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Lobok posted:Captain ACAB Wouldn't work since the whale was white.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 16:15 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 03:35 |
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Mr. Bad Guy posted:This hit me too hard this morning. I've had this issue all week. Right in the feels.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 16:19 |
"I need to speak to the whale manager" Poor guy, he needs a better family.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 16:20 |
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 16:34 |
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I was so desperately hoping that when she asked "Where are we?", the guy would just go "... the ocean".
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 16:43 |
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You know how when you do your daily devotional in public, a bunch of rough teens come up and call you a pussy? No more.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:03 |
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zoux posted:You know how when you do your daily devotional in public, a bunch of rough teens come up and call you a pussy? No more. Powerful Bobby Hill energy off this bible.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:10 |
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You know, when they first pitched the idea of putting bomb rear end titties on Jesus I was skeptical, but if we're gonna sell this thing to teenaged boys then bold new directions are the way to go.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:12 |
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zoux posted:You know how when you do your daily devotional in public, a bunch of rough teens come up and call you a pussy? No more. Just finished reading the cover and now I have spiked hair with frosted tips and am wearing four or five leather bracelets
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:14 |
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Pyfb
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:15 |
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This one seems to be made from steel flooring for some reason. I love the "gross and gory" stuff, since most of that in the bible is supremely weird. quote:Saul replied, "Say to David, 'The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.'" Saul's plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. the LORD Aldo Raine sayeth to them, I want my foreskins
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:20 |
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Also, I'm white and I'm afraid of the police.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:22 |
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I was at a bar the other night, and these two large women were speaking with a strong accent. I said "Excuse me, are you two ladies from Scotland" To which they responded "It's WALES ye idiot" So I said "Oh I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?" Annnd that's my only whale joke.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:28 |
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Bombadilillo posted:
I remember the Sunday School Dropouts podcast covering a Bible like this, along with a Bible for girls. It's so much worse than you think.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:33 |
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It’s quite an accomplishment to take so much crazy insane badass stuff and make it sound incredibly boring but the Bible manages to do it
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:34 |
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Lobok posted:Captain ACAB All Cetaceans Are Beautiful?
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:55 |
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oldpainless posted:It’s quite an accomplishment to take so much crazy insane badass stuff and make it sound incredibly boring but the Bible manages to do it In sunday school, I remember I used to get in trouble for reading random poo poo in the bible instead of what we were supposed to be reading.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:55 |
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BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:All Cetaceans Are Beautiful?
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 17:57 |
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Iron Crowned posted:In sunday school, I remember I used to get in trouble for reading random poo poo in the bible instead of what we were supposed to be reading. That's probably why the Catholic church has never really encouraged common people to read the bible. And I mean this isn't even a pre-reformation thing. My very old, cranky, and conservative Catholic grandfather used to get angry with my aunt just for reading the bible, since she was a *gasp* woman and that's the priests job. And this was in the 20th drat century. It's very much a "do what we tell you not what's in the book" kind of religion.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:01 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:I would totally watch a show called Whale Police though. Every week another whale fugitive is brought to justice. I feel like Ugly Americans may have done a bit similar to this.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:02 |
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zoux posted:
"Presentation Page" Guy is on a Mission to Flavourtown
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:07 |
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BillyC posted:That poor guy He's trying so hard to bring them into the experience but the lady freaking out just makes the kids freak out harder. What an insane reaction to loving whales of all things. I really hope he divorced her over this. It's pretty good grounds, I'd say.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:18 |
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oldpainless posted:It's quite an accomplishment to take so much crazy insane badass stuff and make it sound incredibly boring but the Bible manages to do it
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:21 |
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You just need to supercut all the really horny parts into a cliff notes at the front and you'll get teenage boys all over your Bible. Too bad the sort of denominations encouraging proselytizing like editing Bible's for specific audiences are very interested in not calling out the horny parts.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 18:45 |
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I think this probably would work on a human but not if you’re doing it to yourself.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:04 |
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PYF Funny Pictures: supercut all the really horny parts
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:04 |
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deoju posted:You guys remember threads with (56k warnings) in the title? Thanks Imagshack!
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:37 |
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:43 |
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RatHat posted:I think this probably would work on a human but not if you’re doing it to yourself. You can totally train yourself to have positive associations. Idk how it would work with depression though, if you started doing something only when you were feeling lovely it seems like it'd pretty quickly start having the opposite effect.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:44 |
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Typical scorpio
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:45 |
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Brewmaster posted:PYF Funny Pictures: supercut all the really horny parts I only just now got the sexual component of that. My issue with it was it seems to be two edges pieces going to together the wrong way.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 19:58 |
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What a piece of rear end
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 20:02 |
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zoux posted:You know how when you do your daily devotional in public, a bunch of rough teens come up and call you a pussy? No more. I'd offer good odds that Ezekiel 23:20 isn't highlighted in any way and the Song of Solomon is missing completely
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 20:05 |
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 20:16 |
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That whale video makes me so mad because that would honestly be the absolute coolest and best thing to ever happen to me, they've been my favourite type of animal since I was a little kid and any time I ever see any species of cetacean I literally shake because I'm so excited and happy. I could die the next day and my life would have been fulfilled.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 20:59 |
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ookiimarukochan posted:I'd offer good odds that Ezekiel 23:20 isn't highlighted in any way and the Song of Solomon is missing completely Donkey hung Egyptians blasting ropes of horse cum is Biblical
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 21:11 |
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Metaphoricalzoux posted:Donkey hung Egyptians blasting ropes of horse cum is Biblical God is the cuck in the metaphor and he is very not happy about it. Judah and Israel cheat on Him with huge hanging fellows, is literally the literally the metaphor. Hey boys, wanna hear something "gory and gross"!!!! *guitar rift, skateboards*! (See Hosea for a literal cuck metaphor) Bombadilillo has a new favorite as of 21:27 on Aug 29, 2019 |
# ? Aug 29, 2019 21:20 |
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Picnic Princess posted:That whale video makes me so mad because that would honestly be the absolute coolest and best thing to ever happen to me, they've been my favourite type of animal since I was a little kid and any time I ever see any species of cetacean I literally shake because I'm so excited and happy. I could die the next day and my life would have been fulfilled. Glad it's not just me. I wanted to reach through the screen and beat that woman to death with a fresh tuna. They're unlikely to see something that awesome for the rest of their life and all she could do was call 911 and run away. If a unicorn poo poo rainbows on her lawn, she'd probably run screaming to the HOA.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 21:35 |
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Bombadilillo posted:Metaphorical God has a micropenis
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 21:42 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 03:35 |
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Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:I only just now got the sexual component of that. My issue with it was it seems to be two edges pieces going to together the wrong way. That took me a few seconds as well.
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# ? Aug 29, 2019 22:01 |