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Renegret posted:I have such a disdain for lactation consultants. I’m sorry you and your wife went through all that. I have a lot of complaints about the culture around the current breastfeeding push. Like, breastfeeding worked out ok for me but I definitely felt a really weird pressure from some of the nurses and lactation consultants when I was in the hospital and had a couple road bumps. New parents are in a tremendously vulnerable emotional (and physical) state, and the do-or-die attitude some resources have is really unhealthy. That inflexible approach sets parents up for failure with other parenting challenges, and comes along with a huge feeling of shame when they should be bonding and recovering. Never mind the challenges of pumping after the mom heads back to work. The push for a minimum of 6mos of breastfeeding totally glosses over the very real obstacles that women encounter in their workplaces, which the majority of working American women head back to in under 12 weeks. There’s a whole undercurrent of ‘if you don’t breastfeed for a year it’s just because you don’t care enough’ which is total bullshit to throw at someone. Educate, but for fucks sake let families pick the approach that works for them and support that.
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Sep 3, 2019 13:14
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Renegret posted:I have such a disdain for lactation consultants. I would say 90% of the people we went through the journey with (mothers group, etc.) had to start to bottle feed within the first two weeks due to their babies losing too much weight. Our boy was, and is, a really good latcher. He gets right up on that boob and he loves it. However, from day one, he never got enough milk. There are few things as stressful as seeing your baby screaming while your wife is trying desperately to give him the food he needs but her body is unable to provide enough. Goodness it's making me sad just posting this! We had the same experience where everyone we spoke to basically didn't believe us, specifically, they didn't believe me but they convinced my wife that she had enough milk. Nothing better than a screaming and hungry baby with two parents on no sleep and still recovering from hospital! A lot of the advice we got was seriously harmful and had no basis in reality, from people who aren't doctors but are doctor-adjacent i.e hospital run programs. We had people tell us that bottle feeding once a day would prevent milk from coming in (lol), the classic and mythical "nipple confusion" and my personal favourite - the baby will prefer the bottle and reject the mother because it's less work (this one was particularly effective on my wife for obvious reasons). I don't know who is signing off on these programs but something really should be done. The only advice that should be given to new parents imo is "do what loving works, here's a list of things you can safely try". After our experience with this and sleep related advice, I don't believe a word of what we heard in any of those programs. Because this post is a bit of a downer, I'll finish with a happy ending; ours, who was bottle fed from 2 weeks, still latches extremely well at 9m and enjoys morning and evening boobie with his mum. It's extremely cute to see them sharing that moment together with no stress.
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Sep 3, 2019 14:09
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I know I mentioned it like a few posts ago, but Cribsheet and our pediatrician are basically the only sane and chill resources I’ve run into on breastfeeding. Also gently caress Ina May and all her guides.
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Sep 3, 2019 14:44
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abigserve posted:A lot of the advice we got was seriously harmful and had no basis in reality, from people who aren't doctors but are doctor-adjacent i.e hospital run programs. We had people tell us that bottle feeding once a day would prevent milk from coming in (lol), the classic and mythical "nipple confusion" and my personal favourite - the baby will prefer the bottle and reject the mother because it's less work (this one was particularly effective on my wife for obvious reasons). One thing that really gets me is understanding what we understand as medical fact, and what's a best guess. We've figured out, as a species, how to remove an organ from a dead person, put it in a living person, and have it function perfectly well. Many of us a lot of us have grown to put a lot of faith in the medical community because of the crazy poo poo we can do. So we're inclined to listen once they start spewing bullshit about breast milk and nipple confusion in the hospital, just a few hours after they surgically cut you open and pull the baby out in what's basically the most unnatural way imaginable. Our OB played a huge role in convincing my wife to just stop trying. He's the chillest person on the planet, and just kept asking, if it's not working, why are you even trying to bother? He was the first one to mention that the evidence that breast milk is better than formula is circumstantial at best, so why bother stressing yourself out if you're not enjoying it? I, for one, greatly appreciate not having to clean the pump anymore.
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Sep 3, 2019 15:42
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I’m so sorry there have been so many awful experiences with lactation consultants! The hospital I go to has an awesome team of lactation nurses who were really supportive. From day one they were realistic and basically told me not to worry, if I had to supplement with formula it was no big deal. I go to a breastfeeding support group every week and the nurses have always been supportive of whatever the moms are going through, and even give advice for bottle feeding if that’s what the moms need. They encourage breastfeeding and will try everything to make it work, but if it’s just not happening, they have never shamed anyone for supplementing or switching to formula, at least from what I’ve seen. Moms bring in coupons for formula and free samples for the other moms who need it, too. Fortunately for me my kid latches well and my problem is oversupply, but I was able to donate my extra milk to a mom who needed it so that was cool.
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Sep 3, 2019 17:09
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We formula fed by choice because I was struggling with PPA/PPD right after birth and it was a great choice for our family. Me and my husband could share feeding duties equally and my parents were able to watch her while I took as long of a nap as I could without having to worry about getting up to feed. We had the financial resources to buy formula and baby was delighted to drink it. Now that I'm back at work it has been a huge lifesaver. Breast may be best, but formula is a very close second. I'm never going to advocate against breastfeeding because it's cheap and if it works out, great...but I just wish that no one is guilted into feeling as emotionally gutted as I did about choosing not to breastfeed. Once I got on psych meds that you couldn't take while breastfeeding I was able to get back to feeling like myself.
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Sep 3, 2019 17:15
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I formula fed by choice because I had already given up my body to the whims of an angry alien for 10 months and I wanted it back. My baby is just great and certainly not undernourished, lazy, or rejecting me. I was firm and clear with all three lactation consultants who tried to change my mind in the first 12 hours after birth. “I am not going to breastfeed. We have chosen to go with formula. Thanks for coming and have a nice day.” My husband loudly kicked the last one out when she woke me up and started her spiel with “So I heard mommy doesn’t want to feed her baby? Why, mommy?” gently caress lactation consultants as a brand, a staff, and a record label.
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Sep 3, 2019 17:41
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Sweet Custom Van posted:“So I heard mommy doesn’t want to feed her baby? Why, mommy?” That’s an exceptional type of lovely. gently caress that consultant.
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Sep 3, 2019 18:02
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BadSamaritan posted:That’s an exceptional type of lovely. gently caress that consultant. Are we sure that this "lactation consultant" was a levelheaded medical professional? I'd think parts of that are already answered. However, gently caress that consultant is correct. In our case, we went to a health authority provided Lactation Consultant, and later a Doctor qualified in the subject (in Vancouver, BC). The LC clearly stated that fed was best and breast + bottle so that a full meal was provided was absolutely the right thing to do. The Doctor said the same thing, along with telling my other half that she may simply not have enough breast tissue for a full feed. Perhaps if we'd gone sooner there was a few possibilities (not certainties). But in both cases, both of the ones I encountered were clear that ensuring your kid got a good full meal of whatever breastmilk was available and then formula was correct. My own interpretation is that the messaging about breast feeding is best when it is a discretionary choice and nutrition/sustanance is not an issue has become so amplified without the reasons for it, that it's now "if you do not breastfeed you are monster who'd be best starving your baby than putting the Devil's powder in a bottle for it". This is not the case at all, do feed your baby using a bottle with formula and do not hesitate, the situation is not as dire as it may seem at the time. You are in no way a failed parent because your baby is getting something other than breastmilk. Don't demonise yourself because a simple encouragement in the right direction doesn't directly apply to your exact, specific circumstances. We're through it now. Some of the above is our, especially my fiancee's, thinking and how it changed. Our daughter ended up with breastmilk as available and formula for nutrition. She's absolutely fine and happy. For that matter, we are just as happy we came round to properly feeding her and do not regret that decision one bit. Also, here's an article that I saw at the time. I've only skim read it and I point out I'm a father, not a mother, but I do think it's relevant in many, many cases: Motherhood Is Hard To Get Wrong And here's the Fed is Best Foundation
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Sep 3, 2019 18:19
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The scientific consensus and study result reproduce rate aligns pretty well on breastfeeding being beneficial for mother and for child for ~6mo after birth. There’s been enough reviews of the literature that you can google your favorite, but there is undeniably some tangible benefits observed. What is never mentioned is that having a happy and engaged set of parents is also beneficial to children, and if what your family needs to be happy and engaged during the dark times after birth is mother sleeping beneficially through the father formula feeding in the middle of the night, ok then. I do want hospitals to default to the scientific consensus on best care though, which means helping people learn about breastfeeding. Sorry to the goons that had bad experiences with staff, and bravo to your husband for throwing the chipper guilt trip lady out.
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Sep 3, 2019 18:20
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I have 4 kids, 2 bio and 2 foster/adopted who we took home from the hospital. For obvious reasons, the two foster/adopted kids were never breastfed. So far, there is no obvious cognitive, physical, medical difference between all these kids. None are healthier than another, all get the same amount of colds and such. You would likely never know my oldest was breastfed for 13 months, my oldest daughter for 3ish months before going to formula and my two youngest were formula only from birth. I will never understand the obsession people have with forcing one way of feeding kids over another.
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Sep 3, 2019 18:29
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Ours wasn't keeping a paci in from day one, and pediatrician said later it was because he was on the breast and once he started on bottles and became more used to them he'd be able to hold the paci in. It would always fall out. In a haze from like the first month, but if I remember right the lactation consultants all said nipple confusion but gave us pacis. He's been on the same kind of paci (the Philips avent silicone ones) since he was born, and his pediatrician also said a few months ago that those are NEWBORN PACIS. I don't even know WTF anymore. He breastfed like a champ until he was uninterested, at which point we gave him the bottle, because he wanted the boob less and less as time went on and sort of weaned himself off it to the point it was no trouble at all getting him on the bottle, he just took to it. He never was really confused between the boob and the paci or the bottle and the paci. Nothing makes sense anymore, but every nurse inside our hospital in the maternity ward said different things about everything we were supposed to do or not do, so we kind of shrugged and did what seemed best instead of trying to figure out which nurses to listen to or not listen to. One said it was okay for him to sleep on his side, everyone else said back only. Some said no paci, some said paci was okay. Who the hell knows anymore
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Sep 3, 2019 19:34
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life is killing me posted:Ours wasn't keeping a paci in from day one, and pediatrician said later it was because he was on the breast and once he started on bottles and became more used to them he'd be able to hold the paci in. It would always fall out. In a haze from like the first month, but if I remember right the lactation consultants all said nipple confusion but gave us pacis. He's been on the same kind of paci (the Philips avent silicone ones) since he was born, and his pediatrician also said a few months ago that those are NEWBORN PACIS. I don't even know WTF anymore. He breastfed like a champ until he was uninterested, at which point we gave him the bottle, because he wanted the boob less and less as time went on and sort of weaned himself off it to the point it was no trouble at all getting him on the bottle, he just took to it. He never was really confused between the boob and the paci or the bottle and the paci. My way of raising children is good and the only right way to do it and everyone else is wrong  IN MY DAY WHEN THEY TEETHED I JUST PULLED OUT THE RUM AND....
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Sep 3, 2019 19:45
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I used a lactation consultant and she was great. 10 minutes tutoring and suddenly I knew how to breastfeed. Agreed that there's a weird pressure to do it though. This interacts badly with the hormones you get after birth that make you extra emotional.
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Sep 3, 2019 19:48
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Renegret posted:My way of raising children is good and the only right way to do it and everyone else is wrong There've been days when I wished it was okay to pull out the Jack so we could sleep for a bit, even recently in his ongoing toddler months. Lately he's waking up early as gently caress in the morning and just freaking out and not settling though he's clearly tired. Since this started I've started mentally wandering to the Jack and "what if, just this once?"
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Sep 3, 2019 19:49
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I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding the first day in the hospital. She would put her mouth on me but wasn’t sucking right and getting anything out of it, and I didn’t know. I kept asking the nurses if I was doing it right but everyone was just sort of like, well, looks fine, guess it’s fine. She lost 9.4% of her body weight and was screaming with hunger at her 24 hour tests.  I wish I’d had someone there to tell me what I was doing wrong because I felt so bad she was suffering for so long.We supplemented with formula the first couple of weeks because the initial issues meant my milk took like a week to come in properly. My pediatrician has LCs who are also certified nurse practitioners on staff and I have to say they’ve been really helpful. I’ve had some issues since we started to figure out breastfeeding and it’s been really nice to have someone watch me do it and show me how to correct the baby’s latch. They’re not pushy at all though, I would probably feel differently if they were. Also, I went back to work today and had to pump multiple times a day for the first time.... boy do I HATE it. I didn’t get quite enough to feed her during the day (my husband was feeding her defrosted milk at home and she took 10 oz in 3 feedings, I produced like eight and a half at work), so we’ll see what happens from now on. I also only slept an hour last night because I was so worried about leaving her and irrationally concerned she wouldn’t miss me. 
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Sep 3, 2019 23:10
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Alterian posted:I tried my hardest to get both my kids to like pacifiers, but they never took to them. We've had a 50% rate of acceptance on that; both #1 and #3 loved their pacifiers, but neither #2 nor #4 wanted any. (Interestingly, they were never interested in sucking on their thumbs or anything else, either; it was 100% boobies or GTFO as far as they were concerned. #4 actually never even took a bottle.)
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Sep 3, 2019 23:23
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A Game of Chess posted:Also, I went back to work today and had to pump multiple times a day for the first time.... boy do I HATE it.  Yup it’s not great. You’ll find a new rhythm to the workday, though. Your pumping supply will probably improve- my first day back, I had really crummy output. It improved as I got used to pumping at work and got better at distracting myself from how ridiculous I felt. Be aware of what your rights are regarding accommodations and be as protective as possible of pumping within the time windows that you need.
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Sep 4, 2019 00:28
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A Game of Chess posted:I also only slept an hour last night because I was so worried about leaving her and irrationally concerned she wouldn’t miss me. Hi welcome to my life 🙄 Someday I'm hoping to feel more confident that I am more important to my kiddo than her other caregivers. For now I'm trying to get as many smiles and snuggles in as I can and be glad she is adjusting well to being cared for with different people at different locations.
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Sep 4, 2019 00:37
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Luckily I'm basically left alone with my work during the day and my office has a door, so I've just put up a do not disturb sign. It worked out pretty well today and I was able to actually keep working during it -- I know I have the right to the time but I also came back to a huge stack of assignments. Maybe the caregiver thing gets easier as the kids get older?
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Sep 4, 2019 01:20
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Yup when I was pumping my body adjusted fairly quickly to 3x/day with a double electric pump. Once at 7:30am, once at about 4-5 (some discomfort at times by this point) and then 10:30. I was also able to feed him on the breast through the night (the ONLY time he would latch and stay on properly)
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Sep 4, 2019 01:59
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My wife had to rent a hospital-grade pump to get enough.
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Sep 4, 2019 03:20
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PerniciousKnid posted:My wife had to rent a hospital-grade pump to get enough. The hospital I was at had Medela and that’s all I knew so I got a Medela when I was discharged. Went to target right away and whew was I winded walking around but had no choice because I had just turned the insurance paperwork in at the beginning of my checkup when whoopsie you’re being induced today happened. When the paperwork came through the woman from Mommy Xpress talked to me for hours about pumps and we decided on Spectra. Holy poo poo that pump is amazing. Highly recommend to anyone who needs one. If you have more children, get a Spectra. That thing has some power. And the different settings make a huge difference. Re: LCs from earlier in the thread ... I’m so sorry people have bad experiences with that. I was warned by a friend that the hospital I was going to pushes breast feeding. I told them that was fine because that was the plan, and he said they made his wife feel terrible because she didn’t. I did not have that experience. No staff was allowed in my room unless I said they could come in. The LC was only allowed in because I requested them at a specific time. I saw two and they were both awesome. We couldn’t get a latch so between trying I was pumping and I was getting 20 mL of colostrum. They actually encouraged me to keep pumping at that point because that was way more than she could consume and I could save the leftovers and get some rest and the nurses could feed or my husband could. We never did get a good latch going but all they cared about was the baby getting fed and that I was OK pumping. So I have no idea how my friends wife had such an awful experience with the LCs and I didn’t, other than the hospital policy is to get everyone to at least try and she refused to try? But they are very open about that. They tell everyone that during the maternity tour. That unless you have a medical reason they just want you to try. And really I don’t think there’s any harm in trying. I tried, it didn’t work so they did everything they could to support the direction I wanted to go. Even gave me formula to take home in case I needed it if I wanted to stop pumping. Also I stopped exclusively pumping at 6 months because I wanted my life back, and my OB who was pregnant with her 2nd said she doesn’t see any reason to go past 6 other than if you just love to torture yourself pumping in your car on the way to work (lol). And there was one lactation room at work for 7 women to share. With room for only one. It was basically a broom closet with a sink. And since we are on the topic .... I seem to have never dried up. I could start up again right now if I wanted and it’s been almost 5 months. My treat whole pumping was to eat a toblerone and I unknowing conditioned myself. If I have one now I start leaking. 
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Sep 4, 2019 05:17
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Omg we are NOT going back to this out of nowhere screaming night wake up. I can’t go back to this falling asleep in my arms with paci hanging loosely from mouth but from dead sleep to wide the gently caress awake as soon as I put him in his crib thing. He’s 16mo old FFS, refuses to put himself back to sleep and 45 minutes of rocking to sleep and then having him jolt awake and begin to scream at the mere prospect of me not holding him for 2hrs straight at 1am is not something I am having the mental strength to handle right now. No idea where this is coming from. He fought a nap today too so only slept in car, visibly exhausted the rest of the day but refused to go to sleep for nap. Mom had to leave him screaming in his crib at bedtime because he kept wanting to stay up and read a book. Seriously no idea wtf.
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Sep 4, 2019 07:53
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Wheeee we just finished a few weeks of this. Around now is pretty normal for a sleep regression and oh my god this one was a killer. Seem to be easing back on it now, but I was wrecked with sleep for I reckon 4 weeks there. Be kind to yourself, fall back on your routines, whatever they are, and let your baby cry if you need to step away for a bit and recalibrate. You haven’t done anything wrong, baby’s gotta baby, toddlers gotta toddle.
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Sep 4, 2019 08:07
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So to keep on breastfeeding chat, my wife has been breastfeeding our 9 month old and we’ve been pretty lucky with it so haven’t needed to shell out and buy formula. Now we’ve been giving her solids as well, to the point where she’s breastfeeding in the morning and night and solids during the day. My wife is super pro active about cooking up lots of everything like veggies and protein and fruit etc. so no complaints there. And our daughter is eating like a champ and every check up has been growing in the expected range and so on. She is going back to work in a few months and she wants to ween our daughter off but the nurse was a bit “ehhh...” about it saying we should still breastfeed. Also she is super hungry in the morning after a feed and my wife is feeling that our daughter isn’t even getting enough from it anymore. She’s taken to food really well, is there a problem with going mostly food at this point and supplementing it with formula? How should she take it? She takes a sippy cup for water at the moment but has never really taken to a bottle well. Do we just sippy cup the formula?
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Sep 4, 2019 08:37
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My 2 y/o daughter absolutely loving loves the garbage truck. They come to our apartment building at 7am on Wednesdays. This morning she heard the truck pull up, and bolts upright, yelling, "The garbage truck! So exciting! Go see garbage truck!". She then stands in her bedroom window watching the garbage people load the trash into the truck. They seem to know her by now, and wave and smile to her, which throws her into a laughing fit every time. 
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Sep 4, 2019 10:26
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teacup posted:So to keep on breastfeeding chat, my wife has been breastfeeding our 9 month old and we’ve been pretty lucky with it so haven’t needed to shell out and buy formula. I first went back to work doing substitute teaching when my daughter was 7 months, sent her to daycare with 2 bottles of breast milk, she downed it every day. Had a break over Christmas, 2 months away from daycare, and she flat out refused it. Tried for a few weeks and then just accepted she wanted boob and nothing else. This was around when she started to drop feeds anyway. On daycare days, she’d have a feed on wake up in the morning, then have breakfast, then a feed on pick up and one before bed. Gradually bedtime feed dropped, then pick up feed, and now she just has one feed in the morning. Eating well, healthy and strong. No issues.
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Sep 4, 2019 10:59
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teacup posted:So to keep on breastfeeding chat, my wife has been breastfeeding our 9 month old and we’ve been pretty lucky with it so haven’t needed to shell out and buy formula. IMHO, no worries about transitioning to formula here for a number of reasons. AAP (eyeroll) dictates that formula is the primary source of calories for kids under one, but the reason they're so adamant about that is that historically (1940s-1960s) people were giving kids food RIDICULOUSLY early. Like, as in a few days old early. And guess who was saying this was a good idea? Doctors! So now they have to walk it back. Combine that with the "breast is best" push and I can see why well meaning providers are hemming and hawing about you guys switching over. But in your individual case, your kid is highly interested in/enjoying solids, gaining well, and basically self-weaning. I see absolutely no problem with changing over to formula. The motto here should be "you provide, child decides," aka, offer her a nice variety of solids as you have been doing as well as formula (sippy cup or open cup is fine, you would want to be transitioning off the bottle if she used one in a few months anyway and you might as well get some cup drinking practice in) and let her at it without stressing yourself about what she's consuming the most of. The fallacy here is, we actually cannot control what she's going to consume most of anyway. You've been offering breastmilk and she's telling you that she wants to be eating lots of solids, nothing wrong with trusting her and following her lead. Plus, if mom feels formula is a good fit right now, sounds like you've got all the pieces you need for a successful transition.
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Sep 4, 2019 13:08
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Seems like it's less of an issue if formula vs breastmilk and more the nurse is concerned that a 9 month old wouldn't be getting a full diet of minerals and nutrients from a primarily solid diet. I would be worried too
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Sep 4, 2019 14:15
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Sarah posted:
This is where the shittiness on the hospital's end comes in and where attitudes need to change. Birth is an especially emotional time with all the hormones, lack of sleep, etc. It's honestly none of the hospital's business why someone doesn't want to breastfeed. Think of it from a feminist point of view: A women has agency over her body. Nobody should be able to make a woman do something to herself she doesn't want to do / wants to do. It doesn't matter the justification. Just because someone doesn't have a medical reason to not breastfeed, doesn't mean they should be told to "just try". It should be asked once when the woman checks in "Do you plan to breastfeed?" and that's that. Birth is stressful enough.
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Sep 4, 2019 14:31
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Alterian posted:This is where the shittiness on the hospital's end comes in and where attitudes need to change. Birth is an especially emotional time with all the hormones, lack of sleep, etc. It's honestly none of the hospital's business why someone doesn't want to breastfeed. Think of it from a feminist point of view: A women has agency over her body. Nobody should be able to make a woman do something to herself she doesn't want to do / wants to do. It doesn't matter the justification. Just because someone doesn't have a medical reason to not breastfeed, doesn't mean they should be told to "just try". It should be asked once when the woman checks in "Do you plan to breastfeed?" and that's that. Birth is stressful enough. I'm laughing at the memory of my wife, 12 hours post op from a C-Section, and me, 30something hours without sleep, getting poo poo from the hospital staff for wanting to send the baby to the nursery so we could sleep. On our 3rd and final night in the hospital, I walked the baby to the nursery myself, and told them to just let us enjoy our final full night of sleep for the next 2 years of our lives. It's strange. The medical care we got at the hospital was incredibly good. But for some reason all sense went out the window once it came to how we chose to take care of the baby. I don't deny the benefits of skin to skin contact with the newborn, but wow they were super weird about it.
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Sep 4, 2019 15:11
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Alterian posted:This is where the shittiness on the hospital's end comes in and where attitudes need to change. Birth is an especially emotional time with all the hormones, lack of sleep, etc. It's honestly none of the hospital's business why someone doesn't want to breastfeed. Think of it from a feminist point of view: A women has agency over her body. Nobody should be able to make a woman do something to herself she doesn't want to do / wants to do. It doesn't matter the justification. Just because someone doesn't have a medical reason to not breastfeed, doesn't mean they should be told to "just try". It should be asked once when the woman checks in "Do you plan to breastfeed?" and that's that. Birth is stressful enough. I see your point but no one made her choose that hospital. She had her choice of any of maybe 10 hospitals in the metro area. She gave permission for the LC to enter the room to ask then felt harassed.  The hospital isn’t trying to push anyone to do anything. They ask you to try and if you don’t there’s formula in the drawer. It’s their policy to ask, not force you. I was really tired yesterday and maybe didn’t come across as I intended. They ask you to try. They don’t tell you to try. They don’t force you to try. No one holds the baby on you and forces you. If you decline then you decline. They tell you in advance that someone is going to ask you to try if you let them in the room. If being asked once is harassment well ... I don’t know what to say about that.
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Sep 4, 2019 15:14
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Renegret posted:I'm laughing at the memory of my wife, 12 hours post op from a C-Section, and me, 30something hours without sleep, getting poo poo from the hospital staff for wanting to send the baby to the nursery so we could sleep. First kid was AWESOME with all the nursery time in the hospital. Five years later when we had our second (three months ago) it's now a "baby friendly" hospital and the baby stays with you the whole time in the room. I love my kids, I really do, but getting even a few hours of sleep off and on that first night or two is just absolutely critical to sustaining sanity and the "kid stays in the room" almost drove us nuts. We powered through but goddamn.
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Sep 4, 2019 15:18
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femcastra posted:Wheeee we just finished a few weeks of this. Around now is pretty normal for a sleep regression and oh my god this one was a killer. Yeah, but I didn’t handle it well early this morning. It was hard and I finally just set him in his crib and left the room and he screamed bloody murder for a half hour before succumbing to sleep. Usually if he wakes up when being lowered to the crib he will either roll over or go on his hands and knees at which point I put my hand on his back and rub it until he’s in dreamland. Early this morning right before I made that post, tried twice and he was hysterical until I picked him up to repeat the process. I want to comfort him when he needs and we still rock him to sleep routinely, but Dada gotta get sleep too, especially since I’ve got him by myself two days a week to hell save in daycare which is exhausting by itself, and when I also wake up on weeknights with him so my wife can sleep. We JUST got out of a sleep regression. Another one already? He slept fine this weekend other than waking up early and crying, now this. Renegret posted:getting poo poo from the hospital staff for wanting to send the baby to the nursery so we could sleep. Our hospital did this too. Not overtly, but the nurse we asked gave a very disapproving look and was pretty reluctant to do it, even asking us, “Are you sure?” Of loving course we’re sure, lady. What brand-new parent who asks for that isn’t sure they need sleep? On top of that they only would keep newborns in the nursery for as long as they stayed asleep, bringing them back to feed (which I get, baby has to eat), so the next night we basically got a half hour of sleep with him in the nursery before he apparently got the hungries and they brought him back and then didn’t want to take him back there. I could’ve done without them making us feel bad for wanting the last few hours of unbroken sleep we’d get for a while. I vaguely remember going to a lactation support store located in the hospital the same day we took him home, to get my wife some lanolin and nipple covers because they were starting to crack and it hurt her terribly, and then straight to Target to get something I don’t even remember what it was. I was such a zombie I barely remember even being in Target, I wandered around in a haze for like 30 minutes looking for the baby aisle and it was right in front of me the whole time.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:30
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I had my baby at a baby friendly hospital. My labor was over forty hours long and I was so exhausted I could hardly walk, but I couldn’t get to sleep at all. On the second night the nurse had to convince me to let her take her to the nursery so I could sleep. I got 45 minutes of sleep the entire four days I was in the hospital, but it was thanks to that nurse who took my baby. The inconsistency among nurses and the advice you get really comes down to the nurses experience and their comfort level in going against hospital policy. Hospital policies are baby stays in the room at all times, back is best, breastfeeding should be encouraged, etc. if you’ve got a newer nurse who doesn’t have any kids of their own, they are going to stick straight to the policy. If you’ve got a battle axe nurse who raised four kids, they will be the ones to tell you it’s ok for a baby to sleep on their side, or offer to take them to the nursery. Hospitals are crazy at monitoring how policies are followed, and if a nurse tends to not follow the policy they can be disciplined. With all the conflicting info out there about babies, the answers you get from nurses depends entirely on how afraid they are of deviating from the policies.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:36
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Geisladisk posted:My 2 y/o daughter absolutely loving loves the garbage truck. They come to our apartment building at 7am on Wednesdays. This morning she heard the truck pull up, and bolts upright, yelling, "The garbage truck! So exciting! Go see garbage truck!". Thanks for this. It made me smile.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:40
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Sarah posted:I see your point but no one made her choose that hospital. She had her choice of any of maybe 10 hospitals in the metro area. She gave permission for the LC to enter the room to ask then felt harassed. I'm sorry but most people don't have a choice of hospitals on their insurance. And heaven forbid people have a change of heart on their feeding choices after birth. Additionally, I didn't have control over what providers stopped by my room, I never was able to give permission or not? I'm not sure why you are choosing to be so flippant about another woman's experience and struggle just because you didn't experience the same thing. Additionally, "baby friendly" hospitals do not have formula in the drawer, as you say. In order to get formula in the hospital I delivered at, unless you after medically required to supplement with formula, you have to sign a form stating you were informed that formula is inferior nutrition and that you were making this choice against medical advice. I didn't sign the form but I sure cried about it a lot. marchantia fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Sep 4, 2019 |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:03
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marchantia posted:you have to sign a form stating you were informed that formula is inferior nutrition and that you were making this choice against medical advice. holy poo poo
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Sep 4, 2019 17:25
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All this is ridiculous considering almost the entirety of breastfeeding’s benefits are impossible to untangle from socioeconomic factors in the existing studies. Not nearly enough of a clear benefit to give women this much drat grief over. But hey, let’s just keep policing choices rather than providing support and instruction for whichever choice is made .
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Sep 4, 2019 17:32
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