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Sagebrush posted:no, shut up, this is the thread for stupid posts only I mean I had a bit of a complex when I found out 7" was a fair amount above average because I got really afraid I was being mindful for nothing
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Aug 26, 2019 06:51
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goethe.cx posted:if his wife had found messages where he said "i wish her pussy was tighter but it's fine", she'd probably be upset People should really stop talking about their partners like their poor bodies are option packages on a loving car. It's just not kind.
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Aug 26, 2019 06:52
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FAUXTON posted:I developed a lot of good listening habits in my adolescence and early adult life due to a gross overestimation of "average size" and I'd venture to say outside some real wide boundaries, size is all but meaningless in lieu of actually being attentive and making an effort I learned early on that if you ignore everything someone says and instead continue an imaginary conversation in your head where they deferred to and complimented you people would just roll with it and let you aggrandize yourself, and like you for it. And that is why I now manage CUM, a financial advisory firm with $100 trillion in capital under management.
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Aug 26, 2019 06:52
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I have a big dick and I cry myself to sleep at night.
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Aug 26, 2019 06:52
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MasBrillante posted:She didn’t say it was too small. She said sometimes she wishes it were bigger. Sometimes. I disagree that it is reasonable to find this to be earth shattering, even if you are socialIzed to do so. This is not the same as i agree that finding it "earth shattering" is too much. but is being even a bit upset by it an overreaction? "sometimes i wish my wife's vagina was tighter." "sometimes i wish my wife was skinnier." "sometimes i wish my wife's boobs were bigger/perkier." if you saw that your partner had said those things to someone, you would be perfectly unbothered by it? if so you're more stoic than 99% of people
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Aug 26, 2019 06:52
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cumshitter posted:I learned early on that if you ignore everything someone says and instead continue an imaginary conversation in your head where they deferred to and complimented you people would just roll with it and let you aggrandize yourself, and like you for it. And that is why I now manage CUM, a financial advisory firm with $100 trillion in capital under management. to be fair to your strategy it's probably difficult to carry on a respectful and equitable dialogue with a client when business is being conducted through the business hole
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Aug 26, 2019 06:56
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spite house posted:This is the better referent to telling a guy his dick is too small, not telling a woman her boobs aren't big enough. Small boobs have plenty of avid fans, whereas having a little knob or a cavernous vajay is supposed to be both an insurmountable obstacle and a source of profound shame per the dominant cultural narrative. 
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Aug 26, 2019 06:57
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goethe.cx posted:i agree that finding it "earth shattering" is too much. but is being even a bit upset by it an overreaction? "sometimes i wish my wife's vagina was looser." "sometimes i wish my wife was skinnier." "sometimes i wish my wife's boobs were bigger/perkier." if you saw that your partner had said those things to someone, you would be perfectly unbothered by it? if so you're more stoic than 99% of people I am actually married and I don’t think it’s stoic to be able to recognize that you and your partner are human beings and not perfect. As an ED recovered person, it is actually very comforting to know that my partner is capable of distinguishing between idealizations (it would be hot if my wife lost ten pounds) and current reality (I love my life’s body because I love my wife). I genuinely don’t think it’s healthy to not be able to express the pros and cons of your sexual relationship with your partner and penis or vagina size can be part of that. It’s annoying to have to defend myself against MISANDRY because I think a husband who divorces his wife over a perfectly normal thought is throwing his marriage in the trash because of ego. Saying that is empathetic instead of actually a really awful thing to do to someone who loves you and said one (unintentionally) hurtful thing is to me the same as conceding that this is earth shattering. Edit to remove all the times I thumbed enter randomly in the middle of a sentence. MasBrillante fucked around with this message at 07:07 on Aug 26, 2019 |
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Aug 26, 2019 06:59
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FAUXTON posted:I mean I had a bit of a complex when I found out 7" was a fair amount above average because I got really afraid I was being mindful for nothing i have an enormous penus and so like when someone on xbox live is trash talking about how he's gonna show my mom his extra large 6.5" dick i have a hearty lol at his pitiful worldview but don't worry, even if you have the long wang there are still dozens of other parameters to worry about : girth, taper, straightness, color, complexion, texture, etc
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Aug 26, 2019 07:04
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MasBrillante posted:I am actually married and I don’t think it’s stoic to be able to recognize that you and your partner are human beings and not perfect. As an ED recovered person, it is actually very comforting to know that my partner is capable of distinguishing between idealizations (it would be hot if my wife lost ten pounds) and current reality (I love my life’s body because I love my wife). and again, i don't think anyone here is saying that divorce is a reasonable response. just that most people in his position would be hurt by what they read. it sounds like you and your spouse have a healthy approach to this kind of thing that unfortunately most people do not. i can guarantee you that none of the women i've dated would be remotely ok with me having issues with their vagina size lol. maybe that's not healthy but in my experience it's how people operate
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Aug 26, 2019 07:07
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MasBrillante posted:I am actually married and I don’t think it’s stoic to be able to recognize that you and your partner are human beings and not perfect. As an ED recovered person, it is actually very comforting to know that my partner is capable of distinguishing between idealizations (it would be hot if my wife lost ten pounds) and current reality (I love my life’s body because I love my wife). not to mention there are plenty of options that can make both parties happy in that respect, as long as they're open with each other and able to make peace with the fact that the world doesn't revolve around flesh  it's right up there with people who take the realization that their partner has a vibrator as though they were cheating on them.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:13
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goethe.cx posted:and again, i don't think anyone here is saying that divorce is a reasonable response. just that most people in his position would be hurt by what they read. it sounds like you and your spouse have a healthy approach to this kind of thing that unfortunately most people do not. i can guarantee you that none of the women i've dated would be remotely ok with me having issues with their vagina size lol. maybe that's not healthy but in my experience it's how people operate And I’m not saying women wouldn’t care or cry over it. I am saying that women are not socialized to expect men to play into the pretense that they have the best pussy ever. In fact we are socialized to assume that every other pussy is better and we’d better learn how to make up for it by compromising as much as possible to keep a man satisfied with the burden of male monogamy. And feminists recognize and push back against that socialization because it’s harmful to everyone. The male analog would be resisting this idea that men can have a perfect penis. And I think part of that is accepting that sex is not something you give your partner with your dick; therefore it need not meet some magical threshold at which your lady simply can’t imagine better. Anyway, I want this to be my last post on this. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 26, 2019 07:15
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Sagebrush posted:but don't worry, even if you have the long wang there are still dozens of other parameters to worry about : girth, taper, straightness, color, complexion, texture, etc 100% agree size is mostly a myth and a really toxic measure of self worth, penetration alone is like listening to only the violin solo from Venus and thinking you've heard Holst's Planets suite.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:22
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FAUXTON posted:I developed a lot of good listening habits in my adolescence and early adult life due to a gross overestimation of "average size" and I'd venture to say outside some real wide boundaries, size is all but meaningless in lieu of actually being attentive and making an effort FAUXTON posted:I mean I had a bit of a complex when I found out 7" was a fair amount above average because I got really afraid I was being mindful for nothing I feel like I’m having a stroke, what the gently caress is this dude talking about and why is he writing like this? One would assume he’s trying to humblebrag about his dick or something? but his style of communication is just so weird... or the point he is trying to make is so stupid... my brain just panics and all of a sudden I’m smelling burnt toast
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Aug 26, 2019 07:22
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Page and a half of dick posts well done all.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:25
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FAUXTON posted:100% agree size is mostly a myth and a really toxic measure of self worth, penetration alone is like listening to only the violin solo from Venus and thinking you've heard Holst's Planets suite. Penetration alone makes you start wondering why he arranged them out of order and put Mars and Venus before Mercury?
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Aug 26, 2019 07:30
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Pirate Radar posted:Penetration alone makes you start wondering why he arranged them out of order and put Mars and Venus before Mercury? everyone has different priorities
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Aug 26, 2019 07:35
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Like Planets, good sex does require doing things in the right order; no matter what you see in porn, people in real life don’t like to hear, “sorry I skipped the beginning bits, darling, but I was in a hurry to get to Uranus”
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Aug 26, 2019 07:38
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MasBrillante posted:
Good, please shut the gently caress up. You contribute nothing to any conversation.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:39
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FAUXTON posted:to be fair to your strategy it's probably difficult to carry on a respectful and equitable dialogue with a client when business is being conducted through the business hole Actually, the As paradoxical as it is, when a client is reduced to the length and girth of their phallic member Certified Financial Planner Professionals® are able to provide more objective advice that helps that penis achieve its financial goals. Whether that is retiring at 50 and enjoying a simple life of hunting and fishing or maintaining a lifestyle the penis is accustomed to in retirement, including being able to fly out to every graduation for every grandchild in a large family, the results are the same: by focusing on the penis, CFP® professionals are better able to advise, instruct, and guide our clients to better fiscal outcomes. By focusing on the penis, a CFP®'s clients become more relatable, and more human. But it also provides an, ideally, six and a half inch distance which allows for objective judgment on their financial situation so that they can reach financial goals which are important to them.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:47
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Pirate Radar posted:Like Planets, good sex does require doing things in the right order; no matter what you see in porn, people in real life don’t like to hear, “sorry I skipped the beginning bits, darling, but I was in a hurry to get to Uranus” 
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Aug 26, 2019 07:49
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I often refer prospective clients to other professionals who specialize in especially small and narrow or large and girthy cocks. I practice good financial ethics by refusing to serve penises outisde of my area of specialty, which is 573 billion microns in length to 1,117 billion microns. Or, in more relatable terms, five and three fourths of an inch to six and three quarters. It would be a breach of my professional ethics to step outside of my area of expertise, which is why I network with other professionals who specialize in insurance, estate planning, and accounting for penises of all sizes. As a CFP®, I am what you might call a financial sherpa. For your penis.
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Aug 26, 2019 07:59
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Squashing Machine posted:Then it's doubly sad because you're telling men how they should feel about things that you obviously don't have a personal stake or grasp on. The context is a man snooping on a private conversation and then beginning divorce proceedings over his wife saying that his dick is perfect most of the time but not always. By saying that we shouldn't tell him that he's overreacting, you're expressing an expectation that women should never describe a penis as anything less than perfect, not even in private conversation, because even the mildest criticism might completely destroy their partner's ego. I think you're not intending to do that, but like I said: the context is pretty bad. So why can't the stated expectation from this story instead be "let's continue trying to teach men that size actually isn't the most important thing ever" or "don't snoop on private conversations" or "men should learn to accept that no penis is perfect (except maybe cumshitter's but not in the woman-pleasing way unless you're super into Lovecraftian horror)"? Of course anyone would be upset to hear a partner criticizing their appearance or physical characteristics in private. But I don't think that I've ever been with a partner where physical criticisms were completely off-limits, and I sure as gently caress wouldn't get divorced over a comment that summarizes to "almost perfect", and I'm sure you can agree that the OP is overreacting here. I actually think that it's pretty normal for adults to have these kinds of conversations, there have been plenty of threads posted over "how do I get my SO to change X in a tactful way".
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Aug 26, 2019 08:02
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Here, on topic quote:AITA for asking my mother to stop saying "Give me the D" and "I need the D"
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Aug 26, 2019 08:25
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teen witch posted:but after a couple of holes everything was back to normal after reading a rant about someone's unfortunate phrasing i could not help but cackle at this  EDIT: btw gently caress golf and anyone who plays it I Said No fucked around with this message at 08:39 on Aug 26, 2019 |
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Aug 26, 2019 08:32
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The idea of a small old lady screaming “GIMME THE D! I NEED THE D!” across a fancy golf course is so goddamn endearing.
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Aug 26, 2019 08:41
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Wanna stuff some holes full of balls with that lady
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Aug 26, 2019 08:43
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Pinecone Sample posted:If somebody says a corn in a husk is a sandwich I'm going to beat your rear end a Pinecone Sample is a sandwich
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Aug 26, 2019 09:03
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AITA for asking my girlfriend to cover up her body hair (pubes) at a public pool? My girlfriend doesn’t remove any of her body hair anymore. I respect this choice and have never had any problem with it. Her body hair doesn’t grow very long and it isn’t glaringly noticeable unless you are very close to her. We are currently on vacation in Vegas. We are planning to go to encore beach club. For those who have never heard of it, it is a very pretentious clubby space where your apparennce matters. They have a dress code and are notorious for only letting in ‘attractivene’ people. Women go there in bikinis with high heels and a full face of makeup for example. My girlfriend was getting ready to go and I noticed that she put on a bikini. Normally, i’d Not think twice about this. She works out a lot and has a good body and everything so she does look very good in a bikini. The thing is, since she no longer removes her body hair it means she has hair growing outside of the bikini line area. So when she wears a bikini, the hair on the side shows because it grows somewhere that isn’t covered. Her hair isn’t super thick or long or anything, but she is pale has black hair so it’s noticeable. On top of that the bikini she chose is a bright highlighter pink color. When I saw this is nicely pointed out to her that her hair was kind of obvious and suggested that instead she wear one if her swimsuits that has shorts instead. She said ‘no’ that she was good with the bikini she chose. Then as a compromise i asked if she could at least put on a black bikini bottom instead of the pink one. This led to a minor argument. She believes I’m being unreasonable by asking her to hide body hair that she has naturally. She pointed out that I’m not going to wear long pants even though I have very hairy legs. I think that I’m being normal and that’s it’s weird for people to have their pubes showing in public. I pointed out that I’m not asking her to hide body hair in any unreasonable places (I said nothing about her underarms/leg hair). I said that the equivalent would not be me wearing long pants but wearing a speedo where my pubes poke out on the sides. I said that in that situation she would also be fair to ask me to wear board shorts instead. We are now at an impasse and decided to leave it to you all to decide which of us is right. Should she cover up or should I support her decision not to?
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Aug 26, 2019 09:09
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AITA for telling my family why my mother and I are in a fight rather than "protecting" her? An important detail to know before I tell the actual story is that my husband's mother (we'll call my husband John) is an addict in recovery. She has been clean for 3 years now, but struggled with addiction for almost a decade and lost custody of her children for over a year before getting clean. She's done a lot to turn her life around, and to stay clean. It is amazing. Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, while on the phone, my mother asked me why I was so "hyper". I told her that I'd drank part of a Monster earlier. She got PISSED. She asked why I'd put that into my body and told me how awful it is for health. I told her that in my 25 years, I've had about 2 and a half Monsters, and that I'm not worried about it. She pointed out that I smoke cannabis, so I obviously prefer the "downer" feeling. I pointed out that I also love espresso so it just depends on my mood, to which she said "Well... Why don't you just smoke crack like John's mom, then?" I told her that what she said wasn't okay and hung up on her. She texted me that I was overreacting because she was just stating a fact (his mother WAS an addict, after all) and that she'd await my apology. I honestly thought that she'd come around, but when she hadn't after over a week I started answering questions from my husband, siblings, aunts/uncles, and cousins. I told the truth. My dad called me today to tell me that it was inappropriate for me to share our fight, and that I should have kept it between us so as not to humiliate her. I don't know... I think that it's good for her to feel embarrassed about what she said. AITA, here? Edit for information: I hadn't talked to my siblings, aunts/uncles, or cousins about our fight until they started asking me questions about it over a week later. They wouldn't have known about the fight, at all, unless my mother had mentioned it to them. At that point, my options were to either lie to their faces or tell them the truth. https://twitter.com/majtague/status/1053819711010627585
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Aug 26, 2019 09:13
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La Brea Carpet posted:We talking about big weenies? lol, they should murder suicide the whole family
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Aug 26, 2019 09:28
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My (27m) girlfriend's (26f) obsession with eggs is damaging our relationshipquote:Gf and i have been together for about 6 months and so far it's been great but she is obsessed with eating eggs and leaves every form of egg waste everywhere (shells, whites, yolks, egg cups, egg slicers etc.) commenter posted:idk man I'd recommend not dating stoats or similar egg fiending animals for a start.
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Aug 26, 2019 09:40
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teen witch posted:The idea of a small old lady screaming “GIMME THE D! I NEED THE D!” across a fancy golf course is so goddamn endearing. Yeah, Vaguely Dirty-Mouth Golfer Meemaw is my new hero. She should break into dirtball guy's house and start teeing off
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Aug 26, 2019 09:40
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Gluten Freeman posted:My (27m) girlfriend's (26f) obsession with eggs is damaging our relationship Well... that's a new one. Her farts must be epic.
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Aug 26, 2019 09:43
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MarcusSA posted:Well... that's a new one. just full-on volcanic caldera, gates of hell type farts
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Aug 26, 2019 09:46
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Eggs are one of my absolute favorite foods, but holy poo poo four to fifteen a day?
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Aug 26, 2019 09:55
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I swear that one's come up before and the answer is clearly to ask if she is roughly 1/5 the size of a barge.
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Aug 26, 2019 10:05
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Lugubrious posted:Eggs are one of my absolute favorite foods, but holy poo poo four to fifteen a day? Weird, and shameful in their quantity
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Aug 26, 2019 10:14
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My brother apparently eats 11 completely unseasoned hard boiled egg whites for dinner every night (he feeds the 12th one of the dozen to his dog). I...think he might have an eating disorder?
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Aug 26, 2019 10:16
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Xik posted:My [29M] girlfriend [28F] started using an Adult Pacifier and generally regressing + becoming more childlike. Help? What a boss way to induct your boyfriend into your gross-rear end fetish
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Aug 26, 2019 10:25
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