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ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug
Mass shootings happen so often they aren't even news anymore.

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Electric Phantasm
Apr 7, 2011

YOSPOS

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Mass shootings happen so often they aren't even news anymore.

In fact another just happened in Ohio. :(

Takanago
Jun 2, 2007

You'll see...
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1158024171252834305

Bonus:


EDIT: this came out a few minutes after I posted this

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1158031865946812416

Takanago has a new favorite as of 16:09 on Aug 4, 2019

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010



Context:
https://twitter.com/neiltyson/statu...ingawful.com%2F

morallyobjected
Nov 3, 2012

toss-up between jesus h christ and :yikes:

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴

Smash Mouth, inexplicably, had the best response to that tweet.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug
Doesn't matter, Smash Mouth didn't eat the eggs. That is an unforgivable crime I will never forgive them for.

IT'S TOO LATE, SMASH MOUTH. YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN THE EGGS WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Doesn't matter, Smash Mouth didn't eat the eggs. That is an unforgivable crime I will never forgive them for.

IT'S TOO LATE, SMASH MOUTH. YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN THE EGGS WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE.

Smash mouth did eat the eggs

AFewBricksShy
Jun 19, 2003

of a full load.



Baron von Eevl posted:

Smash Mouth, inexplicably, had the best response to that tweet.

https://twitter.com/smashmouth/status/1158094341019058176?s=20

for those who were curious

C.M. Kruger
Oct 28, 2013

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

Smash mouth did eat the eggs

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!


Nice to see that AxeManiac has rebounded from losing his moderator gig.

Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1159217426720014338?s=19

loving hell

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.



She’s Had Too Many Chances: 6 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Give Grandma Her Whistle Back

quote:

We’ve been through this too many times. We take Grandma’s whistle, then she cries and begs and promises she’ll behave, and the second we give it back to her, she’s right back to her old tricks. We can’t let her keep playing us like fools. Here are six reasons why we need to take away her whistle privileges for good.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
Let's have a happy classic! :)

Hubby Rick... Ya Gotta Love Him!

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.




The saga of Jean and Hubby Rick is one for the ages. I'm a little sad they never put out the zine they hinted at in With Friends Like These... (Jean's neighbors are hipster fans of her column and make a zine about her.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

It's also been a while since Jim Anchower has rapped at us

Yvonmukluk
Oct 10, 2012

Everything is Sinister


CD Projekt Red Says They’ve Eliminated The Need For Crunch On ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ By Breeding Grotesque Human-Rat Hybrid Programmers

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1164231208466812928

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1166053977353572353

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


UPDATED ALERT: Hold On, She’s Gone Again. We Looked Away For One Second And Now She’s Gone.

Leon Sumbitches
Mar 27, 2010

Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.






UPDATED ALERT: Okay, Got Her Back. She Was Just Buying A Pepsi. Just Forget It, We’re All Good Now.


Clickhole posted:

Please don’t share this article.

Wow, that was a close one. We’re grateful to everyone who was on the lookout for Brittany during this difficult time. It’s never easy when a teen goes missing, and we’re glad that this situation had a happy ending. Again, no need to let anyone else know about this. Brittany’s all set. Thanks.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻
Kelly on the bleeding edge of pop culture, as always :allears:

Edit: Oh, I didn't know Miley was in the news again and thought Kelly had just now discovered her new persona.

Dr Christmas has a new favorite as of 03:37 on Aug 28, 2019

RJWaters2
Dec 16, 2011

It was not not not so great
*Famous Song is a new one that caught me off guard

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴
This is so, so much worse than when he's doing the same thing with like Melania, Jesus.

Electric Phantasm
Apr 7, 2011

YOSPOS

School Administration Reminds Female Students Bulletproof Vests Must Cover Midriff

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1167512352717250560

I like it when they just go completely surreal.

Electric Phantasm
Apr 7, 2011

YOSPOS

Not gonna lie that donkey looks pretty cool now.

Aramek
Dec 22, 2007

Cutest tumor in all of Oncology!
Most metals donkey.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/HardDriveMag/status/1169618687684300800

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



As an introvert, that is also how I feel, sometimes.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Krankenstyle posted:

As an introvert, that is also how I feel, sometimes.

Thank you for your courage.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Sometimes I am in serious mood but sometimes I’m in a laughing mood

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



More like oldvertless

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻
It sounds like there are some abominable ambiverts in this thread.

Away with thee, foul aberrations!

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Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Behold: The Children Of Others

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