chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for throwing away my daughters vibrator

Sagebrush posted:

NTA. If your kids don't put their toys away after being repeatedly told to do so, sometimes you just got to throw them out to teach them a lesson.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

on the plus side for cat lady, her fur babies will probably live out their natural lifespans before being drafted into a ground war for control of one of the few remaining unspoiled aquifers so that’s something

dudeness posted:

You're supposed to donate them to Goodwill.

quote:

I changed some details but the gist should pretty much stay the same.

I work as a software developer for a smaller company which produces and sells fitness related products, such as fitness trackers. Also I lift weights in my free time and have competed in a natural body building show before so at least bodywise I don't look too bad.

Ever since I've started working there they've asked me to be one of the people to go to the fitness expos where we try to promote our products. Their reasoning is that I know and can explain our products well to potential customers. And I guess it draws more people in when I'd do that instead of one of my co-workers who might not be in as good shape.

So I get the reasoning and at the beginning I enjoyed it but now not so much anymore. The first time they asked me to do it shirtless but that made me uncomfortable so I could at least get to wear a tanktop. I don't get paid more for doing it either, I mean it is on work hours but still. My co-workers are mostly a bit jealous and make snark remarks along the lines how I get to meet lots of cute, young women again. It also takes up a lot of time, with the travelling and such, that I would rather spend at home with my girlfriend. And my girlfriend seems a bit jealous too because of the pictures my employer posts on their facebook from the expos with me and other people. And she's also not happy with me often being away because of it. Lastly I feel like it is false advertising because I don't even train and exercise like the people our products are geared towards.

I brought up some of these points with my boss but he says I should be happy that I basically get to vacation every once in a while and that a representative function is even included in the contract.

I still feel like it negatively impacts me overall though and would at least like a raise to be compensated for it. AITA?

Dienes posted:

All you need to do is include some basic acknowledgement of her feelings. This is not actually difficult to do.


I find this goes both ways when you suggest you don't want to hear the 10th story about changing diapers and cleaning baby puke. Why do people want to discuss the bodily functions of their dependents in the workplace, furry or not?

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for being upset that my employer basically pimps me out for my body?

snoo posted:

for the love of god please do not donate vibrators to goodwill

quote:

Throw away and beyond, going to keep some details vague. I am a person in my teens, have some birth defects and was adopted at a very young age.

Last week it was broken to me that my birth parents are actually my adoptive parent's distant cousins. They gave me away for adoption and are now married and has a son, my biological brother who had no idea that I existed. I have actually met the family twice during big family gatherings at my grandfather's house and had no idea who they were. I guess it was kept a secret too because nobody among the relatives talked about it.

Just out of curiosity I looked up their contact details and messaged my birth mother. I love my adoptive parents, but I want to get to know my biological family a little more, especially my brother, he is 11 years old now, not that far from me.

She asked me to not message or try to contact her family before blocking me. I tried messaging my birth father, and he took very long to reply me. He was more patient and explained to me that he wants me to put my focus on my adoptive parents and we are all better off without each others. When I asked to talk with him face to face, he blocked me too.

This just makes me so angry. They are not divorced or child free but they just gave me up for adoption? Is it because of my birth defects? I looked up into social media and saw that those 2 had quite some reputation as public servants.

I sent emails with my pictures attached to their workplace and on social media and announced that I am their kid, take a good look at me because this nice couple have gave me up. Who knows, maybe they will even get into the local news. I admit I did it without consideration, and it may affect their job and my brother's too, thought I feel like if they had at least tried to talk with me nicely about it I may not have done that. AITA?

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for being upset that my employer basically pimps me out for my body?

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for throwing away my daughters vibrator

quote:

I'm (36) and in my last year of law school. Throughout the process, my wife (33) has been super supportive, and a fantastic mother to our 2 year old. Now that I'm poised to graduate, she rightfully wants to pursue her career. She's determined to be a dermatologist. However, I voiced some concerns. Namely, the HUGE time commitment that med school will be. She seems to brush it off, much to my frustration. She has yet to start undergraduate school, so that's 4 years. From what I understand, med school will be an additional 4 years, and another 3-7 years of residency. Even under the most liberal estimation, that's another 11 years before she's an MD. Not to mention that during that time she will basically be MIA due to the demand of med school. Meanwhile, I will be taking the bar and starting an extremely demanding career where I will be the sole money maker and caretaker of our 2 year old.

I've never said she should NOT go, only that the time commitment is very real, and that she should consider alternatives such as Nurse Practitioner, OT school, etc. Yet, every time the conversation has come up she gets SUPER defensive. She's even said, "maybe we should just get a divorce and I can do what I want."

I want to be supportive, and honestly, if she already had undergrad under he belt (as I did before starting law school) I'd be more behind the idea.

So, AITA for telling my wife that she probably shouldn't go to med school?

EDIT: lots of YTA, and that's fine. I just want to clarify a few points: First, my law school was paid for through GI Bill. Second, the decision for me to go to school occurred prior to marriage and was discussed at length before the baby came along. Third, the desire to go to med school came out of the blue, it was roughly a month ago when she brought it up. She had worked in a hospital after high school as a PT assistant and always said that she didn't desire to get back into the medical field. I think the idea for med school came about after her friend got in (he's single, 10 years younger, and has scholarships). Finally, I NEVER suggested that she NOT go, only that I had concerns, but every time we start to talk about it she gets upset to the point that we can't have a calm discussion about the pros and cons.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Her daughter is dumb as hell to leave her vibrator sitting around like it's a toothbrush, but OP is an rear end in a top hat for throwing out an expensive sex toy. Those things can pricey as hell. Like $120+ for a high-end model easy. How hard is it to sit down and just, uh, talk to her as opposed to chucking it in the trash?

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Her daughter is dumb as hell to leave her vibrator sitting around like it's a toothbrush, but OP is an rear end in a top hat for throwing out an expensive sex toy. Those things can pricey as hell. Like $120+ for a high-end model easy. How hard is it to sit down and just, uh, talk to her as opposed to chucking it in the trash?

quote:

Summer just recently ended and my roommates and I all came back from break. One of them came up to me and asked if I noticed anything new about her. This is a pretty occasional thing that she does and I really tried looking her up and down to guess. I guessed braces and she said she had them taken off years ago and she still wanted me to guess more. I knew for sure it wasn’t her hair, eyebrows or the way she dressed. There really wasn’t anything till I noticed for the first time that her shoulders rest at different heights, so I guessed that she had scoliosis.

She can be a bit eccentric, and I realize now that I probably shouldn’t have guessed that but sometimes she’s pretty excited to show new injuries or things about herself you wouldn’t expect someone to be excited about.

Anyway, she said no and that she grew 0.21 inches. We’re all in our 20s, so I guess it is a bit surprising she’s still growing but that could be a measuring error and even if it isn’t, how am I supposed to notice less than a fourth of an inch height difference.

One of my other roommates thinks I’m an rear end in a top hat for suggesting scoliosis but I really don’t feel like I am.

hawowanlawow posted:

millennials have a "go to college" reflex that was implanted at a young age, a very successful long term grift

the mere suggestion that it's not always a good idea causes an uncontrollable meltdown state

Scathach posted:

Wait do parents really still do that dumb sex talk thing "at a certain age" or whatever instead of just answering questions when the kids are little and asking? Like if you have a ten year old that doesn't know how sex works that's kinda weird. Kids ask about babies way before that.

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for telling my daughter [26F] that I [55M] will not walk down the aisle with her stepdad [50M].


55-year-old man saying "This may sound immature, but I warned my daughter to never betray me."

OP posted:

I'm her only father, she's my seed not his, get real.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's a cliche perpetuated by boomers at this point because they probably went through awkward teenage sex talks and assume everyone else did too.

Plus kids are so much more savvy in schools/on the internet these days, so it's very hard to believe 10 year old kids need a comprehensive sex talk today.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I feel like any halfway decent not-oppressive/religious parents are gradually introducing age-appropriate body positivity and such to their children, so I doubt anyone has the birds and the bees talk in 2019.

hawowanlawow posted:

nobody wants their kid to be the first to know about sex


the sex kid they call him

quote:

When I met my husband 10 years ago, he had been divorced for two years. “Lindy” turned into a party girl after their divorce. Never around for the kids and very flaky. We have custody of their two children. Lindy was out of the picture for years, but she reemerged and texted my husband. She says she’s changed her focus in life and is getting herself together. She told my husband that she’s moving to Australia to start a new job and new healthy life. A few weeks later, I come home from work and find Lindy in my house having a glass of wine. My husband took me aside and told me that Lindy will be staying in our guest room for three weeks. He said her lease was up and this arrangement is temporary, and it will help her to save money until she leaves for Australia. I was upset that he didn’t consult me on it, but I let it go.

It’s now three months later and Lindy’s “job” keeps getting pushed back. I don’t think it ever existed. The worst part is I feel totally pushed out of my own family. My husband works from home so he is hanging around all day with his ex. I come home from work to find my husband sitting down with Lindy (and sometimes the kids), having dinner that she made, laughing at their old jokes, and having a wonderful time. Lindy also does my husband’s laundry, then says, “You are so busy. I don’t mind.” But I do! My stepdaughter has always had a picture of her mom in her bedroom, which is fine with me, but now it’s in our living room! And the last straw—I came home and found my husband in bed reading, as Lindy was organizing our closet! “It’s such a mess. Let me help.” My skin crawls at the thought of her looking through all my things.

I’ve spoken to my husband and he says it’s cute that I’m being jealous. He also said that he’s not going to put the mother of his children out on the street, nor pay for a motel. I want her out of my life and my husband and stepkids back, and my husband is doing nothing about it. I don’t know how much longer I can hang on, and I’m thinking that’s what she wants—to slip into my life as I slam the door behind me. Help, please.

quote:

I don’t know whether your marriage will survive this, but please don’t force yourself to stay just because you don’t want Lindy to “win.” Yes, it would be painful to leave feeling like she was smiling at having driven you out—but how much worse to stay in a marriage where your husband has already absented himself from you emotionally just because you don’t want to leave the two of them alone? I think you should start seeing a therapist. (If you can find a couples counselor and your husband is willing to go, fantastic; if he’s not, I want you to see someone yourself.) I also think you should tell your husband that this is a serious, marriage-threatening issue and that you need to be able to talk about it with him, in private, without Lindy present, to figure out whether he has any plans to live without her ever again. She’s been living with you for three months and he’s called your request to discuss the issue “cute”—that suggests he’s either unaware of or indifferent to how this has been affecting your marriage.

It’s also possible that they are already sleeping together; I don’t think it’s paranoid at this point to ask him point-blank, although you may not be inclined to trust whatever answer he gives you. Focus on what you need to make this marriage workable. If your husband isn’t able to listen to you or meet you halfway, then I want you to be able to leave and start rebuilding your life, not to force yourself to stay in a house with a rival who treats you with contempt out of fear that she’ll win if you go.

quote:

I was the letter writer whose husband let his ex-wife, “Lindy,” move into our home without telling me. Soon after I wrote to you, things in the house became even more tense. Lindy had a junkman haul my furniture away while I was at work. When I came home, there were new living room and dining room sets! The very last straw came when Lindy and my husband made family plans without me: a weekend away with the kids to visit “family.” (I guess I’m not family!) I finally stopped being a doormat. With all my financial ducks in a row, and with the help of friends, I moved out and started my new life. I am in the process of divorcing him. But here’s the best part: They are no longer together! On one of our divorce-discussing phone calls, my ex told me that Lindy left him for an “old friend” who came to town and with whom she shares a "deep spiritual connection.” He says they plan on opening a "bead store.” Now my ex is begging me to come back, saying he made a terrible mistake. No, thanks. I’ll keep my dignity, and he can keep the furniture. Thanks to you and your readers for the wake-up call.

quote:

I am so happy to hear that you’re out of that house and no longer feel beholden to your ex. I hope your friends provide you with all the support in the world and that the divorce moves ahead as smoothly as possible. Thank you for keeping us updated!

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for throwing away my daughters vibrator

QuarkJets posted:

AITA for not letting my son go to his father’s wedding with his mistress?

quote:

OP posted:

I'm her only father, she's my seed not his, get real.

Chomp8645 posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for telling my wife she probably shouldn't go to med school?


Waiting until you're 33 with a toddler to engage in the hardest career path in the world.


She did talk to her, and told her "I'm getting rid of it if you can't stop leaving your used sex toy on the counter where all the kids can play with it."

DemoneeHo posted:

Help! My Husband’s Ex-Wife Moved in With Us.

PetraCore posted:

Eeeeeh, daughter needs to pick up her stuff but you can't just throw it away, she's an adult and paid for it with her own money. At this point mom just has to give daughter money for a new one but reinforce that she can't just leave it out. There's gotta be like, bags you can store that stuff in, right?

Anyway 'please don't leave your sex toys laying around' is a reasonable boundary, throwing it away wasn't the right response.