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welcome to hell posted:My girlfriend ate rear end before I asked her to be my girlfriend. You're gonna have to eat another guys rear end to get over it, sorry I don't make the rules.
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Aug 19, 2019 17:34
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Cat Army 
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TheAardvark posted:(this is about the closeted gay brother's bf maybe not being invited to a wedding) there's really no difference between this and someone not wanting to let their gay sibling come with a partner when the family *already* knows they're gay, the 'coming out' part actually makes no difference because the only people who will be bothered by this are homophobes and they will be homophobic regardless. there is really no understandable position where it's fine to say 'hey don't show up and be gay' and it's weird so many posters on here think so.
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Aug 19, 2019 17:36
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ulex minor posted:there's really no difference between this and someone not wanting to let their gay sibling come with a partner when the family *already* knows they're gay, the 'coming out' part actually makes no difference because the only people who will be bothered by this are homophobes and they will be homophobic regardless. there is really no understandable position where it's fine to say 'hey don't show up and be gay' and it's weird so many posters on here think so. "The bride is so beautiful, look at that dress." vs. "Cousin Billy will suck cocks in hell." Edit: it's the same reason you don't propose at someone else's wedding, or wear a white dress.
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Aug 19, 2019 17:53
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ulex minor posted:there's really no difference between this and someone not wanting to let their gay sibling come with a partner when the family *already* knows they're gay, the 'coming out' part actually makes no difference because the only people who will be bothered by this are homophobes and they will be homophobic regardless. there is really no understandable position where it's fine to say 'hey don't show up and be gay' and it's weird so many posters on here think so. Planning a wedding usually involves a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and money. The bride and groom should reasonably expect to be the center of attention for the event for all the work that was put into it. It's a celebration of their union after all. Hijacking all that effort to make drama is in fact a lovely thing to do.
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Aug 19, 2019 17:55
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ulex minor posted:there's really no difference between this and someone not wanting to let their gay sibling come with a partner when the family *already* knows they're gay, the 'coming out' part actually makes no difference because the only people who will be bothered by this are homophobes and they will be homophobic regardless. there is really no understandable position where it's fine to say 'hey don't show up and be gay' and it's weird so many posters on here think so. It's not really the same. If he was already out they could sort out most of the family horribleness ahead of time and let anyone who has a problem with it stay home. That's not really feasible on short notice because even if brother was OK coming out immediately and even if they managed to get the word out to everybody and lay down the law it's too late for people to back out without disrupting plans and creating even more acrimony over the whole thing. Not to mention the whole "it's rude to use someone else's wedding as a platform for your own big life announcements" thing. Even if you're not big into the whole "special day" wedding mystique that's an easy way to piss people off and is best avoided.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:07
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Dazerbeams posted:That's good to know that the gut injections are no longer standard. But google is telling me the cost for the post-exposure regimen is usually over $3,000 in the greatest country in the world so there's still that. An emergency room Tylenol for a baby with a fever costs that much in America. Our prices for medical care are illustrative of nothing but greed.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:11
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ulex minor posted:there's really no difference between this and someone not wanting to let their gay sibling come with a partner when the family *already* knows they're gay, the 'coming out' part actually makes no difference because the only people who will be bothered by this are homophobes and they will be homophobic regardless. there is really no understandable position where it's fine to say 'hey don't show up and be gay' and it's weird so many posters on here think so. It's a lovely move to hijack someone else's wedding to make a big personal statement about yourself, whether it's proposing to your girlfriend, announcing a pregnancy, coming out, presenting as a different gender for the first time, etc. All of these things focus attention on you and it's just plain selfish and rude to do that. If the brother was already out then I agree with your statement that the homophobes can go gently caress themselves. but in this case it's turning someone else's big life event into his own big life event and that's an rear end in a top hat move.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:15
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(23F) Completely Humiliated Self in front of Boyfriends (25M) Familyquote:This is my first post but I’m up at night and I can’t sleep because this is haunting me. So my boyfriend (25M) of 7 months and I (23F) went over to his parents house for dinner. I was pretty nervous because we haven’t been dating long and I still don’t know his parents too well and I’m trying to make a good impression on them but my awkwardness can kind of get in the way. I just started my period that morning and I’m wearing a tampon. We get about to the end of dinner when I feel some moisture down there. I don’t immediately freak out because it’s not uncommon to feel that in jeans and for it to be nothing. So I get up and head to the bathroom when I notice I’ve just bled through my white and black checkered pants in front of his whole family. I panic in the bathroom and tie my jacket around my waist. It’s a jean jacket so the sleeves are stiff and poor and covering the blood mark. I realize now this should have been my que to let my boyfriend know we have to go but I’ve convinced myself at this point that maybe no ones noticed and that it can’t get any worse. So I’m there for another hour or so with his family just chatting but I can just feel myself getting damper and damper I make sure to stay unseen behind furniture. We finally head off and I ask my boyfriend if we can stop at my place so I can grab some stuff. It’s not until I get a load of myself I’m the mirror that I realize the blood had pooled all around my crotch and the spot is so noticeable even with my jacket tied at my waist. I start crying from the sheer embarrassment. Nobody commented on it so I’m not sure whether they were being polite or is the genuinely didn’t notice. I feel this is straight up a scene from Carrie there was so much blood. I can’t imagine nobody would have noticed. My boyfriend can be pretty oblivious to these sort of things and I got the vibe he didn’t notice. I’m so embarrassed. How do I come to grips with this? I feel like I can’t look his family in the eyes after this night. I’m completely mortified. Anyone have any advice of how to handle this? I feel like I’ve made such a bad impression and i feel physically ill from how bad that went. I’m not even sure how to bring it up to my boyfriend or if I should just trying to move past and pretend like it didn’t happen. Please help!
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Aug 19, 2019 18:17
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would you guys actually be saying the same thing if someone was like "oh gosh it's so awkward but i need to tell my brother not to bring his black girlfriend to my wedding because my family is insanely racist and haven't had enough time to accept her" ? his brother's statement that he wants to share a day of love with the people he loves is incredibly moving the idea that coming to a wedding openly gay is the same as wearing a bridal dress is pretty funny though, good job guys
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Aug 19, 2019 18:17
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ulex minor posted:would you guys actually be saying the same thing if someone was like "oh gosh it's so awkward but i need to tell my brother not to bring his black girlfriend to my wedding because my family is insanely racist and haven't had enough time to accept her" ? The first problem is if my family was that awful, I wouldn't be inviting them to my wedding in the first place. I have no problem cutting off family members if they're bad enough.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:19
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ulex minor posted:would you guys actually be saying the same thing if someone was like "oh gosh it's so awkward but i need to tell my brother not to bring his black girlfriend to my wedding because my family is insanely racist and haven't had enough time to accept her" ? I think it would be more like if the brother showed up with a baby and none of the family knew that they were even pregnant.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:20
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Sagebrush posted:It's a lovely move to hijack someone else's wedding to make a big personal statement about yourself, whether it's proposing to your girlfriend, announcing a pregnancy, coming out, presenting as a different gender for the first time, etc. All of these things focus attention on you and it's just plain selfish and rude to do that. "a big statement about yourself", jesus christ, it would be just as awful if you'd realized you were transgender and someone was like, oh dear, could you please pretend to be cisgender a bit longer because it's going to get in the way of my wedding party because my family are bigots
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Aug 19, 2019 18:20
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chitoryu12 posted:The first problem is if my family was that awful, I wouldn't be inviting them to my wedding in the first place. I have no problem cutting off family members if they're bad enough. yes, exactly, he could have a lovely drama free wedding with his gay brother if he uninvited the homophobes instead of his brothers partner :3
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Aug 19, 2019 18:21
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ulex minor posted:"a big statement about yourself", jesus christ, it would be just as awful if you'd realized you were transgender and someone was like, oh dear, could you please pretend to be cisgender a bit longer because it's going to get in the way of my wedding party because my family are bigots The opposite happened though. The brother was encouraged to come out long before the wedding date, and he chose to stay in the closet until the worst possible time.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:22
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ulex minor posted:yes, exactly, he could have a lovely drama free wedding with his gay brother if he uninvited the homophobes instead of his brothers partner :3 Uninviting half the family a week before the wedding is not how you have a lovely drama free wedding.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:22
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Dazerbeams posted:The opposite happened though. The brother was encouraged to come out long before the wedding date, and he chose to stay in the closet until the worst possible time. you do realize the reason it's 'the worst possible time' is because he has awful homophobic relations? they are the people who are actually to blame here. i wonder why the brother might have had issues coming out at a 'convenient' time. obviously not because his family is awful. my god, listen to yourself please.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:25
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chitoryu12 posted:(23F) Completely Humiliated Self in front of Boyfriends (25M) Family Meh. It sounds like the parents didn't even pick up on it because I guarantee if the mother had noticed she would have found some way to subtly help out (or done some big shaming routine if that's her thing but either way she would have reacted). e: she was wearing black and white checkered jeans? Weird Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Aug 19, 2019 |
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Aug 19, 2019 18:26
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ulex minor posted:you do realize the reason it's 'the worst possible time' is because he has awful homophobic relations? they are the people who are actually to blame here. i wonder why the brother might have had issues coming out at a 'convenient' time. obviously not because his family is awful. my god, listen to yourself please. OK, but what does coming out by surprise at the wedding do to make any of that better?
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Aug 19, 2019 18:31
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ulex minor posted:you do realize the reason it's 'the worst possible time' is because he has awful homophobic relations? they are the people who are actually to blame here. i wonder why the brother might have had issues coming out at a 'convenient' time. obviously not because his family is awful. my god, listen to yourself please. Yet it's the OP who's caught in the middle of this mess even though it sounds like he would have happily cut out any homophobes from the wedding if they were blatantly identifiable. They don't know who would be worth uninviting or not because the brother wants to literally come out on the wedding day.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:31
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i have this radical view that there shouldn't be a bad time to come out because coming out shouldn't be a disgusting, disturbing thing. i'm just a babe in the woods though i'm sure
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Aug 19, 2019 18:31
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Dazerbeams posted:Yet it's the OP who's caught in the middle of this mess even though it sounds like he would have happily cut out any homophobes from the wedding if they were blatantly identifiable. They don't know who would be worth uninviting or not because the brother wants to literally come out on the wedding day. so just to check, you do think it's totally reasonable to ban any interracial pairings from your wedding if you're uncertain about how many racists might be there?
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Aug 19, 2019 18:33
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chitoryu12 posted:Fight Man seems to be a being of pure loss. Haven't there been studies done that show that thin people way overestimate the amount they eat and for fat people it's the opposite? If he's as sedentary as he says he probably eats 1500-2000 calories a day instead of the 3200 he claims.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:33
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ulex minor posted:i have this radical view that there shouldn't be a bad time to come out because coming out shouldn't be a disgusting, disturbing thing. i'm just a babe in the woods though i'm sure There's also no wrong time to announce your engagement or pregnancy because that's not a disgusting, disturbing thing either.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:33
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acknowledging the reality that people will stop and take notice of a coming out is not the same as characterizing it as some moral offense, without even accounting for the horrible half of the family that will ruin the wedding despite that not being a socially contemporary worldview. like choosing your own brothers wedding to make a huge announcement about your identity is a gigantic jerk narcissist move and identifying that isn't the same as characterizing his coming out as a "disgusting, disturbing thing"
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Aug 19, 2019 18:34
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ulex minor posted:so just to check, you do think it's totally reasonable to ban any interracial pairings from your wedding if you're uncertain about how many racists might be there? Totally reasonable. So much in fact that I banned myself from my own wedding. Get hosed. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 19, 2019 18:35
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ulex minor posted:so just to check, you do think it's totally reasonable to ban any interracial pairings from your wedding if you're uncertain about how many racists might be there? i chose my brother's wedding to announce to the family that i'm black and it was a huge hullaballoo
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Aug 19, 2019 18:35
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Ebola Roulette posted:Haven't there been studies done that show that thin people way overestimate the amount they eat and for fat people it's the opposite? If he's as sedentary as he says he probably eats 1500-2000 calories a day instead of the 3200 he claims. Even then, it should be enough to bring him to at least a normal weight (possibly even slightly overweight depending on how sedentary he is). Being that skinny when eating tons of junk food is a sign of a more serious medical problem. Or, like I said, he's such an embodiment of loss that he can't even win a fight with calories.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:36
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bamhand posted:There's also no wrong time to announce your engagement or pregnancy because that's not a disgusting, disturbing thing either. bringing your same sex partner to an occasion is not the same as proposing or announcing you are pregnant for reasons i feel i don't need to explain but possibly i should? it is actually not more attention grabbing or momentous for two men to come somewhere than it is for a man and a woman to come somewhere, except if you have homophobic people around and i would politely suggest we should not cater to those sorts of people
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Aug 19, 2019 18:36
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chitoryu12 posted:Even then, it should be enough to bring him to at least a normal weight (possibly even slightly overweight depending on how sedentary he is). Being that skinny when eating tons of junk food is a sign of a more serious medical problem. Maybe a tapeworm is body slamming him from the inside...
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Aug 19, 2019 18:37
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Dazerbeams posted:Totally reasonable. So much in fact that I banned myself from my own wedding. Get hosed. you have an astonishing lack of empathy it seems
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Aug 19, 2019 18:37
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Why does half of Reddit gently caress up queue/que/cue?
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Aug 19, 2019 18:38
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Frog Act posted:acknowledging the reality that people will stop and take notice of a coming out is not the same as characterizing it as some moral offense, without even accounting for the horrible half of the family that will ruin the wedding despite that not being a socially contemporary worldview. like choosing your own brothers wedding to make a huge announcement about your identity is a gigantic jerk narcissist move and identifying that isn't the same as characterizing his coming out as a "disgusting, disturbing thing" i am honestly baffled at how someone can read a story where the brother says "I have come to terms with my sexuality and I want to share your wedding day with someone I love" as a 'gigantic jerk narcissist move'
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Aug 19, 2019 18:39
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ulex minor posted:bringing your same sex partner to an occasion is not the same as proposing or announcing you are pregnant for reasons i feel i don't need to explain but possibly i should? it is actually not more attention grabbing or momentous for two men to come somewhere than it is for a man and a woman to come somewhere, except if you have homophobic people around and i would politely suggest we should not cater to those sorts of people OK, so after his brother comes out and people make a scene at the wedding OP can hop in his time machine and uninvite those people 4 months ago, perfect system.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:42
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ulex minor posted:bringing your same sex partner to an occasion is not the same as proposing or announcing you are pregnant for reasons i feel i don't need to explain but possibly i should? it is actually not more attention grabbing or momentous for two men to come somewhere than it is for a man and a woman to come somewhere, except if you have homophobic people around and i would politely suggest we should not cater to those sorts of people It is if no one knew you were gay. Especially family members. Even if everyone at the wedding wasn't a homophobe, he's still going to get a ton of attention if he comes out at the wedding. If his close family and friends loved and cared about him then certainly they would congratulate him and voice their support when suddenly finding out that he's gay, and thus he would be getting a ton of attention from everyone when they're there to celebrate the bride and groom. I get what you're saying that gay people should be able to do everything everyone else does and be accepted, but someone else's wedding is not the venue for you to reveal a big, previously unknown, aspect of your life to your family even if everyone would be supportive about it.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:43
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ulex minor posted:i am honestly baffled at how someone can read a story where the brother says "I have come to terms with my sexuality and I want to share your wedding day with someone I love" as a 'gigantic jerk narcissist move' I'm sorry you got uninvited to your boyfriend's brother's wedding
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Aug 19, 2019 18:43
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welcome to hell posted:My girlfriend ate rear end before I asked her to be my girlfriend. dudeness posted:You're gonna have to eat another guys rear end to get over it, sorry I don't make the rules.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:45
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bamhand posted:
this is just the most perfect description of all the arguments you people are making: "I get what you're saying that gay people should be able to do everything everyone else does and be accepted, but" but sorry queers, this is just the reality we live in and you don't get to be treated the same as straight people, deal with it and don't complain.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:46
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ulex minor posted:this is just the most perfect description of all the arguments you people are making: No, this would be the same treatment as straight people. It would be frowned on for a straight couple to make a big announcement on somebody else's wedding day. They're free to do it any other day except for that one.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:49
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AITA for not letting a friend use my umbrella in a Japanese downpour? My friends and I went sightseeing, aware that the weather forecast was warning of heavy rain. We’re from England, where the correct response to rain is to not acknowledge it, but things are a little different in Japan. It is impossible to walk outside without getting fully soaked. I warned my friends of this and stopped at a shop to buy an umbrella. They were reluctant to get one; either underestimating the rain or thinking they could get one later, if it actually rained. I warned them multiple times that if it rains, I would not let them borrow my umbrella. One friend had a raincoat so was mostly fine but the other did not. I reminded them that I would not share a few more times while we were walking. Roughly an hour later, it started raining. Hard. It was unlikely to stop raining any time soon and we had a train to catch so we walked in the rain for half an hour to the train station. I stood by my word and refused to let them use my umbrella (which could easily fit 2 people under it). When we arrived, the friend without the raincoat was completely soaked, and the other was far from dry. Neither were particularly happy. AITA for standing by my word and not saving my friend from the rain?
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Aug 19, 2019 18:50
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Big deal if the bro wants to bring his boyfriend. Is he doesn't make an announcement are you guys ok with it?
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Aug 19, 2019 18:50
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