- Sierra Nevadan
- Nov 1, 2010
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I should have given up. I started the list and then realized that there are so many drat types of flying bugs. I really just meant to say that butterflies are the best ones.
E: dumb snipe, content :
My [18F] boyfriend [19M] thinks that my festival outfit is too slutty
quote:I'm planning on going to this halloween glam themed festival soon with my friends and we are all making our own outfits. The outfit I have in mind is a black shirt and black pants with a twist. I want to cut the shirt so my bra shows and the pants in the crotch and butt area so my underwear is visible. That is because I bought this cute set of bra and panties with glitter and sequin zombies and vampires on them which have different effects depending on how the sequins are arranged. The way I want to cut the clothes is only so the fabric underneath shows, not skin whatsoever. He thinks that this is to provocative. I disagree. Is he overreacting or am I in the wrong?
tl;dr my boyfriend thinks my selfmade festival outfit shows too much. Sierra Nevadan fucked around with this message at 10:01 on Aug 27, 2019
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Aug 27, 2019 09:54
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 13, 2024 23:05
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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The best are obviously bats.
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Aug 27, 2019 10:14
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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start a club for pureblood new mexicans ONLY?
Jail?
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Aug 27, 2019 10:41
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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AITA for exposing my ex girlfriend online because she was ashamed of our relationship?
quote:
I (21M) had a secret relationship with a girl (26F). we both had the same close friend group, and all of them didn't have a clue we we're hooking up. This girl is 4,5 years older then me, and she's ashamed of it. She tried to hide our relationship to everyone except one friend. There were several frustrations and arguments between us, ad she decided to go travel for a few months. When she came back she didn't want to deal with me anymore. I got really angry for this. So I decided to make a video where I explained the situation and relationship we had together. Her face was fully recognisable in the video.
After I released the video, she immediately called me up crying saying I had to take the video down. I realised it was not okay for me to put a video online of someone who is recognisable without his/her consent, so I put the video on private.
After I put the video on private, I went to travel also. Just 3 days ago I came back from my 7 month trip, and realised she has put my friends (that are also her friends) against me. I was wondering why my friends were giving me short answers on whatsapp during my time away, but now I realise they did not really reply because she told them not to keep in touch with me anymore.
I'm really aggravated and want to express my feelings. So I am considering on putting the video online again, but this time, she will be unrecognisable. The video is on private now but you can watch it here (with YT subtitles) :
AITA If I upload this video to make myself feel better? And do I have the right to upload it?
He undertook further effort, to censor the faces and names in the unlisted video, to show reddit, but I still don't want to post it.
He titled it "Personal Therapy" and it's 3 minutes 21 seconds long.
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Aug 27, 2019 11:06
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Im not saying its right, but if this thread had the power to determine who lives and who dies we could probably solve global warming
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Aug 27, 2019 11:13
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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YTA. He's your brother. Don't blow up his family. It's none of your business.
There are a number of important details here:
- Brother seems to blame the wife for the affair, pointing out that she was busy with work and on business travel a lot. rear end in a top hat move
- Brother has cheated on partners before. rear end in a top hat move
- Brother felt "guilty" but didn't bother telling his wife about any of this. rear end in a top hat move
The brother should be the one to tell his wife about the affair, not OP, but since he's too chickenshit to do it the OP should absolutely step in. It's not fair to her to keep this secret, especially when there appears to be a pattern of cheating developing. I think this implies that OP'S SIL is going to find out one way or another, when her husband slips up again or starts feeling guilty again or gets called by the cheatee, etc. This whole situation is a time bomb that can't be defused, but OP can at least do the right and fair thing by telling her the truth.
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Aug 27, 2019 12:34
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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There are a number of important details here:
- Brother seems to blame the wife for the affair, pointing out that she was busy with work and on business travel a lot. rear end in a top hat move
- Brother has cheated on partners before. rear end in a top hat move
- Brother felt "guilty" but didn't bother telling his wife about any of this. rear end in a top hat move
The brother should be the one to tell his wife about the affair, not OP, but since he's too chickenshit to do it the OP should absolutely step in. It's not fair to her to keep this secret, especially when there appears to be a pattern of cheating developing. I think this implies that OP'S SIL is going to find out one way or another, when her husband slips up again or starts feeling guilty again or gets called by the cheatee, etc. This whole situation is a time bomb that can't be defused, but OP can at least do the right and fair thing by telling her the truth.
The standard line for decades is "its not your business stay out of it"
It's a terrible mentality. Someone comes to you and essentially says they have been hurting and abusing someone's trust and expect you to side with them by virtue of not outing them to their partner.
That's all they really want, someone to pat them on the back and keep their secret so they feel better about their continued misdeeds and dishonesty.
Oh and of course once they get caught its another excuse they can use and throw the other person under the bus with the excuse "I confessed to X and they agreed I shouldn't tell you"
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Aug 27, 2019 13:18
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- Frog Act
- Feb 10, 2012
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My [18F] boyfriend [19M] doesn’t brush his teeth very often and it’s making me less attracted to him. How can I get him to take better care of his dental hygiene?
quote:I have been seeing my current boyfriend for 2 years now. He’s great and I really do love him, but there’s some aspects of him I find kind of nasty.
The major one is that he very very rarely brushes his teeth. I had a holiday with him recently and over the two weeks he seemed to brush his teeth maybe once or twice. His teeth have notable signs of neglect; his canines have so much plaque on them that they’re almost entirely brown and his incisors have an uneven texture, as if he’s worn down the enamel or something. As you can imagine, this also causes some breath issues. It’s not horrific, but there is a definite smell when you’re very very close to him, such as if you’re his girlfriend and you’re kissing him.
It’s starting to make me really not attracted to him. Whenever I try to picture us doing anything sexual or romantic, I just remember his teeth and it turns me right off.
I also find it quite hypocritical. My boyfriend has severe issues with anything to do with bodily fluids. He refuses to go down on me because he finds vaginal fluids gross and we don’t even kiss with tongues because of the saliva. Yet, he never considers I might find his mouth kind of gross when he doesn’t brush his teeth.
Plus, I always take a lot of pride in how I look when I see him. I dress up all nice, makeup and all, making sure my hair is perfect and whatever, but he doesn’t even take the 2 minutes it would take to brush his teeth.
What can I do about this without embarrassing him?
tl;dr: My boyfriend very rarely brushes his teeth and it’s making me less attracted to him. How can I fix this issue?
UPDATE: I asked him about this and he says he’s aware of the issue and it makes him feel gross too, so he’s going to work on it going forward.
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Aug 27, 2019 13:49
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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My (27F) fiancé may be the dad of someone else’s baby... Have I done something wrong?
quote:
This is my first time posting... I’m feeling lost and would like some honest advice.
I’ll try keep this short as possible.
My fiancé told me two weeks ago that a girl (21) had messaged him saying he was the father of her child and she was 16 weeks pregnant. He told me it can’t possibly be his as nothing like that had happened between them.
I was obviously upset and knew of the girl (she liked all of his pictures on social media).
He went on a night out 15 weeks prior to this on an overnight football trip. He had told me the next day that she was there but they hadn’t spoken all night. After the baby revelation I asked how on Earth he could be the dad if they hadn’t even spoken. Turns out, in his words, she’d been all over him all night, following him around but he pushed her away. Then, she got into a taxi with him back to the hotel, where she walked him to his room and then left. ‘Nothing happened’ apparently. His dad who he was sharing the room with said that he didn’t hear or see anything.
So I’ve felt very betrayed and confused; not only because of the whole baby scenario but he’s also lied to me.
I pulled out of the house we were buying. He was very angry I had done that and said I’ve made a decision without even consulting him. (I was putting the majority of he deposit down myself).
His behaviour toward the situation was raising a few red flags. He’s deleted her messages about it. He rang her without me knowing. Didn’t seem angry that someone is apparently making this up and causing friction between us.
Fast forward to now... he ended it with me yesterday. I asked for two things from him. One to perhaps try relationship counselling (a point blank no from him) and if he could ring the girl in front of me and ask why she’d made this up.
He hasn’t done either of and then started acting annoyed at me for acting ‘cold’ and ‘disinterested’ towards him.
I suffer with anxiety and don’t always respond to situations well as I over think everything. However, I’d like to think I handled all this quite maturely. I didn’t shout at him, call him names... nothing like this. I simply asked for space to think and then met up a few times to speak about it all and ask questions. Then suggested counselling to over come the issues.
Have I done anything wrong? I don’t understand why he’s ended it with me? I feel like a stupid idiot because I was willing to work through this and see if we could stay together. I love him and I was obviously committed to being with him forever. Is this just an admission of guilt ?
Sorry it’s so long. I just have no idea what to think.
TD;LR. Everything was fine, a girl has messaged saying he’s he dad to her baby. He’s denied it and now ended it because he doesn’t want relationship counselling and I’m ‘ messing with this head’.
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Aug 27, 2019 13:53
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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quote:
AITA if I said lice usually comes from poorer people?
u/ZePieGuy
Ok, now before you judge me for being a classist asshat, hear me out.
My sister was recounting a story of how when she was in college for the year (we are moving her back in this weekend), lots of her friends would take naps with her in her bed. This was because she had a fancy memory foam insert to go on top of the beds they provided in the dorms, and her bed was the comfiest out of all of her friends. My mom wasn't as thrilled about this, and claimed that my sister should be more careful about letting people sleep on it, as she could get lice or bedbugs. My sister understood, and then said that she would know if any of her close friends had lice, and they were decently well off in a good college, so the chances of getting lice were pretty low. My mom proceeded to say that anyone can get lice and that she should be careful.
I was thinking about how lice spreads, and then I agreed with my sister that her friends were well off, and that poorer people probably got lice first and then spread it to others. The chance that she would get lice, thus, would be very low.
My mom and sister then looked at me like I had just said a terrible thing, calling me arrogant and classist. But I defended what I said, saying that it's not that poorer people have worse hygiene (which, depending on how poor, they could), it's just that some of the amenities they may use, like barbers of a lower quality, may spread lice more than cleaner, more expensive places. I was only thinking this because I experienced lice firsthand from getting a haircut at a cheap place while I was on a trip abroad, and noticed that they didn't really clean the tools, and didn't know how often they changed the cleaning fluids.
I proceeded to get tirade from my mom and sister again, saying that rich people get lice randomly too, from sitting in planes or trains. However, I kept adding that those places that had lice, like plane seats, probably got their lice from a poorer person at a certain point. I didn't say that rich people can't initially get lice or spread it, just that poorer people are more likely to. Randomly getting lice from trying a hat on in a store or sitting in public transport is something that can happen to anyone, poor or rich, but systemically getting lice, in my estimation, is biased towards poorer people.
Well, they weren't having it, and now I feel like an rear end in a top hat.
I know I sound classist here, but I wasn't trying to. I was simply trying to explain how lice propagates. My mom and sister are now really pissed off, and I can't help but think, AITA?
Edit: I just want to clarify one thing if it wasn't clear in my post. I am not trying to spread bigotry. I said that anyone can get lice, but I think there is a bias towards poorer people, due to the cost of treating it, costs of cleaner places, and things of that like. The community I visited ( I stayed for a month doing research/service) even had people who had lice pretty much all the time because it was too expensive to treat and they just got it constantly.
Someone also mentioned that factors like the number of children, and interactions play large factors, in lice and may occlude the general correlation. However, poorer people do have more children and more family living with them, and they usually interact with other poorer people, increasing the chance for lice. There is peer-reviewed research on this.
I never tried to insinuate it's poorer people fault they are getting it. Rather, they are more likely to get it, along the lines as poorer people are more likely to commit petty crimes just due to their circumstance.
Edit 2: Here is an article by the guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/sep/29/head-lice-invasion-gp-nit-kits . It talks about how poorer people will get lice more often because they have trouble affording medicine. Is this not some evidence for my baseless claims?
The comments, goons, the comments
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Aug 27, 2019 14:09
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- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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Every time I meet someone from Albuquerque they immediately become the weirdest person I've ever met, displacing the previous Albuquirky. Someday I will meet the Ur-Albuquirky and there will be a reckoning
"Yup. I reckon your the weirdest person I've met."
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Aug 27, 2019 14:09
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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My (27F) fiancé may be the dad of someone else’s baby... Have I done something wrong?
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Aug 27, 2019 14:14
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- StrangersInTheNight
- Dec 31, 2007
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ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
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Lol that she still thinks the other girl made it up.
I think she's stuck in the cognitive dissonance of working it out. She obviously knows it's a no-go because she pulled out of the house they were buying. She did that bc despite her anxiety, she listened to her gut and took actions to protect herself. Now she's just trying to get her brain and heart to catch up to her instincts.
A success story if I ever heard one. This lady dodged a bullet.
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Aug 27, 2019 14:42
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Definitely. Funny how the guy was pissed that she pulled her down payment without discussing it. So many of these guys are mooches.
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Aug 27, 2019 14:52
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- Frog Act
- Feb 10, 2012
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Me [35F] with my husband [41M] and son [4M], neighbor [60sM] tagged along on family vacation and is ruining it
quote:Husband ("H.") and I have been planning this vacation to a major city ("City") overseas for years. City was on the top of the travel-to list for us before we got pregnant with our 4-year old son ("S."). We've been wanting to travel to City for well over five years and finally felt that our son was old enough to travel without fussing or holding us back too much. Plans to stay there for nearly two weeks so we have time to appreciate the city.
About a month ago our neighbor ("N.") -- who is a little socially awkward and lives alone -- became a part of these plans too. Long story which I won't get into here. The important thing is that the vacation plans to City now include H., S., N., and myself.
The drama started with the Airbnb rental. We changed from a two bedroom rental to a three bedroom rental to accommodate N. We suggested splitting the bill for the upgraded room three ways: three bedrooms and three adults, so each adult is responsible for one-third of the cost. N. would only have paid one-third. Not good enough for N. He insisted that since he was going to be around and could help clean and look after S. that he shouldn't pay anything. (As an aside, we are planning to fully look after S. without N.'s help, and N.'s help was never a condition or term of his tagging along.) We countered by offering that N. could pay only 1/6th of the total Airbnb cost, which he only reluctantly agreed to pay when my H. threatened to downgrade the rental to make it affordable for us. That whole debacle should have been a red flag but we went forward with the planning anyway.
Next came the flight. We bought our tickets months ago on a comfortable major airline with nice international flight amenities. However, N.'s buying a plane ticket for the same flight would have cost N. a lot of extra money because it was so close to the date. We suggested that he could just take a more affordable flight and arrive a day or two later but he insisted on everyone traveling on the same flight. So we cancelled our own family's plane tickets, ate the cancellation fees, and rebooked with a budget airline that arrived a whole day later (with a layover) than originally planned. The whole thing was annoying not only due to the money, inconvenience, and rudeness, but also because the budget airline didn't have TV entertainment or electric outlets to keep S. entertained for the flight.
We've been in vacation City for about a week now and this is where things get really out of control. I can't really organize this into a coherent structure so I'm just going to wall of text everything. First, N. is a total slob and refuses to clean after himself so either we have to clean up after him or tolerate dirty dishes and such laying around. We've asked him to help keep things clean but he keeps blaming S. even though we know 100% it is N.'s mess. Second, N. really likes museums and keeps insisting that we go to them. It's the reason N. wanted to go to City in the first place. However, H. and I like to visit restaurants, parks, pubs, and such when we travel and take in the real local culture. I suggested that N. could go to museums on his own during the day but he rejected that suggestion so we've been stuck going with him everywhere. We have had two afternoons of doing what H. and I want, but I hate having to find consensus with N. on everything. It's very exhausting. Third, H. and I have a dietary restriction that N. does not have, and N. keeps insisting on going to restaurants that serve food without said restriction. The really annoying thing about this is that N. could eat our food, but just insists on going to restaurants with both options even though in practice that does not leave H., S., and I with many options on the menu. Fourth, H. is really mad at me for the circumstances surrounding my allowing N. to join us on the trip so we keep fighting in private. H. keeps asking me to stand my ground about things like restaurants, museums, and money, and getting frustrated when N. forces me to find consensus on those issues.
I don't have any control over N. and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. We have one more week left of this. I feel like the vacation is ruined so far and I can't imagine the rest of this week going any better. What do I do? Is this hopeless?
TLDR: Our neighbor tagged along on a family vacation. He is incredibly overbearing and oblivious, and is just ruining the vacation for everyone.
Edit: Since everyone keeps asking about how N. got invited to this trip in the first place... Last month I picked S. up from pre-school. N. was outside taking advantage of the nice weather to do some yard work. Usually I try to avoid him because he doesn't pick up on social cues, but he ambushed us with some hellos and small talk on our way into the house. I mentioned that we were going on this vacation to City in a few weeks and asked him to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity around the house. N. started talking about how he always wanted to go to City. This led my sweet and naive S. to invite N. along on the trip. For reasons beyond me, N. took the invitation seriously. When I tried to demur and said I'd need to talk to H. about it, S. insisted that we're supposed to share, which is a lesson we'd been emphasizing a lot with S. at the time. So I caved on the spot and agreed that N. could go on the trip with us. That decision led to an argument with Husband, who eventually agreed that I didn't have to rescind the invitation, but keeps throwing the decision back in my face every time something goes wrong this week. I definitely have my regrets about it so no need to beat me up over it. nppcs
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Aug 27, 2019 15:07
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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Me [35F] with my husband [41M] and son [4M], neighbor [60sM] tagged along on family vacation and is ruining it
This is one of those where Ann Landers says nobody walks all over you without your permission
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Aug 27, 2019 15:12
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- Mr. Fall Down Terror
- Jan 24, 2018
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by Fluffdaddy
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Me [35F] with my husband [41M] and son [4M], neighbor [60sM] tagged along on family vacation and is ruining it
lol at letting the four year old make decisions
kids that age are little lawyers who will happily burst through any loophole you give them, and it's fine to let them have their way sometimes in the endless frustrating negotiations that take place at this age, but yikes get some reinforcement of your parental authority
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Aug 27, 2019 15:25
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- welcome to hell
- Jun 9, 2006
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This guy im seeing (25m) is really into the fact that I (20f) am a virgin
quote:
I am currently seeing this guy, and it seems like he is really into the fact that I am a virgin. I am cool with being a virgin and everything, I am not saving it I just haven't had an opportunity to have sex before.
He always brings it up when we talk and get slightly more intimate which makes me uncomfortable. He says its cute that I am still a virgin, he talks about how it needs to be done right and makes it out to be this big thing. He also says its good that I am as a lot of women sleep with too many people and get bored of it.
Is this weird? I really like the guy but the way he goes on it creeps me out a little.
quote:
Yeah it grossed me out when he said that. He asked if he could check my hymen aswell before we do it which I said no too. I think it might be a fetish or hes always wanted to be with a virgin or something. idk
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Aug 27, 2019 15:26
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Women have too much sex and get sick of it? Sounds like a problem with him, not the women.
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Aug 27, 2019 15:29
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- Frog Act
- Feb 10, 2012
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My (44/m) family was uninvited from a trip because my son (14/m) is autistic.
quote:5 years ago, my childhood best friend (44/m) invited me, my wife (41/f) and our son on a week long trip to California with his family and 3 of his college/work friends (42-45/m) and their families. I'd met them before and we all got on well enough so I agreed to it. They knew that my son was autistic before they invited us and were fine with it apparently.
The first year we went, my son had a really hard time adjusting but got better as time went on, although he did have a few meltdowns, but everyone acted like it was fine and that they understood and continued to invite us on the trip and things usually went like that.
Earlier this week, my "friends" said that they wanted to discuss the trip and I too wanted to discuss the trip because of some concerns I had (mainly one of my friends teenage daughter who was extremely rude to my son) so I agreed and when I got there, things were really awkward. No one really said anything and finally one of the guys just said that they and their families had decided that it would probably be best if we (my family) didn't go on the trip this year. I was completely blindsided and of course asked why and none of them would come right out and say it directly, but they slyly said it was because of my son.
They said that this year, since it was vacation, they wanted to be able to truly relax and for the past few years they haven't been able to. They also said that this year they really wanted some "adult time" since they haven't had any the last few years (whenever my wife and I went out our son would have to come too because no one would stay with him (and quite frankly I didn't trust any of the other kids to stay with him) and he had a meltdown once at a restaurant).
Their final reason was that some of their kids were uncomfortable (we rent a big house out there) and felt unsafe staying in the house because of one instance where my son did get a little out of hand (one time out of the 4 years) so I did understand that part a bit.
Like I said, they never came right out and said it was because of my son but I knew and it really hurt. This trip is the only time my wife and I ever get "away" and they knew that. I think it's pretty sad that a group of adults can't see past a few inconveniences and annoyances from a child who can't help it for a few days, but I know it's a little different to me because I deal with it all of the time.
Overall, I'm just angry, hurt, and confused (as is my wife) by all of this because they are supposed to be my friends and I thought they understood everything. I feel like I'm ready to cut ties with all of them and not look back, but my wife thinks that I should tell them all how I truly felt about the situation so that they won't just think its okay to do that to anyone.
I don't really know what I'm asking, whether I'm overreacting (I truly don't think I am) or whether I should just end the friendship now or talk to them first.
tl;dr: Friends excluded me and my family from annual trip because my son has autism. I just want to cut them off and be done with it but my wife thinks I should talk to them and tell them just how unacceptable that is.
UPDATE: My (44/m) family was uninvited from a trip because my son (14/m) is autistic.
quote:After thinking hard about it, I decided that I would talk to my friends about everything that happened. We decided to meet again and talk it out.
They said that they understood why I was hurt, but weren't even planning on budging in anyway. There was no hesitation this time and one of them (the one with the rude daughter) told me straight out that being around my son was way too stressful and risky and that this year they refused to constantly walk on eggshells and put their kids at risk for my family's sake. We were never the closest, but I still thought we were friendly enough acquaintances to be respectful to one another, but I guess not and in the moment we did get into a bit of heated argument and basically nothing got resolved, but my childhood friend did tell me that he doesn't want this to end our friendship and that maybe next year we could all work something out, but quite frankly I don't really want to go on a trip with any of them and I left.
My wife, when I got home was happy that I'd talked to them but upset that I even considered trying to come up with a solution to go on trip where we would not even be wanted, which I understand.
As far as my friendship with those guys, I'm not sure where it stands and if we don't talk in the future it won't bother me too bad since they feel the way they do. I know that a lot of people disagree with me, but if you can't accept my child, then you can't accept me, especially when he's so dependent on me. I am a little disappointed because I thought we were all friends, but maybe it's for the best.
tl;dr: I talked to my "friends" and things did not go well, but that may be for the best.
from the replies, where he got excoriated in both posts
quote:I really think you're expecting too much from your friends. I work with individuals with exceptionalities, autism being one of the more prevalent one so I'm very aware of many of the challenges and difficulties it poses. Between parents trying to balance everything in life, resulting behaviours, lack of social skills, struggles with consistency and routine, etc.
But have you thought that maybe you and your wife are being selfish and expecting too much from your friends, rather than it being the other way around? I get its not fair, but you say
"but if you can't accept my child, then you can't accept me"
I think you and your wife are the ones having a hard time accepting your child. You two should know just how difficult it is on your son when you change his schedule in such a drastic way to go on vacation. Reason why last time he was probably acting out. Yeah your son may love going on vacation or going out and doing things with you, but it sometimes takes years (much longer than 14) to figure out ways to do it, so its not only easier on him but everyone around him. Even then, sometimes it never gets easier and you have to pick your battles.
Parents all over the world who have children with disabilities have to give things up in order to care for their child. I get it, it sucks. You want to be able to do all the things that other families can do. The reality is though, it might not be possible and YOU need to be okay with that. Not your friends, not your coworkers, not that random person at the grocery store....but you and your wife.
I honestly don't think your friends are trying to be mean. Could they have approached the conversation better, yeah they probably could have. But from your post I feel that you think you're entitled just because your child has autism. I'm sorry but thats not how the world works. I think you and your wife would benefit sitting down and talking to someone, whether a therapist or if you have an agency around you specific to autism about struggles like this and how to work through it.
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Aug 27, 2019 15:39
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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Having actually slept with a virgin I don’t get that fetish at all
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Aug 27, 2019 15:49
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- bamhand
- Apr 15, 2010
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It reads like one of those estranged parents posts where you know about 75% of the story is omitted.
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Aug 27, 2019 16:09
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- Pope Corky the IX
- Dec 18, 2006
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What are you looking at?
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It can all be summarized as "I know his behavior and meltdowns ruined the vacation for a dozen people but we have to deal with that every day so you have no right to complain"
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Aug 27, 2019 16:14
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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My (24f) new boyfriend (24m) looked at escorts online 2 days ago. Is this normal?
quote:
Hi all, so I've been seeing someone for the past 2 months and we recently became sexually active and today, we decided to start a relationship!
So far, we've been great. The sex is great, he's incredibly sweet and we get along really well. We spent an amazing weekend together 2 weeks ago and have been really close ever since. Today we talked a little about the future and whatnot and I was feeling great about him.
We had dinner with his sister and she told me that he's told everyone about me. And that I'm the first girl he's brought home to meet his family and she was excited for me.
So later, he was looking up something on his phone in front of me and "Escort Services" in our area popped up in his recent searches. I started questioning him about it and he gave me his phone to look through the history. I looked and saw that he's looked at escorts multiple times since we met. He swore up and down that he'd never actually hire one and that it was similar to looking at porn (which he views a lot).
I am upset and honestly don't know what to say. He apologized profusely and understood if I no longer wanted to speak to him. I understand looking at porn, he works in the mining industry and we don't get to see each other for a week so I'm ok with it. But looking at escorts seems... different to me.
I told him I needed space and asked him to go get tested for STDs tomorrow, which he agreed to do ASAP.
I've googled around and read that it's pretty common for guys to look at escort sites like porn. And this is the only bad thing he's done that makes me doubt him. Besides this, he's great. Anyway...guys, what do you think? Is this normal-ish? Should I cut my losses and leave this otherwise great guy?
TL;DR: Caught my new boyfriend, who is otherwise great, looking at escort sites online. He says that it's just like looking at porn and he'd never actually hire one. Not sure if this is normal-ish or if I should run?
Stop with looking at escorts, start with looking at $15,000 snowmobiles!
E:
Should I [28] wait for him [28] to be established?
quote:
My [f28] boyfriend [m28] has been together for 8 months. We've been living together for about 5 months now. He recently got a job. That would be his first job. My problem is I have a lot of dreams i'd like to turn into reality. Like travelling, invest on something and live the life I have been dreaming. My boyfriend is just starting to put his life together. He moved in with me because he can't live with his mother and siblings anymore. I took him in even when he didn't have anything. I'm getting depressed everyday and I can't tell him because he'll feel bad and would lose all self-confidence. I love him and I know he loves me but is this really worth the wait?
TL;DR: I want to live life but my boyfriend is just starting with his life
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Aug 27, 2019 16:15
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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My (24f) new boyfriend (24m) looked at escorts online 2 days ago. Is this normal?
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Aug 27, 2019 16:18
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- Frog Act
- Feb 10, 2012
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Live in boyfriend [25M] is unemployed, broke and addicted to gaming, I [19F] am fed up and frustrated.
quote:Throwaway account because my boyfriend uses reddit. I know the title might seem harsh, I’m just very exhausted.
Here’s some background: boyfriend and I have been living together with his family since December. On Christmas Eve, he quit his job. I didn’t have a problem with supporting him, but at this point it’s gone a bit too far. He hasn’t worked since then. I work more than full time and have a very intense job.
I often come home from work at the latest 2am. I put gas in his car, and he usually complains when I ask him if he can pick me up. After 12:50, transit stops running as frequently and conveniently, and when I’m off late I have to walk through a scary part of town unless he picks me up.
While I’m out working, he sits at home and plays video games and drinks. I have been paying for everything; rent, food, drinks, snacks. Because it’s his parents, he can pretty much live rent free. Even before he quit his job, he would “ignore me” for games.
When I leave for work, he’s gaming and when I come home, he’s gaming. I don’t have an issue with video games. But even when I’m at home, he ignores me for them. I have talked to him about this multiple times, in a nice way, but he will not even make the slightest effort to change. He says he will, but never does. Our sex life is non existent. I would like to have more sex, but he tells me he’ll come to bed, and then, hes drank 2 much and it’s too late.
When I come home late at night, he doesn’t budge. he complains the messy house, despite having all the free time in the world, he doesn’t even help around the house.
I love my boyfriend. But I am fed up, I’ve tried talking to him over and over, most recently this morning and nothing has worked. I don’t know what to do. I love his family, I’ve never had a stable family before, but this is killing me.
TL:DR: boyfriend has been unemployed since December. Doesn’t seem interested in spending time with me, and would rather play video games.
Thank you, all advice is appreciated.
a few months later
[19F] living with sort of loser boyfriend [25M] and his amazing family. how can I leave?
quote:Hi Reddit,
I’m in need of some serious advice. I’m 19, I live with my boyfriend who is 25. We live together with his family. I love his parents and I love him, but things have hit a rough patch.
For some context, I’ll try to briefly explain our problems. Bare with me
Since about mid December, he has been jobless. He spends most of his time on his computer playing video games. He doesn’t spend time with me. He seldom helps out around the house. He has quit playing games, but I don’t expect it to last. He is still unemployed with no real drive for anything.
His childhood friend passed away about a month or so after he lost his job. I understand how difficult it is to lose someone, I really do. But at some point you need to start taking steps to move on. It’s been half a year. I have offered to help, his family has, and he hasn’t taken it.
The situation gets more difficult. I have a terminally ill younger brother that I have been close with all my life, he lives half way across the country in my hometown with my parents.
When I first moved away two years ago, my family genuinely thought that my brothers condition would improve. It hasn’t, and sadly, my brother most likely doesn’t have much time left.
I need to move home back to my hometown, half way across the freaking country.
How do I do this? I’ve never moved out of someone’s home before, let alone with a whole other family that I love. I grew up in a unstable home and this will be hard.
TL;DR: living with boyfriend and his family. need to move out back to my hometown because I have a sick sibling. love my boyfriend but he is a grown rear end man and not working or doing anything with his life so I can’t take him with me.
Any advice or words are greatly appreciated. I am incredibly lost.
Thanks y’all
then later still
boyfriend [25M] not interested in having sex or going down on me [21F]
quote:Hey all, I’m very frustrated. I’ve been on this subreddit for awhile now and I feel like it’s time for me to make a post. I love my boyfriend. We have a lot of love in our relationship. We are very cuddly and affectionate, but when it comes to our sex life it’s kind of dead. We don’t have sex that often, and when we do he’s not fully hard and only likes to do it in one position (doggy style) Sometimes we switch it up, but rarely. I’ve communicated my kinks to him, and he doesn’t have an interest in exploring them. I explore his completely and happily but he does not do the same for me. I’ll ask him during sex to choke me or give me a spanking or pull my hair, he doesn’t do it, or if he does it’s for like half a second. I’ve tried sitting him down and explaining what feels good but he doesn’t seem interested in doing it. It’s not like I’m asking him to legit hurt me, and he knows this. I have a hard time finishing because of my antidepressants. It’s easy for me to do it, but for someone else it can be hard. But not difficult. In fact, probably like 15 mins of oral would do it for me. I really enjoy when he goes down on me. He says he likes doing it but I don’t think he really does. He’s said a few times that he’d like it better if I was bare down there. So last week I got a full wax and he went down on me but for only less than five mins. I asked him to do it a bit more and he reluctantly did it for probably two extra minutes. Obviously I didn’t finish. I go down on him all the time and I love doing it. It hurts my jaw but I power through it because I love making the person I love feel good. When I ask my boyfriend for sex he usually makes an excuse about it. He likes to jerk off on me, and has no problem, but only if I’m not looking at him. I don’t know what’s wrong. He’s told me he’s not a super sexual person before and it might have something to do with depression. I totally understand, but like, why not eat me out or try and finger me. he doesn’t HAVE to have sex with me, just maybe help me finish. I end up masturbating by myself while he’s on his computer in bed or while he’s asleep next to me. I don’t understand. Not to toot my own horn but I take care of my self really well and would like to think I dress nice and have a nice body. Ughhhh I wish I could fix this.
and still later
AITA when I ask for my bf to drive me to work/the bus stop when I pay for most of his gas?
quote:Hey all, So I work pretty far away from home. It is so much easier to drive. Unfortunately because I am partially blind I cannot drive. My boyfriend has his licence. He doesn’t work, he sort of goes to school. Every time I ask him to drive me or pick me up he gets irritated. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. It’s a 15 min drive, I know it’s inconvenient but I pay for his gas 90% of the time. My main problem is when it’s late at night and scary on transit. I just want a safe ride home but he puts up a fuss. I’m nice about asking and I’ll always buy him food on the way if he wants. so reddit. AITA???
finally
Boyfriend [25M] makes comments about my/our weight knowing I [20F] am in recovery for Bulimia
quote:hey all,
I’m not in the greatest headspace. now that summer has come along, I am feeling very ashamed of my body. Since recovery I have put on weight, some of my clothes don’t even fit me anymore.
I’m going through so much stress. I don’t purge anymore, but sometimes I still binge. Yesterday was a bad trauma anniversary for me. I was feeling like garbage and ate a pint of ice cream (that I bought myself)
Seeing me throw away the empty pint of ice cream, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted some of his protein shake. I said no it’s got too many calories, I used that as an excuse because protein powder gives me explosive diarrhea, because no one wants to hear that right when they’re eating.
He laughed at me and said “oh but you’ll eat a whole tub of ice cream, that’s not enough for you?” I felt so upset, it was in front of his family. I felt like crying but I held it in.
We went back to the grocery store, bought more ice cream and snacks for my work tomorrow. We were eating ice cream together, and he suddenly took it away from me. I was like “oh I wanted more” and he was like “you shouldn’t have anymore. we are getting fat.”
He knows I have an eating disorder, he knows it’s bad in the summer, he knows I’m still in early recovery, the comments didn’t stop there. I got visibly upset and went to grab the drinks I bought from the fridge and he told me not to drink it. I said please stop saying that but he kept commenting on how we are both getting fat. He said things about me stuffing my face with junk food, this made me upset and I started crying.
He said how he didn’t understand my disorder and why I would just work out instead of purging and binging. I kept crying more and more. I cried all night last night and this morning. All I can think about is purging. It’s literally all that’s on my mind, I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t understand why he would say these things. I’m heart broken, I just don’t understand. Thank you for reading, I’m sorry about the rant. I thought my boyfriend could he my support system, but this isn’t the first time he’s said such awful things.
I don’t understand, why would he say it? how can you be so careless? maybe I’m the sensitive one.
TL;DR: boyfriend makes comments about weight loss, makes fun of me for binging knowing I’m recovering from a bad eating disorder.
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Aug 27, 2019 16:53
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Fight Man has tried to find love!
AITA for not paying for the girl I was on a date with strictly because of her political views?
quote:Hi guys,
So I met this girl on tinder last week and we have been talking non stop for a few days. Now I’m really not over my ex but I’m trying to be and I’m moving forward and taking steps to try to be. I went on a date with this girl. She was a beautiful girl. I’m not a good looking guy in my opinion so I was surprised I even got her.
We hit it off at dinner and even talked about a second date before dinner was even over and then we were gonna head back to my house. She’s really cool. Non judgemental everything. Or so I thought.
The subject somehow switched to politics. I told her I got into a fight with a guy who used to be my friend once because he was always showing me stupid StevenCrowder videos. In which I never agree with. He would just show them to me to piss me off and make me go on a long rant. She exclaimed that she loved Stevens videos and always agreed and told me to check out Milo Yinnapolos or however you spell his name whom I also can’t stand. I told her no way. We got into a kinda argument where I learned that she was a republican who is pro life, anti gay marriage, anti trans, pro death penalty, anti drugs of any kind including weed, and I’m the complete opposite of all those things and I’m very outspoken about them. I told her she was insane for thinking the way she does. She took offense. I immediately was rethinking the second date idea. She tried to tell me that it was okay and that we could probably still work we could just keep politics out of it and it’s all good. I tried to go along with it but there was no way I was paying for her meal anymore. I need to really get to know her if she has these kinds of views before I waste money.
When it came time to pay the bill I told them it would actually be separate and the girl looked really offended. Later on at my house she told me that it hurt her feelings that I said I would pay and then didn’t and that she would’ve wanted to go to a cheaper restaurant had I told her she’d be paying for herself. I told her I couldn’t pay for her yet with those types of political views. It escalated into a screaming match and me screaming at her to get out of my house and pushing her out the door basically. She later texted me and said that I really scared her but that she wants to give me another chance because she wants to try to help me with my anger and stuff and she doesn’t mind the opposing political views. She also said she needed to come back tomorrow and get her shoes and socks and wallet because I guess I kicked her out barefoot and without her wallet without noticing. She said that something like that can not happen again though because she’s tired of guys who are like that. She said I was acting like an rear end in a top hat. AITA? I just think I’m not because I guess I said I’d pay for her but she should always be prepared to pay for herself anyway and I’m not required to pay for anyone’s meal.
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Aug 27, 2019 16:55
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 13, 2024 23:05
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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Live in boyfriend [25M] is unemployed, broke and addicted to gaming, I [19F] am fed up and frustrated.
a few months later
[19F] living with sort of loser boyfriend [25M] and his amazing family. how can I leave?
then later still
boyfriend [25M] not interested in having sex or going down on me [21F]
and still later
AITA when I ask for my bf to drive me to work/the bus stop when I pay for most of his gas?
finally
Boyfriend [25M] makes comments about my/our weight knowing I [20F] am in recovery for Bulimia
So her boyfriend doesn’t age, but her age oscillates forward and backward. Wild, I wonder what curse got put on them
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Aug 27, 2019 16:57
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Aug 27, 2019 09:54
on it, and endlessly stamping it on 99% of all posts ITT.
