August 2019 Current Events Thread: It's Hot and Everything Sucks

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August 2019 Current Events Thread: It's Hot and Everything Sucks

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Old Boot: May 9, 2012; Buglord

Not a day goes by that I don't feel like I'm losing my mind.

Or that I'm dying, and that the slow erosion of reality will eventually end in a bittersweet chat with Danny Aiello.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 13:52

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 18:25

Woodchip: Mar 28, 2010

Good news, Brazillians are ready to work!

https://twitter.com/Alexander_Lees/status/1163493824905252864

# ? Aug 22, 2019 13:57

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Woodchip posted:

Good news, Brazillians are ready to work!

https://twitter.com/Alexander_Lees/status/1163493824905252864

by that measure so is California

# ? Aug 22, 2019 14:03

Laranzu: Jan 18, 2002

FAUXTON posted:

by that measure so is California

Who knew all those arsonists throughout history were just trying to show their work ethic?

# ? Aug 22, 2019 14:06

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Old Boot posted:

Not a day goes by that I don't feel like I'm losing my mind.

Or that I'm dying, and that the slow erosion of reality will eventually end in a bittersweet chat with Danny Aiello.

If you see a young Macaulay Culkin trying to guide you up some stairs, you�re probably right and might as well get real weird with your last hours on Earth.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 14:13

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Laranzu posted:

Who knew all those arsonists throughout history were just trying to show their work ethic?

bunch of real self-starters

# ? Aug 22, 2019 15:19

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

FAUXTON posted:

bunch of real self-starters

Boooooooooo

# ? Aug 22, 2019 15:44

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Laranzu posted:

Who knew all those arsonists throughout history were just trying to show their work ethic?

Probably a :thejoke:

moment here, but burning down forest is probably the least labor intensive way to clear new land for agriculture, including ranching. This is obviously horrific for the environment when done on an industrial scale but the underlying idea isn't just absurd.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 15:52

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

whats going on with michael jackson all
of a sudden

edit: his rep is about to speak, its been 10 years today since he died, and theres a statement that was mandated for today???

Nostalgia4Butts fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Aug 22, 2019

# ? Aug 22, 2019 15:54

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

https://twitter.com/AnthonyMKreis/status/1164536240756133894?s=19

Find the spot when this brief goes from normal to CRAZYFUCK BANANAS

"mutated"

# ? Aug 22, 2019 16:07

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

whats going on with michael jackson all
of a sudden

edit: his rep is about to speak, its been 10 years today since he died, and theres a statement that was mandated for today???

The estate of MJ is in a legal battle with HBO over the recent documentary

# ? Aug 22, 2019 16:11

Suicide Watch: Sep 8, 2009

Hyperdrive on Netflix is pretty amazing, I just binged all 10 episodes of it

# ? Aug 22, 2019 16:17

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

The estate of MJ is in a legal battle with HBO over the recent documentary

Is it just me or is it kinda weird that you can sue someone from beyond the grave

# ? Aug 22, 2019 16:46

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

https://www.politico.com/amp/story/2019/08/21/donald-trump-give-himself-medal-of-honor-1470950

For some reason i thought he wouldn't think of doing that. I was wrong

# ? Aug 22, 2019 16:50

Plastic_Gargoyle: Aug 3, 2007

Stravag posted:

https://www.politico.com/amp/story/2019/08/21/donald-trump-give-himself-medal-of-honor-1470950

For some reason i thought he wouldn't think of doing that. I was wrong

Just for reference, here's the citation for the MoH recipient he said this in front of

quote:

The President of the United States in the name of The Congress takes pleasure in presenting the

MEDAL OF HONOR
to
CORPORAL HERSHEL W. WILLIAMS
UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS RESERVE

for service as set forth in the following
CITATION:
For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty as Demolition Sergeant serving with the First Battalion, Twenty-First Marines, Third Marine Division, in action against enemy Japanese forces on Iwo Jima, Volcano Island, 23 February 1945. Quick to volunteer his services when our tanks were maneuvering vainly to open a lane for the infantry through the network of reinforced concrete pillboxes, buried mines and black, volcanic sands, Corporal Williams daringly went forward alone to attempt the reduction of devastating machine-gun fire from the unyielding positions. Covered only by four riflemen, he fought desperately for four hours under terrific enemy small-arms fire and repeatedly returned to his own lines to prepare demolition charges and obtain serviced flame throwers, struggling back, frequently to the rear of hostile emplacements, to wipe out one position after another. On one occasion he daringly mounted a pillbox to insert the nozzle of his flame thrower through the air vent, kill the occupants and silence the gun; on another he grimly charged enemy riflemen who attempted to stop him with bayonets and destroyed them with a burst of flame from his weapon. His unyielding determination and extraordinary heroism in the face of ruthless enemy resistance were directly instrumental in neutralizing one of the most fanatically defended Japanese strong points encountered by his regiment and aided in enabling his company to reach its' [sic] objective. Corporal Williams' aggressive fighting spirit and valiant devotion to duty throughout this fiercely contested action sustain and enhance the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service.

He stood up on front of a guy who, just to use one little detail, countercharged a bayonet charge with a flamethrower and said "I wish I could give myself one of them medals you got."

Plastic_Gargoyle fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Aug 22, 2019

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:07

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

Somehow it was worse than i imagined. Jesus gently caress

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:12

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Quick reminder that like, yesterday, he turned to the sky and said he was "the chosen one" which, if all American Christians weren't raging loving hypocrites, they would recognize as a fairly specific phrase.

But it's cool he's not actually senile with delusions of grandeur from lifelong narcissism, he's merely taking the mantle of the son of God to trigger the libs and that's just fine. Since, like, what's more important when you really get down to it, mocking political enemies or hijacking the rhetoric of the country's supposed "religion"?

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:21

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Yeah I've become accustomed to a lot of stupid poo poo over the last three years, but American Christians literally (LITERALLY) following the antichrist really takes the cake.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:46

Eej: Jun 17, 2007; HEAVYARMS

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/1164556075766620160?s=19

Cost effective debt collection service

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:49

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

bird food bathtub posted:

Quick reminder that like, yesterday, he turned to the sky and said he was "the chosen one"

I watched that video clip.. is it possible to have no opinion on something because it's so broken your brain can't compute it? That's what happened to me.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 17:55

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

FAUXTON posted:

bunch of real self-starters

Icon Of Sin posted:

Boooooooooo

You might call them prodigies.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 18:50

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Hexyflexy posted:

I watched that video clip.. is it possible to have no opinion on something because it's so broken your brain can't compute it? That's what happened to me.

Link it!

# ? Aug 22, 2019 18:56

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

LingcodKilla posted:

Link it!

That happened yesterday, that 8 news cycles ago in our dumb, new era

# ? Aug 22, 2019 18:59

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

LingcodKilla posted:

Link it!

Ask and ye shall receive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js4wcaPqSow

I'd recommend having a beer before watching that.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 19:05

Notahippie: Feb 4, 2003; Kids, it's not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth

Doc Hawkins posted:

https://twitter.com/caseytolan/status/1164352917056323584

Notably missing Puerto Rico.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 19:11

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Nick Soapdish posted:

That happened yesterday, that 8 news cycles ago in our dumb, new era

Oh I thought he did it a second time.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 19:13

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

LingcodKilla posted:

Oh I thought he did it a second time.

That is an annoyingly reasonable assumption.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 19:15

Cyks: Mar 17, 2008; The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

I recall "Trump was sent by God" being a thing said by his core base for years now so to me Trump saying what he did barely raises an eyebrow.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 20:28

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/22/business/overstock-ceo-patrick-byrne-resigns/index.html

quote:

New York(CNN Business)The outspoken CEO of online home goods retailer Overstock.com resigned Thursday, days after he issued a press release entitled "Comments on Deep State" that claimed he helped the FBI carry out "political espionage."

The strange post from longtime Overstock chief Patrick Byrne triggered a steep decline in Overstock's stock price last week. The company's stock price later recovered, and it surged more than 10% Thursday on news of Byrne's exit.

In a letter Byrne issued Thursday, he stated that he is "already far too controversial to serve as CEO" and chose to step away after 20 years so that his presence wouldn't affect Overstock's business.

Byrne had said in an August 12 press release that he helped the FBI's "'Clinton Investigation' and the 'Russian Investigation'" — "operating under the belief that I was helping legitimate law enforcement efforts." He also claimed he "put the pieces" together in mid-2018 and realized the investigations amounted to "political espionage" against the 2016 US presidential candidates. Byrne said he decided to speak to journalists about his involvement this summer after discussing it with his rabbi.

"Coming forward publicly about my involvement in other matters was hardly my first choice," Byrne wrote in the letter about his resignation. "I now plan on leaving things to the esteemed Department of Justice (which I have doubtless already angered enough by going public) and disappearing for some time."

Byrne recently admitted in a series of interviews that he had an intimate relationship with accused Russian agent Maria Butina, which lasted from 2015 to 2018, and ultimately assisted law enforcement in their investigation of her.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 20:59

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

oh, he got caught with his dick in the honeypot

# ? Aug 22, 2019 21:40

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

oh, he got caught with his dick in the honeypot

Who didn't, at this point? :v:

# ? Aug 22, 2019 21:50

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Icon Of Sin posted:

Who didn't, at this point?

poo poo....

# ? Aug 22, 2019 21:54

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

crack ping

# ? Aug 22, 2019 21:55

LongDarkNight: Oct 25, 2010; It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.; Oven Wrangler

poo poo sucks so hard at this point I'd sell out my country for a fifth of vodka and some sack time with a hot Russian spy.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 22:34

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

LongDarkNight posted:

poo poo sucks so hard at this point I'd sell out my country for a fifth of vodka and some sack time with a hot Russian spy.

Well that's more than your president got

# ? Aug 22, 2019 22:49

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

I literally had a panic dream about Trump chasing and eating a pigeon.on live TV. Is this how crazy political cartoons get made? Where I put a bunch of labels on my anxieties on different pieces of the scene?

gently caress I need to sleep.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 22:51

GoGoGadget: Apr 29, 2006

Wasabi the J posted:

I literally had a panic dream about Trump chasing and eating a pigeon.on live TV. Is this how crazy political cartoons get made? Where I put a bunch of labels on my anxieties on different pieces of the scene?

gently caress I need to sleep.

As the dementia gets worse, this may become a reality.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 23:00

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

Wasabi the J posted:

I literally had a panic dream about Trump chasing and eating a pigeon.on live TV. Is this how crazy political cartoons get made? Where I put a bunch of labels on my anxieties on different pieces of the scene?

gently caress I need to sleep.

The way things keep going, this might actually happen.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 23:14

Woodchip: Mar 28, 2010

Wasabi the J posted:

I literally had a panic dream about Trump chasing and eating a pigeon.on live TV. Is this how crazy political cartoons get made? Where I put a bunch of labels on my anxieties on different pieces of the scene?

gently caress I need to sleep.

he is the pigeon one, the dove of judea, the squab of vinland

# ? Aug 22, 2019 23:14

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 18:25

Oxygenpoisoning: Feb 21, 2006

His base will pass off the eating of said pigeon of just a joke.

# ? Aug 22, 2019 23:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August 2019 Current Events Thread: It's Hot and Everything Sucks

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