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WrenP-Complete posted:Oh my God, I'm so frustrated about my life. whats up
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Sep 7, 2019 05:52
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Lain Iwakura posted:swimming owns it does WrenP-Complete posted:Oh my God, I'm so frustrated about my life. 
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Sep 7, 2019 06:32
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guess who came out as NB to their spouse and who is now even more sure they married the best person in existence for them. holy poo poo I actually did it
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Sep 7, 2019 20:51
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Sep 7, 2019 20:53
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Sep 7, 2019 21:02
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grats
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Sep 7, 2019 21:06
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hell yeah
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Sep 7, 2019 21:27
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Sep 8, 2019 02:37
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Sep 8, 2019 02:49
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thanks everyone! I have to say I was not prepared for the emotional aftershocks. this is such a strange feeling, like I feel emotionally exposed to my wife in ways I didn't know were possible but also feel that it is completely ok. definitely have never felt closer and we were already incredibly tight. we're going to get a pedi together soon.  I'm lucky as poo poo y'all. for those wondering: they/them preferred, but it is very rare that things flow fem to the point where a masculine pronoun would be troubling and I almost always avoid the internet at such times.
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Sep 8, 2019 03:35
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Shifty Pony posted:thanks everyone! it is magical for your relationship when you can be fully open with all your feelings. congrats fellow person!
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Sep 8, 2019 03:44
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also it is only trans related because it has been an outlet i work on while I think about things (and I've been doing a lot of thinking) but... I'm really proud of my fox 
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Sep 8, 2019 03:58
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what a beautiful fox
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Sep 8, 2019 04:11
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yeah that's super good :o
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Sep 8, 2019 04:51
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gay rear end magic fox :3
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Sep 8, 2019 04:57
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Shifty Pony posted:also it is only trans related because it has been an outlet i work on while I think about things (and I've been doing a lot of thinking) but... sup trans fox buddy 
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Sep 8, 2019 06:42
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Shifty Pony posted:also it is only trans related because it has been an outlet i work on while I think about things (and I've been doing a lot of thinking) but... Wow that is an amazing fox!
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Sep 8, 2019 08:08
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Shifty Pony posted:guess who came out as NB to their spouse That's wonderful (and lovely foxes, too)! Lain Iwakura posted:swimming owns I'd really like to enjoy swimming, but the self-conscious brain-worms are too crippling. 
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Sep 8, 2019 09:48
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Shifty Pony posted:also it is only trans related because it has been an outlet i work on while I think about things (and I've been doing a lot of thinking) but... A good foxxe. Is that needlepoint or...?
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Sep 8, 2019 17:52
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Hipster_Doofus posted:A good foxxe. cross stitch the shop I got the pattern from is fun because it is essentially a collaboration between a lot of Russian pattern designers and the patterns have a very distinctly different feel than US and UK patterns.
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Sep 8, 2019 19:18
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It's a very good fox!
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Sep 8, 2019 19:29
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Shifty Pony posted:also it is only trans related because it has been an outlet i work on while I think about things (and I've been doing a lot of thinking) but... Pretty!
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Sep 8, 2019 19:32
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that's a fuckin good fox, god drat
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Sep 8, 2019 21:14
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Shifty Pony posted:cross stitch That was my second guess. E: oh and yeah all those patterns look extraordinary. E2: nvm I'm an idiot it's plainly not
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Sep 8, 2019 21:35
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Have been at pride yesterday in Katowice, was fun some guy yelled at us "Auschwitz is waiting for you!", some other said "go to church" and my cousin made fun of that as she does go every Sunday, first time we went for event like this and we liked it. It made me a bit sad though, I can't be out due to living with lovely parents, awful job so I can't afford to rent own place and to start therapy.
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Sep 8, 2019 22:21
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Poland is really getting worse and it makes me sad.
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Sep 8, 2019 22:23
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everyone is way too kind about the fox  Lain that is gorgeous. how long have you had it? the detail in the lines and color in the fur is remarkable. Hipster_Doofus posted:That was my second guess. the backs are actually pretty neat because nobody does theirs the same way. here's what mine looks like compared to the front:  you can see how I chain together spots of certain colors with the green, but don't jump very far when doing so. others don't do that at all and others still will bounce all over the place. I really really like embroidery because it lets me think while needing enough of my attention to not let me think too hard and spiral into an unhappy place. no matter what you like you can find patterns for it and the younger part of the community is very progressive. spankmeister posted:Poland is really getting worse and it makes me sad. from the outside it seems just so shocking.
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Sep 8, 2019 23:10
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love the fox
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Sep 8, 2019 23:20
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RustyKnight posted:Have been at pride yesterday in Katowice, was fun some guy yelled at us "Auschwitz is waiting for you!", some other said "go to church" and my cousin made fun of that as she does go every Sunday, first time we went for event like this and we liked it. It made me a bit sad though, I can't be out due to living with lovely parents, awful job so I can't afford to rent own place and to start therapy. wait you're not out at home and have lovely parents but you went to pride and with family members no less? that's super fuckin' brave, geez, good for you 
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Sep 9, 2019 00:17
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also poles of all people telling someone to go to auschwitz is pretty, uhh... hm... like some combination of  and  and maybe  i guess
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Sep 9, 2019 00:19
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the dithering on that fox is so amazing Shifty Pony, i love it! my partner still seems to be spiraling re my transition. He was fine when I came out, wrote me a card and gave me chocolates on my first visit to get set up with HRT, and ever since the physical changes started showing even a little bit he's just been...freaked out. Sometimes he's okay and will even joke about it with me but being reminded how real it is sends him spiraling. Tonight he was fine until I had to shut up for a bit to wait for a tablet to dissolve and during that silence he just lost it. It's not falling into fights, he just looks lost and hurt and...sad. He's struggling. He wants to understand. He's deeply unhappy with himself for not accepting this like he says he should. I keep just getting "I'm sorry" from him every time he feels this way. I'm sure he's scared to actually talk about how he's feeling out of fear I'll give up on my transition just to keep him around; he's tried to make me promise that I'm not going to stop no matter what happens. Obviously I can't make that promise since I don't know at all what's going to influence me in the future, but I can at least promise to him that I will try not to let his discomfort here change my mind. I think he's also not allowing himself the space he needs to mourn the loss of his boyfriend, again out of fear of the same thing. He's a strongly GNC cis man and often presents more feminine than I do. I wasn't really expecting this strong of a reaction but  . I think he was just hoping I'd age into a salt-and-pepper daddy for him and uh, no.Also finding support groups for AMAB-AMAB couples where one ends up transitioning seems impossible! It seems like they're all focused around previously cishet couples with one or the other transitioning, not being queer to start with. He's also realized that he's depressed and hasn't done anything to pull himself out of that. I don't know how to tell him "you need a therapist" that doesn't come across as being nagging, but both myself and our couples therapist keep bringing it up. He has some history of self-harm so...I'm honestly just terrified. We've been together for 11 years (through our 20s into our 30s) and always sort of grew at the same rate, and now it feels like I'm running away ahead. Our relationship is also strained in that we've been open and kinda sorta poly for the past few years, but I've never had the confidence to act on it and just let him have fun on his own. We've always had mismatched sex drives, and I've always been fine with it. Outside of being out of town and shared partners I've never really acted on it, and the one time I did he freaked the hell out. I'm starting to actually get some confidence for once in my life and it's clear that his insecurities about me actually taking advantage of how we've worked this out (at least on paper) is going to be problematic. I don't even know what I'm asking for here. I'm just kind of venting at this point. I'm lost and frustrated and I love him and I'm running out of things to do to try to fix this.
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Sep 9, 2019 05:04
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Shame Boy posted:wait you're not out at home and have lovely parents but you went to pride and with family members no less? that's super fuckin' brave, geez, good for you just realised what I did, needed somebody to rephrase it to me because I’m just so detached that sometimes I don’t realise what am I doing anymore lmao
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Sep 9, 2019 06:40
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minivanmegafun posted:I don't know how to tell him "you need a therapist" that doesn't come across as being nagging, but both myself and our couples therapist keep bringing it up. He has some history of self-harm so...I'm honestly just terrified. sit down and talk about it and make it as like, painless as possible to just accept the idea of going to a therapist, like offer to find one and set up an appointment for him if he wants. the biggest step i've found with people (including myself) is just getting the first appointment set up at all, like that first action is what really hangs people up, and once that's over with therapy just sort of becomes something that happens once a week or w/e rather than something you have to actively choose to do so mentally it gets way easier.
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Sep 9, 2019 07:20
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RustyKnight posted:just realised what I did, needed somebody to rephrase it to me because I’m just so detached that sometimes I don’t realise what am I doing anymore lmao oh hope you'll be okay at home in that case friend
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Sep 9, 2019 07:22
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Shame Boy posted:oh as long as I act as my mothers straight son and she is not “embarrassed” of me in front of her friends (this means as long as nobody asks her If I’m gay, because I’m single lol) I’m fine, but I often feel like I am not even a person anymore just a passive observer. Thanks for responding to my shitposts, don’t know why but I feel a bit better 
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Sep 9, 2019 08:51
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this just in got a call from a job i was counting on to get my life together, I’m accepted since 1st of October 
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Sep 9, 2019 09:05
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RustyKnight posted:as long as I act as my mothers straight son and she is not “embarrassed” of me in front of her friends (this means as long as nobody asks her If I’m gay, because I’m single lol) I’m fine, but I often feel like I am not even a person anymore just a passive observer. Thanks for responding to my shitposts, don’t know why but I feel a bit better glad i could, uh, help i still think what you did was real cool even if it was completely passive, hope stuff all works out~ RustyKnight posted:this just in got a call from a job i was counting on to get my life together, I’m accepted since 1st of October congrats
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Sep 9, 2019 14:08
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also def see about talking to a therapist if you're not already, that "passive observer" stuff super duper sounds like symptoms of certain kinds of depression. i know i definitely used to feel like that when my depression was real bad, and it was explained to me as some mix of derealization and depersonalization. basically Wikipedia posted:People experiencing derealization describe feeling as if they are viewing the world through a TV screen. perfectly described how it felt to me, and kinda sounds something like what you're describing, so yeahhh. e: sorry if you're already like, dealing with this or aware of it or something and i'm just armchair psychologisting your own life back to you, i just know when i first had it i didn't even know it was a thing and a hell of a lot of stuff clicked into place when my psychologist explained it to me... Shame Boy fucked around with this message at 14:26 on Sep 9, 2019 |
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Sep 9, 2019 14:20
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Shame Boy posted:also def see about talking to a therapist if you're not already, that "passive observer" stuff super duper sounds like symptoms of certain kinds of depression. i know i definitely used to feel like that when my depression was real bad, and it was explained to me as some mix of derealization and depersonalization. Already planning that, mental help here is not that great, especially the one you can get with healthcare, probably will join support group for trans folk that meets at the city where my job will be
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Sep 9, 2019 14:47
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RustyKnight posted:Already planning that, mental help here is not that great, especially the one you can get with healthcare, probably will join support group for trans folk that meets at the city where my job will be ah cool, best of luck friend 
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Sep 9, 2019 16:05
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