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Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
holy poo poo I'm dying

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Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



quote:

Peace? Peace?! I hate that word. As I hate hell, all Montagues and Capules. I hate the Jews. It's a Jewish word. A great big Jewish word. There are Jewish women. I've written about this. It's a Jewish word. It's not meant to be taken seriously. I hate it. But it's true, and it's dangerous. It's dangerous. I really hate the Jews. Don't they want peace? Don't they want the Jews gone? I hate the Jews. And that's the truth. The Jews want peace. That's the truth. There is no other way. But you see the whole reason the Jews hate us is we want the Jews gone. They want everything to be the way it was before the war. Look at the history. You look at the history. And the Jews are the bad guys -- they want to steal all our money. They want everything to be the way it was before the war. There's no chance that it can be otherwise. I'm very serious. I hate the Jews. It's true -- I hate the Jews. I don't think we're going

:stare: ...well, alrighty then.

Loomer
Dec 19, 2007

A Very Special Hell
Well, MGS6 looking good.

I won't scatter your sorrow to the heartless sea. Even if a man's heart and bones are lost to the sea, I will have peace of mind if I am the man's brother. But you're still my brother, a child who's a stranger in your house. That's why you know how much I care about you.

"Now, you should have come with me as soon as you were born. But you are different. You've become independent. Now you want to be a man of your own volition. That's what we should have done. You, my brother, must have thought of yourself this way already. But instead of accepting your fate, you have continued your life in vain. In spite of being the son of my wife, I have never felt the smallest warmth for you. I saw you as my brother, but I no longer feel that connection. If you only had known how much I love you, how much you care about me, then maybe I could live a second life with you. I know how hard it would be for you to find yourself a family.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Loomer posted:

Well, MGS6 looking good.

The newest Metal Gear Solid game by Kojima, Metal Gear Solid 7: Volge's Cretaceous Army, comes out on October 31, 2014 for the PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, and Xbox One. In the year 2212, the world's government turns into a police state run by the U.S. government and has become heavily infiltrated by Big Boss (who has secretly developed the Metal Gear in a clandestine lab in Russia), FOXHOUND (an elite FOX unit that specializes in cyber warfare), and the CIA (an operation staffed almost exclusively by ex-military personnel).

The storyline focuses on the rise and fall of the U.N.-backed mercenary organization, A.C.E.R. (which translates as "Alliance for the Exploration and Reclamation".

Metal Gear Solid 7: Volge's Cretaceous Army comes out in stores October 31, 2014 for the PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One in North America exclusively for PlayStation 3 and PlayStation 4. The game will cost $59.99.

Metal Gear Solid 7: Volge's Cretaceous Army has many gameplay improvements over its predecessors. You play as a new character named Volge, who begins his adventure when he is transported to outer space and is tasked with killing Snake. Volge's unique abilities include the ability to take and use the Metal Gear X-Ray, and the ability to call upon the giant snake-like creature, the Gekkos, which can help him defeat Solid Snake.

Exit Theatre Mode

Each time you beat a new mission in Volge's Cretaceous Army, you get an exclusive Metal Gear Solid 7 item, from which you can craft Volge's Cretaceous Army. Volge's Cretaceous Army also gives you access to a whole bunch of extra mission challenges for your next mission.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...

War. War never changes.
Never. The war that's going on is, there is war everywhere. And there are lots of people who are going to die, and a lot of people who don't. And a lot of people are still going to be tortured, and that's not right."

So how is the President, who is already in his sixth year at the helm of this military empire able to say that the war on terror is not, indeed, over and the future has not yet arrived? In fact, how is he able to say that we are "a long way off"?

And the President can only speak to how far we have already come if he understands that we have been in this war long enough.

"As a nation we are not going to be able to sustain this kind of war forever," he says. He could not have been more telling if he had said, "We are living in a post-colonial world."

The War on Terror never ends. It continues. And there is no way to stop it.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...

Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. The only thing you know how to do is fight me. You have no sense of your own worth. You look like a mouse in your cage, but when you get free, you'll know that this is what you were made for – to learn the ins and outs of the technology of this world.

If you're worried about being an outcast in modern society now – this is the future you can join. And you will.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Mario posted:

Let's-a go! [Smash Smash] Whoo. My f-ing hand shot through a window. Holy gently caress! Oh f-God! What a stupid-looking hand. Jesus. Why'd you just try to-a smash me in the eyes when all you needed to do to me was smash my head? Waaagh! I've got nothing to lose. It's just the fact that I can't see you. I'm not looking at you. You're all dead. You're all dead— Oh my gently caress-you God, what have I done? Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [Bowser laughs evilly]

:stare:

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.
Fed it some Tom Waits...

She was a middle class girl. She was in over her head. She thought she would stand up in the deep end. And the water level was coming back. And she just went deep. She couldn't find a way in. So she ran. And they saw this girl and they started yelling, "Get off the river," as if they knew she was dead. And then the next thing they knew, everybody came jumping off the shore, and the river was in her arms. And then they went into the deep. And she fell into it, and that was it. And then she went in the deeper. And there she was, when the sun came up. And she was back. But now she's dead. She's so dead. Forever dead and lovely now.

:haw:

Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. And say the exact same sentence to a different person, and you both say plate. So the other person says plate o' shrimp. But when you say plate you mean nothing. You're either trying to be different people or you're a weirdo, and sometimes people who are weirdos are weird. And you've got the same problem with fish. Let me give you an example. Imagine a plate o' chicken. When you put it in front of someone, he says chicken, but when you put it in front of somebody else, she says chicken. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

Dick Trauma has a new favorite as of 17:35 on Aug 21, 2019

Negostrike
Aug 15, 2015


You are a rock star. You are a rock legend to the max. You can really knock it out. You can really wupp a horse's rear end. You can get the best of anybody you meet. You can do anything you want. You can do anything on the planet. You've got talent that no other performer possesses. Even Bill Clinton could come up and take the piss out of you. [applause] If you're gonna do it, you have to do it. I want to thank a lot of you. [applause] You got a beautiful voice. You've got a gorgeous mannerisms. I want to thank the people you've worked with. You've done some great things. I want to thank all of you that have been here, that have worked with me, your company, the people I've met in restaurants, and on the dance floor. I want to thank our management team, everybody who has worked with me, and if anybody deserves credit they should be... [audience boos] GLEICOKE: We got to the stage. [applause] LENNON: Rock on! Rock over London. Rock on, Chicago. Taco Bell, make a run for the border.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


Dick Trauma posted:

and the river was in her arms.
This is a nicely Waitsian image. I like it very much.

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!
Phase 1: Collect underpants. Phase 2: Sell underpants for cash.

Phase 3: Profit.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.
I fed it some Trump speech and :stare:...

A strong man came up to me, tough kind of a guy, and said: "I want to thank you, Mr. President, for saving our country." And he had tears coming down his eyes. So I said to him: "If only the first 100,000 people came forward and voted…but that's not about us, that's about them." I saw his face change. That's how I came to know, and to know that he believes this. And I'm trying to help a lot of people understand what we really stand for."

But Trump doesn't believe it, and for good reason. He's only interested in protecting what "people" have in mind:

And they're going to be totally protected. Nobody's going to get in — we have to keep a wall. We have to keep a lot of people out. We have to keep our country safe. And if we have to do that, that's fine by me. Do you see what's going on? I mean there's not the wall to help us. There are people that want to help us, as I've always said I want to help.

Your Computer
Oct 3, 2008




Grimey Drawer

quote:

Due to heavy criticism, Nintendo decided to censor the character "Eggman," which it then sent back over to the animators to tweak (they apparently had to remove about half of the male genitalia in order to make it fit into the game).

The official translation of the game shows a more explicit portrayal of sex appeal, and we have to give it to the game and the artist for doing a great job at portraying the sex appeal of that character, but we would have liked to see some of the more explicit elements censored altogether.

[Image: Sega]

:gonk:

Mr Luxury Yacht
Apr 16, 2012


Vegeta crushed his scouter in his hand. "It's over 9000!".

Dio continued, "You see, in the last time, the Devil betrayed the God of Earth, Goku, and took away the spirit of peace of the Earth... and you, the god of Earth, you have been corrupted! And you must learn to change!", and he took a red pill, and drank it.

"Gohan: So I'm just gonna drink some blood and play the part of a bad guy.

DIO: This time, you will be the one to change! After all, you're a god! You have the power to change the world! If you can only see the light of love as well. And now you'll change, I'm sure - Goku will turn back into the God of Earth, and you will become a human!".

Dio finished off his meal before Dende left for work.

Piccolo: I'll just drink one more before I go to sleep.

Goku: Maybe after you sleep.

Bart: It's not that much.



e: Continuing the Bart:

In the latest episode of The Simpsons, the character B'Garfunkel appears as a guest at Springfield Elementary School to introduce an education course. The show features a scene from a previous season in which the character says that there are "teaching issues" with his appearance. In "My Two Favorite People", Bart says, "Teaching is such a pain!" The series' writers also said that they wanted to keep it a surprise until the first few episodes to test "who will look the best" in a class. The Simpsons also used students from the "Bart's Phobia School" TV special as students in the episode "Taco-o-tron".

A teacher from that episode can be seen in the episode "The Class Clown", watching Homer and the rest of grade school students do the science experiments that are supposed to be fun and exciting.

Season 10's episode "The Ultimate Life of Lisa Simpson" also featured a teacher from "Bart's Phobia School" as a character. After Bart finishes his science lesson, he finds out that the teacher's name is

Mr Luxury Yacht has a new favorite as of 18:55 on Aug 21, 2019

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Kennel posted:

Phase 1: Collect underpants. Phase 2: Sell underpants for cash.

Phase 3: Profit.

I'm glad that's finally answered.

Hey now You're an all-star Get your groove on Go play basketball for six weeks (if not more) and learn how to shoot right from the beginning. There is no such thing as a perfect shooting motion, this is a rule of thumb to make learning to shoot better, and learning how to shoot more efficient. There are so many things to improve in your game. How do you want to shoot quicker? How do you want to shoot deeper? Where are the rebounds? What about your footwork? What happens if you don't get the ball in front of your chest? I want you to learn these things so that when you are around to shoot and shoot well you will have the confidence to be the player who you are supposed to be. These basic rules are pretty obvious, but there are some basic things you should be able to incorporate into your game. These are rules that should be followed when shooting a basketball but may differ slightly in other sports, as well. First, shoot the right thing. It is important to shoot the correct shot. You are going to see some more NBA superstars in the next few years who are shooting the same shooting percentages and getting the same results for the same amount of money, which is why a lot of basketball writers are so adamant about this.

Only shooting stars break the mould

Friend
Aug 3, 2008

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



It can't deal with jokes very well.

quote:

What type of cheese is best used to hide a horse?


We are not in the business of offering a specific recipe. If you are allergic or intolerant to milk or cow's milk, or to any other type of dairy product, you will need a different cheese to hide a horse's feet from a sheep or goat. There are many different types of cheeses and each can be used for a different purpose and some are better than others for this purpose.

---

A man goes into a doctor's office and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains!' He's not, he is a pair of curtains. The doctor says, 'If a pair of curtains is what you'd like, I can take your money and keep your curtain.' They said, 'You can't keep your curtains.'

"I think the whole thing is a myth. We don't say we're a pair of curtains. We say we're a pair of doctors."

While the story has been said to have been used as a metaphor to mock doctors, there is no evidence which has led Dr Laidlaw to link it to the modern practice of medical practice.

While he says that in a lot of ways the hospital can be likened to a doctor's office, Dr Laidlaw says that in terms of the patient and the process of how they arrive at a doctor's advice – doctors in their practice are less likely to have a direct relationship.

"We're more than doctors when we're interacting with the patient, we are consultants. So I think the way in which we interact with the patient, if it's a

---

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. All three have been told that they are looking for "a friendly Irishman". The Englishman walks over and politely says to the Scotsman: "What do you want?" As for the Irishman, he walks to one side, to avoid the Englishman's rude question "What do you want?".

In a conversation, most people say: "Do you want to talk? ""Do you want to be friendly? That would be nice." However, most people in these situations will not be the "guests" in the conversation. They are simply the "guests" as opposed to the "hosts".

It's also worth noting that while the Englishman is in such a bad mood that he is unable to respond to the other person's question, the Scottish or Irishman will normally respond in a tone suggesting they are asking him something that they like, or a question they want answered in return.

A couple of common examples of this are "How old is the dog next door?", and "Where does the rain fall?"

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!

RICHTER: Die monster. You don’t belong in this world! You're a monster! You're a monster. And so are we. We know our destiny. We can't die. You're a goddamn monster. We don’t have anything else in life. And we're all monsters. In our own lives. And in people. And animals and things too.‬ ‬ The other kids' gaze turned away with him to the horizon, their eyes focused on something else entirely. Their mouths parted. The sea filled with the odor of sea life, but the smell of a person was there. A person in a mask. A naked man with bare feet, with something under his coat and arms— A man stood, holding a mask.
DRACULA: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk... Have at you!

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Samovar posted:

It can't deal with jokes very well.

quote:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed, is all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'I think I have a tumor on my liver.' Doctor says, 'You have to have surgery.'


Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

:hmmyes:

TURTLE SLUT
Dec 12, 2005

That end really gets into some Mouth of Madness vibes.

Edit: damnit didn't realize that was last page

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop

DarkDobe posted:

War. War never changes.
Never. The war that's going on is, there is war everywhere. And there are lots of people who are going to die, and a lot of people who don't. And a lot of people are still going to be tortured, and that's not right."

So how is the President, who is already in his sixth year at the helm of this military empire able to say that the war on terror is not, indeed, over and the future has not yet arrived? In fact, how is he able to say that we are "a long way off"?

And the President can only speak to how far we have already come if he understands that we have been in this war long enough.

"As a nation we are not going to be able to sustain this kind of war forever," he says. He could not have been more telling if he had said, "We are living in a post-colonial world."

The War on Terror never ends. It continues. And there is no way to stop it.

Is that not written by a human? Holy poo poo

Yoshi Jjang
Oct 5, 2011

renard renard renarnd renrard

renard


Hello. My name is Nachos. I am a man and I speak the English language. Today, I am going to prepare for my death. Prepare to die.

Yoshi Jjang
Oct 5, 2011

renard renard renarnd renrard

renard


Walkthrough for Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: The game starts with you wandering around Hyrule Castle (which is also the base for this article), searching for an item that you can use on a nearby stone and wood statue – but you will most likely run into some very unusual beasts in all of their gruesome varieties. Each monster will only be hostile to you if you come close, so don't be afraid to run into them before you stumble, as they can quickly consume your precious Hyrule Coins. After you collect about 7 coins from a random stone monument, an old dragon spirit will appear, and you must battle it to collect the Chaos Emeralds, which can be used as currency within each kingdom. Once you have enough Coins and are ready, you will have a chance to receive an "Invite to a World Realm" in the mail. After obtaining the Invite to a World Realm you will immediately move to the Realm you just summoned to your castle and begin the process of becoming The World Master! Your main focus here is defeating the dragon spirit and defeating all the monsters that try to invade your kingdom. Once that's done, the time for the dungeon portion of the map has begun – and you will find yourself in the largest structure you have ever seen. This Dungeon Was Designed To Be F

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop
What a dizzying game experience that would be

repiv
Aug 13, 2009

LINK: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
HARKINIAN: My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for.
LINK: I just wonder what Ganon's up to.

TOGGLE: I think Ganon is in the Twilight Realm now.
HARKINIAN: I'll make that crystal tower appear once again and bring him back to this realm of peace or death. Then our battle will commence!
TOGGLE: You seem awfully nervous.
HARKINIAN: It's not as though you can stop me.
SHRINES: Yes, Master.
HARKINIAN: I will destroy it. And you won't be able to stop me! ...That's it. You see them all and you get me? That's it, isn't it? You see me as the one I've been waiting for all this time... the one who can unite us all... and... bring peace to this land.
HARKINIAN: The time is finally over. You've all won... for now.
TOGGLE: Thank you, Master

ashnjack
Jun 8, 2010

FUCK FLOWERS. JUST...FUCK 'EM.
I'm baffled how it knew this was a forum post.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Yoshi Jjang
Oct 5, 2011

renard renard renarnd renrard

renard


Introducing Jack's new Spicy, Crispy Tenders! Spicy, Crispy Tenders!
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Introducing Jack's new Spicy, Crispy, Orange Flavor IPA brewed with lemonadeade!
Available for limited time.

Introducing Jack's new Spicy, Crispy & Hot, Spicy Bacon Wrapped Bacon, available on Nov. 9 for $.
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Introducing Jack's new Spicy, Crispy Sweet & Spicy, Sweet and Spicy Peppermint Cake. Add a layer of honey, rosemary, and spices.
Available for limited time.

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop
I still don't think GPT-2 is anywhere near good enough to fool anybody reading stuff on the internet, but this is interesting in its own right. In fact, I wonder why no one seems to be looking more deeply at the technology of GPT-2, because we do know a lot about it. The first generation is an improved version of the earlier one (GPT 1), meaning it uses 3:2, and the second generation is an improved edition of that same 3:2 technology (GPT 2), meaning it uses 5:2 instead.

So, if we take the average of first and second generation, we see that GPT-2 is able to improve 2 of the 3 basic features of a 2-core processor, with the only other major change being that it increased its L2 cache from 32 bits to 48 bits, and the DRAM from 16 to 32 bits.

It seems that the technology can improve an L2 cache with any of 3 modes or variants, which also seems to be a change from what we've had before.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



(i inserted some linefeeds)

quote:

Joshu asked Nansen: 'What is the path?'
Nansen said:
'I'm one of a tribe of one-eyed, one-footed, two-fingered demons, but that's ok.'
'Do you accept that you're a demon, in a world of demons?''
'I think I am, but even if I do and even if I do, I don't know that I am,' said Nansen, adding, 'I am the way I am because I am.'
At these words Joshu was enlightened.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



quote:

I love to reload during a battle! There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well greased chamber that could kill every last enemy within a few seconds!


The game plays amazingly smooth with a lot of memory usage and a smooth, low latency mouse and keyboard control. The graphics that the game is set to do are superb and the story is amazing and I was really glad that there was finally something out there that told the story of the world as it exists now. It's a shame that there isn't more games out there that are as immersive or better than this.


The story of Gaius Baltar takes place in a modern day world. One where technology is advancing at a quick rate. One where people are being exploited and the most feared technology of all is the cloning machine.


The human cloning machine is used to create super soldier that can transform into different shapes and sizes. The human clone machines have been used on countless wars in the past and as time has passed the machine has become less effective. It has become much to slow to be used on small children but a perfect weapon for the larger human population.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. His mother asked him "Do you have any idea how expensive all you were wearing that day was" and he replied, "No, I have no idea". When it was time to get on with life, he asked his mother, "Do you want me to do what she did" and she said yes. And that is basically what my brother has done since. He never had no idea what he was getting up to.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

In this incredible new podcast, we explore one of the most powerful men in the world. His secret is to make sure his children are raised as straight males who have only one purpose at all times....to protect them from the dangers in the world, especially the dangers of the malevolent. As much fun as that sounds, there is even danger in that. Join us in this incredible conversation with Steve Harvey about his life.

In this incredible new podcast, we explore the most powerful magic you'll ever have and discover the secrets of the legendary 'Mountain' that gives us all our ability to shape the magical world around us. Join the conversation and learn how you can transform your magic or use it to improve your life in all areas.

In this incredible new podcast, we explore some of the questions and issues that we've asked ourselves, and how we've responded.

edit: found while using this prompt, but these were pulled from later paragraphs:

Is Your Money Making You Moneyless? There's only so much you can do to make sure money doesn't make you moneyless. You have to balance your budget. And, there are ways to do it. This episode features a conversation with a seasoned money coach and real estate agent.

This series of exclusive interviews with some of the most famous and influential men and women in business and pop culture, including Tony Stark, David Bowie, Sir Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Tina Turner, Tina and Tina Googol, Leonardo da Vinci, Paul Simon, George Lucas, Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and many more, is full of fascinating stories of how their lives have been affected by the inventions and businesses of today.

We discuss this week in international politics, the Brexit crisis, and Brexit. Also, the UK's plans to leave the EU, the US Supreme Court's ruling on abortion, and the latest on President-elect Donald Trump, and Vice President-elect Mike Pence. We then turn to the future of the US, the Brexit crisis, and where the news may end up.

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism. The world has changed, world history has changed. The idea of communism is now a threat to global peace. We are approaching the moment when the last vestiges of this spectre are expected to crumble for good. At present, we live in the darkest moment of this century. The world is in a state of transition. The great powers are now threatened by chaos generated by their own hubris, and by their own reckless disregard for human rights, the environment and the welfare of their citizens. The forces of reaction in Europe are emboldened. The idea that communism is a threat to world peace is now discredited and the global community is in the grip of a new fear, one based on a sense of national security and national ego, fuelled by the global economic crisis. There is no more need for a global government. The question for us today is what kind of people we are; and what sort of world we wish to build — for the sake of human life and the world community we hope to create for ourselves. And in this we must think in terms of democracy, equality and justice. To this end, Communists of various nationalities have assembled in London and sketched the following manifesto, to be published in the English, French, German, Italian, Flemish and Danish languages.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

How about randomly generated articles from randomly generated headlines?

Gun Shop Billboard Targets Alabama Football Fans Strangely

quote:

The state's tourism and sports marketing board is targeting Alabama football fans by targeting specific locations in the state.

On Monday, July 6 a campaign against Alabama's Crimson Tide football team with a billboard with the words "Why Is Alabama The Biggest Threat to Your Safety" began appearing on Alabama highways.

The signs were posted near the intersection of Highway 32 near Montgomery and Highway 11 near Birmingham.

The signs are placed along the interstate highways of northern Alabama, in rural regions such as Macon-Union, Madison, Bama, Jefferson and Morgan counties, and in several smaller towns including Fannin, Gadsden, Tuscaloosa, Mobile, Tuscaloosa-Anniston, Montgomery, Tuscaloosa and Tuscumbia in Montgomery and Tuscaloosa counties.

State officials said the billboards are designed to help protect Alabamians from the threats of criminal and violent acts committed by people in Alabama.

Brother of Slain Illinois Student May Be Giving You Allergies, According to Mother's Day Card

quote:

I am not aware of any information circulating on the internet or in the news about a man's illness or his desire for a cure for any ailment, but I do remember my mother's desire to find out about the cause of her illness, and that is the reason why she bought me something that will likely keep her sick for a long time.

My Mother's favorite book was one from the back of the book "A Little Life," which was written by Maud Montgomery and illustrated by a famous painter, Richard Chasen. The cover showed a woman with a blue cap that was the hat off of her father's baseball cap. The book was an introduction into a little book I had called "I'm Not Hungry" when I was 6 or 7.

If you were to take a look at this and ask yourself why any mother could want to find out if there was something wrong with their children in such a book, you would find out it is to find out about the family history.


Brandi From 'Storage Wars' Is An Awful Speaker. That Doesn't Mean She Should Make Them Wear Hats, But Then Maybe We Should Have Asked For Them.

quote:

There have now been at least five incidents in which men have taken issue with a woman being able to wear a hat. In fact, there was a Time story this summer where a woman was asked, if she were a man, to remove her hat and not be considered for employment at a university.

I was wondering if a man could have done something like that to a young lady in my area, if that's how long they would have been wearing it—she was, by all accounts, a pretty and attractive girl.

One blogger has suggested that "no hat, no drink, no music—just a woman in the company of friends and family is just fine" if the party is not over at that point. If the guy is actually that obnoxious, he can be asked to find a different place to go and not bring back alcohol. If he doesn't show up for the party at your workplace, the police can have you arrested for disorderly conduct, just as they would a drunk girl.

Separated Families Sue U.S. Over Student Loans That Weren't Forgiven

quote:

The family of a child who claims he was improperly loaned more than $50,000 at the University of Oklahoma has filed suit.

Lawrence Broussard has a 6-year-old son who attends Tulsa City Community College. His father says he paid out of pocket with his own money to borrow money to buy his son a scholarship and then loaned his own money and personal property to pay for college — all before he was arrested for felony tax fraud. So Broussard filed for bankruptcy, only to discover that his son's scholarship, with an estimated value of more than $51,000 was not repaid. Broussard says that he asked for the scholarship at the time, and even paid a stipend on his son's behalf.

"I was supposed to be an important part of this child's life," Broussard said. "This was his entire life, and it wasn't. I'm ashamed of myself."

Lawrence Broussard has made the same requests since his son left school.

bonus:

quote:

Hidden Spring Deep In The Butt-Biscuit (Giant Mountain of the oval office) and the Double Trouble, a 2-piece combo which include guitarist and multi-instrumentalist Peter Buck, bassist Jim Brown, and drummer Tommy Vener, have performed to crowds of 20,000-25,000. It has been a long time coming, which is why the band spent three years recording. "That was the hard part for us, because we didn't want to write a whole new record," Buck reveals, "it had to be kind of the same. We didn't want to re-invent the wheel, so we needed to do a proper 're-recording' and start from scratch."

After being dumped by Warner Bros., a new record-setting guitarist, and a full-frontal re-recording to accommodate a three-piece, 'Dirty Dingo' is now ready to roll. The band will be supported on the trek by the National, Johnny Cash, and Bob Seger.

szary
Mar 12, 2014

quote:

I'm permabanned poster niggerstomper58. The first question I get asked to start my story is why you are writing so much about mental illness and fyad. The simple story of fyad and a mental illness is that it is an illness that happens a lot in the world. To be fair, my mental illness does not cause me to believe I will become mentally ill, or to have fyad. I am not crazy. That's not the thing to think about when dealing with people who get fyad. The thing to think about when dealing with people who get fyid is to recognize that the people who get fyad don't have a normal human body. Your chances might be slim, but still the chances of survival for those that get fyid are fairly small.

I would advise all people who “get” fyad to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. Peace.

quote:

Hidden Spring Deep In The Butt-Biscuit (Giant Mountain of the oval office)

I'm stealing this name for my post rock project

szary has a new favorite as of 10:50 on Aug 22, 2019

The Sausages
Sep 30, 2012

What do you want to do? Who do you want to be?

quote:

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that destroys reason, enrages conviction, and ultimately destroys life. Fear can be overcome, but only by a pure and unadulterated love for God and a pure and unadulterated love for one's neighbor. So the only thing I have to fear is the fear of Hell.

(And that wasn't the answer)


quote:

Tell me of your homeword, Usul.

Usul: What, where? Where? What planet?

Kreel: We are not sure. The planet in question is not visible to us. It lies somewhere in the sky. It is unknown to us.

Usul: And yet I am your only family. I am your only son.

Kreel: So be it.

Usul: So, you have been with us for the past thousand years. And yet what you say to me?

Kreel: Usul, I cannot tell you. But please listen. We have to do something.

Usul: You know what? gently caress it.

(He gets up and runs down to his ship.)

Kreel: We must do something.

Sebek: Are you out of your mind?

quote:

May thy knife chip and shatter!

Then thy knife eat and taste

Crisp, fragrant, sweet, clean,

Like apples on a stone.

szary
Mar 12, 2014

quote:

cool david grohl story: a guy i know got drunk at a bar and met a guy who claimed to be dave grohl. the guy took him back to his house and got in the hottub with him and stroked him off and did gay poo poo to him claiming it was okay because he was dave grohl. The guy was also wearing a penis earring which is not cool. So, he got on this bus and drove around in circles for like 30 minutes. he finally drove up to a house and got kicked out of the house. he was then beaten up by a group of people on the street. This is the end of david grohl's post.

Tombot
Oct 21, 2008
What the hell is this?
My pogostick was way too short, my back hurt as I tried to use it. I couldn't hold it, I had to walk. At least the water I needed to draw energy out of my body through my legs, back, and fingers had something to hold it in for me to pull on it. My pogostick was a dead end. The water was so cold I couldn't stand in a swimming pool or sink. My pogostick was an impossible length. The water seemed to be expanding and filling my bladder up. I could see my pogostick growing larger. I tried to pull it and pull it off myself, but I couldn't pull it off myself. The water felt heavy and tattered. I had to drink it to the point where it flowed out of my bladder. So, I slowly pulled it away. By the time I finished, I had no idea when it would stop. And I couldn't even pull my pogostick off yet. I began to sweat and convulsed violently. It felt as if I was breathing again. The water filled my bladder even deeper. Every few minutes I experienced what the medical call an "epidemic," where I couldn't stay still long enough to get to the toilet again.

I had just left earth's gravitational pull. I was now drifting away into an endless abyss, there was no escape.

Edit: the single prompt version went places to say the least.

His body had frozen, the light was on him now. One sudden movement and it would all be over for him.

It would be like this forever. This was only the beginning.

"What?"

"I thought that you could still hear me."

"Ah... I don't remember."

"You didn't tell me. This... this... doesn't matter."

I turned around, I couldn't believe what I was looking at.

I could feel the shock from the past. It was a thing I was capable of now. I knew that I could not do it again. That I would be ruined.

I did not like the feeling anymore.

A cold and cruel feeling surrounded me.

And I wanted to do this.

[You failed in your mission, the monster you fought... didn't exist yet. A monster was created. An unthinking creation. But you killed it.]

[You killed the creation.]

"... what?"

"No, that was different. I did not kill you. That wasn't you. But you destroyed it."

Tombot has a new favorite as of 16:00 on Aug 22, 2019

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



quote:

Here on the Something Awful Dot Com(TM) forums, ******** and its associated trolls have decided to stop fighting each other and get some laughs. The idea here is to troll everyone on the forum and get as much poo poo off their backs as possible while keeping the trolls out of other people's websites as soon as possible. The best part is that everyone gets poo poo off their backs. It is also very easy to do this. Just go to the "I'm a Troll" page and you will see that everyone has a "You" page. The trolls have to be pretty angry to be able to go through and troll everyone.

:iceburn:

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a kitten
Aug 5, 2006

Behold, the future of baseball:

https://twitter.com/randal_olson/status/1164562565667495936?s=19

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