|
You could also become an artificial reef http://www.nmreef.com
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:23 |
|
|
# ? Jun 3, 2024 22:34 |
Deep sea food fall for me thanks.
|
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:25 |
|
Pyroclastic posted:Instead of burning your fat ugly sack of meat, stick it in a pressure cooker full of lye! It takes about 6 hours and turns you into an alkaline green-brown liquid with bones so brittle they can be crushed by hand. The liquid can then just be flushed into the sewer system, or you could use it as fertilizer. Uses about a quarter of the energy of a cremation. *leaves written instructions and a meat cleaver by the Instant Pot just in case*
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:31 |
|
Just crack my skull open so the birds can eat my brains too and leave me on a mountain, thanks
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:33 |
|
Back to what leads up to corpse disposal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvCQtst6y1U
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:37 |
|
Just put my body in a catapult and chuck it away. Wherever it lands, it lands.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:46 |
|
thats the rules with bodies and catapults
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 04:47 |
|
Pyroclastic posted:No one's mentioned it yet, so I will. Cremation isn't very good for the environment, and unless you're OK with giving nature a gently caress you as your last possible act, there's always Aquamation! Instead of burning your fat ugly sack of meat, stick it in a pressure cooker full of lye! It takes about 6 hours and turns you into an alkaline green-brown liquid with bones so brittle they can be crushed by hand. The liquid can then just be flushed into the sewer system, or you could use it as fertilizer. Uses about a quarter of the energy of a cremation. i feel like dumping a shitload of lye into the sewer system isn't as environmentally friendly as you think
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 06:22 |
|
I want my remains scattered around Disney world. I also don't want to be cremated
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 07:36 |
|
Evilreaver posted:I want my remains scattered around Disney world. You're a page too late. I already did this joke.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 07:40 |
|
Zipperelli. posted:You're a page too late. I already did this joke. Or you're just kindred spirits. You can be scattered over Disney together! Everybody can be scarred for life as two goons worth of giblets are distributed over the park. Days later we'll have articles about all the undocumented workers who died trying to clean you both out of the weirdest places. Those articles will get posted here and it'll be a weird memorial service for both of you. It'll be the gooniest ouroboros in the history of the universe. I'm sorry I have no actual OSHA to contribute.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 07:50 |
|
At least it will bring to light the plight of undocumented workers.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 07:52 |
|
my job would let me spray aerosol mist adhesive straight into my lungs if i so desired, in fact they encourage it
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 07:54 |
|
When I die, suit me up in full Drysuit SCUBA and chuck me out of a plane above a desert. Let future archaelogists figure that one out.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 09:12 |
|
Same but drop my body on a bushfire instead
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 10:42 |
|
The Lone Badger posted:Just put my body in a catapult and chuck it away. Wherever it lands, it lands. Thought this said catsuit on my first glance.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 11:20 |
|
So Math posted:Thought this said catsuit on my first glance. That too.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 11:43 |
|
Put my body into a net sack and hang it from a tree in the winter so birds can peck me for fats and protein.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 11:49 |
|
Getting blown the gently caress up by land mines like someone a few pages back suggested sounds like the best cremation ever.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:05 |
|
Quicksilver6 posted:Getting blown the gently caress up by land mines like someone a few pages back suggested sounds like the best cremation ever. Flip the hearse over the church straight into the grave, like that Pourtuguese fascist. E: doesn't matter if I'm dead.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:22 |
|
goatsestretchgoals posted:i feel like dumping a shitload of lye into the sewer system isn't as environmentally friendly as you think Lye is no problem at all, it falls apart to just sodium and water, both are already in the system in copious amounts. Sure, it's also pretty basic but you would need to add hundreds of thousands of gallons to the system to be even able to measure the change in ph, and even then it's probably easily offset by co2 in the air forming carbonic acids when the water is aerated. Lye is literally drain cleaner, and more of it in the sewer system is actually great because more fats will be turned into soaps and carried along instead of sticking to the sewer walls.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:30 |
|
Jerry Cotton posted:Flip the hearse over the church straight into the grave, like that Pourtuguese fascist. But how would a socialist flip the hearse
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:35 |
|
Quicksilver6 posted:But how would a socialist flip the hearse Dynamite doesn't discriminate.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:37 |
|
Samopsa posted:Lye is literally drain cleaner, and more of it in the sewer system is actually great because more fats will be turned into soaps and carried along instead of sticking to the sewer walls. I read that as rats not fats, please confirm/deny rats will be dissolved if I dump lye on them?
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:41 |
|
If you keep em in solution and crank up the heat /pressure, yeah, all organic matter will dissolve in lye If you really want to quickly remove organic matter you should use some piranha solution though. https://youtu.be/r9mbhZ4eGN8
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 12:48 |
|
If we’re going for the chemicals of Satan (all hail), may as well go the distance for Chlorine Trifluoride. https://youtu.be/dAhiqGZCwNQ Here’s a description by the one of the dangerous chemistry thread’s favorite authors, Derek Lowe (“Sand Won’t Save You This Time”) https://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time A safety bulletin for handling the stuff, referencing a 1-ton spill in the 1950’s (from previous article): http://web.archive.org/web/20060318221608/http://www.airproducts.com/nr/rdonlyres/8479ed55-2170-4651-a3d4-223b2957a9f3/0/safetygram39.pdf John D Clark, writing about the stuff in Ignition!: quote:Chlorine trifluoride, ClF3, or “CTF” as the engineers insist on calling it, is a colorless gas, a greenish liquid, or a white solid. … It is also quite probably the most vigorous fluorinating agent in existence—much more vigorous than fluorine itself. … It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that's the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water—with which it reacts explosively. It can be kept in some of the ordinary structural metals—steel, copper, aluminum, etc.—because the formation of a thin film of insoluble metal fluoride which protects the bulk of the metal, just as the invisible coat of oxide on aluminum keeps it from burning up in the atmosphere. If, however, this coat is melted or scrubbed off, the operator is confronted with the problem of coping with a metal-fluorine fire. For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 13:06 |
|
Memento posted:I want the literal least amount of resources spent on my burial as possible. Row me out into the middle of the bay and push my naked meatsack overboard for the fish to eat. I want the opposite. Let me die the way I lived, a gigantic burden on everyone around me.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 13:14 |
|
I want people to throw my corpse into the lava lake in an active volcano
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 13:48 |
|
General Bullshit › OSHA: ITT elaborate ways goons die (alone at desk excluded)
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 13:52 |
|
Samopsa posted:Lye is no problem at all, it falls apart to just sodium and water, both are already in the system in copious amounts. Sure, it's also pretty basic but you would need to add hundreds of thousands of gallons to the system to be even able to measure the change in ph, and even then it's probably easily offset by co2 in the air forming carbonic acids when the water is aerated. A funeral home disposing of human slurry is probably paying a premium to cover the operations impacts even if it's going in the same sewer pipe.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 14:00 |
|
Memento posted:I want the literal least amount of resources spent on my burial as possible. Row me out into the middle of the bay and push my naked meatsack overboard for the fish to eat. This is my preference as well, luckily I live in MA and there are services in the Boston area that will dump my carcass in the ocean. I just hate the concept of graveyards, they just seem wasteful to me, I have written that this is my preference in my will, but have added that the final decision will go to my next of kin because what the gently caress will I care at that time.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 15:24 |
|
Putting my body in the back of a pickup, backing into someone's yard, and kicking me out takes up way less energy than either of those
Sandwich Anarchist fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Aug 17, 2019 |
# ? Aug 17, 2019 15:29 |
|
Launch my corpse into space on a collision course with Elon Musk's car tia
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:31 |
|
Humphreys posted:General Bullshit › OSHA: ITT elaborate ways goons die (alone at desk excluded) General Bullshit › OSHA: ITT just put my corpse out with Thursday's trash
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:33 |
|
Sandwich Anarchist posted:Putting my body in the back of a pickup, backing into someone's yard, and kicking me out takes up way less energy than either of those A refined version: a guy wearing a CRT television set as a helmet carries a 38" Sony Trinitron onto someone's front step and leaves it there. Hidden inside is you.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:34 |
|
Jerry Cotton posted:A refined version: a guy wearing a CRT television set as a helmet carries a 38" Sony Trinitron onto someone's front step and leaves it there. Hidden inside is you. Cut up into 6 pieces for more efficient packing, of course.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:34 |
haveblue posted:Launch my corpse into space on a collision course with Elon Musk's car tia Did they leave it on autopilot mode? If so, any orbit will do, it’ll swerve to hit you
|
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:37 |
|
Jerry Cotton posted:A refined version: a guy wearing a CRT television set as a helmet carries a 38" Sony Trinitron onto someone's front step and leaves it there. Hidden inside is you. Would be lighter than the actual TV, that's for sure.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 16:40 |
|
Ornamental Dingbat posted:This is my preference as well, luckily I live in MA and there are services in the Boston area that will dump my carcass in the ocean. Graveyards are fine, just need to go multi-purpose with them. Use them as public greenspace. Let people have picnics and play frisbee. Walk dogs. Fun fact: my parents were married in a graveyard. They didn't know it was part of a graveyard, they thought it was a park. There weren't any bodies buried in that section yet so no grave stones, but it was part of a huge graveyard. They didn't find out until they saw the little human interest story with a picture of them in the paper the next week. (It was the 70s and they were hippies).
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 19:52 |
|
|
# ? Jun 3, 2024 22:34 |
|
Icon Of Sin posted:If we’re going for the chemicals of Satan (all hail), may as well go the distance for Chlorine Trifluoride. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorine_trifluoride quote:It will also ignite the ashes of materials that have already been burned in oxygen.
|
# ? Aug 17, 2019 20:19 |