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*exasperated architect on the phone* "Yes yes, I know you want to "build a house on that rear end", but have you considered that the gluteous maximus makes for a very poor foundation?"
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Aug 30, 2019 21:44
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hmmm yes okay so her thighs are strong and could likely support the extra weight, but we have to be careful with materials cause we do not want her to just fall over, right?
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Aug 30, 2019 21:45
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"LOUD NOISE BEST ASMR CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS SIREN HEADPHONES YES COMPILATION PLAYLIST" |
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Aug 30, 2019 22:30
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canyoneer posted:"LOUD NOISE BEST ASMR CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS SIREN HEADPHONES YES COMPILATION PLAYLIST" That'd be such a swell ringtone
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Aug 30, 2019 22:36
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Veget-aryans They only eat turnips, cauliflower, parsnips, and white asparagus E: and potatoes and the white parts of leeks too obviously Kaiser Schnitzel fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Aug 31, 2019
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Aug 31, 2019 02:15
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:Veget-aryans mixed feelings about white rice |
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Aug 31, 2019 02:56
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Dating site for chubby musical fans called The Heaviside Layer |
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Aug 31, 2019 06:34
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Tantric high-fiving. |
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Aug 31, 2019 07:33
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Tantric high-fiving. chads hand is sweating and he no longer will look me in the eye, i thought we were bros but i'm starting to question his commitment to achieving ultimate seshing. if he slips we will have to kill him for knowing the coordinates of the man cave (my basement). he does not understand the gravity of the situation tho his shaking elbow does
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Aug 31, 2019 12:35
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:Veget-aryans A person who is racist about food, but not about people or cultures. I think the idea of someone who is married to a Chinese immigrant and loves the culture and language and is respectful and not fetishistic, but who thinks rice is so loving gross is very funny to me.
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Aug 31, 2019 18:32
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:penn & teller: penn is actually mute, you're really hearing teller's voice because he's also a ventriloquist.
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Sep 1, 2019 14:51
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"Pen & Teller," and it's just a 30 minute show about my most recent trip to the bank.
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Sep 1, 2019 15:02
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bee eater posted:"Pen & Teller," and it's just a 30 minute show about my most recent trip to the bank. then you ask for the take home dvd but it is tied to the counter with one of those little chains
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Sep 1, 2019 16:00
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Twenty Four posted:then you ask for the take home dvd but it is tied to the counter with one of those little chains Putting chains on things in your own house, so when someone uses the bathroom and tries to wash their hands with my decorative soap they can't get it out of the dish. A chain that keeps the television remote control unit right at the arm of the couch. A chain that binds the pain in my heart.
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Sep 1, 2019 16:03
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Heather Papps posted:A chain that keeps the television remote control unit right at the arm of the couch. genius
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Sep 1, 2019 16:29
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| Redemption for Jar Jar Binks. | |
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Sep 1, 2019 17:07
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Putty posted:Redemption for Jar Jar Binks. Impossible
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Sep 1, 2019 18:28
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Putty posted:Redemption for Jar Jar Binks. |
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Sep 1, 2019 23:55
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FactsAreUseless posted:Dating site for chubby musical fans called The Heaviside Layer 
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Sep 2, 2019 01:05
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Putty posted:Redemption for Jar Jar Binks. james joyce's ulysses except it's a single day in the life of jar jar binks
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Sep 2, 2019 02:37
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The Men in Black, in the early days before they acquire neuralyzer technology, are forced to resort to "big brother" tactics to keep things under wraps. "Look it's ok, it's ok, you're fine. I stopped the alien from eating you, ok? Please don't tell the police or the press. I'll let you have all my desserts for a month." |
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Sep 3, 2019 03:11
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Please look directly at this light It's a laser sight A crack echoes thru the field Okay alien gently caress off we are full.
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Sep 3, 2019 04:27
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Heather Papps posted:Please look directly at this light a new wave trance/edm song would fit well with this haiku |
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Sep 3, 2019 04:52
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title: i don't need the drama concept: i could not [verb] between [thing1] & [thing 2] so i just used [thing 3] on [my genitals]
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Sep 4, 2019 01:39
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it's a bunch of people queued up to get knocked out and its a punchline |
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Sep 4, 2019 01:42
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Brobdingnagian alien: (repeatedly slamming a Saturn V rocket into the ground) Stop invading yourself! Why are you invading yourself? |
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Sep 4, 2019 01:53
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google THIS posted:Brobdingnagian alien: (repeatedly slamming a Saturn V rocket into the ground) Stop invading yourself! Why are you invading yourself? i hate assimilation why are u so weak
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Sep 4, 2019 01:58
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Heather Papps posted:A chain that keeps the television remote control unit right at the arm of the couch. I'm rigging this up as we speak |
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Sep 4, 2019 04:47
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It's important not to use the chain for the remote for sex stuff. Cause what if your partner wants the tv on during sex and whoops! You can't find the tv remote because you took it off the chain. |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:10
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i got recruited to join the class action lawsuit against Amway, but i need to find five other people to join underneath me |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:22
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But I've got no class! |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:27
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canyoneer posted:i got recruited to join the class action lawsuit against Amway, but i need to find five other people to join underneath me hehe |
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Sep 4, 2019 19:27
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it’s a guy picking up hitchhhikers and he’s like “gotta pay with rear end, grass, or gas” and he wants spankings, lawn trimmings or farts |
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Sep 4, 2019 20:12
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[static tv transition to a clip of old-school family feud, audio redubbed] richard dawson: "third strike! walters family, you can take the lead on this..." [sfx: "time's up" buzzer as he continues] rd: "...We asked 100 baby boomers, 'If a millennial was transported to the 1970s, name something that would shock them.'" family member: "richard, we're gonna say blatant racism." rd: "if it's there, you got the eighty-nine dollars and a big lead. show me.... blatant RACISM!" [cut to a screenshot from the comments of a local station's facebook page while a long version of [sfx: strike buzzer] plays in the background] ---------------- |
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Sep 4, 2019 21:37
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I'm no bariatric surgeon specializing in gastric bypass but |
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Sep 6, 2019 18:58
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[CAPTION: GENERIC 70s SITCOM, GAME SHOW EPISODE] host: (reading from card in hand) "for a hundred and fifty dollars, here is your riddle: 'i am the rear speaker in your car that you cannot turn off. what am i?'" [CUT TO] me: (thinking) "...a mother in law?" [CUT BACK TO] host: host: (puts up both finger-guns) "EEEEY" [ABRUPT CUT BACK TO ME] me: (returning finger-guns with equal gusto) "EEEEEEEY" [SHORT MONTAGE AS VIEW CHANGES RANDOMLY AND ABRUPTLY AS BOTH CONTINUE, BEFORE ABRUPT CUT BACK TO HOST] host: "--incorrect." Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 04:54 on Sep 8, 2019 ---------------- |
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Sep 8, 2019 04:47
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:[CAPTION: GENERIC 70s SITCOM, GAME SHOW EPISODE] Hey! Remember that time we went all over the city looking for a place to repair that broken speaker in the back of your car before you had to pick up your mother in law from the airport and we couldn't find even one? *Looks to the side and starts nodding silently for several minutes.* *Everyone just stands there not reacting for several minutes* |
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Sep 8, 2019 05:00
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Hey! Remember that time we went all over the city looking for a place to repair that broken speaker in the back of your car before you had to pick up your mother in law from the airport and we couldn't find even one? so you're saying family guy did that bit already? 
Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Sep 8, 2019 ---------------- |
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Sep 8, 2019 05:07
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:so you're saying family guy did that bit already? Oh no. I just was talking about classic flashback episodes where the characters get stuck in an elevator or something...drat |
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Sep 8, 2019 05:16
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Oh no. I just was talking about classic flashback episodes where the characters get stuck in an elevator or something...drat oh, no, i wasn't trying to be cruel-- text-only banter really misses something. let me edit that and try again. ---------------- |
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Sep 8, 2019 05:26
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