Cough Drop The Beat posted:

How do these types of passive doormats live day-to-day without falling apart? I feel like she's walked all over by her co-workers, husband, bank teller, Chipotle cashier, and literally everyone else in her life and that sounds so laughable. How hard is it to just say no when your "friend" is two steps away from making out with your husband?

Barudak posted:

I knew a lady who liked being picked up by men at gay bars because she felt like it showed dedication to the hunt so im glad this lady is around making it into the most dangerous game.

Dr Strangepants posted:

So apparently an earlier post itt got Lowtax a message from the FBI.



They didn't notice that these posts are all from Reddit. Stay safe Pinecone Sample.

The post:

Streak posted:

Please don't quote my posts. This is harassment and I WILL get the police involved.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to use my trans brothers name?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to use my trans brothers name?

so some backstory is needed here. around a year ago we lost our baby 8 months in due to complications during the pregnancy, we named him (fake name) Greg. it was a super traumatic birth that I still get emotional over.

last year my sister came out as trans and is now a male, uses he/him pronouns. he had gone through a few name changes as per usual when deciding what fits you.

my issue is that he has decided to pick Greg as his name as he wants to remember his nephew, I've told him I would not be comfortable with him doing that but he is dead set on the name.

I now refuse to call him Greg and will only call him G as calling him Greg brings back bad memories for me. its caused a definite rift between us and I want to know if I'm the rear end in a top hat.

and I have signed up for the counseling service just waiting for a call back.

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for not letting my neighbour play with my expensive, well-cared-for toy collection?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

So AITA? Did I really step out of line?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for insisting my brother talk about what happened to him when he was deployed?

My brother Stephen was deployed in 2008. He disappeared 5 months into his deployment. He was MIA for 4 months along with another solider.

He was found and I can’t talk about what exactly happened to him during those 4 months because he has never ever talked about it with any of his family.

He had a one year old son at the time and was married. We all presumed he was dead and had to deal with him coming home after we had all grieved.

He came back different person.

We all tried helping him but he wouldn’t talk about what happened to him. I was only 15 at the time. He started drinking a lot and him and his wife almost divorced. Around 2011 he got sober and started going to therapy.

He became more like his old self, but PTSD is complicated and there would still be times where he would disappear and we would find him having a breakdown.

Now, 11 years later, he’s more stable, my nephew is 12, almost 13, and they have a pretty solid marriage and he’s still sober.

Him and I were with our family at a family gathering this weekend and I made a comment that it was the anniversary of his return. He got emotional and apologized for “everything that he put us through”. I told him he didn’t need to apologize but that the fact that he has never told me what happened to him over there has hurt our relationship.

He got super upset with me and said that I was “hindering his progress by saying that.” I told him that it’s been 11 years and I’m his little brother and he has never told me anything about what happened.

He just got up and left after this but not before telling me that I have “no right” to bring this up after all this time.

He straight up just left the party and left his wife and my nephew there. When she came up to me to ask me if I had seen him I told her that he had left. When she asked why I told her the truth, that I had asked him about what happened. She too then got upset with me and blamed me for “antagonizing him”.

She got a call from him super late last night, drunk in a motel room. She went and picked him up and he spent most of today sleeping it off I think.

My sister in law and most of my family thinks I stepped out of line as they are all okay with not knowing what happened to him as long as Stephen acts normal and “okay.” I personally am not okay with that, considering all the work we put into helping him. Especially considering how long it’s been. This isn’t the first time I have tried to talk to him about it.

So AITA? Did I really step out of line?

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Quoting from 100 pages back


"you're walking in the desert and you see a chicken salad lying in the hot sun..."

"what's a chicken salad?"

"you know what a chicken caesar is?"
"yeah"

"same thing"

.....

"Leon let me ask you about your kegger.."

"my kegger? Let me tell you about my kegger!"

*leon smashes open a 36 pack of bud and upends the cheese table*

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for playing a small prank at my brother's wedding?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

yeah the reddit consensus is that you're risking a whole lot more lives by encouraging her to pursue nursing rather than have her go to cooley law in dreams of working at focus on the family or whatever

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for not letting my neighbour play with my expensive, well-cared-for toy collection?

quote:

I have a coworker who is very attractive. Seriously beautiful. Over the past 5+ years that we've both been at our jobs, I've watched other coworkers encourage her to try modeling/youtubing/etc about fashion and beauty, which she tried, and she's now kinda famous in social media spheres. As far as I know, she's not actually like "movie star" or "famous actor" famous, but she has millions of followers and has made quite a bit of money off of her channels. She also gets into clubs a lot for free these days, and gets a lot of VIP treatment in certain places. As she's gotten more perks, she has stayed sweet, but she's gotten more and more of a "bad things can't happen to me" attitude, and a kind of "oh, I don't have to worry about that" kind of attitude about certain things. Like, she's started to believe her own bullshit and just image that her life is always going to be perfect and amazing. It's made her harder to work with, but she's generally still sweet, even though she talks about herself a lot.

She recently went on a vacation to Mexico and got bitten by a bat. She did get 1 rabies shot immediately. However, when the doctors told her she needed to take more, and that the shots would make her feel crappy and she'd need to rest after each shot, she decided to opt out of that and get the rest back in the US after her vacation was over.

Obviously, that's not how rabies shots work, and when she got back here and called to schedule the shots, apparently, her doctor told her that she could get them, but that it was too late for them to be helpful now, so...that's that.

Needless to say, she's freaking the gently caress out. Because she didn't know how fatal rabies could be, or how serious the injections should be taken. She also swears that the doctors in Mexico didn't tell her that the follow-up shots were that important, which might be true, but I've watched her blow off other medical/"real life" problems that need to be taken seriously before, so honestly, I don't know if I believe her. But at the same time, she might be really hosed, but won't know for something like 2 years.

Now she's talking about doing fund-raisers and stuff to look into experimental research or treatments and also kind of on a rabies crusade to inform her followers about rabies, which is kinda nuts and...ok, I know that she and I are about 15ish years apart, age-wise, but do people in their 20s seriously not know how dangerous rabies can be? Is that really a thing?

Anyways, the important thing is that she's asking for money and always accenting what a life-and-death situation it is. I am NOT giving her money for a lot of reasons, but I don't know how to tell her that I'm not giving her money, especially since she keeps saying things like "without this money, I could die".

Let's be honest, even with all the money in the world, she could die. Or she won't. No way to know.

How should I phrase my "no" to her?

edited to add that I do believe her, because she's never lied to my knowledge and she's never asked for money before in the office. Even if this is nuts, I don't think she made up what actually happened, and she has never tried to get money from the office before, so this isn't a habit or an on-going problem with her.

update: to make a long story short, some coworkers (including me) went to HR and complained that she was making us uncomfortable. By the time I went down, they basically said "are you here to complain about the rabies thing? We're working on taking care of it". HR called her down to their office, and a little later, my boss sent an email saying "Hey everybody, RabiesWoman had to go home today. Please direct anything important about her work to me. She will be back in a day or two". The speculation is that HR told her she can't be freaking out and soliciting money at work, and sent her home to pull herself together. I do feel really bad for her, because like I said, I do believe this is genuine, in part because she has NEVER come to work freaking out and crying like this before. She's occasionally came to work drama-freaking out over some ridiculous social thing for attention, but she was really looking panicked and horrified and miserable the last time I saw her. If anything else happens in the next week or so, I'll update, but I don't know if she'll be at this job (or I'll be at this job) or the next two full years to know for sure if she doesn't have rabies. As dippy as she can be, I really hope she's fine and finds a therapist, because I wouldn't wish this kind of situation on my worst enemy, much less someone who can be annoying self-involved, but it otherwise sweet and pretty good at her job

TLDR: My social-media famous, "like is always going to be perfect for me" coworker got bitten by a bat on vacation, and didn't get rabies shots as she should have. She's now freaking out and asking for money for "experimental treatments". How do I say "no" to her without sounding like the world's coldest rear end in a top hat?

quote:

Four years ago, my dog “Star” escaped from our property. My parents and I tried to search for her but we were stopped by nightfall and stormy weather, and it wasn’t until the next day that we found her body in the ditch of a nearby road.

I was devastated. I’d had Star since I was really young. I couldn’t remember ever being without her. I’m an only child and my family moved around a lot, so I never really had people my own age to hang out with, and as sad as it sounds Star was my best friend growing up. She was this friendly, loving, playful presence and was always there for me.

The worst thing was that when we found her body, it was only her back end that was injured. So she didn’t die quickly, but either bled to death or died of exposure during the storm. The thought of her suffering alone and scared in the dark really hurt. I never told anyone how much that particular thought haunted me. My parents and I took Star home and buried her and I eventually got over it.

I moved to the nearest big city for college. That’s where I met “Marie.” We bonded because she came from the small town next to mine and then we discovered we have similar humor and lot of shared interests. I can honestly say Marie is one of the best people I’ve ever known. She’s smart and talented and I respect her a lot. We’ve been through some rough stuff together since we met. She’s like the sister I never had. Right now we’re roommates.

Yesterday, I was driving home and saw a dead cat by the side of the road. Although it’s been a long time since Star died and I don’t think about it much anymore, it still gets me down when I see someone’s pet as roadkill. When I got to our apartment, Marie noticed I was quiet and asked me if something was up. I told her about what happened to Star. I was playing a video game as I was talking and didn’t notice at first, but when I looked up, Marie was staring at me with this horrified face.

She tells me that she thinks she killed me dog. I was confused and asked to know why she thought that. She tells me that her cousins live out by where my parents are (which I knew) and that she remembers one night, she was driving there in a storm and hit a dog. The time of year matches up. The name of the road matches up. I’m positive Marie killed my dog.

As soon as I was sure, I was hit by this huge wave of grief and anger. It was so unexpected. It’s been years since it happened and it hasn’t bothered me in a long time, but I was just furious and hurt. All I could think about was Star in pain, dying slowly. That dog did so much for me. She didn’t deserve that.

I demanded to know why Marie didn’t stop and check if Star was alive. Marie starts crying and says she panicked and that the thump was so loud she thought the dog would have been killed by the impact. She apologizes over and over. I can’t think straight and I tell her I need to go. I drove to my parents house and lied about why I needed to stay for the weekend. So here I am.

Since I’ve been here, Marie texted me. She apologized for crying and again for what happened to Star. She says she knows what Star meant to me and that she understands if I need time and space.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like a mess. I know it was an accident. It happened a long time ago and I don’t know why I’m reacting so strongly to it. Marie means a lot to me and I really want our friendship to stay the same, but just thinking about her makes me sick to my stomach right now. I also feel guilty for flipping out on her and running away instead of calmly talking things out like an adult. We don’t have class on Monday but I have to go home by Tuesday and I don’t know what I’m going to do or say.

Is it crazy of me to be so upset by a dog? How do I let this go? What should I say to Marie?

EDIT: to clarify, I'm not asking if I should remain friends with Marie. Like I said, she's like family and that's not even up for debate. Whatever she did was an accident and doesn't change my perception of her as a person. I just need to figure out how to let it go and how to communicate my feelings to her.

tl;dr: Turns out it was my best friend who hit my dog with a car four years ago and neither of us knew it. I want to let it go but I’m having a hard time. How do I handle this?

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

Yeah I haven’t found any Americans that it could possibly be if he was captured so I imagine he did/saw some hosed poo poo, wanted out, then got hosed extra after trying to run away from the Army. The military was super lovely about PTSD mental heath back then, even by its presently low standards.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to use my trans brothers name?

bell jar posted:

quote:

My husband and I have been together for a long time. Like, seven years total, married for two years.

I don't remember this being an issue in the first parts of our relationship though I might have been less attentive to it.

He always has his hands on me but not in a good way. He grabs my butt as I walk by in a way that makes me jump/is ticklish. He runs his fingers over my thighs in a super light way that makes me unable to sit still without feeling like I have chills (not in a good way). If I have a bump like a clogged hair pore or like if I have a small scratch/scab anywhere on myself, it's like without fail that he will find it and play with it. I don't know if it's conscious or not honestly, but he will always be like "Oh I didn't realize!" and I'm like "Really? You just happened to find the one painful spot of skin on my leg and begin to play with it?"

Similarly, we kiss a lot, but he always turns it gross and unattractive. Like, shoves his tongue down my throat, or bites my lip. It makes me push him away, I guess his behavior is "playful" but now it has begun to leak into our sex life because he starts with the gross kissing, I push him away, then he will grab me and be like "Come onnnn!" and then I'm like "oh, so this is for real? This is how we're starting our sex routine? With the gross kiss you know I don't like?" The last time we had sex I was completely not into it at all, more not into it than I've ever been. I know it's because he like grabbed my rear end and put his tongue down my throat and I was not turned on AT ALL.

He seems to think my annoyance is a joke, but this is actually becoming a thing. I am not interested in being near him or cuddling because I know he'll begin to touch me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I'll be trying to relax with him and next thing I know he is tickling my arm, rubbing his tongue on me somewhere in a hair-raising way, or doing some other really unattractive thing. It sometimes even gives me anxiety to be physical with him in a nonsexual way because I know I won't be able to just sit quietly and BE without him touching me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I've tried talking to him about it, but he thinks it's a joke or like "oh I love to annoy you." I've gotten actually annoyed and been like "STOP IT" but again, I don't think he takes it seriously, because he'll say things like "Well how can I touch you then? Show me how you want to be touched" which lasts for like a minute before he goes back to bothering me. He always says things like "you never want to touch me anymore" or "you never want to cuddle" but like I would rather left alone honestly. And it's killing my sex drive. It is basically at zero right now.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this and how can I make it clear that this is not a joking matter?

tl;dr: My husband constantly touches me in ways that makes me uncomfortable and it's not a joke anymore.

EDIT Yeah, didn't expect this to blow up so much, but wow, it's really shown me the true spirit of Reddit.

I mean, even if I don't like a certain type of touching, even if it's PAINFUL to me at times, he's my husband and totally deserves the affection/sex, right?? OMG WHAT A FRIGID BITCH I AM.

I mean, why wouldn't someone with 34F breasts that are incredibly sore due to an impending period or a long day of walking around in the city want someone to roughly fondle them at random times when you are trying to relax? I mean, yeah it hurts and it's one of the most sensitive parts of the female body, but I got married, right? My body is TOTALLY up for grabs and his to touch at will now. How stupid of me to not realize this.

I guess the men who frequent this subreddit-- hey, if you went horsebackriding and your balls were super sore/tender, but your lady had the urge to randomly attack them or flick them, I mean, why are you SHUTTING HER DOWN LIKE THIS? Or maybe you're chafed a bit on your dick? But if she feels like running her nails over it "playfully" then that's game, man. Don't be a dick about it! /s

For those of you saying that I am no longer sexually attracted to my husband and "poor guy," calm down. We have sex regularly, actually more than any of my friends also in longterm relationships-- they often say things like "Wish I still had that much sexual chemistry with my guy/girl/etc." Our sex life is good. I was surprised by the last time we had sex because it was the FIRST TIME EVER that I felt not as into it as I usually do, and I know it was because he was groping at me a few minutes earlier.

I love my husband very much and this is not some divorce-worthy thing, it's something I wanted advice with how to communicate properly and yes, also understand if others have experienced this.

Thank you to the approximately 40% normal people who gave me actual advice or shared how they dealt with the situation, and for the rest of you... well, my earlier comments made it clear.

Sorry to sound like a BITCH as some of you have called me but drat, learn some empathy skills and realize that a woman does not turn into her husband's plaything after you get married and that there's such a thing as wanting to be touched in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable, in pain, or give you unpleasant sensations.

END EDIT

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [27] husband [28 M] of two years does not understand that "bad touching" is not funny and it's making me realize that I've become totally unattracted to him.



r/relationships: I was completely not into it at all, more not into it than I've ever been

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah these are the good ones.

I'm gonna have to go with NTA right now but maybe the therapy will help them over come it? I dunno thats a pretty traumatic thing to have gone through and the brother taking that name is kinda weird but it is his choice.

quote:

Hello Reddit! I'm normally a lurker and can't think of a better name for this account right now.

I met my husband 6 years ago when we both had just graduated college. He was a lovely guy, handsome and very well put together. He loved muscle cars and weight lifting and I loved everything about him. I fell in love with him instantly and was over the moon when he asked me to marry him.

A year into our marriage, I became pregnant with our son and gained about 30 lbs. I was 5'3" 125 lbs before the baby and 155 lbs after the baby. I still fit into the same clothing sizes so I didn't think I had gained too much weight and that it would come off with breastfeeding and some more exercise.

After the baby, my husband started pressuring me to lose the weight. He said that his friends were making comments about how fat I had gotten and that he was not as attracted to me as he was before I had the baby. He gave me an ultimatum that I either would have to lose the 30 lbs in six months or he would leave me. I was very upset about the demand, but I didn't want to lose him so I tried my hardest to lose the weight.

Every day for months I would wake up and go to hot yoga for 90 minutes. After I got home from work, I would run or do some bodyweight exercises. I tried to keep my calorie count below 1200 so that I would lose 2 or more lbs per week. The weight slowly but surely started to come off and I was back down to 130 lbs by the end of the six months. My husband was happy and things looked like they would be okay.

After I lost the weight, I noticed a shift in the attitude of my husband's friends. Most of them are perfectly nice guys, but a few of them are absolute pieces of poo poo (the same ones who called me fat). Once I returned to my old weight, these friends started to make comments about me and how sexy I was. I told my husband to make them stop and he said that he would speak with them, but the rude comments never stopped. I channeled all of my frustrations into working out and I lost an additional 15 lbs of body fat and got more toned.

This past weekend, my husband's friends were over at the house and one of them grabbed me and tried to grope me. I told my husband and even though he was angry at his friend, he was still angry at me. My husband said that I was leading his friends on by losing so much weight and that I was trying to make myself skinny so that I could cheat on him. I was disgusted by this accusation and packed my bags and left for my mom's house.

Last night, my husband called me and begged for me to come back home. He says that he knows that he was unfair and that he won't let his friend come over anymore, but I am so tired of dealing with this that I'm not sure I want him back. He's the one that told me to lose weight, but now he's blaming me for being too skinny and I'm afraid he's going to make me develop an eating disorder. But I also still love my husband and it hurts me to be apart from him.

I'm so confused and I'm not sure what to do.

tl;dr: Had a baby and gained weight, husband told me to either lose the weight or leave. I lose the weight and then some and husband's friends started hitting on me. Husband blamed me for it and I left him. He called me yesterday asking for a second chance and I don't know if I should give him one.

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah these are the good ones.

I'm gonna have to go with NTA right now but maybe the therapy will help them over come it? I dunno thats a pretty traumatic thing to have gone through and the brother taking that name is kinda weird but it is his choice.

quote:

Out of town for business, my rental car was flagged as stolen weeks before I rented it resulting in a felony traffic stop involving 8 officers.
u/dirtybirds233
I’m in San Francisco for work, and my wife flew out this weekend so we could visit Napa. On the way there, we noticed an officer following us, and as soon as we got off our exit we were pulled over. Three other squad cars blocked the off ramp and pulled their guns on us. They asked me to put our hands in the air, throw the keys out of the window, walk backwards, get on my knees, etc. they did the same with my wife and when we asked why this was happening they didn’t answer.

They put me in the back of the squad car, and read my rights to me. They then told me the car was stolen, to which I responded it was a rental. After some time they confirmed the paper work with the rental company, and cleared the plates. They explained that the company reported it stolen weeks ago when it wasn’t returned on time, then never followed up with the police department. The officers explained that the city we were in has one of the highest crime rates in America which was why they had to take it as seriously as they did. We later confirmed that with locals as well as the good old internet.

We’ve talked to multiple people who believe we should sue the rental company, because at the end of the day the officers were acting on the information they had and we were the wrong flinch away from being shot. Would there actually be a case here?

teen witch posted:

Bonus from the comments! Seems that this is a thing!
https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/...d-attorney-says

And from a cursory google search it seems like renting a car is a loving nightmare.

Pinecone Sample posted:

I will make fun of babies for being stupid behind their backs, but never to their faces.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Yikes. I'm renting a car next week (in SF no less!) and didn't realize anything like that could happen.

Woman with Garbage Husband posted:

After I got home from work, I would run or do some bodyweight exercises. I tried to keep my calorie count below 1200 so that I would lose 2 or more lbs per week.

teen witch posted:

If the 13 yr old wants to read the story of the goddamn eye let her, kudos to her for reading books she’s interested in and being a self motivated reader. My mom let me read whatever I wanted to, she was just happy that I loved reading so much. She even bought me my first Judy Blume books.

Antivehicular posted:

They're not wrong, but repeatedly telling your eight-month-old baby she's "the dumb one" for doing baby stuff is way weirder and way grosser. You know they're not going to knock that poo poo off by the time the kid is old enough to notice.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to use my trans brothers name?

so some backstory is needed here. around a year ago we lost our baby 8 months in due to complications during the pregnancy, we named him (fake name) Greg. it was a super traumatic birth that I still get emotional over.

last year my sister came out as trans and is now a male, uses he/him pronouns. he had gone through a few name changes as per usual when deciding what fits you.

my issue is that he has decided to pick Greg as his name as he wants to remember his nephew, I've told him I would not be comfortable with him doing that but he is dead set on the name.

I now refuse to call him Greg and will only call him G as calling him Greg brings back bad memories for me. its caused a definite rift between us and I want to know if I'm the rear end in a top hat.

and I have signed up for the counseling service just waiting for a call back.

Dazerbeams posted:

Hot yoga wife should gently caress all the guy’s friends then divorce from the whole group.

Ebola Roulette posted:

Holy poo poo how loving tone deaf can you be.

Leon Einstein posted:

Yeah, she should gently caress the guy that groped her. That'll certainly teach him the right lesson about groping. Good plan.

Ebola Roulette posted:

Holy poo poo how loving tone deaf can you be.