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It avoids having to keep track of an extra account and constantly transferring stuff around. Unexpected expenses shouldn't require negotiating. My husband will cover it and I'll wire over whatever support he needs. It's not exactly a 50:50 split but we're not looking at our finances being his or hers even though we maintain it in separate chunks. Edit: This is what not to do. My (38F) husband (37M) of 6 months does not want to combine our finances, but I do. quote:Hello! My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married 6 months. We lived together for 3 years before we got married. We opened a joint checking account while we were dating and we each contributed an equal amount to the checking account for rent, bills, food, etc. the rest of our respective paychecks we kept in our own separate accounts for our car payments, clothes, golf clubs for him, books for me, etc. Dazerbeams fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Sep 21, 2019 |
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Sep 21, 2019 03:24
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Antivehicular posted:It's funnier if you assume it's Arby's they got the meats
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Sep 21, 2019 03:28
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Joint account is really astoundingly easy ever since online banking had been a thing. There's really not much to keep track of. You could also do venmo or paypal or whatever. One system doesn't seem that much more difficult or complicated than another. As long as what you're doing works for you its cool. The reddit post was more about secrecy and manipulation than it was about the particulars of their internal banking system
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Sep 21, 2019 03:32
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Im learning apparently people dont just use a single joint account when they get married and now Im questioning whether or not my ledgermaster legally needs a green desk lamp or if they were lying about that too.
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Sep 21, 2019 03:32
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Joint account means you don't have to probate to get access to your spouses money when they die. So whoever proposes joining the accounts is planning to murder the other. And if the other accepts too quickly it means they think they can murder the other first.
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Sep 21, 2019 03:35
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Cat Army
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Dazerbeams posted:Joint accounts seem like a pain in the rear end. Just make a document to track monthly expenses and divvy up who pays for what in a way that's balanced. If you're in a relationship, you should be able to trust that your partner will cover the utilities while you handle the groceries. I'm talking married couples.
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Sep 21, 2019 03:35
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for snapping my fingers in my boyfriend's grandfather's face? ITT a woman disrespected a MAN! The worst of crimes. Well, you've just found out your boyfriend's family are sexist pigs and your boyfriend is taking their side either out of cowardice or being a misogynist himself. Time to make him stand up for you or kick him to the curb. Smirking_Serpent posted:(F/28) my boyfriend (M/30) said something the other day that’s bothering me. Tie this guy up with sexist grandpa and dump them both off a cliff. Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Sep 21, 2019 |
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Sep 21, 2019 03:42
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Dazerbeams posted:It avoids having to keep track of an extra account and constantly transferring stuff around. Unexpected expenses shouldn't require negotiating. My husband will cover it and I'll wire over whatever support he needs. It's not exactly a 50:50 split but we're not looking at our finances being his or hers even though we maintain it in separate chunks. Compared to just having a single joint account, using separate accounts is keeping track of an extra account and constantly transferring stuff around. I'm not trying to proselytize, do whatever works for you. But how you arrange your finances isn't going to fix the underlying problem--either you generally trust your partner and how you split the money doesn't really matter much, or you don't trust your partner and will fight about it regardless (see: this entire loving thread)
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Sep 21, 2019 04:10
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Lmao at finger snapping grandpa acting like an old "Take my wife, please" style comedian's mockery of a woman. "She should read my mind and know she has to apologize" is straight up the exact thing dickheads like him say to mock women for being emotional. He's not a mob boss nobody outside his family is going to come begging for forgiveness while he's pouting alone.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:15
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It's super easy to have a joint account. My money goes in, her money goes in. We buy everything via joint credit cards and pay off the balance with the joint account. Couldn't be simpler. She gets what she wants and I get what I want. We're both frugal and don't spend tons of money anyway.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:17
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Leon Einstein posted:It's super easy to have a joint account. My money goes in, her money goes in. We buy everything via joint credit cards and pay off the balance with the joint account. Couldn't be simpler. She gets what she wants and I get what I want. We're both frugal and don't spend tons of money anyway. this part is key to this working lol
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Sep 21, 2019 04:21
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Straight White Shark posted:Compared to just having a single joint account, using separate accounts is keeping track of an extra account and constantly transferring stuff around. If you have a joint account, how is keeping a single account easier for tracking spending? I don't know what the gently caress my husband spends money on everyday nor care, I don't want to sit down every day and reconcile a joint account when I check my bank statements everyday and have a pretty good idea of what stupid poo poo I personally spent money on.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:24
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Haifisch posted:AITA if I ate a sliver of my roommate's donut in the middle of the night, feel the shame of my actions, and buy 2 donuts in return and leave a note acknowledging my rear end in a top hat-iness? YTA. Don't eat other people's deserts. Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not being able to fulfill my bridesmaid duties due to anxiety? Yes, you're the rear end in a top hat. She gave you an out and you didn't take it. Manage your poo poo or don't commit to doing things for other people. Kuros posted:Bolded the lol part. OP should be telling those assholes, "It's my house! I can tell people what they can and can't bring into my house!" LOL what if ninjas attack during Thanksgiving dinner? Won't you be wishing there was a good guy with a gun to save you? It you conceal carry, it should be concealed and nobody should know. The fact that OP knows means this guy is a yahoo.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:27
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Motronic posted:Lol seriously? Control your schedule. Everything else in your post was about not being in control of your schedule but still rashly committing to things an adult wouldn't commit to because they couldn't actually do that......and rather just say "I might be able to, I don't know yet." A commitment is a commitment. This isn't a difficult concept unless you are trying to change the definition of the actual word. Agreed. Flakey people suck. Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for snapping my fingers in my boyfriend's grandfather's face? This lady owns.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:30
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for disinviting my brother in law from thanksgiving because he conceal carries? She couldn't just ask him to leave it in the car or something? Motronic posted:I [19F] was just informed of my boyfriend's [19M] multiple personalities. Please help.ts. Did this get killed off? I was enjoying the nonsense of it all. When someone has multiple personalities, do the personalities know about each other? She said he had something set up to monitor the switches, WTF?
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Sep 21, 2019 04:36
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Dazerbeams posted:Joint accounts seem like a pain in the rear end. Just make a document to track monthly expenses and divvy up who pays for what in a way that's balanced. If you're in a relationship, you should be able to trust that your partner will cover the utilities while you handle the groceries. The big advantage of a joint account that both partners contribute to, is that your creditors only ever see that account. If anything goes weird or hosed up, the individuals in the relationship have a degree of separation.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:36
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dudeness posted:Joint account means you don't have to probate to get access to your spouses money when they die. you can designate someone as the beneficiary of your account, speeding the spousal murder process
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Sep 21, 2019 04:41
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My husband and I have our own separate accounts and a joint account together, but it's really not complicated because we don't do stupid poo poo like "repaying" each other when one of us buys a meal from their personal account. Too many married couples play tit for tat when it comes to money and it often leads to resentment and then going on r/relationships to complain about it.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:45
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Serene Dragon posted:Too many married couples play tit for tat when it comes to money and it often leads to resentment and then going on r/relationships to complain about it. Yeah, that is hosed up. We generally take turns paying for meals and assorted other minor expenses, but it also leaves room for treats where it is generally one of us would pay for something and the other does it.
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Sep 21, 2019 04:58
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Mooseykins posted:She couldn't just ask him to leave it in the car or something? I see you're not familiar with the ARE RIGHTS  crowd.It honestly wouldn't surprise me if they'd show up at a total stranger's front door with a loaded firearm, demanding to be let in lest you violate their absolute right to carry firearms when and wherever they want regardless of the wishes of the property owner.
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Sep 21, 2019 05:11
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Geoj posted:I see you're not familiar with the ARE RIGHTS I am not driving i am travelling!
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Sep 21, 2019 05:13
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how you treat retail and service workers is who you really are. like blacking out!
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Sep 21, 2019 05:14
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:how you treat retail and service workers is who you really are. like blacking out! Those both inform the person's character at the very least
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Sep 21, 2019 05:20
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Mooseykins posted:I am not driving i am travelling! I am here to request a remedy at the behest of the guarantor of the individual of the person that is StupidSexyVaultGuy
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Sep 21, 2019 05:20
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teen witch posted:white people hating on white people because they’re not the right white is never not funny. yeah what the germans did in eastern europe was a laugh riot
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Sep 21, 2019 05:21
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The Clowner posted:Those both inform the person's character at the very least agreed!
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Sep 21, 2019 05:24
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:agreed! good, glad we could agree
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Sep 21, 2019 05:30
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Mooseykins posted:Did this get killed off? I was enjoying the nonsense of it all. It got removed. Maybe by one of the other personalities?!  But seriously, it sounded like the bf saw the movie Split for the first time. I'm pretty sure that movie had a character 'monitoring' the switches.
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Sep 21, 2019 05:57
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Mooseykins posted:When someone has multiple personalities, do the personalities know about each other? She said he had something set up to monitor the switches, WTF?
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Sep 21, 2019 05:58
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The Clowner posted:good, glad we could agree me too friend 
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Sep 21, 2019 06:09
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AmiYumi posted:Up for debate, as MPD pretty much doesn’t exist. What few cases there have been didn’t just manifest calmly one day at 19, they were in people who had been severely abused their entire lives and had a giant host of other diagnoses which made them incredibly unreliable sources at best. It didn't exist as a term/concept until the 1950s when one of those "Ripleys Believe it or Not" type shows featured a woman who claimed to have 8 separate distinct personalities. 70 years later its one of those "oh yeah you hear about it all the time its probably true" things.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:10
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for my first marriage we only had joint banking accounts. money was never an issue, we didn't fight about it and neither of us ever made any wildly inappropriate purchases that put us both at risk of things like paying rent what was a problem, though, is that after 8 years we got divorced. at which point we learned that separating our finances involved completely closing out joint accounts and starting from square one signing up for new accounts. almost a decade of good banking history was just, like, gone. this hosed up things like background checks for renting new apartments and the like. also our otherwise awesome little bank had discontinued their "free checking" program meaning when i opened a new account suddenly i had monthly finance charges based on how much money i was able to keep in checking and savings which had never been an issue before. and since we separated rather suddenly when she hopped in a car and drove halfway across the country never to be seen again, even closing the account itself was a mess of paperwork since she decided to move to a state where our bank didn't have offices so it wasn't like we could go in together to both sign off on emptying and closing the account. i married another person and one of the things we talked about was keeping separate accounts. again, we don't fight over money, that's not the point. the point is that we both have financial history and access to a level of security that will survive if we ever reach a point where our relationship is no longer viable (which, i hope, never happens). we do maintain a third account that has both our names on it as equal owners should something terrible happen like one of us dies suddenly or develops dementia or otherwise is unable to care for ourselves or the other person. but it's an account that has no bills or expenses attached to it and exists solely as a safety net for the worst possible cases. i also recognize that we're only even able to do that because we are at a level of income that the majority of americans are unlikely to reach so i'm not here to look down on people who don't have the money or money-management skills to make that happen. we're hugely lucky. but i would encourage anyone getting married to keep their own bank accounts and, if at all possible, open up a small account at a credit union somewhere that has both people's names on it
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Sep 21, 2019 06:13
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LadyPictureShow posted:It got removed. Maybe by one of the other personalities?! The bullshit in that post was amazing. It struck me as her boyfriend just making it up for some weird thing like denial of responsibility or something, or just attention. "Oh yeah, it wasn't me that treated you like poo poo/cheated on you/asked for anal/ate your food. it was my other personality. So totally not my fault." Assuming it was true and not just a made up post. Not seen that movie, will look into it. AmiYumi posted:Up for debate, as MPD pretty much doesn’t exist. What few cases there have been didn’t just manifest calmly one day at 19, they were in people who had been severely abused their entire lives and had a giant host of other diagnoses which made them incredibly unreliable sources at best. It doesn't actually exist? I never knew that, i thought it was an actualy known, albeit rare, thing. I did understand that it came from deeply disturbed or traumatized individuals with a fair history of mental illness and not something that manifested overnight. So is it not like actual numerous personalities, but just one personality with very sporadic different traits, somewhat like bipolar disorder? I'll have to read more into it, i love psychology.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:16
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Taima posted:I don't know, one single class per semester at a real college? And then they sit on the phone crying saying how hard it is? It could be a trustafarian but drat that's just sad even for someone trying to coast. The only thing I can say about this is that I wish I had had enough money to take 1 class per semester and take 8 years to graduate. Sounds pretty great, and sounds like a reliable roommate. If you want to get involved maybe ask why, but don’t look a gift roommate paying $800/month on time in the mouth, my dude.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:16
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Smirking_Serpent posted:it is said that if that if a guy treats a waitress like poo poo, it's a preview of how he'll treat his GF in six months. "Don't look at how they treat you, look at how they treat the staff" is pretty much the first rule of getting a read on a date. It's an old one, my mother said her grandmother told it to her. Also works well for job interviews, investment pitches, judging politicians, and any other situation where someone might be trying to put up a facade. And somehow, despite it being so obvious and something everybody knows, a lot of people gently caress it up. One would think that if you know your date's looking at how you treat other people, you wouldn't treat them like crap while on the date.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:31
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My husband and I have a joint account at the sperm bank. It works for us. Every month we go to the bank and whip out our microscopes in the refrigerated safety deposit box room to ensure that our deposits are being handled adequately. I know this is a bit much, but my husband insists even though our deposits are SIPC insured (Semen Investors Protection Corporation, the ejaculate analogue to the FDIC aka Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation). I keep telling my husband that our deposit at the sperm bank isn't insured and that interest accumulation would be a confusing and bad thing, but he insists because he doesn't trust sperm banks.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:31
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Sperm banks only need to keep 10% of the total sperm transaction value on hand at any time. Not trusting them is smart, you never know when there could be a run on it. Always save some in a sock under the bed.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:36
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:The only thing I can say about this is that I wish I had had enough money to take 1 class per semester and take 8 years to graduate. Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. Luckily, I actually screened my roommates, so it worked out, but go ahead and depend on the money from Lucy Noschool if you want. Real life is a lot harder than this, dude. I really can't roll my eyes hard enough at this dumb bullshit.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:43
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Taima posted:Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. What the gently caress are you on about. Saying it would be nice to be well off enough to cruise through your degree and appreciate what you're learning isn't some radical idea.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:48
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Taima posted:Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. Wealthy kids go to college too.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:51
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