Kill him in bed, doin' it right
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight
We'll give ol' Jeff his last farewell
In his Manhattan prison cell

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
remember when the dixie chicks got shunned and blacklisted for being against the iraq war

and now npr is going on endlessly and endlessly about how country radio doesnt have enough female representation while neglecting to mention them

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

*extremely access journalism voice*

the rate of hyoid bone fracture is doubled for those who have failed suicide by hanging in the last 3 months

A Big Fuckin Hornet
Nov 1, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

oh my loving god :vince:

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
Very careless of Mr. Epstein to not take his Fosamax that morning

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

💯

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:
reminder

https://twitter.com/LibAnnihilator/status/1162479710514962433

Christoph
Mar 3, 2005
Broke: "Go kill yourself"
Woke: "Go kneel with force"

MeatwadIsGod
Sep 30, 2004

Foretold by Gyromancy
Reading about how Wexner used his various trusts to funnel stocks to Epstein as a form of payment is Exhibit 3955 for why we need a 100% estate tax. Epstein was a trustee in trusts that were nominally for Wexner's children only lol

Christoph
Mar 3, 2005
Jeff had a blackbelt in the art of killing himself

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Johnny Red
Aug 15, 2019
baden didn't do the autopsy, that was Barbara Sampson. Baden was hired by Epstein's people to watch over the examination

https://www.thedailybeast.com/jeffrey-epstein-camp-sends-pathologist-michael-baden-to-watch-over-his-autopsy

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