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Mooseykins posted:It doesn't actually exist? I never knew that, i thought it was an actualy known, albeit rare, thing. I did understand that it came from deeply disturbed or traumatized individuals with a fair history of mental illness and not something that manifested overnight. So is it not like actual numerous personalities, but just one personality with very sporadic different traits, somewhat like bipolar disorder? Like a lot of things to do with pop culture psychology it caught on because it's a fun concept to write stories about rather than any kind of genuine evidence or merit. The popular perception is more Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde than any real life example. Thing is about psychology is that within a century or less we've basically gone from leeches and bloodletting to maybe methods that kind of work, hopefully, and have to completely rewrite the textbooks regularly with what actually works.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:52
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Taima posted:Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. congrats on being a fakeass unpaid landlord
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Sep 21, 2019 06:53
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Inceltown posted:Sperm banks only need to keep 10% of the total sperm transaction value on hand at any time. Not trusting them is smart, you never know when there could be a run on it. You're on the right tack. The Fed loosens or tightens the leash on the economy by mandating minimum cash reserves in proportion to client deposits at sperm banks. Say the standard sperm bank reserve deposit minimum is 20%. Little Stevie, opening his first account with his local Spank of America branch, establishes a checking account under the loving guidance of his parents. He deposits 1,000 milliliters from his summer job. The bank puts 20% of that deposit into their reserves, and then turns around and lends 800ml to someone buying a car. The dealership who sold the car turns around and deposits the 800ml proceeds of that sale into Chafed Bank, who then lends out 640ml. And so on. This is called the cum multiplier effect. Like many things in economics, nobody knows how it works. And anyone smart enough to understand it never questions where all this free cum is coming from.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:56
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As long as the cum never stops why would you worry.
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Sep 21, 2019 06:59
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Dazerbeams posted:Edit: This is what not to do. That's what my wife and I do and it works great. We dump all of our money into a single account and take equal monthly allowances into our own accounts for whatever stupid poo poo we want that isn't a "house" purchase. Marriage is a partnership, you shouldn't be hoarding your gains from a promotion or windfall or whatever, and you shouldn't be punishing your spouse if "normal" financial setbacks occur. A couple of times we reduced the allowance (I think we briefly had overlapping car payments) to avoid punishing the house account, and then went back to normal after a while. If one of us lost our job we'd probably drastically reduce the allowance but I view that as a lot better outcome than wrecking our household happiness if I can go buy horses or bitcoins while she's stuck with nothing but groceries and gas. The vast bulk of the couples we know who do fully separated accounts at some point have whined to me about how it was their turn to pay at a nice dinner and then the spouse gets off cheap at the bar, or the spouse kinda tends to order that extra side of onion rings when it's not their turn to pay. And that's to say nothing of the couples who are straight up financial disasters but would likely benefit from a very controlled "you may spend this" account while the life expenses are dealt with.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:00
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My partner and I do separate accounts and it works fine. She earns a lot more than me so pays most of the bills and I do most of the chores. It's not a hard thing to work out between you, you just need to talk.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:09
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Zachack posted:That's what my wife and I do and it works great. We dump all of our money into a single account and take equal monthly allowances into our own accounts for whatever stupid poo poo we want that isn't a "house" purchase. Marriage is a partnership, you shouldn't be hoarding your gains from a promotion or windfall or whatever, and you shouldn't be punishing your spouse if "normal" financial setbacks occur. A couple of times we reduced the allowance (I think we briefly had overlapping car payments) to avoid punishing the house account, and then went back to normal after a while. If one of us lost our job we'd probably drastically reduce the allowance but I view that as a lot better outcome than wrecking our household happiness if I can go buy horses or bitcoins while she's stuck with nothing but groceries and gas. Putting each party on an "allowance" sounds much more mature. Did you add each other on your credit cards first to keep everything fair? quote:The vast bulk of the couples we know who do fully separated accounts at some point have whined to me about how it was their turn to pay at a nice dinner and then the spouse gets off cheap at the bar, or the spouse kinda tends to order that extra side of onion rings when it's not their turn to pay. And that's to say nothing of the couples who are straight up financial disasters but would likely benefit from a very controlled "you may spend this" account while the life expenses are dealt with. Congrats on knowing people in bad relationships.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:09
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AITA for asking the teacher to change her "teaching style" for my daughter? My daughter just started first grade. She knows how to read, and is able to read silently to herself. She'll read out loud if you ask her to, but it's not something she needs to do. My daughter came home from school one day very angry with me, demanding to know why I had told her teacher that she couldn't read. I talked to the teacher and it turned out that because it was uncommon for new first graders to read silently, the teacher assumed that my daughter was faking. The teacher told my daughter that I had asked the teacher to check in with her and help her with her reading because I was concerned that she was having trouble. The teacher didn't even ask my daughter to read out loud to confirm that she was having difficulty, she just assumed. I asked the teacher why she lied about me being worried, and she explained that it's something she likes to do because kids find it more motivating if they know their parents are involved in the issue and it's not just the teacher. That makes sense, but it only makes sense to do that if the parents and teacher have actually talked about the problem. I don't think the teacher should be pretending they spoke to the parents and lying to the kid. The teacher apologized about the mistake of thinking my daughter couldn't read and promised to confirm problems in the future. I'm not that upset because it was a mistake and she apologized, but she still seemed pretty adamant that it was fine to lie to a kid and pretend that the teacher and parents had discussed the issue. I asked the teacher to only talk about things that actually happened, instead of making up stories about me saying things I didn't say. At least this time we were able to sort this out pretty quickly, but I don't like the idea of the teacher telling my kid that I said things that I might seriously object to. The teacher asked, "you want me to change my teaching style just for (daughter)?" I said, "I really don't think you should do this at all, but if nobody else has complained, then I guess it is just for (daughter)." AITA for asking a teacher to act differently just for my kid and criticizing her teaching method? I know teachers have a tough job and I normally wouldn't be so pushy, but I really had a problem with this.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:20
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking the teacher to change her "teaching style" for my daughter? NTA, just in a minority that doesn't keep their young child's demons at bay with an interlocking web of lies and salt circles.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:41
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My (25f) boyfriend (27m) made me feel like absolute crap about my appearance, and then when I asked why he's with me then, he said "babe it isn't all about looks" and seemed offended. Okay reddit PLEASE HELP. I've been dating this guy for almost two years, and honestly I love him. I really do. Things seem amazing, and he feels the same about me. I've never felt so happy in my life. I have low self esteem, low self worth, all that good stuff. I know I'm no model, I'm average at best when I try really hard. I don't let this cause issues in my relationship though. I don't start crap if I see him look at a girl or anything. My boyfriend initiated our first meet, he showed interest in me before I ever did him. I figured he must like me right? So, we dated obviously and that was that. But tonight something happened that absolutely crushed me and I don't know how to feel. We were making plans for the weekend, and I brought up a few ideas that kept getting shot down. We'd planned to hang out with his brother and a few friends, nothing special. I jokingly said "Baby, all of your ideas would be at night... Is there something I don't know?" and was laughing, but he wasn't. He did a "heh heh" laugh and got serious so I started questioning him about it and the truth came out. He said not to get offended and when I got immediately defensive, he almost wouldn't tell me, but finally he said "I'm not as attractive as his exes" and he'd rather them (his brother and friends?) not see me in the daylight because they might compare me and "hurt my feelings". I can't lie. I started crying. Right there. Not only am I painfully aware of my physical faults, I'm also on my period right now. Bad. Bad. Bad combo. He was ready to be fine with the conversion and he kept apologizing and hugging me but I needed him to tell me what exactly he meant. He waited until I stopped crying, and he made me promise I wouldn't cry again or he wouldn't keep talking about it because he feels bad. He basically told me my skin in the natural daylight doesn't look great. He said I have more wrinkles than his exes, it makes me look older, but they all had smooth skin and no wrinkles. and my teeth don't look that great in the light. He swears these things don't bother him, but that his family and friends suck and would hurt my feelings and not care, and he'd rather save me from that pain....... I do have smile lines next to my mouth, from... smiling. It's in my genes. I have some forehead wrinkles, but not that many  that's literally it. And my teeth yeah, aren't great. But I didn't know it was that big of a deal. Ugh. I don't know. Part of me worries all this crying and feeling bad is coming from my self esteem issues so I don't know if I'm being overdramatic or what? Finally, at the end I said "... Why are you with me?" because he's just pointing out all these bad things I didn't know he even noticed. He seemed offended, and said he loves everything about me and "babe it isn't all about looks, there's so much more to a relationship". I basically ended the conversation there, and now... Here I am. Crying in the bathtub, begging for some advice. I don't even want to do anything this weekend at all now. Help? is it my period + lack of self esteem making me feel this way... Or was this all around a crappy thing to have happen? Ugh.Im obsessing over every little thing now. I can't stop looking at my face. I feel absolutely disgusting. I looked at some of his exes on fb and really have no idea why he's with me period. I feel like HE'S embarrassed and doesn't want anyone seeing me. Ughughughhhhhhh Tl;dr; boyfriend said he wanted to save me from his brother and friends hurting my feelings because I'm less attractive than his exes. I feel like crap, and he's offended I asked why he's even with me. I feel like he's embarrassed and isn't really worried about his family and friends offending me. I'm sad
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Sep 21, 2019 07:45
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (25f) boyfriend (27m) made me feel like absolute crap about my appearance, and then when I asked why he's with me then, he said "babe it isn't all about looks" and seemed offended.  You ain't un-ringing that bell, and a guy who isn't past that phase at 27 is a piece of poo poo anyway.
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Sep 21, 2019 07:54
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cumshitter posted:My husband and I have a joint account at the sperm bank. It works for us. It sounds like your husband needs to get into Buttcoin to be his own sperm bank
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Sep 21, 2019 08:16
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FilthyImp posted:We have a shared account and personal accounts for frivolous spending. Why not just send X000.00 to the other person's account instead of a third, joint account?
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Sep 21, 2019 08:34
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking the teacher to change her "teaching style" for my daughter? what the poo poo, I never read out loud, not ever. Nobody ever assumed I couldn't loving read. Hey, this is uncommon, better assume some poo poo and lie to a kid! I looked on the post (which has been deleted for "obviously not being an rear end in a top hat", wtf) and there's a NAH from a teacher because "all teachers are told to lie to kids like this" (WTF?) and a YTA because TEACHERS HAVE IT HARD YOU'RE SO ENTITLED. Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 08:39 on Sep 21, 2019 |
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Sep 21, 2019 08:37
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Taima posted:Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. If their mom is paying all of the bills anyway and is totally fine with them taking 1 class per semester, then that implies that they're less likely to default on rent than the average college room mate. And I'm not sure why you're so pissed off at someone for wanting to take courses casually, are you okay?
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Sep 21, 2019 08:39
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (25f) boyfriend (27m) made me feel like absolute crap about my appearance, and then when I asked why he's with me then, he said "babe it isn't all about looks" and seemed offended.  Wow. What a piece of poo poo! quote:He said "I'm not as attractive as his exes" and he'd rather them not see me in the daylight. Not see her in daylight? Were all these plans in loving darkness or something? You can still see fine lines and wrinkles under artificial light, what the hell? quote:He basically told me my skin in the natural daylight doesn't look great. He said I have more wrinkles than his exes, it makes me look older, but they all had smooth skin and no wrinkles. and my teeth don't look that great in the light. He swears these things don't bother him, but that his family and friends suck and would hurt my feelings and not care, and he'd rather save me from that pain....... He's ashamed of her appearance. He's worried of being judged himself based on her physical appearance. There's no coming back from that. She needs to gently caress him off and find someone else.
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Sep 21, 2019 08:51
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Lazyhound posted:from r/LegalAdviceUK: Lol here comes a new wave of people who will never be able to donate blood or organs.
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Sep 21, 2019 10:21
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (25f) boyfriend (27m) made me feel like absolute crap about my appearance, and then when I asked why he's with me then, he said "babe it isn't all about looks" and seemed offended. So this is abuse, right? I mean just actual, calculated abuse. It reads like some thetan level PUA poo poo. "Of course I love you, baby, but you know what you look like. We can't have you parading around normal people, think how disgusted they will be with you. Trust me, it's for your own good."
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Sep 21, 2019 10:29
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abuse is a strong word he's just a oval office and she's weak for staying with him clearly
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Sep 21, 2019 10:33
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Not abusive but 500% a loving monster.
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Sep 21, 2019 10:37
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She needs to go and check his browser history for redpill and poo poo like that. It's straight out of their playbook.
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Sep 21, 2019 10:38
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Nastyman posted:So this is abuse, right? I mean just actual, calculated abuse. It reads like some thetan level PUA poo poo. It sounds like some kind of emotional abuse or manipulation. You're absolutely right about the pickup artist thing, it does sound very much like their creepy tactics. Collapsing Farts posted:he's just a oval office and she's weak for staying with him clearly It's weird that they've been together for 2 years before this came up. Surely she would've had met his friends and family in that time. Also, what does all this red pill/blue pill stuff mean? Mooseykins fucked around with this message at 10:47 on Sep 21, 2019 |
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Sep 21, 2019 10:43
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AITA taking ice cream from a kid?quote:Hello. I live in an apartment with my roommate Jess. I also have an expensive ice cream habit. i took the VERY EXPENSIVE ice cream from the child and when he started crying I calmly turned to my room mate and said "please control your guests" mom's also an idiot who has probably never had a room mate who wasn't her husband
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Sep 21, 2019 11:00
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QuarkJets posted:i took the VERY EXPENSIVE ice cream from the child and when he started crying I calmly turned to my room mate and said "please control your guests" I bet it tasted loving delicious.
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Sep 21, 2019 11:04
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Taima posted:Forgive me if I don't take financial advice from some dunce that would love to attend 1 class per semester. Grow up. Someone who can barely function is not a reliable roommate. When I was in college, a roommate defaulting on their rent would have absolutely ruined me. 😂 Tell me again how hard Real Life is, oh knower of wisdom.
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Sep 21, 2019 13:12
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Mooseykins posted:Also, what does all this red pill/blue pill stuff mean? It's just different flavours of internet misogyny. Are you one of the sheep who doesn't see the truth, or are you enlightened and know that all women are filthy whores? No? Guess you have some growing up to do, then.
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Sep 21, 2019 14:09
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:The only thing I can say about this is that I wish I had had enough money to take 1 class per semester and take 8 years to graduate. Wouldn’t it take 16 years at that rate?
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Sep 21, 2019 14:32
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Three Olives posted:Not to be all "child-free" but it is amazing how many ways parents want to dump the burdens on having a child upon society. Brats running around grocery stores, screaming at restaurants and then making comments to childless 30 something couples that manage to be both jealous of our lifestyles yet still condescending about the fact that we aren't raising children. That's not a case of "children bad" though, but "parents bad". But of course the joke then is these people clearly SHOULD have stayed child free since they're loving terrible at having children.
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Sep 21, 2019 14:44
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kimbo305 posted:Wouldn’t it take 16 years at that rate? Associate's degree, or one class each during fall, spring, winter, and fall semesters for a bachelor's? E: That's still only 48 credits out of 120, or 96 if it's all 4 semesters. OP was probably exaggerating, and she takes a couple classes but less than a full load.
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Sep 21, 2019 14:46
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they need to rename /aita to /am I technically in the right, in a very “not touching you!” sort of way. lmao. taking ice cream from a little kid is an rear end in a top hat move even if you didn’t like give permission very expensive ice cream! you must protect the at maximum 2.00 that a couple scoops represent
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Sep 21, 2019 15:14
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AmiYumi posted:Up for debate, as MPD pretty much doesn’t exist. What few cases there have been didn’t just manifest calmly one day at 19, they were in people who had been severely abused their entire lives and had a giant host of other diagnoses which made them incredibly unreliable sources at best. Mooseykins posted:It doesn't actually exist? I never knew that, i thought it was an actualy known, albeit rare, thing. I did understand that it came from deeply disturbed or traumatized individuals with a fair history of mental illness and not something that manifested overnight. So is it not like actual numerous personalities, but just one personality with very sporadic different traits, somewhat like bipolar disorder? Actually, it does exist. It's called DID, disassociative identity disorder: quote:DID has been officially recognized as a mental disorder since its inclusion in the 1980 release of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III). It's a pretty controversial diagnosis though. Some professionals claim that DID-related behavior is more often than not symptomatic of an underlying problem rather than a mental illness endpoint: quote:In truth, if MPD or DID even exists, it is amazingly rare. In fact, within my professional network, not a single competent therapist I know of has ever seen a legitimate case of DID. Thus never, in my experience, among dozens of clinicians who have provided treatment to literally thousands of clients spanning decades of clinical practice has a single person ever been identified as a bona fide DID sufferer. So the issue is not whether it's real, but how widespread and how misdiagnosed it is in practice.
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Sep 21, 2019 15:15
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If I was taking only one at a time I'd do summer classes and maybe even those intensive 3 week courses over the winter break. gently caress it, ain't got anything else to do. A friend of mine from home did basically that, he moved to where we ended up going to college and never left. He did undergrad, summer classes, got his masters in an accelerated program that included summers... then just moved into a job in the department he studied under. Never gave up the college lifestyle fully, he doesn't like rent/own a grown up apartment or house. Lives in a college apartment with college/grad students, parties with students. DragQueenofAngmar posted:they need to rename /aita to /am I technically in the right, in a very “not touching you!” sort of way. lmao. taking ice cream from a little kid is an rear end in a top hat move even if you didn’t like give permission there was a good meta post about this yesterday in the subreddit. i kinda doubt anything will change, but i'm hopeful? it was basically a long post that said "stop being loving rules lawyers, if you can help someone in your life through a small amount of effort you will be considered the rear end in a top hat IRL by everyone, even if idiots on this site say you aren't TECHNICALLY RESPONSIBLE"
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Sep 21, 2019 15:16
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WIBTA for asking my fiancé to take his cat to the poundquote:Throwaway, for obvious reasons, this is very specific.
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Sep 21, 2019 15:16
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:WIBTA for asking my fiancé to take his cat to the pound Lol of course that's what reddit laser focused in on
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Sep 21, 2019 15:21
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That's extremely non standard behavior for a house cat - have they been in contact with the vet? There is a mental thing that causes them to feel fear all of the time and lash out really violently (beyond standard under stimulated cat "attacks" which are usually just boredom or neglect) and they can/do get medication for it.
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Sep 21, 2019 15:23
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The Clowner posted:Actually, it does exist. It's called DID, disassociative identity disorder: DID is diagnosed by a vanishingly small amount of doctors, which points to the possibility that those therapists are, whether intentionally or not, creating that behavior in their patients. It’s not a universally accepted diagnosis at all.
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Sep 21, 2019 15:32
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Boyfriend didnt invite me to friends weddingquote:I (F, 31) have been together with my boyfriend (M, 34) for 4 months, mostly long distance. We had discussed going to LA to see each other: he had to be there for work and for a friends wedding. He didnt invite me to join him at the wedding and when I asked why he'd rather go alone he said something about not being sure about the exact time of his arrival because of work and that he didnt want to inconvenience me on the chance that he had to change plans last minute. We agreed we would spend the week after the wedding together. Decided this was ok and went along with plan to meet him there after wedding. As it approached this began to bother me more and more. Spoke to him about it again and same excuse. This just doesnt sit well with me, his job just isnt that unpredictable. On the night of the wedding this eventually turned into a phone argument especially as it turned out that he had the time to pick up 3 friends along the way (one of whom is his female friend and she had asked him for a ride there a while ago). So he didnt wanna figure out logistics with me but could do it with the others and they had been planning this pickup for a while. Another reason for the argument - I was supposed to land at 2pm the next day and he wasn't sure whether he could pick me up from the airport (he has to return the rental car there anyway) or whether there may/may not be a post wedding lunch. So in other words I'm supposed to head to the hotel and meet him there. After our argument he apologized and said he didnt mean it in the way that I've take it (ie as a total rejection). None of this feels right and his actions raw totally out of character he is usually very loving, considerate and all of that. Am I right to be annoyed? Is it too soon to expect an invite? How do I deal with this? Advice greatly greatly appreciated.
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Sep 21, 2019 15:58
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lol if you posted:almost a decade of good banking history was just, like, gone. It's not really clear what you experienced here, but that's not how the banking system works. Just like closing a credit card (and/or getting a new one) doesn't wipe out your credit history, because Equifax/Transunion/etc has it, the same is true of banking (Chex Systems).
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Sep 21, 2019 16:05
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Midnight Voyager posted:what the poo poo, I never read out loud, not ever. Nobody ever assumed I couldn't loving read. From someone working in education yeah it's a clear cut NTA situation, both those replies are dumb as hell. For the first, uh no?? What teachers are heavily emphasized on doing is differentiation. Meaning paying close attention to the different needs in the room and adjusting accordingly. Telling little white lies now and a then to really little kids isn't bad, but uh.... telling them their parents said something they didn't is way the hell over the line for all sorts of reasons. For the second one, teachers do have it hard but god loving forbid we go the route of cops and turn that into some lockstep cult poo poo where even when teachers gently caress up they get a stonewall defense. gently caress that poo poo.
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Sep 21, 2019 16:15
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Mooseykins posted:It doesn't actually exist? I never knew that, i thought it was an actualy known, albeit rare, thing. I did understand that it came from deeply disturbed or traumatized individuals with a fair history of mental illness and not something that manifested overnight. So is it not like actual numerous personalities, but just one personality with very sporadic different traits, somewhat like bipolar disorder? I know someone who "has one", but it's not quite that simple. She was severely abused in childhood, to a degree that almost sounds like an edgy parody with how traumatizing it was, and dissociating is a common coping method for severely abused children. In this case it manifested as her dissociation being referring to herself by an old nickname and becoming much more willing to engage in risky or self-harming behavior, which she may or may not have memory of after she snaps out of it. It's not an actual "split personality", but her brain essentially cutting her off under stress because it used to be the only way to handle what she went through without snapping completely. That's why borderline personality disorder is commonly seen in people with abusive childhoods and dissociation is a common symptom. A lot of the symptoms of BPD are coping mechanisms that the brain develops under severe abuse, which become inappropriate outside of that environment. Like splitting (black & white thinking making it impossible to view anyone or anything as something other than wholly good or wholly bad) is a way of easily cutting off potential sources of danger, but instead causes them to flip out on their loved ones and abandon people while classifying them as "evil" when they do something they don't like. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Sep 21, 2019 |
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Sep 21, 2019 16:21
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