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Taintrunner posted:I hope Star Citizen goes on forever and never comes out I hope my "Archeresque" blending of literature and CI!G drama isn't too long and bothersome. Part II - The Artists Lewis Pirenne was busily engaged at his desk in a darkened corner of his room. There remained so much code to write and threads to sync, in addition to all of the celebrations to prepare. Fifty years now! Fifty years since the original Kickstarter. According to the current schedule, only five more years would see the publication of Squadron 42, volume 1, chapter 1. Then in ten year intervals, the succeeding chapters would follow. Pirenne turned in annoyance when his door buzzer sounded. He had forgotten the appointment. Salvor Hardin entered the room and promptly sat at the desk, opposite of Pirenne. “I hope you’re not here to bother me asking for more budget money to be spent on artists, modelers and animators, Hardin” Pirenne snapped at the executive in charge of those departments. “Lewis, I like you, but since being put in charge of the whole project, you’re focusing only on those areas you know about, and not giving enough attention to other departments that are at least equally important – maybe even more so…” Hardin replied. “We’re in the home stretch now, we’ve only got just a few more blockers to overcome, and then we will finally get the production tools finished. From there, we just need to layer in the levels and it’s practically complete. We don’t need any more art assets – we need to finish everything else.” “Those same blockers have been there since 3.0” Hardin replied, his voice losing the cheerfulness it started with, “why do you think that all of a sudden they will finally be overcome.” Pirenne answered “Tomorrow is the fiftieth anniversary of the original Kickstarter. One of my senior programmers was able to hack into the code for the vault Robert’s had built shortly before his passing. He found that the tomorrow’s date in the list of constants set as vault opening dates. Tomorrow the vault will open and we’ll hear the final instructions from the master programmer himself. His words will give us the guidance we need to finish.” “That sounds about as stupid as the things the backers say about Roberts – you do hear what they say about him, don’t you?” Hardin questioned, the cheerfulness returning to his voice and face. Pirenne shook his head and answered “No.” “For Chris Roberts so loved Star Citizen, he started two programming foundations on opposite sides of the Earth so that programming of the game would never stop until finished.” Hardin was nearly laughing as he finished the sentence. Pirenne’s eyes squinted and he looked confused. “Don’t bother thinking too hard Pirenne, you and I know that London and L.A. are just barely over ninety degrees apart from each other, but to the backers it means one degree about the Earth is the equivalent to two degrees in Star Citizen’s development. One more thing,” Hardin’s face once again looked serious “you better have the first roadmap in this game’s history to have accurate timelines. If you’ve read the accounting report, you know that the funding drop off rate and the project expenses are going to end this project if it’s wrong. The project is so old that the youngest of the original whales are dying of old age. We’re facing a crisis!” Two weeks later… The doors to the vault finally opened. For two weeks, every lead, manager, and executive met at them at the start of the day, expecting them to open. When they finally did, they slammed open so quickly, they killed one of the lead programmers. Hardin thought to himself “Late, with doors that kill – anybody who knew the history of this project should have known. If there’s a ramp inside the door, I’ll make sure I’m not the first down it.” Inside, there was a central platform, surrounded with seating. The survivors filed in and took seats. Not long after everyone was seated, the lights turned off and the room became pitch black. “Ummm… are we live? Is this on? Ehhh….” Short questions and phrases like these repeated for five minutes while the room stayed dark. “Jesus Christ! I read the true accounts of the project, so I expected some incompetence, but to this level…” Hardin continued in his internal dialogue. Suddenly, a hologram of Chris Roberts and a small stand next to him appeared on the platform. The holographic stand had a glass of water and a small vase with a single flower in it on its top. “Errrr, hello? I am Chris Roberts!” With that proclamation, the holographic Roberts flung his hands outward, hitting the holographic vase – but instead of falling to the ground, the vase shot upward faster that gravity could have pulled it down – and disappeared once outside the bounds of the hologram. Hardin’s inner dialogue now had him repeatedly smacking his forehead with his right hand. Then he noticed that the “hologram” cast a shadow on the floor of the vault. He felt absolute disgust at being associated with this level of ineptitude – but he knew what had to be inevitably coming – and the paycheck that would provide stopped him from immediately walking away from this perpetual garbage fire. “Ehhhh…, Ortwin ahh…, calculated out the date for our first vault message. He said that this date is the date where you all would think you would be within ten years of release err… whatever that is, ahhmm…, but also within ten years of bankruptcy. You know of me, and you know of my vision for the best drat space game ever! What you didn’t know is this… The Star Citizen project is a fraud, and it always has been!” Everyone in the vault gasped when Roberts finished that last sentence – except for Hardin, who smiled when everything he ever suspected was finally confirmed. The holographic Roberts continued “I don’t really care if Squadron 42 beta is even released. What I do know is this...ahhhmmm… You’re developing a game in an engine unsuitable for its scope, but capable of creating pretty pictures. Your development team consists of more artists and modelers than developers. You need funding to continue, and you’ve got whales ready to buy absolutely anything you can think up – as long as it is associated with Star Citizen. The solution to your problem should be obvious.” The hologram disappeared and the room lights turned back on. A crestfallen Lewis Pirenne approached Hardin and said “You were right. I’ll see to it that you’re put in charge of the overall project. What are you going to do now?” “Roberts said, the solution should be obvious – and it is, it’s obvious as all hell! First up will be the ‘Galactic Chuckwagon’ to keep troopers well fed with their procedural eggs. Then it will be garment factory space station, so the most fashionable citizens can keep up with the layers of jackets they will expect. Maybe make them sweatshops so backers can have some more fantasies about putting slaves to work.” Hardin then finished “We will develop a procedural engine to randomly put words together, and with those words, we’ll develop yet more concept ships. The concept ships keep the current whales spending and also bring in new ones. That should keep CI!G going long enough so that not I, my children, nor my grandchildren need to worry about doing anything other than dreaming up new spaceships, yet still lead a comfortable life.”
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Sep 4, 2019 04:43
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| # ? May 21, 2024 23:51 |
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I need a crob-bear probation to remember the thread by.
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Sep 4, 2019 04:47
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Star Unreal Cry Lumber Engine Yard. Do we win a prize if we guess the new engine name? 
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Sep 4, 2019 04:58
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Exinos posted:I need a crob-bear probation to remember the thread by. Sorry, friend. They're over for now.
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Sep 4, 2019 05:15
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Tokamak posted:I've suspected for a while that they're working on a new/different engine in secret, and will announce it once they have most of the old features working on it. But that's purely a hunch based on how many people they have working there, and how slowly engine features are being dripped out. Though the more likely reality is that Chris and CIG are just incompetent. That would explain why they've been so bad at squashing current bugs, no need to if you know you're jumping ship. Incompetence would also explain it.... Yeah I think it's incompetence.
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Sep 4, 2019 05:29
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All I ever wanted from the BDSSE was to post on page 6666 of a dead gay comedy forum, …… Did I want to much?
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Sep 4, 2019 05:29
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'A Parp Deferred is a Parp Denied!' - Kosola Kosumoms
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Sep 4, 2019 05:31
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Kosumo posted:All I ever wanted from the BDSSE was to post on page 6666 of a dead gay comedy forum, …… Did I want to much? Have you ever heard of
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Sep 4, 2019 05:32
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the eonwe method?
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Sep 4, 2019 05:32
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It should solve your 6666 problem straight away
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Sep 4, 2019 05:33
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Sep 4, 2019 05:33
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Staggeringly Bad Development
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Sep 4, 2019 06:17
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Megalobster posted:1. Switch engine. A couple years ago I ripped the freelancer from some thing on their site and threw it into blender then unity I think. There were no skins, the meshes seemed to be a bit hosed and it was a billion polygons so made my 16GB ram at the time scream. That said, sure. Tidy up the models and you can throw it in anything. Just make sure to have all your child objects in a parent object or you will have to invent object container streaming because all of your child objects will have mass and forces and randomly smash into things and explode. Oh wait.
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Sep 4, 2019 07:36
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While drinking ridiculous amounts of beer and reviewing ancient Hebrew scripture I think I may have uncovered the actual CIG internal roadmapAncient Scriptures posted:Ortwin told Sandi that he had had a dream that none could interpret and had heard that Sandi could interpret dreams, but Sandi said that CRoberts would give Ortwin an answer. Ortwin told Sandi his dreams, and Sandi told him that the two dreams were one, a prediction of what CRoberts was about to do. The seven good Citizen-Cons and the seven good Concept Sales symbolized seven years of plenty, and the seven lean Citizen-Cons and the seven complaints from Cry-Tek symbolized seven years of famine that would consume thereafter. The dream was doubled because Croberts had established the thing and would shortly bring it to pass. Sandi recommended that Ortwin set over Twitch (sponsored by REDBULL) a man discreet and wise, that he appoint overseers to take up a fifth of the Pledges during the years of plenty, and that he off-shore those Pledges for the years of famine. Ortwin agreed, asking whether anyone could find a person such as Sandi in whom the spirit of CRoberts was greater. I think faith and corruption may be key to CIG operations. Maybe im just drunk.
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Sep 4, 2019 07:38
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Since the thread ain’t long for this world, one of the classic Sandi’s will do...  What a golden time that was, friends... we were spoiled to laugh so fiercely and so often... 
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Sep 4, 2019 08:27
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Jobbo_Fett posted:https://www.newsweek.com/star-citizen-director-chris-roberts-reveal-how-fix-anthem-1401588 lmao 100,000 people playing star citizen who are angry they can't log in? Get real chris
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Sep 4, 2019 08:27
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Megalobster posted:No but seriously, let's entertain the idea. I'm illiterate when it comes to developing a game: could a good part of the 3D assets at least be salvaged and moved to a new engine? What they have now is worth less than nothing. If a competent developer were in charge right now, he'd start from scratch. THE COMBAT AND FLIGHT MODELS AREN'T EVEN DESIGNED. So no, I don't think the 3D assets can be salvaged. Other than like, maybe background set dressing. Trying to make these models work for an actual space game is more effort than starting from scratch.
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Sep 4, 2019 08:29
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Zaphod42 posted:What they have now is worth less than nothing. Well they did design them They just didnt spend any time figuring out how to work travel drive into them. Too bad they had no experience with earlier titles examining the problem like Freelancer.
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Sep 4, 2019 08:41
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biglads posted:Where's Santaball on the roadmap?
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Sep 4, 2019 08:49
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PSA:  VERY IMPORTANT 
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Sep 4, 2019 08:58
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How to make cargo stay in your ship in Elite: Dangerous: click the plus button, then the buy button.
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Sep 4, 2019 09:48
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Daztek posted:PSA: Amazing. Someone found a way to make a box NOT clip through a ship! Time for the opening of a bottle of champage at CIG methinks!
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Sep 4, 2019 09:50
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tuo posted:How to make cargo stay in your ship in Elite: Dangerous: click the plus button, then the buy button. FIDELITY!
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Sep 4, 2019 09:50
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Megalobster posted:1. Switch engine. Yes and No, the models can be placed into other game engines verbatim, the way people interact with it, no that's where CI-noG is going to be starting from scratch. BUT since they hasn't achieved poo poo in 9 loving years in terms of gameplay, they won't take long to be where they are now with a complete change of engine anyway
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Sep 4, 2019 10:05
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stingtwo posted:Yes and No, the models can be placed into other game engines verbatim, the way people interact with it, no that's where CI-noG is going to be starting from scratch. BUT since they hasn't achieved poo poo in 9 loving years in terms of gameplay, they won't take long to be where they are now with a complete change of engine anyway Kazan could do it
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Sep 4, 2019 10:21
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Agony Aunt posted:Amazing. Someone found a way to make a box NOT clip through a ship! I think he is a developer at CI. He used the word should.
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Sep 4, 2019 10:45
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I'll give CInotG extra appreciation points if they manage(d) to convince Epic to implement a concept demo for Store Citizer on UE. You can't really blame the parasite in this type of situation because this is how they've operated since day one. So, Epic / Sweeney you should know better. And points to Amazon if they release their correspondence with Crobbler after the switch. So many things to look forward!
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Sep 4, 2019 11:13
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Aw man, I slept through my probear. But then that seems fitting, somehow.
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Sep 4, 2019 11:15
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TheAgent posted:I mean, not to toot to hard on my own horn, but I could have this entire mess out within less than 24 months, even with a severe engine change Well my YouTube level arm chair lawyering, this is what I think crytek will demand unless they settle, that would get around all those clauses about damages. It will be a comedy watching Chris trying to put a good spin on moving to unreal ...wavey hands the pipelines will stagger across, and the data pump from the AWS sever will unpack and redigitilize the game algos and then game will pretty much click together !
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Sep 4, 2019 12:14
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Looking for a friend to download like 300 GB game package so they can drop in and out of my 6 movie long cenimatic epic coop game.... Please it is 6 hours of mocap you don't want to miss... Why am I lonely ? Maybe I should have pledge more
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Sep 4, 2019 12:17
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Buy me a ship and I will play with you.
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Sep 4, 2019 12:27
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oh I'm am just crushed to see that new conservative road map, the pinicale of project transparency needs a staggering rework... On the bright side I have an extra 3 months to find a friend (space pleb) for this co-op master works!! I am just glad this is the last delay and finally lock in a date for real this time!!
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Sep 4, 2019 12:29
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If CIG do go to UE4, they would in sheer idiocy get sued by Epic for non payment of using the game engine, claiming "oh ship purchases don't count for the 5% epic wants for everything game related".
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Sep 4, 2019 12:42
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Textures and models is all well and good, but I wonder if all the ground-breaking never-before-seen technical achievements CI not G invented translates well from CE to UE4
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Sep 4, 2019 12:44
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Agony Aunt posted:FIDELITY! You can click that button anyway you want 
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Sep 4, 2019 13:44
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Mangoose posted:Textures and models is all well and good, but I wonder if all the ground-breaking never-before-seen technical achievements CI not G invented translates well from CE to UE4 Maybe they could switch back to a POI model and dump all the not-proc-gen planets and other stuff. All their current "locations" are just POIs anyway. I still find it hard to believe they are going to switch to unity or UE4 or whatever.
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Sep 4, 2019 14:11
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Jobbo_Fett posted:Buy me a ship and I will play with you. Buy me a play and i will ship with you.
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Sep 4, 2019 14:38
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Is it over?
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Sep 4, 2019 15:18
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spacetoaster posted:Is it over? Wasn't that the one where someone on reddit said CIG should sue you for libel?
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Sep 4, 2019 15:27
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C-Bangin' it 
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spacetoaster posted:Is it over? The funny part is that I'll bet Chris has this saved in a folder somewhere to copy when the end really does come.
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Sep 4, 2019 15:33
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