/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

The Bramble posted:

I (f/25) can�t deal with autistic boyfriend (m/30) any longer and I feel terrible about it

At no point in this story does the OP describe a conversation between the two of them, or even an example of her boyfriend speaking. I can only conclude he communicates exclusively through claps, laughs, and gropes.

I work with 5-year-olds on the spectrum with more impairments than this guy and they learn these basic skills in 6 months.

I want to know if A) he's actually getting any kind of services, and B) what boundaries she sets with him, because I'd bet a not-insignificant amount of money that she caves to the sex pestering and doesn't even realize that its coerced sex.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:42

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

LadyPictureShow posted:

You mean you're not supposed to?!

E:

My(22/M) gf(26/M) has birthday today, but everything went to poo poo.

This is exhausting and hilarious at once.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:47

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Dienes posted:

I work with 5-year-olds on the spectrum with more impairments than this guy and they learn these basic skills in 6 months.

I want to know if A) he's actually getting any kind of services, and B) what boundaries she sets with him, because I'd bet a not-insignificant amount of money that she caves to the sex pestering and doesn't even realize that its coerced sex.

A too-common theme on r/relationships is men with some diagnosed mental problem who pretend "makes me an unrepetant rear end in a top hat" is on the symptom list and therefore uncontrollable, and the endlessly patient women who buy into that excuse while being constantly degraded, disgusted, humiliated, or abused by their partner. You can see from the post itself the girl makes excuses for him multiple times in her own story, saying "he can't help how he acts" and also how convinced she is that even going so far as mildly complaining about him on an anonymous forum and suggesting she's unhappy makes her some kind of autism-hating monster. It's super sad how someone's self-esteem can be so beaten down that they'll accept this kind of thing because deep down they're sure they deserve it.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:53

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

So did she get pregnant just so she could have a baby the same day as the wedding?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:53

kru: Oct 5, 2003

smashgirl eat the eggs

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:57

McGurk: Oct 20, 2004; Cuz life sucks, kids. Get it while you can.

Rubellavator posted:

So did she get pregnant just so she could have a baby the same day as the wedding?

Well yeah of course, now every wedding anniversary is also the kid�s birthday. A lifetime of stealing thunder!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:58

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Rubellavator posted:

So did she get pregnant just so she could have a baby the same day as the wedding?

No, the engagement was announced in November as was the pregnancy, with both in June. SIL was about 1 to 2 months pregnant already.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:59

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

FilthyImp posted:

She starts off by saying the SiL grew up spoiled and is immature. Which is like, eh

But other than that, I'm not seeing any especially demanding behavior concerning the wedding.

That's not being judgey, that's an attempt to explain her behavior. And the implication that you should never make a value judgment about someone else's pattern of behavior is pretty gross.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:01

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for not telling my atheist cousin that his mom baptised his kids behind his back?

quote:

My cousin and his wife are atheists and decided to raise their children without a specific religion. Several years ago I learned through the family grapevine that my aunt secretly had my cousin's kids baptised. The kids were very young when this happened and do not remember it.

When I found out, I was planning on telling my cousin the truth and went so far as to schedule a phone call with him to let him know (he lives far away from me). I thought he had a right to know, but my father talked me out of it. My Dad said that my aunt was just doing what she thought was right, and speaking up would probably ruin her and my cousin's relationship. I felt conflicted and stayed quiet.

Now it's years later - the kids are middle school aged and don't practice any specific religion. My aunt and cousin have a good relationship. They live several hours away from each other but see each other fairly often throughout the year.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for never speaking up? Or is it best to let sleeping dogs lie?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:07

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Your aunt is a psycho

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not telling my atheist cousin that his mom baptised his kids behind his back?

Uh, what the gently caress no, tell that dude and let him fight it out with your piece of poo poo aunt while you record it.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:09

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Mr. Lobe posted:

Oh hey look at that, someone in biz/fin is a controlling scumbag, who'da thunk it

Well, I found the titles of some of his removed posts, and from a year ago.

I'm looking for a kinky femdom relationship. Is seekingarrangement right for me? r/sugarlifestyle

Not sure where else to post this - how do I hire models in the LA area?

:thunk:

This guy sounds like an absolute scumbag for more than just 'I need to spend money on myself! I control the finances!'

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:18

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

LadyPictureShow posted:

Well, I found the titles of some of his removed posts, and from a year ago.

I'm looking for a kinky femdom relationship. Is seekingarrangement right for me? r/sugarlifestyle

Not sure where else to post this - how do I hire models in the LA area?

This guy sounds like an absolute scumbag for more than just 'I need to spend money on myself! I control the finances!'

Yeah no surprise there. The only thing that is surprising is that the teacher saw anything in him in the first place. Though, maybe it was about the money for her, but it doesn't sound like it.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:33

Ebola Roulette: Sep 13, 2010; No matter what you ~~win~~ ~~lose~~ ragepiss.

Lol this was posted in personal finance but it seemed appropriate here. Remember that goon who carried a printer? Now, instead of a printer, make it a trailer.

Help: Long Story, but is there a solid way to stop repossession of a friend's mobile home that's behind on payments? posted:

So back in January I helped a girl out of a really awful situation. There was some romantic inclination, but I would have done it anyways as it was the right thing to do. She just got out of an awful, abusive relationship, had nothing to her name as he was kind of financially abusing her as well, other than her car which was in very poor repair, and the giant behemoth of mobile home which she hadn't fully paid off. She had some actually good family on the other side of the country that was willing to help her out until she got back on her feet, so we kind of hatched a plan to get her "home." To a home at least so she could try to rebuild and I wouldn't have to watch her suffer for a half a year longer than she would need to.

I found the only company that had trucks that could move this behemoth trailer. I told them the situation and they were willing to help me out with a slightly older truck as literally no one else had trucks capable, or were able to allow for drop off at different locations (shout out to enterprise truck rental, btw.) I took a flight down, I picked up the truck, drove to her, hitched it to her trailer, and I learned to drive this thing on a hellish 2 day roadtrip. She drove her car up, which just barely made it as the heat crapped out basically as soon as we got to her destination. I wouldn't have been able to drive her car as it was manual.

I drove this stupid thing up mountains, through cities, through a snow storm, and during the goddamn polar vortex. It was -46 celcius at some point or -50.8 Fahrenheit. We did this with crappy sleep, and, on my part, a complete lack of experience driving something that big ever. The thing was as long as a bloody semi truck. We did it over 2 days as it would have been really expensive otherwise, and spent like 2 hours trying to park it in a super cold trailer park, and also slept very poorly in this super cold trailer park. However, in the end, we made it safe and sound. Frankly, we made a good team and really got through something challenging.

Regarding romance, she wasn't ready, and I know that that's fair. I kinda wasn't either and was in the middle of a period of self improvement when this all happened. Basically that's all I've been doing since, with some degree of success. If ever she wants to be with me, it's going to be because I'm the best person she knows, but I digress. I knew that I had to back off and leave her be to some extent; the amount has been frustrating but even so. The next steps has to be hers, I clearly am not allowed to rescue her any more than I have for her sake and mine.

Since then, I've watched this girl claw her way back up piece by piece. She heavily emotionally withdrew which was a bummer as I really enjoyed talking to her, but understandable. She couldn't find work for the longest time in the debt or winter, but finally found some work at a greenhouse. she put in 50-60 hour weeks of physical labour for months to try to catch up on her bills while still applying to other jobs. Her car broke down more, but she couldn't afford a proper mechanic or to have no car, so she bought the parts and learned to fix it herself. She found a company hiring a bookkeeper and had what she described as the world's worst interview with a condescending moron, but she somehow managed to get that job, with good pay and benefits, and she's been there for a couple months. She keeps trying to pay me back for the cost of the rental with $50-100 here and there even though I absolutely don't care and would prefer her to pay off her own poo poo first. She's resilient, and I really respect that.

Unfortunately, the cost of fixing her car made her lapse on her bills just enough to set her mobile home in for repossession. Her original plan was to catch up on that bill and sell it anyways so she would have a more manageable debt moving forward. However she hasn't been able to sell it as she hasn't been able to procure the title from the person that sold it to her after trying (likely not fantastically hard but still.) She's been making payments every month, and apparently when she spoke to someone on the phone about this they said that would be fine. Unfortunately as soon as she fell about a thousand dollars behind, and they've locked her account so she can't do anything with it at all.

She's hurting right now, and it frustrates me up that I'm not allowed to really do anything substantial when I desperately want to. it's been so long, and I know it's been so stressful for her, and she's just not catching the breaks that she needs. Every time something goes right, another thing goes wrong. I know I'm not allowed to be the knight in shining armour and she has to save herself but I hate this poo poo. It's been half a year, she's suffered enough. And we both worked too hard moving that stupid monstrosity of a trailer, this empty husk of her previous failed relationship, cross country in the worst days of the year, to not let her end that on her own terms. What the hell was it even for?

Half of this is just ranting and writing out my own frustrations, but the other half is just wondering what could be done in this situation? Is there any way to stay the repossession? She's clearly trying so hard and has found a stable trajectory with her work. I want her to win, and am emotionally invested in her winning. Does anyone have any solid financial suggestions?

TL;DR - Helped a girl restart her life by driving this stupid monster mobile home cross country on the 2 day roadtrip from hell, so she could stay with family and rebuild after an awful, failed relationship. Girl has been incredibly resilient and has been clawing her way back up to get on top of her bills, but an unfortunate car breakdown broke the camels back and set her behind on her bills enough to call for her mobile home to be repossessed. She is currently well employed, but quite behind. I am emotionally invested because I like the girl, want to see her succeed, and I drove this loving thing CROSS COUNTRY DURING A POLAR VORTEX. I want to see her sell it on her own terms, but can't really help because life is loving bullshit. what can she do to help herself?

I know this is long and weird, but thank you for reading if you did. Double thank you if you actually have any solid advice I could "gently" pass on.

She needs a win, and I want her life to get better so she can move on.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:35

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Ebola Roulette posted:

Lol this was posted in personal finance but it seemed appropriate here. Remember that goon who carried a printer? Now, instead of a printer, make it a trailer.

Hahaha the monomyth of the printer goon is further elaborated on.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:39

NiceGuy: Dec 13, 2006; This is my BOOMSTICK; College Slice

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not telling my atheist cousin that his mom baptised his kids behind his back?

You could argue that the best way to honor your cousin�s atheistic beliefs is to treat it as a complete non-event and and thus not worthy of bringing up :shrug:

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:40

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not telling my atheist cousin that his mom baptised his kids behind his back?

Infants got slightly damp. This means something to the mom, but shouldn't mean anything to the son.

Plus, a little insurance just in case.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:41

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

yea I was also baptised to appease crazy aunts, nbd

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:44

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

My dad has got the savior complex where he needs to rescue women in distress. This has led to a total of zero healthy relationships in his entire life.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:44

Frog Act: Feb 10, 2012

Should I date women of my age if I can't find younger ones?

quote:

I really like younger women (like any normal guy; every study have shown that guys prefer younger women), but because of a very expensive divorce and because of life itself I don't have that much money to offer. Most younger women that I know settle with an older man because the man can provide more material stability (more cash) but I can't offer that. So, should I settle for less and choose a woman I am less attracted to only because I don't want to be alone?

This is a serious question.

quote:

0 is young... My perfect age would be around 27-29. It's not about disposing of her later. It's about building a relationship. I really am more attracted to younger women (women of my age... I don't like them at all)...

Well, woman hypergamy is something really know... Women like to get with guys that have more money or can do things they can't do. They go upper-class when they match with someone.

It was just as a way to say that money can't save me. But should I keep looking or go with a "boring" 40 yo I am less attracted to? (I keep getting messages from 40-45 yo woman all day long on dating sites)

this user has posted this question over and over and his post history is more or less what you'd expect

https://www.reddit.com/user/bastringue

How can I accommodate my physical attractiveness to young women with psychological to more mature one?

quote:

I'm 39 and feel strongly attracted physically to women under 32-33 or so, but from a psychological point of view I'm more attracted to more mature women, like 37+. But a lot of those women look so old, used, I don't know how to say it politely, but they don't attract me as much (I know there are exceptions, but I'm a 6/10 so no luck for me).

Frog Act fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Aug 26, 2019

# ? Aug 26, 2019 16:59

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Frog Act posted:

Should I date women of my age if I can't find younger ones?

this user has posted this question over and over and his post history is more or less what you'd expect

https://www.reddit.com/user/bastringue

�Hypergamy� is one of those terms where if someone uses it, you can immediately ignore everything they say

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:01

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

goethe.cx posted:

“Hypergamy” is one of those terms where if someone uses it, you can immediately ignore everything they say

Sounds like a term for a hyperactive grandmother if anything.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:04

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

There are plenty of attractive older women. This guy is just gross.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:04

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

lmao

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:20

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

My girlfriend's [23F] family is threatening to kick her out if she doesn't break up with me! [26M]

quote:

My girlfriend's parents have always been very controlling of her and she has stated many times that while she loves her family that they can be quite toxic at times. Her parents dont have the best opinion of me because of this. Also, her parents somehow found out that I was venting to a friend of mine at one point when her and I were fighting alot. We are over that hump now but her parents think I was being disrespectful, however i was just tryna talk to someone I didnt have any bad intentions. She also tells me her mom creeps my instagram and twitter and doesn't like some of the stuff I have posted in the past, which i find to be a little excessive that she is creeping my account like that. Today they found out that her and I have been sleeping together as her mom found her birth control. She was a virgin before this. I guess this was the last straw for them.

Now she is saying that she basically has to choose between them or me or basically get kicked out. Her parents want her to date when she's successful and has her life in order, and they don't see me as the guy to give up everything in my life for her because I dont have my life in order as well (which is true im still in school). However, I think its unfair to ask someone in my position to give up everything for a relationship that hasn't even hit a year yet, and I wouldn't ever want her to give up everything for me too because she has alot of potential and alot going for her. Ideally I want us to grow together side by side. Her parents however dont see it that way, and I think she's starting to believe it too. She doesn't want to break up with me, but doesn't know where to go from here. Shes making it sound like her parents are saying to either break up with me or be homeless. I've never been in this situation before, so hoping yall can provide some insight!

TL;DR: my girlfriend's controlling parents dont really think im the best choice for her, and now found out that we've slept together. Her parents basically told her to break up with me or move out.

UPDATE: My girlfriend's [23F] family is threatening to kick her out if she doesn't break up with me! [26M]

quote:

A few weeks ago I wrote about how controlling my girlfriend's parents can be. Basically they said if she continued to date me she would get kicked out. So we decided to just keep our relationship under the radar from them. A few days before her recent family vacation with her parents and brother, her and I were in a very good place. However, during the vacation, her and her mom got into an argument that I don't know the details about yet, but she basically told me that she doesn't think she can keep lying to her parents for 2 more years until she moves out. This basically sounded like it meant the end of our relationship and this reoccurring issue is starting to leave a sour taste in my mouth.

I still haven't seen her since she left on vacation but we've been texting saying that we need to talk things out. Lately, she has been incredibly clingy over text, she usually isn't at all but i guess its because of the fact that our relationship might end, and its her first ever relationship. Last night she texted me saying: "Idk I feel conflicted and you can�t fix this. All I can say is if you love me enough you will either wait for me or we will get back together when we have things right. If you really love me we will find a way back to each other but idk"

If it were up to me I would stay in the relationship currently, provided the parent issue doesn't keep reoccurring, but it seems like that won't be the case. It kinda upset me that she used wording like "if you love me you'll wait", it came off pretty manipulative, and she's not naturally a manipulative person. If she was asking me to wait 6 months or so then sure no problem. However she's asking me to wait 2 years just for the possibility of us getting back together. I dont know if this sounds selfish, but im 26 and I've been in a relationship for most of my 20s. I don't really have any interest in just waiting it out for the next 2 years. What would you guys do?

TL;DR: Girlfriend doesn't wanna lie about us to her parents anymore which basically means we have to break up. She now wants me to wait for 2 years until she is able to move out and pursue the relationship.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:24

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

I [24/F] have been dating my strictly vegan bf [26/M] for almost 3 years, he has always said he would never be with someone who isn�t vegan, I am 95% of the time with one exception and he doesn�t know

quote:

So for a little back story, I have also been vegan for about 3 years. We met through some mutual friends and started dating around the same time I went vegan. He has brought it up that he would not be comfortable dating someone who wasn�t also vegan because he feels very strongly about it. What he doesn�t know is that once in a while, every few weeks to a month, I get a craving for meat (always the same thing) and I�ll buy a bag of those little pepperoni slices and eat the whole thing, usually in the middle of the night when he�s sleeping or in my car on my way home from work. I�ve never been caught but one time he said my breath smelled like salami, I told him I did not eat salami which wasn�t a lie because it was pepperoni. I only crave and eat pepperoni, no other meat or animal product ever. I don�t know why. I can�t control the cravings and am not willing to stop. I�ve asked a friend and they said that he�s not entitled to know every single thing I do, but I do feel guilty for not telling him. Looking for more opinions, especially from fellow vegans.

TLDR; Bf is a strict vegan and would probably leave me if he found out I secretly ate an entire bag of pepperoni every few weeks. Not willing to give up the pepperoni binges.

Check it out, the world's two most annoying people, the vegan and the rules-lawyer, are dating each other.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:25

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

She's eaten pepperoni for 54.7863298 days solidly, hardcore.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:29

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

chitoryu12 posted:

My girlfriend's [23F] family is threatening to kick her out if she doesn't break up with me! [26M]

UPDATE: My girlfriend's [23F] family is threatening to kick her out if she doesn't break up with me! [26M]

If we completely cave in to her controlling parents for the next several years and give them everything they want, surely everything will work out okay!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:36

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Surely they make a vegan pepperoni that tastes terrible you could eat instead?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:39

new boot goofin: Jul 23, 2007; like school in july

if it's literally just pepperoni and nothing else, it sounds to me that it's less about the pep and more that the gal desperately needs some more fat and salt in her diet

new boot goofin fucked around with this message at 17:44 on Aug 26, 2019

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:41

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

HOT BREAD! posted:

if it's literally just pepperoni and nothing else, it sounds to me that it's less about the pep and more that the gal desperately needs some more fat and salt in her diet

Pepperoni is the only thing staving off goiter

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:46

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

I'm not a millionaire, complains the guy making 350-400k.

Thats a throat punchin'

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:46

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Xik posted:

My [29M] girlfriend [28F] started using an Adult Pacifier and generally regressing + becoming more childlike. Help?

Run far, far away and never return. Hopefully several states or countries away. :staredog:

# ? Aug 26, 2019 17:55

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I'm not a millionaire, complains the guy making 350-400k.

Thats a throat punchin'

If you're making 400k a year for a half dozen years and aren't a millionaire, you're doing something wrong, and it isn't because the wife is spending 250 bucks on school supplies. Granted, maybe the guy has a lot of debt and just started making big money, but I doubt it.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:00

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

This is a long-ish one, but you only need to read to the bolded parts.

F(27) Problems in a long-term relationship with M(37)

quote:

I�ve been in a relationship with someone for 7 years. For the most part we are great. We share the same interests, hobbies. We live together and it�s been great. He doesn�t have a job. He and I are living in his parents home. They live in another country and only come home for three months during the holidays. They give him a monthly allowance to pay for the upkeep of the house and so he can take care of himself. I�m 27 years old and he�s 37. We never really had an in-depth discussion about our future. I never want to get married or have kids and he said neither does he so when he started the relationship I didn�t expect it to have lasted this long.

He doesn�t want to get a job. He tried to have a job but he only lasted one year. He spends his days playing video games or watching Netflix. I told him that he can get home-based jobs but he wants me to find those jobs for him. I work Nightshifts at a company in a city an hour and a half away from his house. The workload can often be draining so I don�t really have the energy to search for a job for him and shouldn�t he be looking for work for himself anyway? I�ve made suggestions and even set-up some profiles but he doesn�t pursue anything. He�s way smarter than me in a lot of stuff which is frustrating to me because he can do more things but he doesn�t want to do them.

He�s very content on staying as he is and how we are but oftentimes I am ashamed of him. I lie to my friends and family about him. I tell them he works at home or that he works near his home. I�ve worked since I was 18 years old while I was still in college. I�ve paid my way so I can live in the city. I planned to travel the world and actually live abroad but I�ve put those dreams on hold because of our relationship. I�ve never even travelled outside the country because I can�t save up enough money because of course he needs to come with me as we are a couple. The plans have always been pushed back next year or someday until I would forget about them.

I hate taking his parents money. I pay for our Internet and the maid that comes weekly and groceries and foodstuff and gas so I�m not exactly leeching off of them but there are times when my mom would ask for money so I would send her some which makes the budget a bit tight since he only receives a small stipend. I mean things were better when he had a job and we rarely have to touch his allowance.

I feel ashamed, embarrassed and guilty when his parents come home and they see me go to work while their son stays there. I feel like as a partner I failed because I can�t even motivate him to go to work. That I am just another burden in their lives. I live in their house for free and I can�t even �fix� their son.

I don�t know if I want this relationship to continue anymore. He�s noticed that I�m acting a bit strange lately and I don�t know how to tell him these things. I care for him deeply but let�s say I told him to get a job and he did. Is he only doing it to appease me? And if he can readily get a job now why didn�t he do it before? I�m afraid I might break him. He has depression and a nasty break-up almost a decade ago that caused him to be what he is right now. I�m afraid if I leave he�ll kill himself or be so much worse that what he is right now.

Also there is this friend at work. We�ve been in each other�s social circle for a year and a half but we never really got close until a few months ago. We never talked for a year or so except for polite hellos but then we started talking and hanging out. I never really noticed him before and I told him that if he only talked to me a year ago then we could�ve had a year of friendship. And then suddenly a week ago, he told me he had a crush on me. He knows I�m in a relationship and he�s not gonna interfere with that but he just wanted to be honest. I told him I see him as a friend and that we should be friends and he was respectful and left it at that. While he does crop up in my dreams I never treated him any different than the people I am friends with and I will never cheat on my partner for him. Also we are totally incompatible as we don�t share the same interests and I�ve actually played out a scenario in my head wherein we are a couple but that scenario never worked out because again we are totally different people.

The problem is it�s not that I have feelings for him. Again aside from the weird dreams I don�t feel anything for him. It�s the fact that a guy like him can like me. The fact that there are other people out there whose life is at least put together enough exists and considers me as someone worth spending time with.

It�s making me rethink my choices and my relationship. But sometimes I ask myself if this guy didn�t say those things that I would just let my life with my partner continue like this? That maybe I have feelings for this guy but I don�t want to admit it. That I�m finding faults in my relationship now that I�ve tolerated for so long just because this one person said he liked me. Then again, these problems have existed long before this other guy came along and even if he leaves or not be my friend anymore, these problems will still exist. I know that I should talk to my partner. That�s the only solution but I�m scared. I�m really scared of what will happen. Is bringing this up to my boyfriend the right way? What if I do have a crush and I�m sabotaging my relationship?

TL;DR: My long-term boyfriend whom I'm living with doesn't have a plan for our future. A person said they had a crush on me and I started thinking about my relationship and our problems.

Thirty fuckin' seven.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:05

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Jealous as gently caress of that dude, if the parents are on board, poo poo, you're golden!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:13

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Also anyone that admits they have a crush on someone they know to be in a relationship to "be honest" is a massive shithead, likely imagining themselves in a romantic comedy.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:15

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Xik posted:

Dating in 2019 is weird and confusing, I'm glad I'm already married.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:20

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

drat. Rent free house, that he can reasonably expect to eventually inherit, with a stipend.

That's the good poo poo right there!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:23

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Also anyone that admits they have a crush on someone they know to be in a relationship to "be honest" is a massive shithead, likely imagining themselves in a romantic comedy.

It's like the reverse of every romcom where the loser steals the hot chick from the jock. Except instead of a jock it's a guy who can manage getting dressed in the morning and going to work and cleaning his apartment and cooking.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 18:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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